Something you do that other parents probably judge and something you judge about other parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I judge mothers who breastfeed any child over the age of two. I breastfeed exclusively and was breastfed, so you know I am coming from a pro-nursing position. But, honestly think nursing an older child is a very specific form of sexual abuse and emotionally harmful to the child. Watching children old enough to be potty trained yell and scream at their mother to “take off your shirt” (yes, I’ve watched this happen) and the mother proceeds to nurse on demand, is painful to watch. Babies need moms and need breast milk, but if your kid can eat a sandwich, you are putting your boob in their mouth for YOU, or them.

I'm breastfeeding an almost 4 y/o, and I've never judged anyone for feeding their kids - breast milk, formula, or both.
Outside blatant neglect or child abuse, I judge laziness or not going the extra mile For example, I heard things like I hate blueberries so I never buy blueberries, even if my kids like them.

That is for your needs, not the child's at this point.

Interesting! I breastfed my child twice a day until he was about 25 months old (so shortly after 2) when he quit on his own. What is the specific sexual abuse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I judge mothers who breastfeed any child over the age of two. I breastfeed exclusively and was breastfed, so you know I am coming from a pro-nursing position. But, honestly think nursing an older child is a very specific form of sexual abuse and emotionally harmful to the child. Watching children old enough to be potty trained yell and scream at their mother to “take off your shirt” (yes, I’ve watched this happen) and the mother proceeds to nurse on demand, is painful to watch. Babies need moms and need breast milk, but if your kid can eat a sandwich, you are putting your boob in their mouth for YOU, or them.

I'm breastfeeding an almost 4 y/o, and I've never judged anyone for feeding their kids - breast milk, formula, or both.
Outside blatant neglect or child abuse, I judge laziness or not going the extra mile For example, I heard things like I hate blueberries so I never buy blueberries, even if my kids like them.

That is for your needs, not the child's at this point.

Interesting! I breastfed my child twice a day until he was about 25 months old (so shortly after 2) when he quit on his own. What is the specific sexual abuse?

Agree with the first pp. extending breastfeeding is gross and weird and done solely to meet the emotional needs of the mom. If your child can eat food and also ask for your boob in a full sentence you’ve let it go on too long.

I judge people who let their young toddler watch videos on a cell phone or tablet 24/7.

[Anonymous]

I feel like I am judged because I have a kid with ADHD, now well managed but it took a long time and a ton of work to get there.

I don't really judge anyone except antivaxxers, DCUMs anti-redshirt posters (because they come across as petty gossips online) and anyone who is overly judgmental and unable to understand nuance around hot button issues like breastfeeding, SAH, WOH, SN management, childcare, etc. Most people are just trying to do their best. I judge people who don't understand that. If you are rigid and inflexible and don't understand that people can raise their children differently than you do, you are likely not a great parent. Along those lines I definitely judge anyone who gossips about children.

[Anonymous]

As someone who grew up in another country, I judge people with fat kids. What on earth are you feeding them? Are you really that lazy to prepare a simple healthy meal? Why are you setting up your child to be an obese adult in future? There are tons of information about healthy eating, yet parents are too pathetic and lazy to do anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I judge mothers who breastfeed any child over the age of two. I breastfeed exclusively and was breastfed, so you know I am coming from a pro-nursing position. But, honestly think nursing an older child is a very specific form of sexual abuse and emotionally harmful to the child. Watching children old enough to be potty trained yell and scream at their mother to “take off your shirt” (yes, I’ve watched this happen) and the mother proceeds to nurse on demand, is painful to watch. Babies need moms and need breast milk, but if your kid can eat a sandwich, you are putting your boob in their mouth for YOU, or them.

I'm breastfeeding an almost 4 y/o, and I've never judged anyone for feeding their kids - breast milk, formula, or both.
Outside blatant neglect or child abuse, I judge laziness or not going the extra mile For example, I heard things like I hate blueberries so I never buy blueberries, even if my kids like them.

That is for your needs, not the child's at this point.

Interesting! I breastfed my child twice a day until he was about 25 months old (so shortly after 2) when he quit on his own. What is the specific sexual abuse?

Agree with the first pp. extending breastfeeding is gross and weird and done solely to meet the emotional needs of the mom. If your child can eat food and also ask for your boob in a full sentence you’ve let it go on too long.

I judge people who let their young toddler watch videos on a cell phone or tablet 24/7.

+1 child is three and obsessed with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and ice cream. She has no interest in breastfeeding at this point and no need for it. It’s a hang up of the mother at this point. Can’t imagine an almost four year old hanging off a boob, judging so so hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I judge mothers who breastfeed any child over the age of two. I breastfeed exclusively and was breastfed, so you know I am coming from a pro-nursing position. But, honestly think nursing an older child is a very specific form of sexual abuse and emotionally harmful to the child. Watching children old enough to be potty trained yell and scream at their mother to “take off your shirt” (yes, I’ve watched this happen) and the mother proceeds to nurse on demand, is painful to watch. Babies need moms and need breast milk, but if your kid can eat a sandwich, you are putting your boob in their mouth for YOU, or them.

I'm breastfeeding an almost 4 y/o, and I've never judged anyone for feeding their kids - breast milk, formula, or both.
Outside blatant neglect or child abuse, I judge laziness or not going the extra mile For example, I heard things like I hate blueberries so I never buy blueberries, even if my kids like them.

Why??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I judge mothers who breastfeed any child over the age of two. I breastfeed exclusively and was breastfed, so you know I am coming from a pro-nursing position. But, honestly think nursing an older child is a very specific form of sexual abuse and emotionally harmful to the child. Watching children old enough to be potty trained yell and scream at their mother to “take off your shirt” (yes, I’ve watched this happen) and the mother proceeds to nurse on demand, is painful to watch. Babies need moms and need breast milk, but if your kid can eat a sandwich, you are putting your boob in their mouth for YOU, or them.

Except that you don’t get to define what sexual abuse is. It’s not really a matter of opinion.

+ 1
I don't judge the P(pp) for having an opinion. I think it must stem from some experience and shame from her past that has colored her opinion. I feel compassion for her, because it must not be easy being her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I judge mothers who breastfeed any child over the age of two. I breastfeed exclusively and was breastfed, so you know I am coming from a pro-nursing position. But, honestly think nursing an older child is a very specific form of sexual abuse and emotionally harmful to the child. Watching children old enough to be potty trained yell and scream at their mother to “take off your shirt” (yes, I’ve watched this happen) and the mother proceeds to nurse on demand, is painful to watch. Babies need moms and need breast milk, but if your kid can eat a sandwich, you are putting your boob in their mouth for YOU, or them.

I'm breastfeeding an almost 4 y/o, and I've never judged anyone for feeding their kids - breast milk, formula, or both.
Outside blatant neglect or child abuse, I judge laziness or not going the extra mile For example, I heard things like I hate blueberries so I never buy blueberries, even if my kids like them.

That is for your needs, not the child's at this point.

Interesting! I breastfed my child twice a day until he was about 25 months old (so shortly after 2) when he quit on his own. What is the specific sexual abuse?

Agree with the first pp. extending breastfeeding is gross and weird and done solely to meet the emotional needs of the mom. If your child can eat food and also ask for your boob in a full sentence you’ve let it go on too long.

I judge people who let their young toddler watch videos on a cell phone or tablet 24/7.

How do you agree with the first Pp? She is saying breastfeeding a 3 year old is sexual abuse. you are saying it is the emotional need of the mom. You and her both are saying different things. I think breastfeeding a 3 year old is too much of work for not much nutritional need or bonding, but if some mom continues to do that then she has the freedom to determine what works best for her and her child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone who grew up in another country, I judge people with fat kids. What on earth are you feeding them? Are you really that lazy to prepare a simple healthy meal? Why are you setting up your child to be an obese adult in future? There are tons of information about healthy eating, yet parents are too pathetic and lazy to do anything.

I judge you for not being able to read the OP and follow simple directions. That's also probably why you don't understand complex topics like childhood obesity. (My kids are not overweight, but even a moron should know it's a lot more complicated than what you posted.)

[Anonymous]

15y/o and 11 y/o. Both self regulate their junk food consumption (though of course they only eat what I buy) and their screen time (aside from rules about violent/mature content and an auto shut down at bedtime). Both are happy, healthy, active, well rounded kids. Yet DH gets the side eye when he brings Gatorade as part of snack to soccer practice (one mother of a 14 year old made her son give it back because it "had too much sugar"! A 14 year old!)

I judge the people who let their kids ride bikes and skateboards without helmets, and sit in the front seat before they are 13. Ironically, these are the same people who will blather on to each other about how "unhealthy" junk food and screen are for their kids' brain. Yeah, lady, one TBI from a wipe out or a low speed car accident and you won't have to worry about that anymore...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I judge mothers who breastfeed any child over the age of two. I breastfeed exclusively and was breastfed, so you know I am coming from a pro-nursing position. But, honestly think nursing an older child is a very specific form of sexual abuse and emotionally harmful to the child. Watching children old enough to be potty trained yell and scream at their mother to “take off your shirt” (yes, I’ve watched this happen) and the mother proceeds to nurse on demand, is painful to watch. Babies need moms and need breast milk, but if your kid can eat a sandwich, you are putting your boob in their mouth for YOU, or them.

I'm breastfeeding an almost 4 y/o, and I've never judged anyone for feeding their kids - breast milk, formula, or both.
Outside blatant neglect or child abuse, I judge laziness or not going the extra mile For example, I heard things like I hate blueberries so I never buy blueberries, even if my kids like them.

Robin Arryn of the Vale. How interesting that there are people in real life that do that, and think it is fine. I judge you for using your child as some kind of physical and emotional substitute. Your kid is not dying of hunger and there is no other source of food for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I judge mothers who breastfeed any child over the age of two. I breastfeed exclusively and was breastfed, so you know I am coming from a pro-nursing position. But, honestly think nursing an older child is a very specific form of sexual abuse and emotionally harmful to the child. Watching children old enough to be potty trained yell and scream at their mother to “take off your shirt” (yes, I’ve watched this happen) and the mother proceeds to nurse on demand, is painful to watch. Babies need moms and need breast milk, but if your kid can eat a sandwich, you are putting your boob in their mouth for YOU, or them.

I'm breastfeeding an almost 4 y/o, and I've never judged anyone for feeding their kids - breast milk, formula, or both.
Outside blatant neglect or child abuse, I judge laziness or not going the extra mile For example, I heard things like I hate blueberries so I never buy blueberries, even if my kids like them.

Robin Arryn of the Vale. How interesting that there are people in real life that do that, and think it is fine. I judge you for using your child as some kind of physical and emotional substitute. Your kid is not dying of hunger and there is no other source of food for him.

Who cares? I am ok with a mother nursing a kid at 4, if the child wants it. I am assuming that the nursing is mostly for soothing the child and not for nutritional needs. Probably happening in the nighttime before the kid goes to sleep, more as a soothing ritual than an actual food need.

I am seeing a lot of young children who are hot messes and I think it mainly has to do with the insecurities that their moms have perpetuated. I wish more moms did that so that if they have kids who would do actually do better with soothing and feel more secure with such care, got what they needed. Everything that is done in this society regarding parenting runs counter to how human babies are taken care of around the world. Babies are not made to CIO, young children are not forced to sleep in a different room, babies are nursed on demand and children are nursed even as toddlers or young children if they want to as part of a ritual to calm them. Then we wonder why these kids are depressed, anxious and angry?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im probably judged on offering unsolicited parenting advice when someone really just wants to vent.

I judge people who refuse to do any kind of sleep training yet constantly complain how tired they are.

That was me. But honestly, to me, your statement is like saying I judge people who complain about their toddler misbehaving when they aren’t willing to discipline by spanking. Those of us who won’t sleep train feel it would be cruel to do so. But we do get tired and we generally think other parents will sympathize. I also complain I’m tired after staying up late to watch baseball even though I don’t have to watch baseball. Judge away.

No. It's like people who complain that their kids are difficult and parenting is so, so hard when they have never once told their kid "No!".

[Anonymous]

I judge people who don’t teach their kids reading, writing, and math at home. Do you also wait for school do shapes and colors?

People probably judge me for letting my kids watch cartoons. Or for teaching them to read!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I judge mothers who breastfeed any child over the age of two. I breastfeed exclusively and was breastfed, so you know I am coming from a pro-nursing position. But, honestly think nursing an older child is a very specific form of sexual abuse and emotionally harmful to the child. Watching children old enough to be potty trained yell and scream at their mother to “take off your shirt” (yes, I’ve watched this happen) and the mother proceeds to nurse on demand, is painful to watch. Babies need moms and need breast milk, but if your kid can eat a sandwich, you are putting your boob in their mouth for YOU, or them.

I'm breastfeeding an almost 4 y/o, and I've never judged anyone for feeding their kids - breast milk, formula, or both.
Outside blatant neglect or child abuse, I judge laziness or not going the extra mile For example, I heard things like I hate blueberries so I never buy blueberries, even if my kids like them.

Robin Arryn of the Vale. How interesting that there are people in real life that do that, and think it is fine. I judge you for using your child as some kind of physical and emotional substitute. Your kid is not dying of hunger and there is no other source of food for him.

Who cares? I am ok with a mother nursing a kid at 4, if the child wants it. I am assuming that the nursing is mostly for soothing the child and not for nutritional needs. Probably happening in the nighttime before the kid goes to sleep, more as a soothing ritual than an actual food need.

I am seeing a lot of young children who are hot messes and I think it mainly has to do with the insecurities that their moms have perpetuated. I wish more moms did that so that if they have kids who would do actually do better with soothing and feel more secure with such care, got what they needed. Everything that is done in this society regarding parenting runs counter to how human babies are taken care of around the world. Babies are not made to CIO, young children are not forced to sleep in a different room, babies are nursed on demand and children are nursed even as toddlers or young children if they want to as part of a ritual to calm them. Then we wonder why these kids are depressed, anxious and angry?

DP. Trust when I say there are plenty of children who are hot messes and whose parents co-slept, extended BF, homeschool etc. It's bizarre you think that extended breastfeeding somehow immunizes children against mental health disorders.