What is up with the parents hanging at the bus stop?

[Anonymous]

Some people work from home so if they have a chance, they like to see their kids get to school even if it's on a bus. It's also socially nice to know the other parents in the neighborhood or whose parents belong to what kid.

I only stop walking my 4th grader to school because he is comfortable walking and riding the bike on his own to school - 3 blocks. And when his buddies on the street are ready, they walk together. But, he has to cross a semi-busy 1 lane road with a stop sign-I'm not entirely comfortable with that though and this is the part other parents are not ok with.

If you ask me, those parents that are at the bus stops are the ones you can count on if you ever need a last minute pick up or emergency closing. So, i wouldn't avoid or ignore them all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you're "flustered" over this, I'm not sure you're going to survive living in the DC area. Lol.

This was my thought exactly! OP, do whatever you like and your neighbors will continue to do what they like. No one cares, and even if they do, so what.

Good lord, yes. Nobody cares. They are there because they have the time and probably want to socialize. You don't have to do this if you don't want to. Send your 5th grader alone and don't worry about it.

How come in the 70/80's when the majority of moms were SAHM - none of them were at the bus stops, morning or afternoon. Did they not have time? Did they not want to socialize? Maybe they just felt their kids were able to do and it was the kid's thing. Not a parent socialization thing? I walked home from K half day with 3 other K students. I remember always planning our afternoon before the big kids came home. We would eat lunch when we got home and talked about our day. Then we would meet back outside to play horse stables on the fence or bike in the cul de sac before the big kids took over playing stick ball.

LOL. The whole point is that when they were all SAHMs, they had ALL DAY to socialize with each other, so there was no need to drag themselves to the bus stop each morning for a quick chat before work.

To me, this whole thread feels like "Made Up Drama". Different people like different things and for different reasons.

For example, some parents like to see each other in the mornings before starting their days, others are not interested in that. Some who choose to go see each other at the bus stop enjoy light chit-chat and a light level of connection, while others end up having some more substantive conversations that help create their more "real" friendships.

Why not just do what works for you, and stop judging others do what works for them? Live and let live, baby!

I think the whole thread is about how selfish parents are. Let your kids go to school and stop either helicoptering or socializing near them. Let them have their own time. Go walk dogs together elsewhere if you feel the need to see your neighbors every single morning.

Yup. Showboating at it’s finest. Our parents didn’t do this. Our generation is suffocating and ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents walk 10-13 year olds in from the parking lot at our school. You can drop them off at the door and drive on. It’s insane.

No, it’s not insane. This may be shocking to you but there are actually parents out there who enjoy spending time with their kids! Yes, completely crazy!

Also, many parents have crazy schedules and the relaxed walk to school with their kids is the best part of their day.

Not the walk to school. PP is saying they park the car and escort their celebrity child to the door from the parking lot.

PP here. Yes, they walk the children from the car to the classroom. Literally. And there is a drop off point. I spend countless hours with my kids and I don’t need to make a show of it by walking them to their desks to make sure everyone knows I’m mom of the year. I promise you they are getting the royal treatment at home.

our principal had to send out a letter basically telling all the moms to stop coming up to front door of the school morning and afternoon. They literally start congregating and chatting 15min before dismissal. In the morning, they walk all the way up, sometimes go inside, and again hang out and chat in front of the main doors or the lobby of the school. She posted a PDF of drop off points at the curb. These parents are clueless how annoying they are.

[Anonymous]

Our stop has 30 kids, most of them second grade or younger, so yeah, there's a lot of parents. Several of us do work from home and we do chat in the morning. Life is busy, this is time we know we'll be able to chat. It's nice.

Once my kid hits 4th grade or so I think she'll walk on her own. It's only about 8 townhouses away, and we can see the stop from our house. She does walk home by herself after school (with a small group who come home on the bus and walk this way).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it is bizarre. Also, these kids aren't learning basic things like how to walk down the street by themselves. Just another example of parents putting their own experience of being a parent above the needs of their children.

Agree. The bus stop shouldn’t be an opportunity for parents to socialize. It ruins the social dynamic of the kids. Bus stops are a great place for kids to be social with other kids they may not necessarily be friends with or socialize with at school, and talk candidly with each other. I have great memories of hanging out at the bus stop as a child from as early as kindergarten. Parents were never there. It was a blast. Even in bad weather, or buses running late, we had each other and made the best of it. Once in a blue moon, if it was a down pour, someone’s mom in a minivan might show up and we would all pile in. But this was a rare occurrence even for bad weather. Help your child dress appropriately and any weather shouldn’t be an issue. It is ok for them for be uncomfortable for a short time.

+1

It is amazing how these parents feel their socialization at the bus stop is more important than their own kid's independence and social skills.

YES TO THIS!!!!!!

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it is bizarre. Also, these kids aren't learning basic things like how to walk down the street by themselves. Just another example of parents putting their own experience of being a parent above the needs of their children.

Agree. The bus stop shouldn’t be an opportunity for parents to socialize. It ruins the social dynamic of the kids. Bus stops are a great place for kids to be social with other kids they may not necessarily be friends with or socialize with at school, and talk candidly with each other. I have great memories of hanging out at the bus stop as a child from as early as kindergarten. Parents were never there. It was a blast. Even in bad weather, or buses running late, we had each other and made the best of it. Once in a blue moon, if it was a down pour, someone’s mom in a minivan might show up and we would all pile in. But this was a rare occurrence even for bad weather. Help your child dress appropriately and any weather shouldn’t be an issue. It is ok for them for be uncomfortable for a short time.

+1

It is amazing how these parents feel their socialization at the bus stop is more important than their own kid's independence and social skills.

YES TO THIS!!!!!!

+1

Agree. I remember reading an article about how shocked kids are when they watch old movies and shows.

Ralph is and Randy can walk to school without their mom? It is cold. Why aren’t they driven to school or idle in a minivan? There is snow on the ground. School should be cancelled.

Elliott can stay home sick alone? He and his friends can bike without a parent?

I can’t remember them all, but it was hilarious and eye opening how clingy we are to our kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our stop has 30 kids, most of them second grade or younger, so yeah, there's a lot of parents. Several of us do work from home and we do chat in the morning. Life is busy, this is time we know we'll be able to chat. It's nice.

Once my kid hits 4th grade or so I think she'll walk on her own. It's only about 8 townhouses away, and we can see the stop from our house. She does walk home by herself after school (with a small group who come home on the bus and walk this way).

What do all the parents think are going to happen to the 30 kids standing at a bus stop in a townhouse community in eye sight, that warrants 30 parents to be out there. The other childless neighbors must hate that stop.

[Anonymous]

Our bus stop only has 3 kids - my daughter (5th grade) and two 1st-graders. The other two kids don't always show up, so it's hard to tell when you get there if you've missed the bus or if it hasn't come yet. So i always hang out until it gets there, then I continue on to work. I drive her there because it's 4 blocks from our house, and it's the direction I'd go to work anyway.

I wouldn't want to leave my daughter there and have something happen and have her either miss school or walk there. (We've had a couple of times when the bus got into an accident or broke down and didn't show.) School is 1.8 miles away, and she'd have to cross a couple of really major roads and we're not quite there yet.

[Anonymous]

I think people draw way too many conclusions and make way too many assumptions about WHY people are taking the kids to the bus stop. We let our kids walk to park or friends' houses whenever they want, can take public buses or metro downtown by themselves starting at 11 or 12. I don't think we helicopter much, because I really don't have the time or energy.

But one of us still walks the third grader to the bus every morning. We both work long days and this is a nic.e time in the morning to connect -- she is usually in a good mood then and we chit chat on the way to the bus and she holds our hands and giggles. It's nice.

So don't assume that just because some one walks their kids to the bus, it means that they are helicopter parents that can't let go. Sometimes it just means that they like to take a 5 minute walk with their kid in the morning. And it doesn't have to be about you and whether that makes you feel insecure and judged for not doing the same. I'm not judging you -- I'm just spending 5 minutes with my kid, and maybe saying hi to some neighbors, and I assume that you also do both those things at some point during your day. We're all doing what works for our families, maybe we can all just judge less?

[Anonymous]

We live in a very busy urban neighborhood. Commuters cut through on our street, don't stop at stop signs, and fly around corners while trying to race to work on time, delivery drivers double park and block crosswalks, etc., etc. Complete disregard for those who actually live here. My 3rd grader doesn't walk anywhere on his own yet. No way. When out walking, I have close calls with drivers on a pretty regular basis. So, I walk my kid because of careless drivers. If some ridiculous, "free range" parent wants to criticize, feel free but it isn't going to stop me from walking him.

[Anonymous]

Schools are community-based, our community is our neighborhood, I don’t understand what the problem is with wanting to socialize with your community members or neighbors. What I think is there a lot of uptight people here who self impose social rules that make zero sense. If do you want your kid to go to the bus stop on their own, then do it if you want to go and say hello do that.

[Anonymous]

I am amazed how many kids really and truly don’t know the other kids in their neighborhood and can not connect with kids socially. The parents make it about them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you're "flustered" over this, I'm not sure you're going to survive living in the DC area. Lol.

This was my thought exactly! OP, do whatever you like and your neighbors will continue to do what they like. No one cares, and even if they do, so what.

Good lord, yes. Nobody cares. They are there because they have the time and probably want to socialize. You don't have to do this if you don't want to. Send your 5th grader alone and don't worry about it.

How come in the 70/80's when the majority of moms were SAHM - none of them were at the bus stops, morning or afternoon. Did they not have time? Did they not want to socialize? Maybe they just felt their kids were able to do and it was the kid's thing. Not a parent socialization thing? I walked home from K half day with 3 other K students. I remember always planning our afternoon before the big kids came home. We would eat lunch when we got home and talked about our day. Then we would meet back outside to play horse stables on the fence or bike in the cul de sac before the big kids took over playing stick ball.

LOL. The whole point is that when they were all SAHMs, they had ALL DAY to socialize with each other, so there was no need to drag themselves to the bus stop each morning for a quick chat before work.

To me, this whole thread feels like "Made Up Drama". Different people like different things and for different reasons.

For example, some parents like to see each other in the mornings before starting their days, others are not interested in that. Some who choose to go see each other at the bus stop enjoy light chit-chat and a light level of connection, while others end up having some more substantive conversations that help create their more "real" friendships.

Why not just do what works for you, and stop judging others do what works for them? Live and let live, baby!

I think the whole thread is about how selfish parents are. Let your kids go to school and stop either helicoptering or socializing near them. Let them have their own time. Go walk dogs together elsewhere if you feel the need to see your neighbors every single morning.

It is now selfish to walk your child to the bus stop? How did that happen? Usually we are advocating more time with our kids, outdoor time, exercise..all those things are accomplished on a walk to school or the bus stop. You will be relieved to know that my kids who were walked to bus stop as little kids are very independent teens. We also have wonderful friends in the neighborhood that have been invaluable to us over years...because we met at the bus stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Schools are community-based, our community is our neighborhood, I don’t understand what the problem is with wanting to socialize with your community members or neighbors. What I think is there a lot of uptight people here who self impose social rules that make zero sense. If do you want your kid to go to the bus stop on their own, then do it if you want to go and say hello do that.

Exactly. So much angst over bus stop routines.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it is bizarre. Also, these kids aren't learning basic things like how to walk down the street by themselves. Just another example of parents putting their own experience of being a parent above the needs of their children.

Agree. The bus stop shouldn’t be an opportunity for parents to socialize. It ruins the social dynamic of the kids. Bus stops are a great place for kids to be social with other kids they may not necessarily be friends with or socialize with at school, and talk candidly with each other. I have great memories of hanging out at the bus stop as a child from as early as kindergarten. Parents were never there. It was a blast. Even in bad weather, or buses running late, we had each other and made the best of it. Once in a blue moon, if it was a down pour, someone’s mom in a minivan might show up and we would all pile in. But this was a rare occurrence even for bad weather. Help your child dress appropriately and any weather shouldn’t be an issue. It is ok for them for be uncomfortable for a short time.

+1

It is amazing how these parents feel their socialization at the bus stop is more important than their own kid's independence and social skills.

YES TO THIS!!!!!!

+1

Agree. I remember reading an article about how shocked kids are when they watch old movies and shows.

Ralph is and Randy can walk to school without their mom? It is cold. Why aren’t they driven to school or idle in a minivan? There is snow on the ground. School should be cancelled.

Elliott can stay home sick alone? He and his friends can bike without a parent?

I can’t remember them all, but it was hilarious and eye opening how clingy we are to our kids.

Ha, my kids watch the Kid's baking shows and I realized how little I let them do in the kitchen. My 10yr old now makes us dinner. It is awesome.