What is up with the parents hanging at the bus stop?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it is bizarre. Also, these kids aren't learning basic things like how to walk down the street by themselves. Just another example of parents putting their own experience of being a parent above the needs of their children.

Agree. The bus stop shouldn’t be an opportunity for parents to socialize. It ruins the social dynamic of the kids. Bus stops are a great place for kids to be social with other kids they may not necessarily be friends with or socialize with at school, and talk candidly with each other. I have great memories of hanging out at the bus stop as a child from as early as kindergarten. Parents were never there. It was a blast. Even in bad weather, or buses running late, we had each other and made the best of it. Once in a blue moon, if it was a down pour, someone’s mom in a minivan might show up and we would all pile in. But this was a rare occurrence even for bad weather. Help your child dress appropriately and any weather shouldn’t be an issue. It is ok for them for be uncomfortable for a short time.

+1

It is amazing how these parents feel their socialization at the bus stop is more important than their own kid's independence and social skills.

[Anonymous]

OP, the discomfort of being different is yours to bare but your kids will turn out just fine. Yes it's a little odd and there will be other things: parents having lunch at school with their kid, parents expected to deliver something to school that was forgotten. A lot of parents frequently at school which is considered normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it is bizarre. Also, these kids aren't learning basic things like how to walk down the street by themselves. Just another example of parents putting their own experience of being a parent above the needs of their children.

Agree. The bus stop shouldn’t be an opportunity for parents to socialize. It ruins the social dynamic of the kids. Bus stops are a great place for kids to be social with other kids they may not necessarily be friends with or socialize with at school, and talk candidly with each other. I have great memories of hanging out at the bus stop as a child from as early as kindergarten. Parents were never there. It was a blast. Even in bad weather, or buses running late, we had each other and made the best of it. Once in a blue moon, if it was a down pour, someone’s mom in a minivan might show up and we would all pile in. But this was a rare occurrence even for bad weather. Help your child dress appropriately and any weather shouldn’t be an issue. It is ok for them for be uncomfortable for a short time.

Who is making up all these rules? Who is to say when and where people can and should socialize? DCUM is a strange group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, the discomfort of being different is yours to bare but your kids will turn out just fine. Yes it's a little odd and there will be other things: parents having lunch at school with their kid, parents expected to deliver something to school that was forgotten. A lot of parents frequently at school which is considered normal.

[Anonymous]

I’m a parent at the bus stop. My fourth grader doesn't need me there at all. My kindergartener does though. And the fourth grader still sometimes wants me to, if not needs me to. Judge away OP, just don’t flatter yourself I am thinking about you or your parenting at all. Couldn’t care less.

[Anonymous]

Its called parenting. Try it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it is bizarre. Also, these kids aren't learning basic things like how to walk down the street by themselves. Just another example of parents putting their own experience of being a parent above the needs of their children.

Agree. The bus stop shouldn’t be an opportunity for parents to socialize. It ruins the social dynamic of the kids. Bus stops are a great place for kids to be social with other kids they may not necessarily be friends with or socialize with at school, and talk candidly with each other. I have great memories of hanging out at the bus stop as a child from as early as kindergarten. Parents were never there. It was a blast. Even in bad weather, or buses running late, we had each other and made the best of it. Once in a blue moon, if it was a down pour, someone’s mom in a minivan might show up and we would all pile in. But this was a rare occurrence even for bad weather. Help your child dress appropriately and any weather shouldn’t be an issue. It is ok for them for be uncomfortable for a short time.

Who is making up all these rules? Who is to say when and where people can and should socialize? DCUM is a strange group.

+1. How bizarre. I can’t even imagine caring about whether other parents do or don’t walk their kid to the bus stop. I do on my days off, and don’t on the days I work. Who cares, really.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
You are flustered because you are not used to more involved parenting and feel you might be judged for continuing your perfectly legitimate parenting.

Don't criticize these parents for having the free time and desire to socialize. I am the only adult to stick around at the bus stop, and am the one who calls the bus depot when the bus is running late, so that I can reassure kids who start getting anxious.

I doubt you'll get judged, but it would be diplomatic to introduce yourself, or at least smile warmly and greet the adults. If you say you just moved here, they will welcome you. If you say your mornings are really busy, and that you will be sending your kids alone in the future, they will understand.

These types of little social issues can always be solved by COMMUNICATION.

I wrote the above, and clearly became the target for some nasty sock-puppeter with an axe to grind.

The kids at our bus stop cannot walk back home. It is a central stop for immersion or magnet schools and the parents drop off their kids and leave for work. This is why I stay, because I am not busy in the morning. It's actually a nice way to help. One of the buses has a 90 minute route, it is often running late and the kids get really anxious because they don't want to miss first period. I am the one who calls the bus depot who checks in with the driver and tells me when to expect the bus.

The level of vitriol by some posters on here is probably commensurate with their level of insecurity. There is no need to attack others who don't parent like you. There are many RIGHT ways to parent, thank goodness. The kids will for the most part turn out fine. By all means drop off your kid and bolt, you have things to do. But please accept that others are also free to do otherwise, and that does not make them bad parents, just as you are not a bad parent.

[Anonymous]

Ok, I'll bite. I used to drop off and pick up my kid at the bust stop through 3rd grade. From grade 4 on, she's walking back and forth alone. However, there is a parent in our neighborhood who is putting his 7th grader on the bus. I kid you not, the guy hangs around the stop looking at this phone until the bus comes. The man is retired so he, obviously, doesn't have anything else to do, but I find this setup to be extremely weird. I mean, c'mon, you're putting a 13-year-old boy on the school bus? And no, the kid is not SN.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a parent at the bus stop. My fourth grader doesn't need me there at all. My kindergartener does though. And the fourth grader still sometimes wants me to, if not needs me to. Judge away OP, just don’t flatter yourself I am thinking about you or your parenting at all. Couldn’t care less.

I'm curious, what does it mean that a Kindergartner "needs" you at the bus stop? Particularly with an older sib there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a parent at the bus stop. My fourth grader doesn't need me there at all. My kindergartener does though. And the fourth grader still sometimes wants me to, if not needs me to. Judge away OP, just don’t flatter yourself I am thinking about you or your parenting at all. Couldn’t care less.

I'm curious, what does it mean that a Kindergartner "needs" you at the bus stop? Particularly with an older sib there.

Since you’re “curious” they are on different buses that come a different times to the same stop - 4th grade bus comes earlier in the am and later in the pm - so kindeartener would not have a sibling always there. Also FCPS requires parent, guardian, or middle school age or higher sibling meet kindergarteners at the bus door and ask for them by name. Not a fourth grader who hasn’t even gotten to the bus stop yet. I do actually *need* to be there, no finger quotes. Sounds like the people who aren’t going to the bus stop are the ones paying more attention to this than those who do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a parent at the bus stop. My fourth grader doesn't need me there at all. My kindergartener does though. And the fourth grader still sometimes wants me to, if not needs me to. Judge away OP, just don’t flatter yourself I am thinking about you or your parenting at all. Couldn’t care less.

I'm curious, what does it mean that a Kindergartner "needs" you at the bus stop? Particularly with an older sib there.

Since you’re “curious” they are on different buses that come a different times to the same stop - 4th grade bus comes earlier in the am and later in the pm - so kindeartener would not have a sibling always there. Also FCPS requires parent, guardian, or middle school age or higher sibling meet kindergarteners at the bus door and ask for them by name. Not a fourth grader who hasn’t even gotten to the bus stop yet. I do actually *need* to be there, no finger quotes. Sounds like the people who aren’t going to the bus stop are the ones paying more attention to this than those who do.

PP here, fair enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok, I'll bite. I used to drop off and pick up my kid at the bust stop through 3rd grade. From grade 4 on, she's walking back and forth alone. However, there is a parent in our neighborhood who is putting his 7th grader on the bus. I kid you not, the guy hangs around the stop looking at this phone until the bus comes. The man is retired so he, obviously, doesn't have anything else to do, but I find this setup to be extremely weird. I mean, c'mon, you're putting a 13-year-old boy on the school bus? And no, the kid is not SN.

Our really nice neighbor (WAHM dad) usually picks up his MS aged son at the bus stop. He uses it as a break and to walk the dog, and I imagine a few minutes to chat with son about his day- before the younger two (elementary aged) get home- 45min later . I don’t see an issue with this and it seems sweet to me.

We don’t have a huge number of kids in our nabe so it isn’t “ruining the bus stop culture” or anything lol. I think we have 2 middle school kids at our stop, 7 elementary kids (including my 2). other then the kindergartner neighbor kid (parents still walk him) we are all sometimes there, sometimes not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it is bizarre. Also, these kids aren't learning basic things like how to walk down the street by themselves. Just another example of parents putting their own experience of being a parent above the needs of their children.

Agree. The bus stop shouldn’t be an opportunity for parents to socialize. It ruins the social dynamic of the kids. Bus stops are a great place for kids to be social with other kids they may not necessarily be friends with or socialize with at school, and talk candidly with each other. I have great memories of hanging out at the bus stop as a child from as early as kindergarten. Parents were never there. It was a blast. Even in bad weather, or buses running late, we had each other and made the best of it. Once in a blue moon, if it was a down pour, someone’s mom in a minivan might show up and we would all pile in. But this was a rare occurrence even for bad weather. Help your child dress appropriately and any weather shouldn’t be an issue. It is ok for them for be uncomfortable for a short time.

Who is making up all these rules? Who is to say when and where people can and should socialize? DCUM is a strange group.

+1. How bizarre. I can’t even imagine caring about whether other parents do or don’t walk their kid to the bus stop. I do on my days off, and don’t on the days I work. Who cares, really.

Because you all never leave your kids alone. They never have time to be with friends without parents around. This is very important as kids learn social skills, increase their independence, make mistakes, use critical thinking skills, and navigate the best decisions for themselves on their own. This helps them avoid becoming anxious kids/teens who need their parents for simple decisions and questions. I find it bizarre you don't realize that. I am sick of moms watching my kid like a hawk at play dates, the park, the bus stop, etc... They are old enough to be on their own and deserve time without Larla's mom telling them to be careful, let's do this instead, are you sure you are okay, etc...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it is bizarre. Also, these kids aren't learning basic things like how to walk down the street by themselves. Just another example of parents putting their own experience of being a parent above the needs of their children.

Agree. The bus stop shouldn’t be an opportunity for parents to socialize. It ruins the social dynamic of the kids. Bus stops are a great place for kids to be social with other kids they may not necessarily be friends with or socialize with at school, and talk candidly with each other. I have great memories of hanging out at the bus stop as a child from as early as kindergarten. Parents were never there. It was a blast. Even in bad weather, or buses running late, we had each other and made the best of it. Once in a blue moon, if it was a down pour, someone’s mom in a minivan might show up and we would all pile in. But this was a rare occurrence even for bad weather. Help your child dress appropriately and any weather shouldn’t be an issue. It is ok for them for be uncomfortable for a short time.

+1

It is amazing how these parents feel their socialization at the bus stop is more important than their own kid's independence and social skills.

Yes - thank you! Just said exactly what you wrote.