I’m not your kid’s chauffeur! A vent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know how I know they know it’s NOT “no big deal since you’re going anyway”? Because they NEVER OFFER TO DRIVE MY KID. Why is that? Can anyone explain?

You could ask. If you wait until they volunteer, you'll wait forever. (The same is true for my DH and dishes, btw. He'll do them, but not if I don't ask him to.)

It’s not the same thing at all.

If someone does you a favor (let’s say your cube mate is going to refill her coffee and you ask her to refill your coffee while she’s there) you don’t voluntarily offer to repay the same favor (asking her if she would like topping off, you’re headed for coffee) the next time you go to refill your coffee?

If you are asked and accept coffee, you are rude if you don’t offer to repay the favor. Next time, just stop asking. You are rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Think of answers ahead of time so you can change it into a carpool or so you can say no with an excuse.

The takers of the village are so annoying. I’m all for reciprocation, but not users. Once or twice is ok, but after that, just come up with excuses!

Some people are so transactional. It's tiring, keeping score all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Think of answers ahead of time so you can change it into a carpool or so you can say no with an excuse.

The takers of the village are so annoying. I’m all for reciprocation, but not users. Once or twice is ok, but after that, just come up with excuses!

“Some people are so transactional. It's tiring, keeping score all the time.”

- Users Everywhere

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Think of answers ahead of time so you can change it into a carpool or so you can say no with an excuse.

The takers of the village are so annoying. I’m all for reciprocation, but not users. Once or twice is ok, but after that, just come up with excuses!

“Some people are so transactional. It's tiring, keeping score all the time.”

- Users Everywhere

I don't mind taking other kids along. I don't count it up though and get mad at the end of the year.

You do you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Think of answers ahead of time so you can change it into a carpool or so you can say no with an excuse.

The takers of the village are so annoying. I’m all for reciprocation, but not users. Once or twice is ok, but after that, just come up with excuses!

"Sure, I'm happy to take Larlo. I wasn't going to stay at practice, so if you can pick them up and bring them home that would work perfectly."
OR
"Sorry, I can't."

Either is fine. I WFH and have friends along the whole spectrum from WOH, WFH, SAH. There's constant back and forth for any given activity, and people help when they can and it's ok when they can't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will admit that I would be annoyed if I asked a neighbor to take my child somewhere she was going anyway, and my neighbor just refused on principle. And of course you can ask people to return the favor, OP. For most people adding another child in the car on the way to dance class or the soccer game really isn’t a big deal.

You admit that you feel entitled to someone else's time and space and intrusion in their private vehicle to benefit yourself. And you're annoyed when you don't get everything you feel entitled to, even when it's outrageous. Got it.

[Anonymous]

Practice saying “Oh I am so sorry, I can’t” in a fake apologetic voice. You don’t have to give a reason why you can’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will admit that I would be annoyed if I asked a neighbor to take my child somewhere she was going anyway, and my neighbor just refused on principle. And of course you can ask people to return the favor, OP. For most people adding another child in the car on the way to dance class or the soccer game really isn’t a big deal.

You admit that you feel entitled to someone else's time and space and intrusion in their private vehicle to benefit yourself. And you're annoyed when you don't get everything you feel entitled to, even when it's outrageous. Got it.

She feels momentary annoyance, not pent up rage like OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:gurl, you need to take a day off, clearly your role is overwhelming for you.

just say, I'll drive there if you can drive home. Assuming you haven't used their nanny as a daycare during the day so you can "volunteer".

DP why do you assume that the op would do this and why do you not value volunteerism? Says a lot about you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will admit that I would be annoyed if I asked a neighbor to take my child somewhere she was going anyway, and my neighbor just refused on principle. And of course you can ask people to return the favor, OP. For most people adding another child in the car on the way to dance class or the soccer game really isn’t a big deal.

And I have to admit that I don’t care if my neighbor that only asks for favors and never reciprocate gets annoyed. I do have “could you take my kid with you” type relationships with couple parents so understand the beauty of it, but we all save it for true conflicts (with work or sibling activities), and it all evens out and I never feel taken advantage of. That neighbor that brings her unruly, uninvited little siblings everywhere and never watches them - the answer will always be no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Think of answers ahead of time so you can change it into a carpool or so you can say no with an excuse.

The takers of the village are so annoying. I’m all for reciprocation, but not users. Once or twice is ok, but after that, just come up with excuses!

“Some people are so transactional. It's tiring, keeping score all the time.”

- Users Everywhere

I don't mind taking other kids along. I don't count it up though and get mad at the end of the year.

You do you.

Awesome! You can drive my Larla to all her dance classes next year! I will even say thank you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Think of answers ahead of time so you can change it into a carpool or so you can say no with an excuse.

The takers of the village are so annoying. I’m all for reciprocation, but not users. Once or twice is ok, but after that, just come up with excuses!

“Some people are so transactional. It's tiring, keeping score all the time.”

- Users Everywhere

I don't mind taking other kids along. I don't count it up though and get mad at the end of the year.

You do you.

Awesome! You can drive my Larla to all her dance classes next year! I will even say thank you

Sure. Except my DS doesn't do dance. But I'll drive Larla to karate class. No problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Think of answers ahead of time so you can change it into a carpool or so you can say no with an excuse.

The takers of the village are so annoying. I’m all for reciprocation, but not users. Once or twice is ok, but after that, just come up with excuses!

“Some people are so transactional. It's tiring, keeping score all the time.”

- Users Everywhere

I don't mind taking other kids along. I don't count it up though and get mad at the end of the year.

You do you.

I think it’s because the parents of just one kid have lots of extra time to sit and tally up the favor equations. Most parents I know don’t keep score and figure it all will balance out in the end. I don’t find driving another kid a big deal if I am going there anyway. Again, what seems like a huge ask to a parent of just one child is literally nothing at all for someone used to corralling three or four kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will admit that I would be annoyed if I asked a neighbor to take my child somewhere she was going anyway, and my neighbor just refused on principle. And of course you can ask people to return the favor, OP. For most people adding another child in the car on the way to dance class or the soccer game really isn’t a big deal.

PP you are the type that op is complaining about. Your kid. Your responsibility. It doesn't matter if your neighbor is going to the same class. What if the neighbor enjoys spending time with her kid? Your kid changes the dynamic. Also, how would you like it if the neighbor asked you and was annoyed if you said no.

Take care of your own kids.

[Anonymous]

Grow a spine, OP. You can say, "no."