I’m not your kid’s chauffeur! A vent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:gurl, you need to take a day off, clearly your role is overwhelming for you.

just say, I'll drive there if you can drive home. Assuming you haven't used their nanny as a daycare during the day so you can "volunteer".

This is not a thing. The same parents who think it’s NBD for a SAHM to drive their kids will cry bloody murder at the idea of their nanny watching another child. These parents are the first to condemn anyone for asking for free babysitting if there is ever even an occasional request for reciprocity.

It doesn’t sound like you know many people with nannies. Even if you e watched their kid on a snow day and given them rides, if you ever dare ask that their nanny pick up your kid ONE time you will get a bill or a lecture about free babysitting.

OP, the sooner you minimize contact with these people, the better.

you need to take a valium.

Feeling defensive much?

No. Do you. I don't get worked up over little things all day long.

On the scale of 1 to 10 this is like a 1. But OP is probably bored and lacks intellectual stimulation and DCUM is her outlet.

Yet another woman who is insecure with her choice. Plus it's pretty funny that YOU'RE on DCUM talking about someone else's lack of intellectual stimulation. Pot, meet kettle.

I love to get you girls all riled up. it's such a hoot, something to do waiting in the doctors office to be seen. Girl, you need to get a little more self confidence if a complete stranger on the internet can get you all worked up.

But really... it's still a 1 out of 10.

[Anonymous]

OP, I get it. I’ve been mostly a SAHM for 30 years. I’ve worked part time, but never more than about 12 hours a week. People will always try to take advantage of you. Learn to say no. You don’t need to offer an excuse or provide a reason. Just say, “That won’t work for me, sorry”. And change the subject.

I SAH to spend time with MY kids. Not to babysit other people’s kids. I was always happy to host play dates with other parents during the day. Afternoons and evenings were family time.

[Anonymous]

Some people's families just do things differently. For example, DH and I are very organized and have a schedule and we both fall in line and do it. I have a neighbor who'll text me at the last minute, about 15 minutes before pick-up time, and she'll frantically say, "Can you get Larla when you are picking up Larlo??" Well, it's DH's time to get Larla, and he is coming straight from work and is currently on the Metro so sketchy cell/text service, so I try frantically to get in touch with him, and he ends up missing the message and just bringing Larlo home. In the meantime, we've both gotten all stressed out.

I just finally realized (and I think this mom did too) that our styles are too different, so we just keep things separate, even though we both live in the same neighborhood and both our kids are going to the same thing. I personally feel their loosey-goosiness drives my husband and me insane, and they likely think we are not flexible, or, something. Oh well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I get it. I’ve been mostly a SAHM for 30 years. I’ve worked part time, but never more than about 12 hours a week. People will always try to take advantage of you. Learn to say no. You don’t need to offer an excuse or provide a reason. Just say, “That won’t work for me, sorry”. And change the subject.

I SAH to spend time with MY kids. Not to babysit other people’s kids. I was always happy to host play dates with other parents during the day. Afternoons and evenings were family time.

You’ve had children in the house for 30 years? How far apart are your first and last?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I get it. I’ve been mostly a SAHM for 30 years. I’ve worked part time, but never more than about 12 hours a week. People will always try to take advantage of you. Learn to say no. You don’t need to offer an excuse or provide a reason. Just say, “That won’t work for me, sorry”. And change the subject.

I SAH to spend time with MY kids. Not to babysit other people’s kids. I was always happy to host play dates with other parents during the day. Afternoons and evenings were family time.

You’ve had children in the house for 30 years? How far apart are your first and last?

She must space them out. One every 4 or 5 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Think of answers ahead of time so you can change it into a carpool or so you can say no with an excuse.

The takers of the village are so annoying. I’m all for reciprocation, but not users. Once or twice is ok, but after that, just come up with excuses!

“Some people are so transactional. It's tiring, keeping score all the time.”

- Users Everywhere

I don't mind taking other kids along. I don't count it up though and get mad at the end of the year.

You do you.

I think it’s because the parents of just one kid have lots of extra time to sit and tally up the favor equations. Most parents I know don’t keep score and figure it all will balance out in the end. I don’t find driving another kid a big deal if I am going there anyway. Again, what seems like a huge ask to a parent of just one child is literally nothing at all for someone used to corralling three or four kids.

I do agree with this PP. Parents of multiple kids are used to juggling and organizing lots of carpools and are laid back about it, and it all works out, somehow. However, a similar "ask" will really throw a parent of only one child, because they are not used to it. They are like, "OMG! What is going on here? I am not used to this 'chaos!'" So, there are some parents I really get along with, because we just pick up each other's slack and it all work out one way or another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a SAHM of one, and I’m so tired of people assuming it’s no big deal for me to schlep their kids around town for them. Stop assuming we don’t have anything going on and it’s just so fun for us to bring your kid home or take them to dance class for you, just because we don’t work or don’t have as many kids as you. I’m this close to finishing off the year by asking each and every one of these moms to be my kid’s personal chauffeur, because what’s one more? Did I mention they are never really appreciative and downright offended when you decline? So done.

Just drive my kid and stop complaining!

I truly hope that everyone stops driving your kid.

You should feel lucky that I let you drive my kid!

Nah your kid is an Asshole just like you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I get it. I’ve been mostly a SAHM for 30 years. I’ve worked part time, but never more than about 12 hours a week. People will always try to take advantage of you. Learn to say no. You don’t need to offer an excuse or provide a reason. Just say, “That won’t work for me, sorry”. And change the subject.

I SAH to spend time with MY kids. Not to babysit other people’s kids. I was always happy to host play dates with other parents during the day. Afternoons and evenings were family time.

You’ve had children in the house for 30 years? How far apart are your first and last?

That could easily happen. Our youngest of four, for example, graduated high school 27 years after our oldest was born, and there's only nine years of an age difference between the oldest and youngest

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I get it. I’ve been mostly a SAHM for 30 years. I’ve worked part time, but never more than about 12 hours a week. People will always try to take advantage of you. Learn to say no. You don’t need to offer an excuse or provide a reason. Just say, “That won’t work for me, sorry”. And change the subject.

I SAH to spend time with MY kids. Not to babysit other people’s kids. I was always happy to host play dates with other parents during the day. Afternoons and evenings were family time.

Same here. Isn't it curious how some people think they can impose on you and you are somehow obligated to them?

If there is one lesson I learned from that stage of life, it's don't be too friendly to people who are making motions to make these kinds of requests. Be very cold, even if you come across as rude. It's better to let them know clearly from the get-go not to even think about asking, than it is to deal with the fallout when you have to put the brakes on the arrangement because it's become ridiculous. They never understand, and they absolutely never appreciate the kindness with which you tried to help them out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I get it. I’ve been mostly a SAHM for 30 years. I’ve worked part time, but never more than about 12 hours a week. People will always try to take advantage of you. Learn to say no. You don’t need to offer an excuse or provide a reason. Just say, “That won’t work for me, sorry”. And change the subject.

I SAH to spend time with MY kids. Not to babysit other people’s kids. I was always happy to host play dates with other parents during the day. Afternoons and evenings were family time.

You’ve had children in the house for 30 years? How far apart are your first and last?

That could easily happen. Our youngest of four, for example, graduated high school 27 years after our oldest was born, and there's only nine years of an age difference between the oldest and youngest

Unless you were homeschooling though, you didn't have playdates during the day. PP had kids not just at home but in the house for 30 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I get it. I’ve been mostly a SAHM for 30 years. I’ve worked part time, but never more than about 12 hours a week. People will always try to take advantage of you. Learn to say no. You don’t need to offer an excuse or provide a reason. Just say, “That won’t work for me, sorry”. And change the subject.

I SAH to spend time with MY kids. Not to babysit other people’s kids. I was always happy to host play dates with other parents during the day. Afternoons and evenings were family time.

Same here. Isn't it curious how some people think they can impose on you and you are somehow obligated to them?

If there is one lesson I learned from that stage of life, it's don't be too friendly to people who are making motions to make these kinds of requests. Be very cold, even if you come across as rude. It's better to let them know clearly from the get-go not to even think about asking, than it is to deal with the fallout when you have to put the brakes on the arrangement because it's become ridiculous. They never understand, and they absolutely never appreciate the kindness with which you tried to help them out.

Be rude to be kind. Great life motto.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Think of answers ahead of time so you can change it into a carpool or so you can say no with an excuse.

The takers of the village are so annoying. I’m all for reciprocation, but not users. Once or twice is ok, but after that, just come up with excuses!

Some people are so transactional. It's tiring, keeping score all the time.

+1

The first several years of my kid's life, we didn't have a car. I couldn't afford one. We got rides from friends quite frequently.

Now that things are better, I'll drive anyone's kid where they need to go, and I don't keep count of how many times I do it. I hope no one saw us as a burden, either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I get it. I’ve been mostly a SAHM for 30 years. I’ve worked part time, but never more than about 12 hours a week. People will always try to take advantage of you. Learn to say no. You don’t need to offer an excuse or provide a reason. Just say, “That won’t work for me, sorry”. And change the subject.

I SAH to spend time with MY kids. Not to babysit other people’s kids. I was always happy to host play dates with other parents during the day. Afternoons and evenings were family time.

Same here. Isn't it curious how some people think they can impose on you and you are somehow obligated to them?

If there is one lesson I learned from that stage of life, it's don't be too friendly to people who are making motions to make these kinds of requests. Be very cold, even if you come across as rude. It's better to let them know clearly from the get-go not to even think about asking, than it is to deal with the fallout when you have to put the brakes on the arrangement because it's become ridiculous. They never understand, and they absolutely never appreciate the kindness with which you tried to help them out.

You're a true delight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a SAHM of one, and I’m so tired of people assuming it’s no big deal for me to schlep their kids around town for them. Stop assuming we don’t have anything going on and it’s just so fun for us to bring your kid home or take them to dance class for you, just because we don’t work or don’t have as many kids as you. I’m this close to finishing off the year by asking each and every one of these moms to be my kid’s personal chauffeur, because what’s one more? Did I mention they are never really appreciative and downright offended when you decline? So done.

Just drive my kid and stop complaining!

I truly hope that everyone stops driving your kid.

You should feel lucky that I let you drive my kid!

Nah your kid is an Asshole just like you!

Be careful, or I may not let you drive my kid anymore....now get in the car!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I get it. I’ve been mostly a SAHM for 30 years. I’ve worked part time, but never more than about 12 hours a week. People will always try to take advantage of you. Learn to say no. You don’t need to offer an excuse or provide a reason. Just say, “That won’t work for me, sorry”. And change the subject.

I SAH to spend time with MY kids. Not to babysit other people’s kids. I was always happy to host play dates with other parents during the day. Afternoons and evenings were family time.

Same here. Isn't it curious how some people think they can impose on you and you are somehow obligated to them?

If there is one lesson I learned from that stage of life, it's don't be too friendly to people who are making motions to make these kinds of requests. Be very cold, even if you come across as rude. It's better to let them know clearly from the get-go not to even think about asking, than it is to deal with the fallout when you have to put the brakes on the arrangement because it's become ridiculous. They never understand, and they absolutely never appreciate the kindness with which you tried to help them out.

You're a true delight.

You sound like an idiot. Do you not get I don't have to put up with your ill-behaved son who is trying to physically attack (on my watch) other children? I wouldn't have included him in my child's activities if you hadn't asked, and I did try to help you, which you didn't appreciate, and I tried to explain, which only made you angry. Get therapy.