How to find childcare for birth when you have no family or friends nearby?

[Anonymous]

OP surely there is time to meet and get to know your neighbors. Are there other people with small kids on your street? Not quite the same but we offered to watch our new neighbors’ dog while they were in the hospital, but if they had older kids we would have been glad to be emergency on call help.

Does your child have childcare now? Or any babysitters? At 4 months pregnant you have time- not tons of time, but enough time to figure something out.

[Anonymous]

1) Bring in a friend or family member

2) Use these next few months to get to know your neighbors. Then ask one of them.

3) Start building relationships with a few babysitters, especially older women where you would trust leaving your child at their home overnight. That way you don’t have to worry about them not waking up for phone call. You show up and knock/ring door bell. And college students that are used to being up late.

4) Hire a doula.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1) Bring in a friend or family member

2) Use these next few months to get to know your neighbors. Then ask one of them.

3) Start building relationships with a few babysitters, especially older women where you would trust leaving your child at their home overnight. That way you don’t have to worry about them not waking up for phone call. You show up and knock/ring door bell. And college students that are used to being up late.

4) Hire a doula.

OP here. I think I may just schedule a c section. My heart isn't set on a vbac anyway. I want to try because I feel like it's the right thing to do but I'm just not excited about it. These decisions are tough and I have lots of anxiety lately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1) Bring in a friend or family member

2) Use these next few months to get to know your neighbors. Then ask one of them.

3) Start building relationships with a few babysitters, especially older women where you would trust leaving your child at their home overnight. That way you don’t have to worry about them not waking up for phone call. You show up and knock/ring door bell. And college students that are used to being up late.

4) Hire a doula.

OP here. I think I may just schedule a c section. My heart isn't set on a vbac anyway. I want to try because I feel like it's the right thing to do but I'm just not excited about it. These decisions are tough and I have lots of anxiety lately.

In your case I’d absolutely schedule a C. That gives you lots of time. In the meantime you’ve got 4 months to secure 2-3 babysitters who would be options. You can so do this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and take this as a warning, Op, that you really need to be making more of an effort to make friends

OP here. OMG you guys are seriously crazy. I moved to a new state 2 weeks ago. I am getting shit on because I don't have friends and apparently it's no big deal to give birth alone. Wow. Thanks so much for the advice.

Can you pay for family member to come? Was in in similar situation. We bought ticket for sister.

[Anonymous]

NOVA Birth Partners sibling doula! Had a great experience with them this year when we were in the same situation. (We are in DC, they aren't limited to VA.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can your mom or MIL come before your due date so they are there to help out?

My mom passed away and MIL has a fear of flying. She's abroad. I only have DH.

I second the doula recommendation-we had one and it was really helpful. Husband was abroad and I was worried. They had great contacts for anything I needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1) Bring in a friend or family member

2) Use these next few months to get to know your neighbors. Then ask one of them.

3) Start building relationships with a few babysitters, especially older women where you would trust leaving your child at their home overnight. That way you don’t have to worry about them not waking up for phone call. You show up and knock/ring door bell. And college students that are used to being up late.

4) Hire a doula.

OP here. I think I may just schedule a c section. My heart isn't set on a vbac anyway. I want to try because I feel like it's the right thing to do but I'm just not excited about it. These decisions are tough and I have lots of anxiety lately.

In your case I’d absolutely schedule a C. That gives you lots of time. In the meantime you’ve got 4 months to secure 2-3 babysitters who would be options. You can so do this!

Op here. Thanks. There's really no way to know that I won't have a complicated vaginal birth. All the research says both have risks. My recovery was slow with the c section but I would do anything not to go through labor pain again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fly in family. A cousin, MIL, mom, sister, SIL, aunt?

Op here. There's my dad but I didn't make it to my due date last time. My son was six weeks early. How do people arrange this? Have family come for the last few weeks? I think our best bet will be hired help. I am sure I can make friends but I don't know if I would feel comfortable asking for babysitting unless the relationship got really close. I don't see that happening. Friendships take time. I am 4 months pregnant now.

My first arrived a few months early, so with my subsequent babies, I had a bunch of people lined up since I had no idea when it would happen. It worked out each time. My plan was always to get that person to my house ASAP as well as to call my mother and buy her a plane ticket to arrive that day or the next day.

[Anonymous]

I still think you should talk to the daycare people if your older kid is in daycare because presumably you have vetted them already and they may be willing to help out.

[Anonymous]

Care.com

Sorry people on here are being turds. Try care.com, you should be able to find someone to be on-call there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1) Bring in a friend or family member

2) Use these next few months to get to know your neighbors. Then ask one of them.

3) Start building relationships with a few babysitters, especially older women where you would trust leaving your child at their home overnight. That way you don’t have to worry about them not waking up for phone call. You show up and knock/ring door bell. And college students that are used to being up late.

4) Hire a doula.

OP here. I think I may just schedule a c section. My heart isn't set on a vbac anyway. I want to try because I feel like it's the right thing to do but I'm just not excited about it. These decisions are tough and I have lots of anxiety lately.

In your case I’d absolutely schedule a C. That gives you lots of time. In the meantime you’ve got 4 months to secure 2-3 babysitters who would be options. You can so do this!

Op here. Thanks. There's really no way to know that I won't have a complicated vaginal birth. All the research says both have risks. My recovery was slow with the c section but I would do anything not to go through labor pain again.

With a history of a baby who came 6 weeks early, you have no idea if you will even make it to your scheduled date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1) Bring in a friend or family member

2) Use these next few months to get to know your neighbors. Then ask one of them.

3) Start building relationships with a few babysitters, especially older women where you would trust leaving your child at their home overnight. That way you don’t have to worry about them not waking up for phone call. You show up and knock/ring door bell. And college students that are used to being up late.

4) Hire a doula.

OP here. I think I may just schedule a c section. My heart isn't set on a vbac anyway. I want to try because I feel like it's the right thing to do but I'm just not excited about it. These decisions are tough and I have lots of anxiety lately.

In your case I’d absolutely schedule a C. That gives you lots of time. In the meantime you’ve got 4 months to secure 2-3 babysitters who would be options. You can so do this!

Op here. Thanks. There's really no way to know that I won't have a complicated vaginal birth. All the research says both have risks. My recovery was slow with the c section but I would do anything not to go through labor pain again.

With a history of a baby who came 6 weeks early, you have no idea if you will even make it to your scheduled date.

That's true but I am working with an obgyn office. I am sure they will take care of me should I want another c section.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The baby will come be it husband is there or not. Husband stays home. Also, you may want to get some friends. Pretty sad that neither of you have one friend or coworker....

You want my husband to stay home while I give birth by myself? Are you nuts?

I mean, the doctors and nurses will be there. Wtf is your husband supposed to do?

I agree. You have no choice but to have your DH stay home until your babysitter arrives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The baby will come be it husband is there or not. Husband stays home. Also, you may want to get some friends. Pretty sad that neither of you have one friend or coworker....

You want my husband to stay home while I give birth by myself? Are you nuts?

this used to be the norm until very recently. I gave birth alone as well. Nbd