Something you do that other parents probably judge and something you judge about other parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I am judged because I work full-time.

I definitely judge anyone who is judgmental about either super complex issues (like WOH/SAH, etc.) or things that are irrelevant (kids sports schedules). Like the sports-schedule-judging PP above, that's a stupid thing to judge and I judge you for it.

pp here- I judge you for being judgmental of my judging (and for saying it's a "stupid" thing to judge). A lot of these things are stupid--otherwise it wouldn't be called "judging" it would called universal common sense (vaccinate your kids, secure your firearms, don't hit, etc.).

I don't care. You judge stupid things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who grew up in another country, I judge people with fat kids. What on earth are you feeding them? Are you really that lazy to prepare a simple healthy meal? Why are you setting up your child to be an obese adult in future? There are tons of information about healthy eating, yet parents are too pathetic and lazy to do anything.

I judge you for not being able to read the OP and follow simple directions. That's also probably why you don't understand complex topics like childhood obesity. (My kids are not overweight, but even a moron should know it's a lot more complicated than what you posted.)

Childhood obesity in America is not a “complex topic”. 99% of fat kids here eat junk food or overeat, or likely both.

[Anonymous]

I'm probably judged by others for being hands-off for a lot of things now that my kid is older elementary (she is allowed to go to a nearby grocery store alone, can stay home by herself, gets her homework done without help, lights matches, uses sharp knives, uses the stove, etc.)

I judge others who infantilize their kids by not teaching them valuable life skills (sewing a button on, growing a plant, baking a cake, contributing to household upkeep, saving and using their own money, ordering something in a restaurant that isn't grilled cheese or buttered noodles, etc)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I judge mothers who breastfeed any child over the age of two. I breastfeed exclusively and was breastfed, so you know I am coming from a pro-nursing position. But, honestly think nursing an older child is a very specific form of sexual abuse and emotionally harmful to the child. Watching children old enough to be potty trained yell and scream at their mother to “take off your shirt” (yes, I’ve watched this happen) and the mother proceeds to nurse on demand, is painful to watch. Babies need moms and need breast milk, but if your kid can eat a sandwich, you are putting your boob in their mouth for YOU, or them.

I'm breastfeeding an almost 4 y/o, and I've never judged anyone for feeding their kids - breast milk, formula, or both.
Outside blatant neglect or child abuse, I judge laziness or not going the extra mile For example, I heard things like I hate blueberries so I never buy blueberries, even if my kids like them.

That is for your needs, not the child's at this point.

Interesting! I breastfed my child twice a day until he was about 25 months old (so shortly after 2) when he quit on his own. What is the specific sexual abuse?

Agree with the first pp. extending breastfeeding is gross and weird and done solely to meet the emotional needs of the mom. If your child can eat food and also ask for your boob in a full sentence you’ve let it go on too long.

I judge people who let their young toddler watch videos on a cell phone or tablet 24/7.

+1 child is three and obsessed with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and ice cream. She has no interest in breastfeeding at this point and no need for it. It’s a hang up of the mother at this point. Can’t imagine an almost four year old hanging off a boob, judging so so hard.

I would have a hard time with my child being obsessed with junk food. We don't really eat processed sugar or bread. The lady who cooks for us makes homemade ice cream with grass-fed milk sometimes, as a very special treat, but my kids never ask for junk food.
Could be a reason why we're all tall and thin.

https://fn.bmj.com/content/87/3/F193

Just because she likes ice cream doesn’t mean she gets it. It’s just an example to demonstrate what average children her age like, not still attached to the breast. Surprised you haven’t mentioned the special ice cream you get is made with breastmilk too. And ps we are tall and willowy too and my kid has been scouted and asked to do modeling gigs. Please.

[Anonymous]

People would judge me for: redshirting my summer birthday boys, not breastfeeding (my older boy was low birth weight and we just couldn’t “get it,” and with my younger boy we just went right to formula because it’s what I knew and worked for us), letting them have a lot of screen time even if it’s only on as background noise while they play elsewhere. I also narrate everything for my kids at the store and stuff, which there are many posts on here decrying that as “annoying” and “attention-seeking,” but you might not realize they are both speech-delayed and my older boy is also hard of hearing - so the more speech they can be exposed to the better.

I judge people for: the big stuff - not vaccinating, not doing safe sleep practices, etc. And substituting essential oils for medicine or cleaning supplies - your house is nasty and germ-filled, please use bleach and actual medicines.

Silly petty things that I don’t severely judge but I do side-eye a little bit: people who never let their kids wear character clothing or play with character toys (let them be kids, I promise a paw patrol shirt is super cool for 4 year olds!), people who overly-hover over kids older than toddler age at the playground who are playing appropriately, toddlers+ who are still nursing on demand, tugging at mom’s shirt in public, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I judge mothers who breastfeed any child over the age of two. I breastfeed exclusively and was breastfed, so you know I am coming from a pro-nursing position. But, honestly think nursing an older child is a very specific form of sexual abuse and emotionally harmful to the child. Watching children old enough to be potty trained yell and scream at their mother to “take off your shirt” (yes, I’ve watched this happen) and the mother proceeds to nurse on demand, is painful to watch. Babies need moms and need breast milk, but if your kid can eat a sandwich, you are putting your boob in their mouth for YOU, or them.

I'm breastfeeding an almost 4 y/o, and I've never judged anyone for feeding their kids - breast milk, formula, or both.
Outside blatant neglect or child abuse, I judge laziness or not going the extra mile For example, I heard things like I hate blueberries so I never buy blueberries, even if my kids like them.

Why??

+1 I judge this. Your kid is potty trained (I hope) and can feed himself. He can drink from his own cup. He is nearly the age when most kids begin reading and riding bikes. In two more years he will start losing those baby teeth! Why are you infantilizing him?

[Anonymous]

I strongly judge women with kids who don’t sleep. Every kid I know who doesn’t sleep has parents who made critical mistakes and refused to sleep train. They never put their kid on any sort of schedule and nurses on demand at night even when the kid was much older. They act like it’s shocking their kid doesn’t sleep when they did multiple things that prevented their kid from sleeping. They think sleep training is somehow worse for their kid than a kid who isn’t getting enough sleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I judge mothers who breastfeed any child over the age of two. I breastfeed exclusively and was breastfed, so you know I am coming from a pro-nursing position. But, honestly think nursing an older child is a very specific form of sexual abuse and emotionally harmful to the child. Watching children old enough to be potty trained yell and scream at their mother to “take off your shirt” (yes, I’ve watched this happen) and the mother proceeds to nurse on demand, is painful to watch. Babies need moms and need breast milk, but if your kid can eat a sandwich, you are putting your boob in their mouth for YOU, or them.

Except that you don’t get to define what sexual abuse is. It’s not really a matter of opinion.

+ 1
I don't judge the P(pp) for having an opinion. I think it must stem from some experience and shame from her past that has colored her opinion. I feel compassion for her, because it must not be easy being her.

Sorry but most adults out there think breastfeeding an older child is weird AF. The mom has a lack of boundaries, is unable to parent her child (can’t say NO) and it’s icky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im probably judged on offering unsolicited parenting advice when someone really just wants to vent.

I judge people who refuse to do any kind of sleep training yet constantly complain how tired they are.

That was me. But honestly, to me, your statement is like saying I judge people who complain about their toddler misbehaving when they aren’t willing to discipline by spanking. Those of us who won’t sleep train feel it would be cruel to do so. But we do get tired and we generally think other parents will sympathize. I also complain I’m tired after staying up late to watch baseball even though I don’t have to watch baseball. Judge away.

If you think sleep training is cruel, then you don’t know what sleep training is.

I think it is cruel and in fact negligent to deprive children of consistent, high-quality sleep.

This.

The moms who refuse to sleep train often reuse to do many things that are better for the child. They are often more focused on their own happiness and guilt than what their child actually needs. They also often fail at potty training, raising resilient children and establishing boundaries.

[Anonymous]

I judge parents who take Principled Stands against harmless things...like, I will NEVER buy my child a character shirt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I judge mothers who breastfeed any child over the age of two. I breastfeed exclusively and was breastfed, so you know I am coming from a pro-nursing position. But, honestly think nursing an older child is a very specific form of sexual abuse and emotionally harmful to the child. Watching children old enough to be potty trained yell and scream at their mother to “take off your shirt” (yes, I’ve watched this happen) and the mother proceeds to nurse on demand, is painful to watch. Babies need moms and need breast milk, but if your kid can eat a sandwich, you are putting your boob in their mouth for YOU, or them.

I'm breastfeeding an almost 4 y/o, and I've never judged anyone for feeding their kids - breast milk, formula, or both.
Outside blatant neglect or child abuse, I judge laziness or not going the extra mile For example, I heard things like I hate blueberries so I never buy blueberries, even if my kids like them.

Robin Arryn of the Vale. How interesting that there are people in real life that do that, and think it is fine. I judge you for using your child as some kind of physical and emotional substitute. Your kid is not dying of hunger and there is no other source of food for him.

Who cares? I am ok with a mother nursing a kid at 4, if the child wants it. I am assuming that the nursing is mostly for soothing the child and not for nutritional needs. Probably happening in the nighttime before the kid goes to sleep, more as a soothing ritual than an actual food need.

I am seeing a lot of young children who are hot messes and I think it mainly has to do with the insecurities that their moms have perpetuated. I wish more moms did that so that if they have kids who would do actually do better with soothing and feel more secure with such care, got what they needed. Everything that is done in this society regarding parenting runs counter to how human babies are taken care of around the world. Babies are not made to CIO, young children are not forced to sleep in a different room, babies are nursed on demand and children are nursed even as toddlers or young children if they want to as part of a ritual to calm them. Then we wonder why these kids are depressed, anxious and angry?

Anecdotally all of the kids I know with emotional problems like you listed had parents who didn’t establish boundaries or want to PARENT. Most likely it’s because the parent always put the child first to the detriment of the marriage. It’s not healthy for kids to grow up in a home where there happiness comes before the happiness and health of the parent. Having kids who don’t sleep and/or sleep with the parents isn’t good for a marriage or the children. Same with nursing a toddler. Your child is a separate person and not part of you. You can still be a loving parent without putting your boob in their mouth and having them sleep in the marital bed with you.

[Anonymous]

I judged the hell out of my kid's classmate's parents, who sent their kids to school knowing they had lice.

People probably judge me for feeding my kids happy meals every couple of weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anti-vaxxers.
Parents who spank. I can forgive the cliche "I swatted my 2 year old's bottom when she ran out into the road" once-in-a-childhood thing, but people who regularly spank their children as a standard disciplinary tactic? Nope. It's just not right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I judged the hell out of my kid's classmate's parents, who sent their kids to school knowing they had lice.

People probably judge me for feeding my kids happy meals every couple of weeks.

As far as cumulative impact goes, you've really got your priorities reversed here.

[Anonymous]

Bring my kid yo daycare/ preschool in pajamas.

I judge parents that don’t teach kindness and manners.