What is up with the parents hanging at the bus stop?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:hmm, we live in the suburbs and no one does this in our neighborhood. my 3rd and 5th graders would be absolutely humiliated if I walked to the bus stop with them and stood there, waiting for the bus.

Yeah, it is sad that this has become a normal thing. Look at this mom.

https://yourteenmag.com/family-life/communication/waiting-at-the-bus-stop

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of anti-social person are you that you just moved here yet have no interest in getting to know your immediate neighbors? The families your kids go to school with? Community is dead.

She said she works from home and the mornings are her busiest. Should she sacrifice her job to talk gossip for 15 or so minutes? My ES kids go to school so late now, thanks to the whiny high schoolers wanting more sleep. They don't even get picked up until 9:00am from our bus stop. That is leaving around 8:50am and getting back at 9:10am. That may not be feasible for a WOHM. We relocate every 2-3 years and this last move was the only time, no one in the neighborhood came to introduce themselves after we moved in. There is no community here. The bus stop moms aren't the ones looking to be friendly with others. It is a negative bunch. Her showing up to play the game instead of working, when her kids can clearly walk on their own - is the problem. You are guilting her into being like this. It is ridiculous.

OK crazy lady. (a) OP didn't even tell us what time it is and (b) you don't know these people, you don't know if they're nice or mean or playing a game.

I'm the WOHM who typically takes my kid to SACC, but the handful of times I've taken her to the bus stops, the moms that I don't know, most of whom are presumably SAHMs (because our bus also picks up at 8:50am) have been perfectly nice.

[Anonymous]

My approach with other parents at the bus stop when my kids were in grade school was to wave and smile, but to keep my distance. Once my kid was on the bus, I was already walking home. I'm a SAHM.

The hyper-competitive parenting in this area is way over the top. You have to decide to what extent you will participate in it vs. tune it out. I tuned it out. Still do.

OP, you do not owe an explanation to anyone at the bus stop. You do you, and what works for your family. My kids were walking home from the bus stop in 3rd-4th grade. Your kids are old enough to walk home from the bus stop.

[Anonymous]

OP I'm guessing your disdain for these bus stop parents will be on par with the hurt feelings you'll have when these neighbors and peers forget to include you in backyard bbqs and parents' nights outs. My youngest and only one still home is now in private and I miss the conviviality of parents seeking a few minutes of sweetness to start both their kids and our own days. Sure-some kids and parents are closed little bubbles but majority are just taking 10-15 m to start the day off together. If you actually stood at the bus stop (and don't worry NO ONE cares if you do or don't!) you'd see mostly kids are playing w/each other and adults are sharing news of school and neighborhood. I'd match the enthusiasm of my kids need for good byes- meaning the intense waves my young ones wanted and maybe just a meaningful catch of the eye for a 5th grader headed into take a test they were nervous about. After bus leaves-some days I might have time for a walk but most often it was back to work (I am 100% work at home.)

I've made some great friends at the bus stop, hired one pt employee I met there and build my work network too. Deciding to go private meant losing that easy 'see people time' and it truly was weighed in as a pro public/negative private decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of anti-social person are you that you just moved here yet have no interest in getting to know your immediate neighbors? The families your kids go to school with? Community is dead.

She said she works from home and the mornings are her busiest. Should she sacrifice her job to talk gossip for 15 or so minutes? My ES kids go to school so late now, thanks to the whiny high schoolers wanting more sleep. They don't even get picked up until 9:00am from our bus stop. That is leaving around 8:50am and getting back at 9:10am. That may not be feasible for a WOHM. We relocate every 2-3 years and this last move was the only time, no one in the neighborhood came to introduce themselves after we moved in. There is no community here. The bus stop moms aren't the ones looking to be friendly with others. It is a negative bunch. Her showing up to play the game instead of working, when her kids can clearly walk on their own - is the problem. You are guilting her into being like this. It is ridiculous.

You're very ignorant....
http://theconversation.com/why-teen-brains-need-a-later-school-start-time-65308

Well starting next week, my ES kids are walking home from the bus stop in the dark so the teens can go 20min later to school. They have ZERO chance to play outside after school as they don't get off the bus until 4:43pm and that is when the sun is setting after Fall Back. It sucks.

I'm assuming you live in Fairfax County and I'll tell you that your kids starting school at 9:20 have nothing to do with the high schools starting later, and everything to do with how HUGE the county is and the limited number of busses. The elementary schools start anywhere between 8:00 and 9:20, and it's because of busses. The middle school bus for our neighborhood comes at 7:40. No idea when the high school bus comes.

Or feel free to move out to Loudon where the elementary bus comes at 6:45am. My 3 year old is still asleep at 6:45.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of anti-social person are you that you just moved here yet have no interest in getting to know your immediate neighbors? The families your kids go to school with? Community is dead.

She said she works from home and the mornings are her busiest. Should she sacrifice her job to talk gossip for 15 or so minutes? My ES kids go to school so late now, thanks to the whiny high schoolers wanting more sleep. They don't even get picked up until 9:00am from our bus stop. That is leaving around 8:50am and getting back at 9:10am. That may not be feasible for a WOHM. We relocate every 2-3 years and this last move was the only time, no one in the neighborhood came to introduce themselves after we moved in. There is no community here. The bus stop moms aren't the ones looking to be friendly with others. It is a negative bunch. Her showing up to play the game instead of working, when her kids can clearly walk on their own - is the problem. You are guilting her into being like this. It is ridiculous.

You're very ignorant....
http://theconversation.com/why-teen-brains-need-a-later-school-start-time-65308

Well starting next week, my ES kids are walking home from the bus stop in the dark so the teens can go 20min later to school. They have ZERO chance to play outside after school as they don't get off the bus until 4:43pm and that is when the sun is setting after Fall Back. It sucks.

dp Some day your elementary kids will be those whiny high school kids and then you will be grateful that they are allowed a few extra hours of sleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd rather have the hoard of standing parents at the bus stop vs. the hoard of minivans that congregate on rainy, cold, or snowy days.

Why ONE parent can't be designated the "holding" van instead of each kid needing their own van is beyond me (and then rotate it). The other morning when we had our first frost and it was in the 30s, 10 minivans were lined at the bus stop on each side, totally illegally parked as well, and made it so difficult to make a right or left out of our neighborhood.

THIS!! This is not a "I like talking to other moms" situation. This is a coddling situation.

And for what it is worth, I don't like either situation. Kids actually need independence and autonomy. If you want a morning social hour, go off and get coffee or go do yoga together. There are parents at the middle school bus stop here. Just no.

I had a mom creepily ride slowly back in her minivan once I started letting my daughter walk home alone. She did this 3 days in a row. My DD hated it and came in, in a puff all 3 days. I sent her a text saying thanks, but DD doesn't like it and she asked and is fine walking home on her own. She sent me back a long text about how she was worried about her. She is 9 and it is maybe 7 houses away. The fear mongering and I love my kids more than yours, is aggressive in the metro suburbs.

+1

Usually the parents of troubled kids stir that pot hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of anti-social person are you that you just moved here yet have no interest in getting to know your immediate neighbors? The families your kids go to school with? Community is dead.

She said she works from home and the mornings are her busiest. Should she sacrifice her job to talk gossip for 15 or so minutes? My ES kids go to school so late now, thanks to the whiny high schoolers wanting more sleep. They don't even get picked up until 9:00am from our bus stop. That is leaving around 8:50am and getting back at 9:10am. That may not be feasible for a WOHM. We relocate every 2-3 years and this last move was the only time, no one in the neighborhood came to introduce themselves after we moved in. There is no community here. The bus stop moms aren't the ones looking to be friendly with others. It is a negative bunch. Her showing up to play the game instead of working, when her kids can clearly walk on their own - is the problem. You are guilting her into being like this. It is ridiculous.

You're very ignorant....
http://theconversation.com/why-teen-brains-need-a-later-school-start-time-65308

Well starting next week, my ES kids are walking home from the bus stop in the dark so the teens can go 20min later to school. They have ZERO chance to play outside after school as they don't get off the bus until 4:43pm and that is when the sun is setting after Fall Back. It sucks.

You'll be complaining when your kids are in high school about how they're so tired all the time. Take your kids out to play in the morning since you appear to have plenty of time then.

[Anonymous]

We have a psycho SAHM who thinks the bus stop is her personal fiefdom. She constantly complains that the parents/kids she doesn’t like linger too long, and sets up chairs and treats for the parents/kids she does like. But as I mentioned: SAHM and psycho.

[Anonymous]

she sets up chairs! lol!

[Anonymous]

I stop to talk to the neighbors at the bus stop on my way to the metro sometimes. I suppose that might make it look like there are multiple adults waiting with a single kid.

[Anonymous]

The last thing I want to do in the morning is talk to people. Also, my kids aren't babies and would feel silly being walked to the bus stop. Cut the cord, people.

[Anonymous]

If the morning is your busiest time, it's strange you had time to type up a long post on DCUM this morning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:she sets up chairs! lol!

I know right! For real, she sets up chairs for the favorites. Makes a big show of bringing a bday present etc to parents at the bus stop that she does like, too. Constantly criticizes other people’s real or imagined parenting and finances, fake boobs, textbook bully, SAHM to kids in elem and middle school age, lots of endless narration of self-inflicted unnecessary and tiny home renovation drama, like changing a pantry shelf in a kitchen that was just remodeled two years ago. No one really likes her, but several kiss her ass because they think, incorrectly, that will help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it is bizarre. Also, these kids aren't learning basic things like how to walk down the street by themselves. Just another example of parents putting their own experience of being a parent above the needs of their children.

Agree. The bus stop shouldn’t be an opportunity for parents to socialize. It ruins the social dynamic of the kids. Bus stops are a great place for kids to be social with other kids they may not necessarily be friends with or socialize with at school, and talk candidly with each other. I have great memories of hanging out at the bus stop as a child from as early as kindergarten. Parents were never there. It was a blast. Even in bad weather, or buses running late, we had each other and made the best of it. Once in a blue moon, if it was a down pour, someone’s mom in a minivan might show up and we would all pile in. But this was a rare occurrence even for bad weather. Help your child dress appropriately and any weather shouldn’t be an issue. It is ok for them for be uncomfortable for a short time.