quite a rude response to a play date offer. drop it, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would also find it rude (and then I would be totally insecure about it - something I did or said? something my kid did or said?) Is she biased against me in some awful way and I'm better off? I appreciate friendly welcoming people - don't change!

Thanks. That’s obviously what my anxious self is doing! But I’m coming up empty.

Do you like every person you.meet? Some.peoole aren't going to like you. It's nothing wrong with you, some people just don't always mix. Maybe she finds you needy and annoying while most others think you're giving and sweet. Who knows. Stop wasting energy on this. For the time being, you guys aren't going to move past the mutual friend stage.

[Anonymous]

I am a very blunt person and even I find it a bit rude. Nothing is gained by this sort of directness. In any case, definitively stop contacting her. Do not respond to this text.

As for your welcome messages I think they are a bit over the top but I would appreciate them.

also It looks like your other friend and this person might be closer than you think.

[Anonymous]

Yep, drop it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't see what's rude. Direct isn't rude. She didn't pad it out with a bunch of excuses or a vague offer for "another time," but she didn't say anything mean or unkind, she just said no. Maybe she's generally a very direct person, or a little socially awkward. I don't see why you'd take offense.

You must struggle in life with that low EQ.

Because I wouldn't be offended? I'm not saying she couldn't have sugar-coated her answer more, but she also didn't say anything "quite rude." Especially given that this is a text, where it's very easy to misread tone.

[Anonymous]

I vote rude, and I'd drop it and her and just move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't see what's rude. Direct isn't rude. She didn't pad it out with a bunch of excuses or a vague offer for "another time," but she didn't say anything mean or unkind, she just said no. Maybe she's generally a very direct person, or a little socially awkward. I don't see why you'd take offense.

You must struggle in life with that low EQ.

Because I wouldn't be offended? I'm not saying she couldn't have sugar-coated her answer more, but she also didn't say anything "quite rude." Especially given that this is a text, where it's very easy to misread tone.

the rudeness comes precisely from not sugarcoating what most people sugarcoat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't see what's rude. Direct isn't rude. She didn't pad it out with a bunch of excuses or a vague offer for "another time," but she didn't say anything mean or unkind, she just said no. Maybe she's generally a very direct person, or a little socially awkward. I don't see why you'd take offense.

You must struggle in life with that low EQ.

Because I wouldn't be offended? I'm not saying she couldn't have sugar-coated her answer more, but she also didn't say anything "quite rude." Especially given that this is a text, where it's very easy to misread tone.

the rudeness comes precisely from not sugarcoating what most people sugarcoat.

DP - That's ridiculous. It isn't rude to respond to a query with an answer. There was no name calling, no rude words. I get the feeling that the 'THAT'S RUDE' people think that saying no is, in itself, rude. 'She didn't want to play with me! She's RUDE.'

That's not rude. Constantly pestering someone is, though.

[Anonymous]

It's not "rude" but it's very cold and abrupt. I'd be taken aback as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't see what's rude. Direct isn't rude. She didn't pad it out with a bunch of excuses or a vague offer for "another time," but she didn't say anything mean or unkind, she just said no. Maybe she's generally a very direct person, or a little socially awkward. I don't see why you'd take offense.

You must struggle in life with that low EQ.

Because I wouldn't be offended? I'm not saying she couldn't have sugar-coated her answer more, but she also didn't say anything "quite rude." Especially given that this is a text, where it's very easy to misread tone.

the rudeness comes precisely from not sugarcoating what most people sugarcoat.

DP - That's ridiculous. It isn't rude to respond to a query with an answer. There was no name calling, no rude words. I get the feeling that the 'THAT'S RUDE' people think that saying no is, in itself, rude. 'She didn't want to play with me! She's RUDE.'

That's not rude. Constantly pestering someone is, though.

Oh come on. OP said she sent her two texts welcoming her to the neighborhood. That’s hardly constantly pestering someone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should ask the mutual friend who may know her better.

I wouldn't do this, op. Just try one more time and see what happens. You don't want to be talking about her with friend in case friend tells her and it looks like you being high schoolerish.

[Anonymous]

OP, for the good of moving forward and having the best relationships possible with everyone involved:
- get it out of your mind that it was a rude response
- do not do the initiating with her again

[Anonymous]

Does this woman know that you also meet up with the mutual friend on the same day?

If I had a standing date/meeting with a friend and then someone tried to take over our date by inviting both my friend and I to a playdate at the same time as our usual meetup, then I might be put off too and just want to keep the date/meeting with my friend. She might be open to a joint playdate with all three families some other time than when she gets together on Mondays.

If she does know about your standing date, then I would talk to the mutual friend and just say, I'm open to merging the two playdates on Mondays together if that makes it easier for you. If so, check with Larla and let me know.

[Anonymous]

I agree with some of the pp that the response was direct and blunt, but not necessarily rude. She wasn’t mean or call you names. You asked a question and she answered it.

I agree with all the pp that rude or not, the friendship ball is in her court and you shouldn’t reach out to her at all. Delete the group message from your phone and move on to people who do respond to your texts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a very blunt person and even I find it a bit rude. Nothing is gained by this sort of directness. In any case, definitively stop contacting her. Do not respond to this text.

As for your welcome messages I think they are a bit over the top but I would appreciate them.

also It looks like your other friend and this person might be closer than you think.

+1

[Anonymous]

That response would hurt my feelings - there are a million ways to decline an invitation without being rude - but you should drop it. I'm sure you'll see her at gatherings with mutual friends, but polite, but don't go out of your way to engage.

Btw - I would have welcomed your texts as we moved into our new neighborhood. No one here is friendly. (Not in DC)