How to find childcare for birth when you have no family or friends nearby?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The baby will come be it husband is there or not. Husband stays home. Also, you may want to get some friends. Pretty sad that neither of you have one friend or coworker....

You want my husband to stay home while I give birth by myself? Are you nuts?

His work ended the moment you conceived. Stop being such a baby. My father was in the military and my mother had five children, three of them when my father was deployed and there was no family close by. She did, however, have a brain and used it by arranging MONTHS in advance for help. I am so sick of helpless women.

[Anonymous]

OP, I really think you should reconsider opting for major abdominal surgery if you are a good candidate for a VBAC simply because it’s hard to find childcare. Seriously. What is going to happen when you go into labor before your scheduled C date?

What is going to happen for any of the other 900 situations with 2 kids where you need help on short notice? I just had to take my kid to the ER recently because he stuck something in his ear. Or parent teacher conferences for the older kid. You need a few friends/people/neighbors that you can call on in a pinch. It’s just part of living in society.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1) Bring in a friend or family member

2) Use these next few months to get to know your neighbors. Then ask one of them.

3) Start building relationships with a few babysitters, especially older women where you would trust leaving your child at their home overnight. That way you don’t have to worry about them not waking up for phone call. You show up and knock/ring door bell. And college students that are used to being up late.

4) Hire a doula.

OP here. I think I may just schedule a c section. My heart isn't set on a vbac anyway. I want to try because I feel like it's the right thing to do but I'm just not excited about it. These decisions are tough and I have lots of anxiety lately.

In your case I’d absolutely schedule a C. That gives you lots of time. In the meantime you’ve got 4 months to secure 2-3 babysitters who would be options. You can so do this!

Op here. Thanks. There's really no way to know that I won't have a complicated vaginal birth. All the research says both have risks. My recovery was slow with the c section but I would do anything not to go through labor pain again.

With a history of a baby who came 6 weeks early, you have no idea if you will even make it to your scheduled date.

That's true but I am working with an obgyn office. I am sure they will take care of me should I want another c section.

Sure. And if you want a c-section, great. I have had 3 and am not against them at all. But I wouldn’t make a decision to have one because of childcare issues. You may very well go in to labor before the scheduled date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and take this as a warning, Op, that you really need to be making more of an effort to make friends

OP here. OMG you guys are seriously crazy. I moved to a new state 2 weeks ago. I am getting shit on because I don't have friends and apparently it's no big deal to give birth alone. Wow. Thanks so much for the advice.

Hire a nanny now, part time at least. This way your dc can get to know this person. How cruel of you to think about leaving that baby with a stranger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1) Bring in a friend or family member

2) Use these next few months to get to know your neighbors. Then ask one of them.

3) Start building relationships with a few babysitters, especially older women where you would trust leaving your child at their home overnight. That way you don’t have to worry about them not waking up for phone call. You show up and knock/ring door bell. And college students that are used to being up late.

4) Hire a doula.

OP here. I think I may just schedule a c section. My heart isn't set on a vbac anyway. I want to try because I feel like it's the right thing to do but I'm just not excited about it. These decisions are tough and I have lots of anxiety lately.

In your case I’d absolutely schedule a C. That gives you lots of time. In the meantime you’ve got 4 months to secure 2-3 babysitters who would be options. You can so do this!

Op here. Thanks. There's really no way to know that I won't have a complicated vaginal birth. All the research says both have risks. My recovery was slow with the c section but I would do anything not to go through labor pain again.

With a history of a baby who came 6 weeks early, you have no idea if you will even make it to your scheduled date.

That's true but I am working with an obgyn office. I am sure they will take care of me should I want another c section.

Sure. And if you want a c-section, great. I have had 3 and am not against them at all. But I wouldn’t make a decision to have one because of childcare issues. You may very well go in to labor before the scheduled date.

OP here. It's not about childcare issues at all. As I said before my heart is not in the vbac. I know this slipped out at a random time. I have lots of anixety around birth. My first one was very traumatic. I feel much better now that I got this out and decided it's best to go with a c section. Thanks for all the help.

[Anonymous]

OP, people on this thread are being over the top mean! I'm afraid I don't have a solution, I'm trying to figure the same thing out, but this level of belittling and lack of empathy is unreal. I actually read a bunch of responses to my DH and he was flabbergasted too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, people on this thread are being over the top mean! I'm afraid I don't have a solution, I'm trying to figure the same thing out, but this level of belittling and lack of empathy is unreal. I actually read a bunch of responses to my DH and he was flabbergasted too.

OP here. Hahaha. I went to a dinner party tonight with my husband's coworkers and I met a lot of nice people. I exchanged numbers with a few. Maybe I will find some friends after all. It was nice to get away from this for awhile

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, people on this thread are being over the top mean! I'm afraid I don't have a solution, I'm trying to figure the same thing out, but this level of belittling and lack of empathy is unreal. I actually read a bunch of responses to my DH and he was flabbergasted too.

I am flabbergasted that you, your husband and OP have ZERO friends. Why don’t you all just get together and watch each other’s kid on birthing day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, people on this thread are being over the top mean! I'm afraid I don't have a solution, I'm trying to figure the same thing out, but this level of belittling and lack of empathy is unreal. I actually read a bunch of responses to my DH and he was flabbergasted too.

OP here. Hahaha. I went to a dinner party tonight with my husband's coworkers and I met a lot of nice people. I exchanged numbers with a few. Maybe I will find some friends after all. It was nice to get away from this for awhile

Umm and where was your child?

[Anonymous]

OP insulting posters on here when they try to help you and you are asking for advice is not ideal. We don’t know your backstory.

I understand your comfort with hired help and know grace is hard to come by at the end of pregnancy but try.
In your shoes I would be prepared to bleed money. Try a nanny agency. Get five nannies for the day for your child or children. Of the three you like best see if they want the job of caring for your kids on call. Expect to pay $400 per day. Get their numbers and call them in order when the time comes. Have a back up plan.

You might also look around for a baby nurse and see if you can find one who can start early. But that’s might require more personal networking than you seem willing to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I really think you should reconsider opting for major abdominal surgery if you are a good candidate for a VBAC simply because it’s hard to find childcare. Seriously. What is going to happen when you go into labor before your scheduled C date?

What is going to happen for any of the other 900 situations with 2 kids where you need help on short notice? I just had to take my kid to the ER recently because he stuck something in his ear. Or parent teacher conferences for the older kid. You need a few friends/people/neighbors that you can call on in a pinch. It’s just part of living in society.

You think c sections only happen if they're scheduled?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, people on this thread are being over the top mean! I'm afraid I don't have a solution, I'm trying to figure the same thing out, but this level of belittling and lack of empathy is unreal. I actually read a bunch of responses to my DH and he was flabbergasted too.

I am flabbergasted that you, your husband and OP have ZERO friends. Why don’t you all just get together and watch each other’s kid on birthing day?

You're flabbergasted that people relocate all the time and do not have friends right away. You sound dumb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP insulting posters on here when they try to help you and you are asking for advice is not ideal. We don’t know your backstory.

I understand your comfort with hired help and know grace is hard to come by at the end of pregnancy but try.
In your shoes I would be prepared to bleed money. Try a nanny agency. Get five nannies for the day for your child or children. Of the three you like best see if they want the job of caring for your kids on call. Expect to pay $400 per day. Get their numbers and call them in order when the time comes. Have a back up plan.

You might also look around for a baby nurse and see if you can find one who can start early. But that’s might require more personal networking than you seem willing to do.

Look I don't need advice. Bye bitches bye

your post said otherwise. We all see why you have no friends...

Pp your advice is crazy. She should just hire a doula. $400 per day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP insulting posters on here when they try to help you and you are asking for advice is not ideal. We don’t know your backstory.

I understand your comfort with hired help and know grace is hard to come by at the end of pregnancy but try.
In your shoes I would be prepared to bleed money. Try a nanny agency. Get five nannies for the day for your child or children. Of the three you like best see if they want the job of caring for your kids on call. Expect to pay $400 per day. Get their numbers and call them in order when the time comes. Have a back up plan.

You might also look around for a baby nurse and see if you can find one who can start early. But that’s might require more personal networking than you seem willing to do.

Look I don't need advice. Bye bitches bye

your post said otherwise. We all see why you have no friends...

OP here. I do have friends just not in the area I moved to 2 weeks ago. I definitely don't want friends like the woman on this forum. Woman just love to shit on each other. Some of the responses have just been downright nasty. Someone said I was lying when I mentioned my mom passed away and MIL is abroad. Another person called me helpless because I want my husband ( who isn't deployed) there during the birth. I don't know why I bother with this place. People are obviously unhappy and miserable.

[Anonymous]

NP. I was in the same position as you, OP.

We ended up getting someone on care.com, or at least we thought we did... we had a long video chat, was all set, discussed everything, agreed on pay, arranged for her to do a couple hours (paid) with the kids a few days before to meet them so they were comfortable, and then got a last minute text basically "sorry, won't be able to make it this afternoon, decided to go on a road trip with friends this weekend instead, therefore you'll also need to find someone for the birth next week too. bye.". I was so shocked, DH was so shocked, we really thought she seemed trustworthy and had a couple of legit 5 star reviews.

Had to beg the only person we knew in this side of the country to make a VERY long drive to stay with us. Horrible and stressful.