Something you do that other parents probably judge and something you judge about other parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I judge mothers who breastfeed any child over the age of two. I breastfeed exclusively and was breastfed, so you know I am coming from a pro-nursing position. But, honestly think nursing an older child is a very specific form of sexual abuse and emotionally harmful to the child. Watching children old enough to be potty trained yell and scream at their mother to “take off your shirt” (yes, I’ve watched this happen) and the mother proceeds to nurse on demand, is painful to watch. Babies need moms and need breast milk, but if your kid can eat a sandwich, you are putting your boob in their mouth for YOU, or them.

I'm breastfeeding an almost 4 y/o, and I've never judged anyone for feeding their kids - breast milk, formula, or both.
Outside blatant neglect or child abuse, I judge laziness or not going the extra mile For example, I heard things like I hate blueberries so I never buy blueberries, even if my kids like them.

Robin Arryn of the Vale. How interesting that there are people in real life that do that, and think it is fine. I judge you for using your child as some kind of physical and emotional substitute. Your kid is not dying of hunger and there is no other source of food for him.

Who cares? I am ok with a mother nursing a kid at 4, if the child wants it. I am assuming that the nursing is mostly for soothing the child and not for nutritional needs. Probably happening in the nighttime before the kid goes to sleep, more as a soothing ritual than an actual food need.

I am seeing a lot of young children who are hot messes and I think it mainly has to do with the insecurities that their moms have perpetuated. I wish more moms did that so that if they have kids who would do actually do better with soothing and feel more secure with such care, got what they needed. Everything that is done in this society regarding parenting runs counter to how human babies are taken care of around the world. Babies are not made to CIO, young children are not forced to sleep in a different room, babies are nursed on demand and children are nursed even as toddlers or young children if they want to as part of a ritual to calm them. Then we wonder why these kids are depressed, anxious and angry?

A kid who has a full set of teeth, can write his/her own name, go on field trips, sit in circle time.....should not be held and "fed" like a little baby. You can still snuggle up with them and read a story together - that's age appropriate. 4 is an age when a child is building confidence in their own autonomy, treating them like a needy little baby is just such a bad message to send.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I judge mothers who breastfeed any child over the age of two. I breastfeed exclusively and was breastfed, so you know I am coming from a pro-nursing position. But, honestly think nursing an older child is a very specific form of sexual abuse and emotionally harmful to the child. Watching children old enough to be potty trained yell and scream at their mother to “take off your shirt” (yes, I’ve watched this happen) and the mother proceeds to nurse on demand, is painful to watch. Babies need moms and need breast milk, but if your kid can eat a sandwich, you are putting your boob in their mouth for YOU, or them.

I'm breastfeeding an almost 4 y/o, and I've never judged anyone for feeding their kids - breast milk, formula, or both.
Outside blatant neglect or child abuse, I judge laziness or not going the extra mile For example, I heard things like I hate blueberries so I never buy blueberries, even if my kids like them.

Robin Arryn of the Vale. How interesting that there are people in real life that do that, and think it is fine. I judge you for using your child as some kind of physical and emotional substitute. Your kid is not dying of hunger and there is no other source of food for him.

Who cares? I am ok with a mother nursing a kid at 4, if the child wants it. I am assuming that the nursing is mostly for soothing the child and not for nutritional needs. Probably happening in the nighttime before the kid goes to sleep, more as a soothing ritual than an actual food need.

I am seeing a lot of young children who are hot messes and I think it mainly has to do with the insecurities that their moms have perpetuated. I wish more moms did that so that if they have kids who would do actually do better with soothing and feel more secure with such care, got what they needed. Everything that is done in this society regarding parenting runs counter to how human babies are taken care of around the world. Babies are not made to CIO, young children are not forced to sleep in a different room, babies are nursed on demand and children are nursed even as toddlers or young children if they want to as part of a ritual to calm them. Then we wonder why these kids are depressed, anxious and angry?

No, it is not for the child soothing. It is for mother's soothing herself and people judge parents who allow 4 year olds pacifiers and a bottle. This pp lives here, presumably, not in rural Ethiopia? This child is telling friends about drinking from the mommy, and lives here, not somewhere else. This kid lives in our society. No kid is depressed because they are not breastfed till five. I judge you for not recognizing the realities of our society and that this kid will go into kindergarten telling friends that he drinks mommy's' milk and will be made fun of. This thread is about judging, and this mom did not preface her statement with " I am from a culture that does this regularly."

[Anonymous]

I assume that I will be judged for my kids study habits, sleep habits and chores.

My kids are allowed to sleep for as long as they want on weekends and holidays - unless there is something scheduled. My teenager wakes up at 11am sometimes.

My kids have a study time at home. I sat with my kids every day and taught them and went over their homework the whole of ES and some MS.
They are in HS now. Sitting down and studying is now instilled in them. No one in our house is allowed to watch TV (in any room) when kids are studying.

My kids have very few communal domestic chores at home. They basically make their beds in the morning, wipe up the shower after they use it, put their clothes in the laundry hamper, fold their washed clothes and put it away, empty their lunch box every day, hang their coats, put their plates and cups in the dishwasher, and just be responsible for themselves mainly. They do not do communal chores except taking the trash out, or unloading the van after a Costco trip. .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I judge mothers who breastfeed any child over the age of two. I breastfeed exclusively and was breastfed, so you know I am coming from a pro-nursing position. But, honestly think nursing an older child is a very specific form of sexual abuse and emotionally harmful to the child. Watching children old enough to be potty trained yell and scream at their mother to “take off your shirt” (yes, I’ve watched this happen) and the mother proceeds to nurse on demand, is painful to watch. Babies need moms and need breast milk, but if your kid can eat a sandwich, you are putting your boob in their mouth for YOU, or them.

I'm breastfeeding an almost 4 y/o, and I've never judged anyone for feeding their kids - breast milk, formula, or both.
Outside blatant neglect or child abuse, I judge laziness or not going the extra mile For example, I heard things like I hate blueberries so I never buy blueberries, even if my kids like them.

Robin Arryn of the Vale. How interesting that there are people in real life that do that, and think it is fine. I judge you for using your child as some kind of physical and emotional substitute. Your kid is not dying of hunger and there is no other source of food for him.

Who cares? I am ok with a mother nursing a kid at 4, if the child wants it. I am assuming that the nursing is mostly for soothing the child and not for nutritional needs. Probably happening in the nighttime before the kid goes to sleep, more as a soothing ritual than an actual food need.

I am seeing a lot of young children who are hot messes and I think it mainly has to do with the insecurities that their moms have perpetuated. I wish more moms did that so that if they have kids who would do actually do better with soothing and feel more secure with such care, got what they needed. Everything that is done in this society regarding parenting runs counter to how human babies are taken care of around the world. Babies are not made to CIO, young children are not forced to sleep in a different room, babies are nursed on demand and children are nursed even as toddlers or young children if they want to as part of a ritual to calm them. Then we wonder why these kids are depressed, anxious and angry?

No, it is not for the child soothing. It is for mother's soothing herself and people judge parents who allow 4 year olds pacifiers and a bottle. This pp lives here, presumably, not in rural Ethiopia? This child is telling friends about drinking from the mommy, and lives here, not somewhere else. This kid lives in our society. No kid is depressed because they are not breastfed till five. I judge you for not recognizing the realities of our society and that this kid will go into kindergarten telling friends that he drinks mommy's' milk and will be made fun of. This thread is about judging, and this mom did not preface her statement with " I am from a culture that does this regularly."

Oh ok. You White women are dumping on other White women? Just like y'all do for Kate Middleton or Gwenth Paltrow? Ok, Carry on. Did not realize that it was a White on White bashing. Carry on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I judge mothers who breastfeed any child over the age of two. I breastfeed exclusively and was breastfed, so you know I am coming from a pro-nursing position. But, honestly think nursing an older child is a very specific form of sexual abuse and emotionally harmful to the child. Watching children old enough to be potty trained yell and scream at their mother to “take off your shirt” (yes, I’ve watched this happen) and the mother proceeds to nurse on demand, is painful to watch. Babies need moms and need breast milk, but if your kid can eat a sandwich, you are putting your boob in their mouth for YOU, or them.

The natural weaning age is 2-4 years when children are allowed to self-wean. You just think it should be sooner because that's what American society thinks.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2720507/#b12-pch09249

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I judge mothers who breastfeed any child over the age of two. I breastfeed exclusively and was breastfed, so you know I am coming from a pro-nursing position. But, honestly think nursing an older child is a very specific form of sexual abuse and emotionally harmful to the child. Watching children old enough to be potty trained yell and scream at their mother to “take off your shirt” (yes, I’ve watched this happen) and the mother proceeds to nurse on demand, is painful to watch. Babies need moms and need breast milk, but if your kid can eat a sandwich, you are putting your boob in their mouth for YOU, or them.

I'm breastfeeding an almost 4 y/o, and I've never judged anyone for feeding their kids - breast milk, formula, or both.
Outside blatant neglect or child abuse, I judge laziness or not going the extra mile For example, I heard things like I hate blueberries so I never buy blueberries, even if my kids like them.

Robin Arryn of the Vale. How interesting that there are people in real life that do that, and think it is fine. I judge you for using your child as some kind of physical and emotional substitute. Your kid is not dying of hunger and there is no other source of food for him.

Who cares? I am ok with a mother nursing a kid at 4, if the child wants it. I am assuming that the nursing is mostly for soothing the child and not for nutritional needs. Probably happening in the nighttime before the kid goes to sleep, more as a soothing ritual than an actual food need.

I am seeing a lot of young children who are hot messes and I think it mainly has to do with the insecurities that their moms have perpetuated. I wish more moms did that so that if they have kids who would do actually do better with soothing and feel more secure with such care, got what they needed. Everything that is done in this society regarding parenting runs counter to how human babies are taken care of around the world. Babies are not made to CIO, young children are not forced to sleep in a different room, babies are nursed on demand and children are nursed even as toddlers or young children if they want to as part of a ritual to calm them. Then we wonder why these kids are depressed, anxious and angry?

No, it is not for the child soothing. It is for mother's soothing herself and people judge parents who allow 4 year olds pacifiers and a bottle. This pp lives here, presumably, not in rural Ethiopia? This child is telling friends about drinking from the mommy, and lives here, not somewhere else. This kid lives in our society. No kid is depressed because they are not breastfed till five. I judge you for not recognizing the realities of our society and that this kid will go into kindergarten telling friends that he drinks mommy's' milk and will be made fun of. This thread is about judging, and this mom did not preface her statement with " I am from a culture that does this regularly."

Oh ok. You White women are dumping on other White women? Just like y'all do for Kate Middleton or Gwenth Paltrow? Ok, Carry on. Did not realize that it was a White on White bashing. Carry on.

What? Of course it is almost always white women bashing on white women. Bcs we live in a white women society here. Are we not allowed to bash on white women on a thread about bashing and judging? Go stroke your white ego and privilege somewhere else. Why should white women be exempt from bashing? Oh, no, another infringement on your white fragility. You also sound stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I judge mothers who breastfeed any child over the age of two. I breastfeed exclusively and was breastfed, so you know I am coming from a pro-nursing position. But, honestly think nursing an older child is a very specific form of sexual abuse and emotionally harmful to the child. Watching children old enough to be potty trained yell and scream at their mother to “take off your shirt” (yes, I’ve watched this happen) and the mother proceeds to nurse on demand, is painful to watch. Babies need moms and need breast milk, but if your kid can eat a sandwich, you are putting your boob in their mouth for YOU, or them.

The natural weaning age is 2-4 years when children are allowed to self-wean. You just think it should be sooner because that's what American society thinks.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2720507/#b12-pch09249

Well, she lives in the American society, no? So she has been conditioned since birth to think in certain patterns and this is one of them, no? But, should she now become breast justice warrior to resist the society that has made her what she is? She was raised by society that thinks this is pervy, but she should go to uncondition herself. Oh, and you are doign the same to her you accused me of doing, you are bashing a white American woman, but it is ok if you do it?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I judge mothers who breastfeed any child over the age of two. I breastfeed exclusively and was breastfed, so you know I am coming from a pro-nursing position. But, honestly think nursing an older child is a very specific form of sexual abuse and emotionally harmful to the child. Watching children old enough to be potty trained yell and scream at their mother to “take off your shirt” (yes, I’ve watched this happen) and the mother proceeds to nurse on demand, is painful to watch. Babies need moms and need breast milk, but if your kid can eat a sandwich, you are putting your boob in their mouth for YOU, or them.

I'm breastfeeding an almost 4 y/o, and I've never judged anyone for feeding their kids - breast milk, formula, or both.
Outside blatant neglect or child abuse, I judge laziness or not going the extra mile For example, I heard things like I hate blueberries so I never buy blueberries, even if my kids like them.

Robin Arryn of the Vale. How interesting that there are people in real life that do that, and think it is fine. I judge you for using your child as some kind of physical and emotional substitute. Your kid is not dying of hunger and there is no other source of food for him.

Who cares? I am ok with a mother nursing a kid at 4, if the child wants it. I am assuming that the nursing is mostly for soothing the child and not for nutritional needs. Probably happening in the nighttime before the kid goes to sleep, more as a soothing ritual than an actual food need.

I am seeing a lot of young children who are hot messes and I think it mainly has to do with the insecurities that their moms have perpetuated. I wish more moms did that so that if they have kids who would do actually do better with soothing and feel more secure with such care, got what they needed. Everything that is done in this society regarding parenting runs counter to how human babies are taken care of around the world. Babies are not made to CIO, young children are not forced to sleep in a different room, babies are nursed on demand and children are nursed even as toddlers or young children if they want to as part of a ritual to calm them. Then we wonder why these kids are depressed, anxious and angry?

No, it is not for the child soothing. It is for mother's soothing herself and people judge parents who allow 4 year olds pacifiers and a bottle. This pp lives here, presumably, not in rural Ethiopia? This child is telling friends about drinking from the mommy, and lives here, not somewhere else. This kid lives in our society. No kid is depressed because they are not breastfed till five. I judge you for not recognizing the realities of our society and that this kid will go into kindergarten telling friends that he drinks mommy's' milk and will be made fun of. This thread is about judging, and this mom did not preface her statement with " I am from a culture that does this regularly."

Oh ok. You White women are dumping on other White women? Just like y'all do for Kate Middleton or Gwenth Paltrow? Ok, Carry on. Did not realize that it was a White on White bashing. Carry on.

Hello KM ocd pp. You keep living in your own KM bubble that is detached from the reality. Is it ok to bash AA women then? Nobody takes anything you say seriously, you should be aware that when you out yourself as KM op we know that you have been off your rocker for years.

[Anonymous]

I can see the moms of toddlers/young grade schoolers judging my 15-year-old for dying her whole head another wild color every other month. She is not contagious as she walks past, she is not a juvenile delinquent, she is taking AP courses. All her friends do it, too. It's the age!

I judge moms of young kids who don't tailor their child's behavior to the setting. A restaurant is not a playground, etc.
Nobody else finds your child's inappropriate behavior cute.

[Anonymous]

^dyeing^

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I judge mothers who breastfeed any child over the age of two. I breastfeed exclusively and was breastfed, so you know I am coming from a pro-nursing position. But, honestly think nursing an older child is a very specific form of sexual abuse and emotionally harmful to the child. Watching children old enough to be potty trained yell and scream at their mother to “take off your shirt” (yes, I’ve watched this happen) and the mother proceeds to nurse on demand, is painful to watch. Babies need moms and need breast milk, but if your kid can eat a sandwich, you are putting your boob in their mouth for YOU, or them.

The natural weaning age is 2-4 years when children are allowed to self-wean. You just think it should be sooner because that's what American society thinks.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2720507/#b12-pch09249

Well, she lives in the American society, no? So she has been conditioned since birth to think in certain patterns and this is one of them, no? But, should she now become breast justice warrior to resist the society that has made her what she is? She was raised by society that thinks this is pervy, but she should go to uncondition herself. Oh, and you are doign the same to her you accused me of doing, you are bashing a white American woman, but it is ok if you do it?!

This is an interesting point. I'm the OP breastfeeding an almost 4 y/o. I grew up in a foreign culture and my mom breastfed me until 2 years old. My oldest was also breastfed until he self weaned, and he's a happy, well adjusted, very smart and very athletic kid with lots of friends. I'm positive that I was not harmed by my mom's extensive breastfeeding. After 2 years old, I breastfeed before bedtime and in the morning, and my kids never asked to be nursed in public. I'm very lucky to be untouched by the middle America's societal expectations because I'm white and rich.

[Anonymous]

My DS is almost 13-- I am so excited when he chooses to read that I don't monitor his reading choices. In fact, just gave him a book that I enjoyed (kind of horror/scary) because he likes that kind of thing. He showed up in our room at 2AM, trying to act breezy and completely unable to sleep. In retrospect, the book is too scary.

I judge parents who have their kids constantly booked with sports. I know- the kids love it, but what about music, art, academic competitions. There's a lot out there.

[Anonymous]

I think I am judged because I work full-time.

I definitely judge anyone who is judgmental about either super complex issues (like WOH/SAH, etc.) or things that are irrelevant (kids sports schedules). Like the sports-schedule-judging PP above, that's a stupid thing to judge and I judge you for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I judge mothers who breastfeed any child over the age of two. I breastfeed exclusively and was breastfed, so you know I am coming from a pro-nursing position. But, honestly think nursing an older child is a very specific form of sexual abuse and emotionally harmful to the child. Watching children old enough to be potty trained yell and scream at their mother to “take off your shirt” (yes, I’ve watched this happen) and the mother proceeds to nurse on demand, is painful to watch. Babies need moms and need breast milk, but if your kid can eat a sandwich, you are putting your boob in their mouth for YOU, or them.

I'm breastfeeding an almost 4 y/o, and I've never judged anyone for feeding their kids - breast milk, formula, or both.
Outside blatant neglect or child abuse, I judge laziness or not going the extra mile For example, I heard things like I hate blueberries so I never buy blueberries, even if my kids like them.

That is for your needs, not the child's at this point.

Interesting! I breastfed my child twice a day until he was about 25 months old (so shortly after 2) when he quit on his own. What is the specific sexual abuse?

Agree with the first pp. extending breastfeeding is gross and weird and done solely to meet the emotional needs of the mom. If your child can eat food and also ask for your boob in a full sentence you’ve let it go on too long.

I judge people who let their young toddler watch videos on a cell phone or tablet 24/7.

+1 child is three and obsessed with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and ice cream. She has no interest in breastfeeding at this point and no need for it. It’s a hang up of the mother at this point. Can’t imagine an almost four year old hanging off a boob, judging so so hard.

I would have a hard time with my child being obsessed with junk food. We don't really eat processed sugar or bread. The lady who cooks for us makes homemade ice cream with grass-fed milk sometimes, as a very special treat, but my kids never ask for junk food.
Could be a reason why we're all tall and thin.

https://fn.bmj.com/content/87/3/F193

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think I am judged because I work full-time.

I definitely judge anyone who is judgmental about either super complex issues (like WOH/SAH, etc.) or things that are irrelevant (kids sports schedules). Like the sports-schedule-judging PP above, that's a stupid thing to judge and I judge you for it.

pp here- I judge you for being judgmental of my judging (and for saying it's a "stupid" thing to judge). A lot of these things are stupid--otherwise it wouldn't be called "judging" it would called universal common sense (vaccinate your kids, secure your firearms, don't hit, etc.).