How to find childcare for birth when you have no family or friends nearby?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your older kid in daycare? Can you talk to the teachers there and see what solutions they might offer?

That would only work if OP goes into labor overnight or weekends. She should find a SAHM she can call whenever. Someone she can pay.

Why wouldn’t this work if she goes into labor during the day? She wouldn’t need childcare until the daycare closes at which point the daycare workers would be available.

I covered for a friend who was in labor. She went into labor midday, I finished my workday, and picked up her kid and mine (she had sent home a bag with me earlier). Next day I dropped them both off.

OP may not have a kid in daycare if they moved she might not have started a job 8 months pregnant. But if she does this is a great idea.

Could you make an ad on Care.com?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would I look for an on call babysitter? I guess I would have to have a few as back up? What happens if I need childcare at 3am?

You are only four months pregnant. Anything is possible if you throw enough money at the problem. Research temp nanny agencies and try them out, I'm sure they are very used to cases like yours. Anyone will come and perform any service for you at any time if you pay enough.

[Anonymous]

You all go to the hospital together (you, your husband, and your older child), and then you just give birth with the doctors and nurses. If the baby comes that fast, that’s your best option anyway vs. waiting for someone else to become available to watch your older child, especially in the middle of the night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and take this as a warning, Op, that you really need to be making more of an effort to make friends

OP here. OMG you guys are seriously crazy. I moved to a new state 2 weeks ago. I am getting shit on because I don't have friends and apparently it's no big deal to give birth alone. Wow. Thanks so much for the advice.

You are the one who decided to move while 8 or 9 months pregnant. We aren’t the bad ones for pointing out that you e put yourself in a pretty bad situation. Either make friends, fly a family member in, or hire a babysitter. You asked, why shoot the messenger? (Also, insane pregnant people are the WORST!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and take this as a warning, Op, that you really need to be making more of an effort to make friends

OP here. OMG you guys are seriously crazy. I moved to a new state 2 weeks ago. I am getting shit on because I don't have friends and apparently it's no big deal to give birth alone. Wow. Thanks so much for the advice.

You are the one who decided to move while 8 or 9 months pregnant. We aren’t the bad ones for pointing out that you e put yourself in a pretty bad situation. Either make friends, fly a family member in, or hire a babysitter. You asked, why shoot the messenger? (Also, insane pregnant people are the WORST!)

Yeah OP is definitely the insane one on this thread...uh huh.

I moved at 8 months pregnant with my first and am likely to move at 4-6 months with my second. Sometimes life is complicated and there are not ideal choices, especially in an area like this with so many transplants. We have family about 1.5 hours away we could ask for help if we have enough time and warning, but births don't always go that way, and that is a BIG ask for new neighborhood friends, I wouldn't do it. Can we admit this can be a tough problem worth considering alternatives and not insult OP for not having a perfect life with a perfect local support system?

[Anonymous]

Just saw you were going for a scheduled c-section in which case that’s even easier. Schedule your C as early as your provider will let you - most practices let you schedule at 39 weeks and some will let you schedule in the 38th week if there are other concerns like AMA or high blood pressure, gestational diabetes, etc. That way you have much less of a chance of going into labor before your c-section date. You can hire a nanny, babysitter, etc. to stay with your younger child, which is especially easy if you know the approximate date you’ll be giving birth. Or - hire a doula to accompany you to the hospital and stay with you, and your husband stays at home with the other kid. Or even find a home day care now for your older child and ask the provider if she can watch your older kid overnight one night while you’re at the hospital, making it clear that you’ll make it worth her while, money-wise. If you are having a scheduled c-section on a certain date, you have many more options than if you go into labor on your own.

[Anonymous]

Talk to your new neighbors and/or daycare providers or other parents. We moved a couple weeks before I gave birth and I met a few moms in the neighborhood and asked them if they knew any sitters who I might be able to call in this situation.A couple told me I’d be welcome to call them in a pinch. I don’t think it’s totally weird to knock on someone’s door and say “hi, I’m Jenny - we just moved in 4 houses down. I know this is kind of odd, but we noticed the stroller on your porch and though maybe you’d be able to help us out because we don’t know anyone here and I don’t know what to do about my older child when I go into labor soon! Do you have the name of any babysitters who you think we could talk to???” If they are a decent person they’ll take pity on you, invite you over for a coffee, and tell you they can just call them!

We ended up calling my older son’s preschool teacher who we found out lived on our street. It was stressful though. Worse case, DH was prepared to take DC1 with us and hand him off to his parents who were a couple hours away. DC2 came fast, so he would have missed the birth in that case, but it would have been okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I really think you should reconsider opting for major abdominal surgery if you are a good candidate for a VBAC simply because it’s hard to find childcare. Seriously. What is going to happen when you go into labor before your scheduled C date?

What is going to happen for any of the other 900 situations with 2 kids where you need help on short notice? I just had to take my kid to the ER recently because he stuck something in his ear. Or parent teacher conferences for the older kid. You need a few friends/people/neighbors that you can call on in a pinch. It’s just part of living in society.

You think c sections only happen if they're scheduled?

Scheduled or not, c sections happen. The issue is finding care on short notice regardless of how the new baby comes out of the mother

[Anonymous]

I think people here are being rude. I’m pregnant with my second. I have friends. But it is a huge ask to have your single, childless friend, take off work to pick up your kid at daycare or in the middle of the night, and then be a surrogate parent for your kid for a couple of days.

My solution, MIL is coming early, I’m begging a few people to be a back-up.

Anyone want to tell me I need to make close friends with my neighbors who are SAHMs???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think people here are being rude. I’m pregnant with my second. I have friends. But it is a huge ask to have your single, childless friend, take off work to pick up your kid at daycare or in the middle of the night, and then be a surrogate parent for your kid for a couple of days.

My solution, MIL is coming early, I’m begging a few people to be a back-up.

Anyone want to tell me I need to make close friends with my neighbors who are SAHMs???

[Anonymous]

We were in a similar situation and hired a sibling doula (on call starting at 36 weeks) from NOVA birth partners. Worked out great!

[Anonymous]

OP, time is on your side. You've just moved. Get to know your neighbors and daycare classmates. Do you belong to a church?

Also ask around at daycare/neighbors/work about whether people have suggestions--nannies, doulas, whatever. You might be surprised and someone might volunteer. I'm single and would offer this type of help to any number of people I know--it's just not that big a deal.

[Anonymous]

21:06 again: of course I have in mind that if you ask a friend/neighbor, dad comes back to take over quite promptly. I would not expect to be on the hook for days.

Alternative if you want care for a few days: you find a friend / neighbor and your kid goes and stays with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and take this as a warning, Op, that you really need to be making more of an effort to make friends

OP here. OMG you guys are seriously crazy. I moved to a new state 2 weeks ago. I am getting shit on because I don't have friends and apparently it's no big deal to give birth alone. Wow. Thanks so much for the advice.

You are the one who decided to move while 8 or 9 months pregnant. We aren’t the bad ones for pointing out that you e put yourself in a pretty bad situation. Either make friends, fly a family member in, or hire a babysitter. You asked, why shoot the messenger? (Also, insane pregnant people are the WORST!)

YOU are the worst. Why are you picking on a pregnant woman who just moved and is having a hard time? You’re an awful person. This messenger deserves to be shot.

BAM!!

OP if I lived near you I’d help you, no problem. Take some walks around the block, meet the neighbors. Hopefully you’ll meet some decent people
Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Hire a doula in addition to a baby sitter. If the babysitter doesn’t pan out, the doula can meet you at the hospital and watch the kid.

Ask around for in home daycare providers or college age kids in your neighborhood that can be “on call”. Failing that, my back up plan was my retired neighbors across the street. If it was the middle of the night I would use them to sit on my couch while my olde child slept.