DH texting much younger woman on Signal, should I worry?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember your thread, and I think I replied on it.

My response is the same. I spent a number of years in Eastern Europe, and I am familiar with the cultural attitudes toward young women/older men AND I watched a number of expat marriages implode due to middle aged (or older) men having affairs with young women who threw themselves at them.

You have good reason to worry. I would never, ever have just let this go, and I'm not surprised it is progressing in this way.

Your DH's age means nothing in this situation.

Is it a cultural thing that young Eastern european women are into old men?

In the two EE countries where I lived, relationships were not based so much on the guy being young and hot. It was more about whether he was a good provider who could take care of her. In one of the EE countries (I lived there for 5 years), men had a vastly shorter predicted lifespan due to widespread alcohol use (also cultural). To put it simply, there was a lot more competition for the good guys. And most people lived in relative poverty. If you grow up in that culture, your perspective is going to be different from that of a middle class white American girl who grew up in a comfy suburb with everything she needed/wanted. In that culture, a young hot guy who is an alcoholic or who lives in a tiny, dark Soviet era flat and isn't ever getting out is simply not something you would see as desirable. An older, established guy who can take care of you and offer a better life is going to be a great pick and there will be tons of young women competing for him. Nobody is commenting on his age.

Again, I saw this play out so many times with expat couples where the middle aged or older man had an affair with one or more of the gorgeous young women who swarmed him. These guys never got that kind of attention in the US. The girls were happy to have an older, paunchy American husband who offered them a standard of living beyond anything they could have hoped for if they stuck with "young hot" guys they knew from school or their (ugly, cramped, overpopulated) blocks of flats.

The way you think of and assess mates is completely different.

Did they leave their wives?

Yes, always. I saw this happen multiple times. Each time, the man was besotted with his young girlfriend, and each time, the humiliated American wife ended up moving home while the husband remarried his young girlfriend and enjoyed no change in social status among the expat community. It was very disheartening to watch how the other US men, married or not, really seemed to admire the man who had hooked up with a hot young EE girlfriend and discarded his middle aged wife. Before I left the US, I would never have imagined that this would be the case, to this degree. They had all seemed to be happily married, settled fathers prior to dumping their wives overseas. A lot of times the affairs wrecked their relationships with their children, but they didn't seem to care.

They usually had a new baby to start their new family fairly quickly, though were not pregnant at time of marriage. The girls really wanted a family experience.

The worst case was when a middle aged American man actually worked two offices down from his middle aged American wife. He started a blatant affair with a 21 year old EE secretary, and made no attempt to hide it when he moved out of the house he shared with his wife. She moved home and he married the young girl. He still works in the same job in that country. They have two young children now.

Yes, this culture does explain Melania. No woman in Eastern Europe thinks a stable provider is less than a catch, no matter what he looks like. They just don't have the same priorities.

I suppose I can understand the mindset, having seen the way many of these girls and their families grew up. But no way would I be happy if my DH were messaging one of them or hanging out with her, or showing her special attention. I know where that leads.

I have worked with these EE women and the nasty men who marry them and saw first hand affairs go down and trailing male spouses marry these women and settle down. Two observations:
1. It is about more than money and security. These women love duping dumb Americans. They also love making old American women jealous. When you are upset they are super trilled!!!

2. We think you old men with young women are disgusting. We (I’m Ukrainian, FWIW) think the woman are low-rent girls from the village with no education who could do no more than lay in their backs to get ahead.

I remember reading a magazine article years ago about American men who travel to places like Ukraine specifically to find wives. They often believe the women there treated them better than American women ever did.

[Anonymous]

I remember reading a magazine article years ago about American men who travel to places like Ukraine specifically to find wives. They often believe the women there treated them better than American women ever did.

This did use to be the case, but is far far less common now. However, as someone who has spent years in that region, I will note that PP's assessment of how people gauge partners is spot-on, as is their assessment of how North American men act in such a climate.

I saw men who I would have sworn were solid and committed partners just lose their minds when they realized that the women they could attract in Eastern Europe were "higher status" than women they were with. Up to and including grown-ass men dating girls. Not women, girls. They would tell themselves and anyone who would listen that it was cultural, but it was actually just gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a previous poster here from a few months back, about DH, who is in his mid 60s, being overly close with our neighbor, a 30 year old woman from Eastern Europe.

My thoughts were always that if she were a classic golddigger, she'd have a lot more obvious choices. All of our friends really like her, but it bothered me that DH would always go so out of his way to help her with things. Her affection toward him seemed inappropriate. Nobody else seemed to feel this way or notice anything. Anyways, I let it go, especially since it appeared that she was seeing someone (her own age), until the other day I noticed DH got a message on his phone from her through the Signal app.

What is this? What does she possibly need to talk with him about in private? Why are they using Signal?

what part of North Africa are you living in OP? That's where Signal has it's largest amount of users

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I have worked with these EE women and the nasty men who marry them and saw first hand affairs go down and trailing male spouses marry these women and settle down. Two observations:
1. It is about more than money and security. These women love duping dumb Americans. They also love making old American women jealous. When you are upset they are super trilled!!!

2. We think you old men with young women are disgusting. We (I’m Ukrainian, FWIW) think the woman are low-rent girls from the village with no education who could do no more than lay in their backs to get ahead.

I lived in Ukraine for years, and agree with the second point. The educated women don't marry western men just to marry them. They either marry Americans for love (yes, I saw it a lot) and move west and make their own way. I saw a ton of wife-seeking men while I was living there, and they are so gross. I always felt sorry for the women who ended up with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember your thread, and I think I replied on it.

My response is the same. I spent a number of years in Eastern Europe, and I am familiar with the cultural attitudes toward young women/older men AND I watched a number of expat marriages implode due to middle aged (or older) men having affairs with young women who threw themselves at them.

You have good reason to worry. I would never, ever have just let this go, and I'm not surprised it is progressing in this way.

Your DH's age means nothing in this situation.

Is it a cultural thing that young Eastern european women are into old men?

In the two EE countries where I lived, relationships were not based so much on the guy being young and hot. It was more about whether he was a good provider who could take care of her. In one of the EE countries (I lived there for 5 years), men had a vastly shorter predicted lifespan due to widespread alcohol use (also cultural). To put it simply, there was a lot more competition for the good guys. And most people lived in relative poverty. If you grow up in that culture, your perspective is going to be different from that of a middle class white American girl who grew up in a comfy suburb with everything she needed/wanted. In that culture, a young hot guy who is an alcoholic or who lives in a tiny, dark Soviet era flat and isn't ever getting out is simply not something you would see as desirable. An older, established guy who can take care of you and offer a better life is going to be a great pick and there will be tons of young women competing for him. Nobody is commenting on his age.

Again, I saw this play out so many times with expat couples where the middle aged or older man had an affair with one or more of the gorgeous young women who swarmed him. These guys never got that kind of attention in the US. The girls were happy to have an older, paunchy American husband who offered them a standard of living beyond anything they could have hoped for if they stuck with "young hot" guys they knew from school or their (ugly, cramped, overpopulated) blocks of flats.

The way you think of and assess mates is completely different.

Did they leave their wives?

Yes, always. I saw this happen multiple times. Each time, the man was besotted with his young girlfriend, and each time, the humiliated American wife ended up moving home while the husband remarried his young girlfriend and enjoyed no change in social status among the expat community. It was very disheartening to watch how the other US men, married or not, really seemed to admire the man who had hooked up with a hot young EE girlfriend and discarded his middle aged wife. Before I left the US, I would never have imagined that this would be the case, to this degree. They had all seemed to be happily married, settled fathers prior to dumping their wives overseas. A lot of times the affairs wrecked their relationships with their children, but they didn't seem to care.

They usually had a new baby to start their new family fairly quickly, though were not pregnant at time of marriage. The girls really wanted a family experience.

The worst case was when a middle aged American man actually worked two offices down from his middle aged American wife. He started a blatant affair with a 21 year old EE secretary, and made no attempt to hide it when he moved out of the house he shared with his wife. She moved home and he married the young girl. He still works in the same job in that country. They have two young children now.

Yes, this culture does explain Melania. No woman in Eastern Europe thinks a stable provider is less than a catch, no matter what he looks like. They just don't have the same priorities.

I suppose I can understand the mindset, having seen the way many of these girls and their families grew up. But no way would I be happy if my DH were messaging one of them or hanging out with her, or showing her special attention. I know where that leads.

I have worked with these EE women and the nasty men who marry them and saw first hand affairs go down and trailing male spouses marry these women and settle down. Two observations:
1. It is about more than money and security. These women love duping dumb Americans. They also love making old American women jealous. When you are upset they are super trilled!!!

2. We think you old men with young women are disgusting. We (I’m Ukrainian, FWIW) think the woman are low-rent girls from the village with no education who could do no more than lay in their backs to get ahead.

You sure are jealous and racist against EE women. Plenty of low rent people everywhere, on this board in fact.

If you have a spouse that cheats, you've married a low rent person right there. That's the bigger problem IMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember your thread, and I think I replied on it.

My response is the same. I spent a number of years in Eastern Europe, and I am familiar with the cultural attitudes toward young women/older men AND I watched a number of expat marriages implode due to middle aged (or older) men having affairs with young women who threw themselves at them.

You have good reason to worry. I would never, ever have just let this go, and I'm not surprised it is progressing in this way.

Your DH's age means nothing in this situation.

Is it a cultural thing that young Eastern european women are into old men?

In the two EE countries where I lived, relationships were not based so much on the guy being young and hot. It was more about whether he was a good provider who could take care of her. In one of the EE countries (I lived there for 5 years), men had a vastly shorter predicted lifespan due to widespread alcohol use (also cultural). To put it simply, there was a lot more competition for the good guys. And most people lived in relative poverty. If you grow up in that culture, your perspective is going to be different from that of a middle class white American girl who grew up in a comfy suburb with everything she needed/wanted. In that culture, a young hot guy who is an alcoholic or who lives in a tiny, dark Soviet era flat and isn't ever getting out is simply not something you would see as desirable. An older, established guy who can take care of you and offer a better life is going to be a great pick and there will be tons of young women competing for him. Nobody is commenting on his age.

Again, I saw this play out so many times with expat couples where the middle aged or older man had an affair with one or more of the gorgeous young women who swarmed him. These guys never got that kind of attention in the US. The girls were happy to have an older, paunchy American husband who offered them a standard of living beyond anything they could have hoped for if they stuck with "young hot" guys they knew from school or their (ugly, cramped, overpopulated) blocks of flats.

The way you think of and assess mates is completely different.

Did they leave their wives?

Yes, always. I saw this happen multiple times. Each time, the man was besotted with his young girlfriend, and each time, the humiliated American wife ended up moving home while the husband remarried his young girlfriend and enjoyed no change in social status among the expat community. It was very disheartening to watch how the other US men, married or not, really seemed to admire the man who had hooked up with a hot young EE girlfriend and discarded his middle aged wife. Before I left the US, I would never have imagined that this would be the case, to this degree. They had all seemed to be happily married, settled fathers prior to dumping their wives overseas. A lot of times the affairs wrecked their relationships with their children, but they didn't seem to care.

They usually had a new baby to start their new family fairly quickly, though were not pregnant at time of marriage. The girls really wanted a family experience.

The worst case was when a middle aged American man actually worked two offices down from his middle aged American wife. He started a blatant affair with a 21 year old EE secretary, and made no attempt to hide it when he moved out of the house he shared with his wife. She moved home and he married the young girl. He still works in the same job in that country. They have two young children now.

Yes, this culture does explain Melania. No woman in Eastern Europe thinks a stable provider is less than a catch, no matter what he looks like. They just don't have the same priorities.

I suppose I can understand the mindset, having seen the way many of these girls and their families grew up. But no way would I be happy if my DH were messaging one of them or hanging out with her, or showing her special attention. I know where that leads.

I have worked with these EE women and the nasty men who marry them and saw first hand affairs go down and trailing male spouses marry these women and settle down. Two observations:
1. It is about more than money and security. These women love duping dumb Americans. They also love making old American women jealous. When you are upset they are super trilled!!!

2. We think you old men with young women are disgusting. We (I’m Ukrainian, FWIW) think the woman are low-rent girls from the village with no education who could do no more than lay in their backs to get ahead.

I remember reading a magazine article years ago about American men who travel to places like Ukraine specifically to find wives. They often believe the women there treated them better than American women ever did.

Those same type of men import them from everywhere. Low-life men come in every package, nothing new there. Nothing to do with OP because her neighbors race or where she comes from isn't the problem. Your obsession with EE women is a little disturbing though...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Vanity Fair article on Melania, her upbringing and her parents’ relationship was extremely insightful on why Melania probably married Trump. And she’s not stupid, she wasn’t fooled into that marriage. If you’re wondering why an attractive woman from an Eastern European country would enter into a marriage like that or be attracted to someone old enough to be their father, read it. This could be what is happening to OP

OP, take screen shots or photos from your own phone as evidence.

Women do it here left and right. They target a not so attractive man because he's easy pickens. Married or not.

Most probably want a better lifestyle for them and their kids. An established older man will be willing to provide that for youth and sex. It's rarely about love, though the older man sadly thinks it is. Her DH is loving the attention, and the excitement from a con artist. Doesn't matter where the twit is from, it's everywhere!

Also, Many more unattractive men than DT. Look at that Kelly Conway's husband, tell me what that's about. Both have great careers, but for the life of me.....again you never really know why couples marry or stay together. If it works that's great.

Kelly Conway is in no way attractive. That comparison has no bearing on the Melania/DT situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Vanity Fair article on Melania, her upbringing and her parents’ relationship was extremely insightful on why Melania probably married Trump. And she’s not stupid, she wasn’t fooled into that marriage. If you’re wondering why an attractive woman from an Eastern European country would enter into a marriage like that or be attracted to someone old enough to be their father, read it. This could be what is happening to OP

OP, take screen shots or photos from your own phone as evidence.

Women do it here left and right. They target a not so attractive man because he's easy pickens. Married or not.

Most probably want a better lifestyle for them and their kids. An established older man will be willing to provide that for youth and sex. It's rarely about love, though the older man sadly thinks it is. Her DH is loving the attention, and the excitement from a con artist. Doesn't matter where the twit is from, it's everywhere!

Also, Many more unattractive men than DT. Look at that Kelly Conway's husband, tell me what that's about. Both have great careers, but for the life of me.....again you never really know why couples marry or stay together. If it works that's great.

Kelly Conway is in no way attractive. That comparison has no bearing on the Melania/DT situation.

For her husband she is! DT is a average old guy, he's hitting 70 fyi.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Vanity Fair article on Melania, her upbringing and her parents’ relationship was extremely insightful on why Melania probably married Trump. And she’s not stupid, she wasn’t fooled into that marriage. If you’re wondering why an attractive woman from an Eastern European country would enter into a marriage like that or be attracted to someone old enough to be their father, read it. This could be what is happening to OP

OP, take screen shots or photos from your own phone as evidence.

Women do it here left and right. They target a not so attractive man because he's easy pickens. Married or not.

Most probably want a better lifestyle for them and their kids. An established older man will be willing to provide that for youth and sex. It's rarely about love, though the older man sadly thinks it is. Her DH is loving the attention, and the excitement from a con artist. Doesn't matter where the twit is from, it's everywhere!

Also, Many more unattractive men than DT. Look at that Kelly Conway's husband, tell me what that's about. Both have great careers, but for the life of me.....again you never really know why couples marry or stay together. If it works that's great.

Kelly Conway is in no way attractive. That comparison has no bearing on the Melania/DT situation.

For her husband she is! DT is a average old guy, he's hitting 70 fyi.

Kellyanne Conway is not attractive but she looks like she could have been when she was younger and looking less like a skeletor coke addict.

Trump does not look like an average old guy. He's obese and orange with stupid hair and tiny hands. He's hideous. There are 70 year olds who are still in shape or who at least age with grace and dignity. It's not only Trump's personality and politics that makes him unattractive. It's the fact that he's VERY fat and tries to deny it, he has gross white bags under his eyes that clash with fake orange skin, a turkey neck and a mouth that looks like a sphincter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Vanity Fair article on Melania, her upbringing and her parents’ relationship was extremely insightful on why Melania probably married Trump. And she’s not stupid, she wasn’t fooled into that marriage. If you’re wondering why an attractive woman from an Eastern European country would enter into a marriage like that or be attracted to someone old enough to be their father, read it. This could be what is happening to OP

OP, take screen shots or photos from your own phone as evidence.

Women do it here left and right. They target a not so attractive man because he's easy pickens. Married or not.

Most probably want a better lifestyle for them and their kids. An established older man will be willing to provide that for youth and sex. It's rarely about love, though the older man sadly thinks it is. Her DH is loving the attention, and the excitement from a con artist. Doesn't matter where the twit is from, it's everywhere!

Also, Many more unattractive men than DT. Look at that Kelly Conway's husband, tell me what that's about. Both have great careers, but for the life of me.....again you never really know why couples marry or stay together. If it works that's great.

Kelly Conway is in no way attractive. That comparison has no bearing on the Melania/DT situation.

For her husband she is! DT is a average old guy, he's hitting 70 fyi.

Totally agree. DT may not be attractive now. But when he was 20-40s he was not gross. Honestly at that age -hundreds of men who were grosser. Harvey Weinstein is one. DT at same age was better looking. You had to make this political- original DT person. I’m not saying DT is hot but he was an average looking man until the last 15 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Vanity Fair article on Melania, her upbringing and her parents’ relationship was extremely insightful on why Melania probably married Trump. And she’s not stupid, she wasn’t fooled into that marriage. If you’re wondering why an attractive woman from an Eastern European country would enter into a marriage like that or be attracted to someone old enough to be their father, read it. This could be what is happening to OP

OP, take screen shots or photos from your own phone as evidence.

Women do it here left and right. They target a not so attractive man because he's easy pickens. Married or not.

Most probably want a better lifestyle for them and their kids. An established older man will be willing to provide that for youth and sex. It's rarely about love, though the older man sadly thinks it is. Her DH is loving the attention, and the excitement from a con artist. Doesn't matter where the twit is from, it's everywhere!

Also, Many more unattractive men than DT. Look at that Kelly Conway's husband, tell me what that's about. Both have great careers, but for the life of me.....again you never really know why couples marry or stay together. If it works that's great.

Kelly Conway is in no way attractive. That comparison has no bearing on the Melania/DT situation.

For her husband she is! DT is a average old guy, he's hitting 70 fyi.

Totally agree. DT may not be attractive now. But when he was 20-40s he was not gross. Honestly at that age -hundreds of men who were grosser. Harvey Weinstein is one. DT at same age was better looking. You had to make this political- original DT person. I’m not saying DT is hot but he was an average looking man until the last 15 years.

They got married 14 years ago, so I'm not sure which side of the "she married an objectively gross man for money" argument that puts you on.

But let's hear it from the source! The year they got married she straight up told an audience she'd traded her beauty for his money. https://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/13/business/media/no-seriously-save-the-bananas.html

FINAL TAKE -- It's not clear why she was there, but according to this month's Glamour, Donald Trump's wife, the model Melania Knauss, recently found herself addressing a New York University business school class.

Showing an attitude that would probably have been judged inappropriate on Mr. Trump's television show, "The Apprentice," one student asked the current Mrs. Trump -- she is No.3 for those keeping score -- if her husband weren't rich, would she still be with him.

Her response? "If I weren't beautiful, do you think he'd be with me?" PAUL B. BROWN

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I remember reading a magazine article years ago about American men who travel to places like Ukraine specifically to find wives. They often believe the women there treated them better than American women ever did.

This did use to be the case, but is far far less common now. However, as someone who has spent years in that region, I will note that PP's assessment of how people gauge partners is spot-on, as is their assessment of how North American men act in such a climate.

I saw men who I would have sworn were solid and committed partners just lose their minds when they realized that the women they could attract in Eastern Europe were "higher status" than women they were with. Up to and including grown-ass men dating girls. Not women, girls. They would tell themselves and anyone who would listen that it was cultural, but it was actually just gross.

No, it isn't. I worked in Kyiv for a long time (left very recently) and it was VERY common to see Western men there to meet women. Or "meet" them. There ARE still the big tour operations where Western men pay for a package and arrive to be introduced to dozens, sometimes hundreds, of gorgeous women who want to be picked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Vanity Fair article on Melania, her upbringing and her parents’ relationship was extremely insightful on why Melania probably married Trump. And she’s not stupid, she wasn’t fooled into that marriage. If you’re wondering why an attractive woman from an Eastern European country would enter into a marriage like that or be attracted to someone old enough to be their father, read it. This could be what is happening to OP

OP, take screen shots or photos from your own phone as evidence.

Women do it here left and right. They target a not so attractive man because he's easy pickens. Married or not.

Most probably want a better lifestyle for them and their kids. An established older man will be willing to provide that for youth and sex. It's rarely about love, though the older man sadly thinks it is. Her DH is loving the attention, and the excitement from a con artist. Doesn't matter where the twit is from, it's everywhere!

Also, Many more unattractive men than DT. Look at that Kelly Conway's husband, tell me what that's about. Both have great careers, but for the life of me.....again you never really know why couples marry or stay together. If it works that's great.

Kelly Conway is in no way attractive. That comparison has no bearing on the Melania/DT situation.

For her husband she is! DT is a average old guy, he's hitting 70 fyi.

Totally agree. DT may not be attractive now. But when he was 20-40s he was not gross. Honestly at that age -hundreds of men who were grosser. Harvey Weinstein is one. DT at same age was better looking. You had to make this political- original DT person. I’m not saying DT is hot but he was an average looking man until the last 15 years.

They got married 14 years ago, so I'm not sure which side of the "she married an objectively gross man for money" argument that puts you on.

But let's hear it from the source! The year they got married she straight up told an audience she'd traded her beauty for his money. https://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/13/business/media/no-seriously-save-the-bananas.html

FINAL TAKE -- It's not clear why she was there, but according to this month's Glamour, Donald Trump's wife, the model Melania Knauss, recently found herself addressing a New York University business school class.

Showing an attitude that would probably have been judged inappropriate on Mr. Trump's television show, "The Apprentice," one student asked the current Mrs. Trump -- she is No.3 for those keeping score -- if her husband weren't rich, would she still be with him.

Her response? "If I weren't beautiful, do you think he'd be with me?" PAUL B. BROWN

Exactly. This doesn't have to be politically biased statement to say that Melania married Donald for money. Some people are okay with that transaction. Some people think that's the way it should be and that's the way the world works, given the Eastern European cases here.

There is a reason why there is a common thread between Donald Trump, lonely incels posting Pepe memes, the "manosphere" and "red pill" blogs like Return of Kings, and reverence for Vladimir Putin and Eastern European women. They all validate each other's entitlement to beautiful women by asserting themselves as alpha males, whether deserved or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember your thread, and I think I replied on it.

My response is the same. I spent a number of years in Eastern Europe, and I am familiar with the cultural attitudes toward young women/older men AND I watched a number of expat marriages implode due to middle aged (or older) men having affairs with young women who threw themselves at them.

You have good reason to worry. I would never, ever have just let this go, and I'm not surprised it is progressing in this way.

Your DH's age means nothing in this situation.

Is it a cultural thing that young Eastern european women are into old men?

In the two EE countries where I lived, relationships were not based so much on the guy being young and hot. It was more about whether he was a good provider who could take care of her. In one of the EE countries (I lived there for 5 years), men had a vastly shorter predicted lifespan due to widespread alcohol use (also cultural). To put it simply, there was a lot more competition for the good guys. And most people lived in relative poverty. If you grow up in that culture, your perspective is going to be different from that of a middle class white American girl who grew up in a comfy suburb with everything she needed/wanted. In that culture, a young hot guy who is an alcoholic or who lives in a tiny, dark Soviet era flat and isn't ever getting out is simply not something you would see as desirable. An older, established guy who can take care of you and offer a better life is going to be a great pick and there will be tons of young women competing for him. Nobody is commenting on his age.

Again, I saw this play out so many times with expat couples where the middle aged or older man had an affair with one or more of the gorgeous young women who swarmed him. These guys never got that kind of attention in the US. The girls were happy to have an older, paunchy American husband who offered them a standard of living beyond anything they could have hoped for if they stuck with "young hot" guys they knew from school or their (ugly, cramped, overpopulated) blocks of flats.

The way you think of and assess mates is completely different.

Did they leave their wives?

Yes, always. I saw this happen multiple times. Each time, the man was besotted with his young girlfriend, and each time, the humiliated American wife ended up moving home while the husband remarried his young girlfriend and enjoyed no change in social status among the expat community. It was very disheartening to watch how the other US men, married or not, really seemed to admire the man who had hooked up with a hot young EE girlfriend and discarded his middle aged wife. Before I left the US, I would never have imagined that this would be the case, to this degree. They had all seemed to be happily married, settled fathers prior to dumping their wives overseas. A lot of times the affairs wrecked their relationships with their children, but they didn't seem to care.

They usually had a new baby to start their new family fairly quickly, though were not pregnant at time of marriage. The girls really wanted a family experience.

The worst case was when a middle aged American man actually worked two offices down from his middle aged American wife. He started a blatant affair with a 21 year old EE secretary, and made no attempt to hide it when he moved out of the house he shared with his wife. She moved home and he married the young girl. He still works in the same job in that country. They have two young children now.

Yes, this culture does explain Melania. No woman in Eastern Europe thinks a stable provider is less than a catch, no matter what he looks like. They just don't have the same priorities.

I suppose I can understand the mindset, having seen the way many of these girls and their families grew up. But no way would I be happy if my DH were messaging one of them or hanging out with her, or showing her special attention. I know where that leads.

I have worked with these EE women and the nasty men who marry them and saw first hand affairs go down and trailing male spouses marry these women and settle down. Two observations:
1. It is about more than money and security. These women love duping dumb Americans. They also love making old American women jealous. When you are upset they are super trilled!!!

2. We think you old men with young women are disgusting. We (I’m Ukrainian, FWIW) think the woman are low-rent girls from the village with no education who could do no more than lay in their backs to get ahead.

You sure are jealous and racist against EE women. Plenty of low rent people everywhere, on this board in fact.

If you have a spouse that cheats, you've married a low rent person right there. That's the bigger problem IMO.

1. YOU are rather arrogantly eager to dismiss the unfortunate, grinding poverty and injustices with which many people grow up and live. These are the reasons for the way they view dating and mating. Insisting that women everywhere have the same opportunities and goals is horribly misogynistic, and only shows off your own ignorance. Have you lived in EE? No? Then learn a little bit from people who have.

2. And having seen all of this play out in EE, I would disagree with the term "low rent." Yes, many of the women were poor, but I was in the capital, and many of them were college educated and generally good people. They did the best with what they had. It is very hard to get ahead in that place, especially if you are a woman. It was sad and depressing to watch, but again, I am sympathetic to the circumstances of others. I might be doing the same if I had been born into that situation.

I had friends who were locals and I went to their homes. It is a different world, and very hard, if not impossible, for most people to get out of there. Not all of those girls were malicious or just out to mess with the foreigners. Many really did want a family and a man who would love her, not drink, and provide comfort and security she could only dream about.

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Anonymous wrote:The Vanity Fair article on Melania, her upbringing and her parents’ relationship was extremely insightful on why Melania probably married Trump. And she’s not stupid, she wasn’t fooled into that marriage. If you’re wondering why an attractive woman from an Eastern European country would enter into a marriage like that or be attracted to someone old enough to be their father, read it. This could be what is happening to OP

OP, take screen shots or photos from your own phone as evidence.

Women do it here left and right. They target a not so attractive man because he's easy pickens. Married or not.

Most probably want a better lifestyle for them and their kids. An established older man will be willing to provide that for youth and sex. It's rarely about love, though the older man sadly thinks it is. Her DH is loving the attention, and the excitement from a con artist. Doesn't matter where the twit is from, it's everywhere!

Also, Many more unattractive men than DT. Look at that Kelly Conway's husband, tell me what that's about. Both have great careers, but for the life of me.....again you never really know why couples marry or stay together. If it works that's great.

Kelly Conway is in no way attractive. That comparison has no bearing on the Melania/DT situation.

For her husband she is! DT is a average old guy, he's hitting 70 fyi.

Totally agree. DT may not be attractive now. But when he was 20-40s he was not gross. Honestly at that age -hundreds of men who were grosser. Harvey Weinstein is one. DT at same age was better looking. You had to make this political- original DT person. I’m not saying DT is hot but he was an average looking man until the last 15 years.

They got married 14 years ago, so I'm not sure which side of the "she married an objectively gross man for money" argument that puts you on.

But let's hear it from the source! The year they got married she straight up told an audience she'd traded her beauty for his money. https://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/13/business/media/no-seriously-save-the-bananas.html

FINAL TAKE -- It's not clear why she was there, but according to this month's Glamour, Donald Trump's wife, the model Melania Knauss, recently found herself addressing a New York University business school class.

Showing an attitude that would probably have been judged inappropriate on Mr. Trump's television show, "The Apprentice," one student asked the current Mrs. Trump -- she is No.3 for those keeping score -- if her husband weren't rich, would she still be with him.

Her response? "If I weren't beautiful, do you think he'd be with me?" PAUL B. BROWN

I have zero problem with any of that. If I were ugly I'm sure my husband would have passed me by, LOL. If he was a guy on the off ramp I would have kept on driving. Everyone has to bring something to the table. I do remember Melania saying she would never have been attracted to Trump, but after going on a date she was surprised by his sense of humor. He made her laugh and that's a big one. She's been a classy first lady, so really nothing bad to say about her. If you don't like Trump vote again in 2020, it's how our process works. I wouldn't become unhinged about someone I didn't vote for. The tide always changes.