What is up with the parents hanging at the bus stop?

[Anonymous]

Why are they all there? We just moved from PA and my kids take the bus to school. We live in a SFH neighborhood with no busy streets and multiple bus stops. I did a dry run of the stops to see which stop was the closest to us. Two are almost equal and both about 10 houses away. One off a corner, one the long way up our street. I walked my kids up the first day and was surprised that there were more parents at the stop than children. I mean like married couples with one kid. All just waiting for the bus. This was last week. Is this a thing in Maryland that parents have to sit at the bus stops with their kids? My kids are 3rd and 5th and this was their third year walking to the bus stop alone and this stop is even closer than our old homes. Will people judge me if I just send the kids? I mean they seem nice, but it is nonsense chatter and gossip and I work from home and the morning is my busiest. The kids don't want me walking them because they feel like they're babies and want to make friends. But literally every kid at the stop has 1-2 parents. Even the bus patrol kid who is an only child. She takes him in her car and then drives back home. Same for the afternoon. I am honestly flustered. This is really bizarre, isn't it?

[Anonymous]

Former PA resident here and I totally agree with everything you said!
But since you have a fifth grader, no one will think it’s weird that they walk alone.

[Anonymous]

You are flustered because you are not used to more involved parenting and feel you might be judged for continuing your perfectly legitimate parenting.

Don't criticize these parents for having the free time and desire to socialize. I am the only adult to stick around at the bus stop, and am the one who calls the bus depot when the bus is running late, so that I can reassure kids who start getting anxious.

I doubt you'll get judged, but it would be diplomatic to introduce yourself, or at least smile warmly and greet the adults. If you say you just moved here, they will welcome you. If you say your mornings are really busy, and that you will be sending your kids alone in the future, they will understand.

These types of little social issues can always be solved by COMMUNICATION.

[Anonymous]

I think it's a social thing. There aren't many opportunities to make connections and the bus stop is a good one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's a social thing. There aren't many opportunities to make connections and the bus stop is a good one.

100%.

At our school the same thing happens at the school (no buses). Parents hang around or even walk their kids to school because it's a good way to catch up with other parents. Half the time the kids run ahead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
You are flustered because you are not used to more involved parenting and feel you might be judged for continuing your perfectly legitimate parenting.

Don't criticize these parents for having the free time and desire to socialize. I am the only adult to stick around at the bus stop, and am the one who calls the bus depot when the bus is running late, so that I can reassure kids who start getting anxious.

I doubt you'll get judged, but it would be diplomatic to introduce yourself, or at least smile warmly and greet the adults. If you say you just moved here, they will welcome you. If you say your mornings are really busy, and that you will be sending your kids alone in the future, they will understand.

These types of little social issues can always be solved by COMMUNICATION.

LOL Are you kidding me with your subtle jabs? Why can't one of the kids whose house is closest to the bus stop walk back and ask a family member to call the school on the very rare chance a bus is late? Do they all just sit there and cry unless you are there to "save" them all. Give me a break lady. I bet not one parent was at your bus stop growing up and there were no cell phones either. I don't think any kids died or sat on the neighborhood corner looking anxious and needing reassuring if a bus was late.

And did the OP say she didn't introduce herself or smile at these people? Just another jab. I wouldn't go to the bus stop with my kids just to avoid judgey helicopter moms like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
You are flustered because you are not used to more involved parenting and feel you might be judged for continuing your perfectly legitimate parenting.

Don't criticize these parents for having the free time and desire to socialize. I am the only adult to stick around at the bus stop, and am the one who calls the bus depot when the bus is running late, so that I can reassure kids who start getting anxious.

I doubt you'll get judged, but it would be diplomatic to introduce yourself, or at least smile warmly and greet the adults. If you say you just moved here, they will welcome you. If you say your mornings are really busy, and that you will be sending your kids alone in the future, they will understand.

These types of little social issues can always be solved by COMMUNICATION.

You are the only adult to stick around because the other adults can't stand you.

[Anonymous]

PPs from PA - can you do an AMA on "trunk and treat"? I don't get that...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are they all there? We just moved from PA and my kids take the bus to school. We live in a SFH neighborhood with no busy streets and multiple bus stops. I did a dry run of the stops to see which stop was the closest to us. Two are almost equal and both about 10 houses away. One off a corner, one the long way up our street. I walked my kids up the first day and was surprised that there were more parents at the stop than children. I mean like married couples with one kid. All just waiting for the bus. This was last week. Is this a thing in Maryland that parents have to sit at the bus stops with their kids? My kids are 3rd and 5th and this was their third year walking to the bus stop alone and this stop is even closer than our old homes. Will people judge me if I just send the kids? I mean they seem nice, but it is nonsense chatter and gossip and I work from home and the morning is my busiest. The kids don't want me walking them because they feel like they're babies and want to make friends. But literally every kid at the stop has 1-2 parents. Even the bus patrol kid who is an only child. She takes him in her car and then drives back home. Same for the afternoon. I am honestly flustered. This is really bizarre, isn't it?

NP I find it interesting that you are worried about parents judging you when you are the one judging them. Why do you care that parents like "nonsense chatter?" and "gossip?" One person's nonsense is another person's conversation as in friendly conversation.

If I were you I would let the kids walk to the bus stop by themselves because it works for you, not because someone might judge you.

Btw, you should work on less judgement yourself.

[Anonymous]

OP, if you're "flustered" over this, I'm not sure you're going to survive living in the DC area. Lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
You are flustered because you are not used to more involved parenting and feel you might be judged for continuing your perfectly legitimate parenting.

Don't criticize these parents for having the free time and desire to socialize. I am the only adult to stick around at the bus stop, and am the one who calls the bus depot when the bus is running late, so that I can reassure kids who start getting anxious.

I doubt you'll get judged, but it would be diplomatic to introduce yourself, or at least smile warmly and greet the adults. If you say you just moved here, they will welcome you. If you say your mornings are really busy, and that you will be sending your kids alone in the future, they will understand.

These types of little social issues can always be solved by COMMUNICATION.

This hovering isn't necessary, IMO. It's a missed opportunity for the kids to develop some resourcefulness on their own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
You are flustered because you are not used to more involved parenting and feel you might be judged for continuing your perfectly legitimate parenting.

Don't criticize these parents for having the free time and desire to socialize. I am the only adult to stick around at the bus stop, and am the one who calls the bus depot when the bus is running late, so that I can reassure kids who start getting anxious.

I doubt you'll get judged, but it would be diplomatic to introduce yourself, or at least smile warmly and greet the adults. If you say you just moved here, they will welcome you. If you say your mornings are really busy, and that you will be sending your kids alone in the future, they will understand.

These types of little social issues can always be solved by COMMUNICATION.

Helicopter parents abound here OP. Example A.

Welcome from one PA person to another!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you're "flustered" over this, I'm not sure you're going to survive living in the DC area. Lol.

This was my thought exactly! OP, do whatever you like and your neighbors will continue to do what they like. No one cares, and even if they do, so what.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are they all there? We just moved from PA and my kids take the bus to school. We live in a SFH neighborhood with no busy streets and multiple bus stops. I did a dry run of the stops to see which stop was the closest to us. Two are almost equal and both about 10 houses away. One off a corner, one the long way up our street. I walked my kids up the first day and was surprised that there were more parents at the stop than children. I mean like married couples with one kid. All just waiting for the bus. This was last week. Is this a thing in Maryland that parents have to sit at the bus stops with their kids? My kids are 3rd and 5th and this was their third year walking to the bus stop alone and this stop is even closer than our old homes. Will people judge me if I just send the kids? I mean they seem nice, but it is nonsense chatter and gossip and I work from home and the morning is my busiest. The kids don't want me walking them because they feel like they're babies and want to make friends. But literally every kid at the stop has 1-2 parents. Even the bus patrol kid who is an only child. She takes him in her car and then drives back home. Same for the afternoon. I am honestly flustered. This is really bizarre, isn't it?

Are you really asking if others will judge you when you are so judgmental of others? You know full well that it isn’t “a thing” that parents have to wait with kids. Do it or don’t but stop being so mean. Also, if you walked your kid “the first day” how do you know all this? How do you know that the parentS with one kid who is bus patrol has parents that go everyday? How do you know what they talk about? How do you know someone picks a kid up and drives him home daily?

- signed someone whose kid doesn’t even ride a bus

[Anonymous]

I still have a great friend group from my kids bus stop. I met them when my oldest was in K. My youngest is now a senior in HS. I was not there everyday as my kids got older but why would anyone care that we went to the bus stop and chatted. Honestly it is helpful the have a parent there at times. Keep the kids off people's lawns. Spot the late kid running and alert the driver. Notice the backpack that was left on the ground. Would anyone have died without us..no