quite a rude response to a play date offer. drop it, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, it sounds like you were annoying her with all the texts in the beginning. Why would you text someone you don't know well more than once if you didn't get a response back the first time? She sounds like not a charming person, but you also maybe came off as a little intrusive.

It was a couple times: "So glad you're moving to the neighborhood, you'll love it!" and then "welcome! let me know if you need help watching Larlo as you move in!" both of those messages were about 3.5 weeks apart.

Needy and weird

HOW?!? Seriously. How is that needy and weird?!? Do people not welcome new people to neighborhoods anymore?!?

Via text to an acquaintance? And you offered childcare too. That's strange. And then started including her is group texts. It over the top. If you want to welcome people go knock on their door and stop blowing up their phone weirdo.

Wow, I would find someone knocking on my door way more intrusive than a text.

[Anonymous]

I would be offended by that response. I would also be done. Move on. I wouldn't invite her again. I would invite your other friend, get together, but not include. If she reaches out, fine that might be a possibility. I would not reach out again.

[Anonymous]

Have you ever texted her or hung out with her without mutual friend being involved?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New poster shocked that anyone would consider those welcome texts “needy and weird.” That sort of thing is completely normal in my circle...though I’m one of those “not in DC people” on this site. No wonder DC has a reputation as not so friendly.

OP here, thanks. I agree. We've actually moved away from DC. Because people find helpful texts needy and weird. LOL.

Um, please don't lump all DC folks together. I'm in DCUM land and commented above that your texts were normal and nice!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you ever texted her or hung out with her without mutual friend being involved?

The ones about her house and moving were just to her, yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, it sounds like you were annoying her with all the texts in the beginning. Why would you text someone you don't know well more than once if you didn't get a response back the first time? She sounds like not a charming person, but you also maybe came off as a little intrusive.

It was a couple times: "So glad you're moving to the neighborhood, you'll love it!" and then "welcome! let me know if you need help watching Larlo as you move in!" both of those messages were about 3.5 weeks apart.

Needy and weird

It's not needy or weird!

OP, drop it and don't bother to try anymore. She'll reach out to you when she needs something, and when she does feel free to ignore her too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should ask the mutual friend who may know her better.

I didn't want to gossip. "Hey, does Susan not like me?"

I did send mutual friend (MT) a message. "I do not want to you to get involved, but I get the sense that Susan doesn't want to hang out with me. You are important to us, and I hope we can still hang out! I hope you can manage two separate play dates in week, haha" And she responded with "I sure can! two in a week is not a problem but two in a day are!"

Well there's your answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you ever texted her or hung out with her without mutual friend being involved?

The ones about her house and moving were just to her, yes.

So just those? Sounds like she's probably just never been a huge fan of yours. Can manage it fine in the setting with mutual friend, but have no desire to be an actual friend. It's ok,.it happens. Doesn't mean either of you did something or is wrong, your personalities just don't fit together. The text was a bit rude and direct, but if she's already kind of annoyed by you, it probably came through in texting you.

[Anonymous]

I would drop it. She'll reach out if she's interested. Her loss!

[Anonymous]

Yes, drop it. She doesn't like you for whatever reason and doesn't want to hang out one on one. Your mutual friend just basically confirmed it. Let it go.

[Anonymous]

I would also find it rude (and then I would be totally insecure about it - something I did or said? something my kid did or said?) Is she biased against me in some awful way and I'm better off? I appreciate friendly welcoming people - don't change!

[Anonymous]

That's like putting your hand near a hot stove, getting a little burn, and asking if you should stop putting your hand near the stove.

Yes.
Drop it.
Why would you pursue it?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't see what's rude. Direct isn't rude. She didn't pad it out with a bunch of excuses or a vague offer for "another time," but she didn't say anything mean or unkind, she just said no. Maybe she's generally a very direct person, or a little socially awkward. I don't see why you'd take offense.

You must struggle in life with that low EQ.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would also find it rude (and then I would be totally insecure about it - something I did or said? something my kid did or said?) Is she biased against me in some awful way and I'm better off? I appreciate friendly welcoming people - don't change!

Thanks. That’s obviously what my anxious self is doing! But I’m coming up empty.

[Anonymous]

I'm in the DC area and don't find the texts weird or needy. The other person isn't into OP though. And that's fine. Now OP knows and can steer clear.