Reply to DH texting much younger woman on Signal, should I worry?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I remember your thread, and I think I replied on it.

My response is the same.  I spent a number of years in Eastern Europe, and I am familiar with the cultural attitudes toward young women/older men AND I watched a number of expat marriages implode due to middle aged (or older) men having affairs with young women who threw themselves at them.

You have good reason to worry.  I would never, ever have just let this go, and I'm not surprised it is progressing in this way.

Your DH's age means nothing in this situation.  [/quote]

[b]Is it a cultural thing that young Eastern european women are into old men?[/b] [/quote]

In the two EE countries where I lived, relationships were not based so much on the guy being young and hot.  It was more about whether he was a good provider who could take care of her.  In one of the EE countries (I lived there for 5 years), men had a vastly shorter predicted lifespan due to widespread alcohol use (also cultural).  To put it simply, there was a lot more competition for the good guys.  And most people lived in relative poverty.  If you grow up in that culture, your perspective is going to be different from that of a middle class white American girl who grew up in a comfy suburb with everything she needed/wanted.  In that culture, a young hot guy who is an alcoholic or who lives in a tiny, dark Soviet era flat and isn't ever getting out is simply not something you would see as desirable.  An older, established guy who can take care of you and offer a better life is going to be a great pick and there will be tons of young women competing for him.  Nobody is commenting on his age.

Again, I saw this play out so many times with expat couples where the middle aged or older man had an affair with one or more of the gorgeous young women who swarmed him.  These guys never got that kind of attention in the US.  The girls were happy to have an older, paunchy American husband who offered them a standard of living beyond anything they could have hoped for if they stuck with "young hot" guys they knew from school or their (ugly, cramped, overpopulated) blocks of flats.

The way you think of and assess mates is completely different.  [/quote]

Did they leave their wives?[/quote]

Yes, always.  I saw this happen multiple times.  Each time, the man was besotted with his young girlfriend, and each time, the humiliated American wife ended up moving home while the husband remarried his young girlfriend and enjoyed no change in social status among the expat community.  It was very disheartening to watch how the other US men, married or not, really seemed to admire the man who had hooked up with a hot young EE girlfriend and discarded his middle aged wife.  Before I left the US, I would never have imagined that this would be the case, to this degree.  They had all seemed to be happily married, settled fathers prior to dumping their wives overseas.  A lot of times the affairs wrecked their relationships with their children, but they didn't seem to care.

They usually had a new baby to start their new family fairly quickly, though were not pregnant at time of marriage.  The girls really wanted a family experience.

The worst case was when a middle aged American man actually worked two offices down from his middle aged American wife.  He started a blatant affair with a 21 year old EE secretary, and made no attempt to hide it when he moved out of the house he shared with his wife.  She moved home and he married the young girl.  He still works in the same job in that country.  They have two young children now.

Yes, this culture does explain Melania.  No woman in Eastern Europe thinks a stable provider is less than a catch, no matter what he looks like.  They just don't have the same priorities.

I suppose I can understand the mindset, having seen the way many of these girls and their families grew up.  But no way would I be happy if my DH were messaging one of them or hanging out with her, or showing her special attention.  I know where that leads.

[/quote]

I have worked with these EE women and the nasty men who marry them and saw first hand affairs go down and trailing male spouses marry these women and settle down. Two observations:
1. It is about more than money and security. These women love duping dumb Americans. They also love making old American women jealous. When you are upset they are super trilled!!!

2. We think you old men with young women are disgusting. We (I’m Ukrainian, FWIW) think the woman are low-rent girls from the village with no education who could do no more than lay in their backs to get ahead.[/quote]

You sure are jealous and racist against EE women.  Plenty of low rent people everywhere, on this board in fact.

If you have a spouse that cheats, you've married a low rent person right there. That's the bigger problem IMO.

[/quote]

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