What is up with the parents hanging at the bus stop?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree it's a social thing. And, well, it's fun to send off or greet our kids! And to the poster who suggested these parents are helicopter parents whose kids won't learn to walk down the sidewalk by themselves...I don't think it necessarily follows that parents who walk their kids to the bus stop never give them freedom, etc. At least, that's not how it happens in our neighborhood (kids running around all the time unsupervised all the time - we feel ok with it because we know our neighbors!).

+1

[Anonymous]

OP, welcome to the area. I’m going to give you some critical DMV advice:

Everyone judges everyone here.
Everyone is from somewhere else and the newbies take every opportunity to point out how much better their former town is (the food, the traffic, the weather, etc.)
MoCo schools might call a snow day despite only flurries on your street.
Halloween is celebrated on October 31st every year, no matter what.

[Anonymous]

I thought it was weird at first (and I grew up less than a mile from where I now live in MD). We never had parents at the bust stop when I was a kid, even kindergarteners. But then I got used to it and when our new neighbors sent their 2nd and 4th grader to the bus stop on their own I was surprised. Then I was like "right, yeah, of course they can do this."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You are flustered because you are not used to more involved parenting and feel you might be judged for continuing your perfectly legitimate parenting.

Don't criticize these parents for having the free time and desire to socialize. I am the only adult to stick around at the bus stop, and am the one who calls the bus depot when the bus is running late, so that I can reassure kids who start getting anxious.

I doubt you'll get judged, but it would be diplomatic to introduce yourself, or at least smile warmly and greet the adults. If you say you just moved here, they will welcome you. If you say your mornings are really busy, and that you will be sending your kids alone in the future, they will understand.

These types of little social issues can always be solved by COMMUNICATION.

Helicopter parents abound here OP. Example A.

Welcome from one PA person to another!

+1

Hilarious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd rather have the hoard of standing parents at the bus stop vs. the hoard of minivans that congregate on rainy, cold, or snowy days.

Why ONE parent can't be designated the "holding" van instead of each kid needing their own van is beyond me (and then rotate it). The other morning when we had our first frost and it was in the 30s, 10 minivans were lined at the bus stop on each side, totally illegally parked as well, and made it so difficult to make a right or left out of our neighborhood.

THIS!! This is not a "I like talking to other moms" situation. This is a coddling situation.

And for what it is worth, I don't like either situation. Kids actually need independence and autonomy. If you want a morning social hour, go off and get coffee or go do yoga together. There are parents at the middle school bus stop here. Just no.

I had a mom creepily ride slowly back in her minivan once I started letting my daughter walk home alone. She did this 3 days in a row. My DD hated it and came in, in a puff all 3 days. I sent her a text saying thanks, but DD doesn't like it and she asked and is fine walking home on her own. She sent me back a long text about how she was worried about her. She is 9 and it is maybe 7 houses away. The fear mongering and I love my kids more than yours, is aggressive in the metro suburbs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You are flustered because you are not used to more involved parenting and feel you might be judged for continuing your perfectly legitimate parenting.

Don't criticize these parents for having the free time and desire to socialize. I am the only adult to stick around at the bus stop, and am the one who calls the bus depot when the bus is running late, so that I can reassure kids who start getting anxious.

I doubt you'll get judged, but it would be diplomatic to introduce yourself, or at least smile warmly and greet the adults. If you say you just moved here, they will welcome you. If you say your mornings are really busy, and that you will be sending your kids alone in the future, they will understand.

These types of little social issues can always be solved by COMMUNICATION.

Helicopter parents abound here OP. Example A.

Welcome from one PA person to another!

So true! I am from Connecticut and we sent our kids out to the the bus stop in the snow. See ya!! Here, all the parents actually drive their precious kids to the bus stop. Yes, they turn their car on, heat it up, drive up the street and idle their toxic fumes at the bus stop in front of the handful of actual walkers until the bus comes, and then turns their car back around and go home! Precious only has to be in the cold for 4.3 seconds that way.

OP, they actually close schools here if there are flurries or if it is too cold. Yes, just cold weather! It is insane. A whole new world of suffocating parents.
Find some transplant families like yourself. They are much more laid back.

Everyone is a transplant here, PP. Hate to break it to you, but you are not unique.

OP, these are the kind of moms you will run into at the bust stop. Do yourself a favor and stay warm this winter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd rather have the hoard of standing parents at the bus stop vs. the hoard of minivans that congregate on rainy, cold, or snowy days.

Why ONE parent can't be designated the "holding" van instead of each kid needing their own van is beyond me (and then rotate it). The other morning when we had our first frost and it was in the 30s, 10 minivans were lined at the bus stop on each side, totally illegally parked as well, and made it so difficult to make a right or left out of our neighborhood.

THIS!! This is not a "I like talking to other moms" situation. This is a coddling situation.

And for what it is worth, I don't like either situation. Kids actually need independence and autonomy. If you want a morning social hour, go off and get coffee or go do yoga together. There are parents at the middle school bus stop here. Just no.

I had a mom creepily ride slowly back in her minivan once I started letting my daughter walk home alone. She did this 3 days in a row. My DD hated it and came in, in a puff all 3 days. I sent her a text saying thanks, but DD doesn't like it and she asked and is fine walking home on her own. She sent me back a long text about how she was worried about her. She is 9 and it is maybe 7 houses away. The fear mongering and I love my kids more than yours, is aggressive in the metro suburbs.

Yikes, sounds like it! Completely foreign to me--we live in DC and there are no school buses for public schools.

[Anonymous]

A lot of my neighbors combine these bus stop run with walking the dog, from what I have seen.

Sometimes I walk my kids, sometimes not. I like to chat with neighbors but not every day.

I don’t see why anyone care what other people do- aside from the complaints about lots of parking and idling (that would annoy me too) or blocking the street

[Anonymous]

What kind of anti-social person are you that you just moved here yet have no interest in getting to know your immediate neighbors? The families your kids go to school with? Community is dead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd rather have the hoard of standing parents at the bus stop vs. the hoard of minivans that congregate on rainy, cold, or snowy days.

Why ONE parent can't be designated the "holding" van instead of each kid needing their own van is beyond me (and then rotate it). The other morning when we had our first frost and it was in the 30s, 10 minivans were lined at the bus stop on each side, totally illegally parked as well, and made it so difficult to make a right or left out of our neighborhood.

THIS!! This is not a "I like talking to other moms" situation. This is a coddling situation.

And for what it is worth, I don't like either situation. Kids actually need independence and autonomy. If you want a morning social hour, go off and get coffee or go do yoga together. There are parents at the middle school bus stop here. Just no.

I had a mom creepily ride slowly back in her minivan once I started letting my daughter walk home alone. She did this 3 days in a row. My DD hated it and came in, in a puff all 3 days. I sent her a text saying thanks, but DD doesn't like it and she asked and is fine walking home on her own. She sent me back a long text about how she was worried about her. She is 9 and it is maybe 7 houses away. The fear mongering and I love my kids more than yours, is aggressive in the metro suburbs.

I live in a warm weather state, and admit that I chat with neighbors in the morning, but I also make my kid bike home in the rain. Got her a poncho, said a little water won't kill you, throw that thing on and come on home, and no I'm not coming to get you! If a parent did that to my kid I'd let her know I consider that stalking. That is beyond creepy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What kind of anti-social person are you that you just moved here yet have no interest in getting to know your immediate neighbors? The families your kids go to school with? Community is dead.

She said she works from home and the mornings are her busiest. Should she sacrifice her job to talk gossip for 15 or so minutes? My ES kids go to school so late now, thanks to the whiny high schoolers wanting more sleep. They don't even get picked up until 9:00am from our bus stop. That is leaving around 8:50am and getting back at 9:10am. That may not be feasible for a WOHM. We relocate every 2-3 years and this last move was the only time, no one in the neighborhood came to introduce themselves after we moved in. There is no community here. The bus stop moms aren't the ones looking to be friendly with others. It is a negative bunch. Her showing up to play the game instead of working, when her kids can clearly walk on their own - is the problem. You are guilting her into being like this. It is ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

hmm, we live in the suburbs and no one does this in our neighborhood. my 3rd and 5th graders would be absolutely humiliated if I walked to the bus stop with them and stood there, waiting for the bus.

[Anonymous]

It’s a good way to meet your neighbors and find out what is going on at school. If you don’t want to go don’t, but it’s pretty common in my neighborhood for people to go periodically to check-in. And yes, we all work, and there is about the same number of moms as dads at the bus stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of anti-social person are you that you just moved here yet have no interest in getting to know your immediate neighbors? The families your kids go to school with? Community is dead.

She said she works from home and the mornings are her busiest. Should she sacrifice her job to talk gossip for 15 or so minutes? My ES kids go to school so late now, thanks to the whiny high schoolers wanting more sleep. They don't even get picked up until 9:00am from our bus stop. That is leaving around 8:50am and getting back at 9:10am. That may not be feasible for a WOHM. We relocate every 2-3 years and this last move was the only time, no one in the neighborhood came to introduce themselves after we moved in. There is no community here. The bus stop moms aren't the ones looking to be friendly with others. It is a negative bunch. Her showing up to play the game instead of working, when her kids can clearly walk on their own - is the problem. You are guilting her into being like this. It is ridiculous.

You're very ignorant....
http://theconversation.com/why-teen-brains-need-a-later-school-start-time-65308

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of anti-social person are you that you just moved here yet have no interest in getting to know your immediate neighbors? The families your kids go to school with? Community is dead.

She said she works from home and the mornings are her busiest. Should she sacrifice her job to talk gossip for 15 or so minutes? My ES kids go to school so late now, thanks to the whiny high schoolers wanting more sleep. They don't even get picked up until 9:00am from our bus stop. That is leaving around 8:50am and getting back at 9:10am. That may not be feasible for a WOHM. We relocate every 2-3 years and this last move was the only time, no one in the neighborhood came to introduce themselves after we moved in. There is no community here. The bus stop moms aren't the ones looking to be friendly with others. It is a negative bunch. Her showing up to play the game instead of working, when her kids can clearly walk on their own - is the problem. You are guilting her into being like this. It is ridiculous.

You're very ignorant....
http://theconversation.com/why-teen-brains-need-a-later-school-start-time-65308

Well starting next week, my ES kids are walking home from the bus stop in the dark so the teens can go 20min later to school. They have ZERO chance to play outside after school as they don't get off the bus until 4:43pm and that is when the sun is setting after Fall Back. It sucks.