I’m not your kid’s chauffeur! A vent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:gurl, you need to take a day off, clearly your role is overwhelming for you.

just say, I'll drive there if you can drive home. Assuming you haven't used their nanny as a daycare during the day so you can "volunteer".

DP why do you assume that the op would do this and why do you not value volunteerism? Says a lot about you!

A lot of ASSumptions being made in that post

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Think of answers ahead of time so you can change it into a carpool or so you can say no with an excuse.

The takers of the village are so annoying. I’m all for reciprocation, but not users. Once or twice is ok, but after that, just come up with excuses!

“Some people are so transactional. It's tiring, keeping score all the time.”

- Users Everywhere

I don't mind taking other kids along. I don't count it up though and get mad at the end of the year.

You do you.

I think it’s because the parents of just one kid have lots of extra time to sit and tally up the favor equations. Most parents I know don’t keep score and figure it all will balance out in the end. I don’t find driving another kid a big deal if I am going there anyway. Again, what seems like a huge ask to a parent of just one child is literally nothing at all for someone used to corralling three or four kids.

See, here's the thing. If you have three or four kids it's because you CHOSE to, and if someone else has one because they CHOSE to and have more time than you as a result, then good for THEM -- not good for you. They have every right to be annoyed that you expect them to assist you for making a different choice.

Well said PP
This has related to carpooling and kids' activities and now I am hearing similar about college tuition
"but we have 4 college tuitions coming up so we deserve aid !"
No one owes you anything just because you chose to have multiple children

All of this +100. I have one kid. I am MORE than willing to help when I can. HOWEVER, I am not interested in having to regularly watch, supervise, drive, feed, whatever 2-3 kids. Thats why I only had ONE kid. My free time is mine to do with as I want, it is not YOURS because you need it because you are super busy juggling all your kids. Not trying to be ugly, but it is a thing and I am SO SO over people assuming I have one kid so I should be more helpful to THEM. ugh.

+1, we often go out before or after activities and I don't want to have to coordinate getting yours early or bring them back late and pay for an additional meal OR have to change my plans to get your kid. If its equal in driving then that's a carpool but for one parent to say hey, I cannot do it with napping kids or another has another activity and can you take mine, no pay someone. You choose to have multiple kids. You choose to have them at multiple places at once. You figure it out or do a real carpool. It doesn't take a village. It takes 1-2 very involved parents who put their kids first. If you have more kids, your kids may not be able to do as much and that's on you and not another person's fault. You can always hire someone. It should not cost me money to take care of your kid because you are not willing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is not a SAH WOH thing.

If you have kids going to events on the same day you need help, especially if your H travels or gets home late.

It all works out in the end.

Say no if you can’t and ask for help when you need it.

The problem is it is not a SAH WOH or even number of kid issue but some people are users and would rather have multiple kids for status or their needs and then not take responsibility for them. Sadly, it doesn't work out in the end as I know from my experience it is always one sided and I do the bulk and never have been offered help in exchange. So, I don't offer or agree anymore. Burned one to many times and when I've really needed it told no, or sorry, no more room in the car, etc.

[Anonymous]

Guys, the thread is not about takers, it’s about the selectively respectful.