APS Transgender Policy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FYI - there is a lot more to this policy change than just sports.

https://arlingtonparentcoa.wixsite.com/arlingtonparentcoa/agia-policy-proposal-aps-working-do

I wasn't at the meeting that these notes were taken at but I do find many of the points concerning. It seems as though APS is planning on leaving parents out of the conversation when it comes to transgender students. While I understand that not every student has a good relationship with their parents or feels safe enough with them to talk to them about this issue, I think it's an unfair response to decide to leave all parents out.

Recently with the Ashlawn read across America day event (https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/education/in-a-virginia-school-a-celebration-of-transgender-students-in-a-kindergarten-class/2019/03/03/10fc9f90-3b7e-11e9-a06c-3ec8ed509d15_story.html?utm_term=.b635cbc71edb) I was most surprised to hear about it via Arlington Now and the Washington Post rather than from the school. While my kids aren't in the classrooms that are involved, it would be nice to know that some of their classmates are involved in school sanctioned conversations about the topic so I'm not surprised when they come home asking questions about something they heard from a friend.

It's also concerning to me that students will be the ones who make the final decision about being comfortable rooming with a transgender student. While I think it's good that staff take the kids opinions into consideration, I feel totally comfortable shouldering the blame if my child isn't comfortable with the situation but also doesn't want to say it outright. I think it puts parents and minor students in an awkward situation...

Lots of things to think about and consider. Most of the policies I don't have a huge problem with. I do worry about how necessary it is to start talking to specifically about the topic to kindergarteners without the express permission of parents though.

I would have a real problem with this part of the proposed policy.

? Under no circumstances can a parent refuse to have their child room with a transgender student based on gender identity and/or expression if their child has agreed to the arrangement.

How is that supposed to be acceptable to parents?



?

Parents don’t have to consent to their child going on the trip if they’re not comfortable with the sleeping arrangements.

In 5th grade my kid went with the entire grade to an overnight field trip at the outdoor lob. Parents weren’t, and didn’t need to be, consulted about specific sleeping arrangements ahead of time. I didn’t find out until they got back who was together in the tent with ds. It sounded like the teachers put thought into who went where, and I’m sure in the case of a transgendered girl they would have placed her with female friend(s) or girls that the teacher knew would be ok with the arrangement.

That is not a decision that parents need to be involved with. Keep unnecessary humiliations out of the mix.

[Anonymous]

Taking away parental authority and placing it in the hands of their minor children? Nope. They are starting with small steps and will be taking bigger steps soon, following Party strategy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Taking away parental authority and placing it in the hands of their minor children? Nope. They are starting with small steps and will be taking bigger steps soon, following Party strategy.

X1000.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FYI - there is a lot more to this policy change than just sports.

https://arlingtonparentcoa.wixsite.com/arlingtonparentcoa/agia-policy-proposal-aps-working-do

I wasn't at the meeting that these notes were taken at but I do find many of the points concerning. It seems as though APS is planning on leaving parents out of the conversation when it comes to transgender students. While I understand that not every student has a good relationship with their parents or feels safe enough with them to talk to them about this issue, I think it's an unfair response to decide to leave all parents out.

Recently with the Ashlawn read across America day event (https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/education/in-a-virginia-school-a-celebration-of-transgender-students-in-a-kindergarten-class/2019/03/03/10fc9f90-3b7e-11e9-a06c-3ec8ed509d15_story.html?utm_term=.b635cbc71edb) I was most surprised to hear about it via Arlington Now and the Washington Post rather than from the school. While my kids aren't in the classrooms that are involved, it would be nice to know that some of their classmates are involved in school sanctioned conversations about the topic so I'm not surprised when they come home asking questions about something they heard from a friend.

It's also concerning to me that students will be the ones who make the final decision about being comfortable rooming with a transgender student. While I think it's good that staff take the kids opinions into consideration, I feel totally comfortable shouldering the blame if my child isn't comfortable with the situation but also doesn't want to say it outright. I think it puts parents and minor students in an awkward situation...

Lots of things to think about and consider. Most of the policies I don't have a huge problem with. I do worry about how necessary it is to start talking to specifically about the topic to kindergarteners without the express permission of parents though.

I would have a real problem with this part of the proposed policy.

? Under no circumstances can a parent refuse to have their child room with a transgender student based on gender identity and/or expression if their child has agreed to the arrangement.

How is that supposed to be acceptable to parents?



?

Parents don’t have to consent to their child going on the trip if they’re not comfortable with the sleeping arrangements.

In 5th grade my kid went with the entire grade to an overnight field trip at the outdoor lob. Parents weren’t, and didn’t need to be, consulted about specific sleeping arrangements ahead of time. I didn’t find out until they got back who was together in the tent with ds. It sounded like the teachers put thought into who went where, and I’m sure in the case of a transgendered girl they would have placed her with female friend(s) or girls that the teacher knew would be ok with the arrangement.

That is not a decision that parents need to be involved with. Keep unnecessary humiliations out of the mix.

How would the teacher know better than the parents if a child would be okay with it. Just because a girl is friends with a transgendered girl doesn’t mean she’s okay sleeping in the same tent with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Taking away parental authority and placing it in the hands of their minor children? Nope. They are starting with small steps and will be taking bigger steps soon, following Party strategy.

Parents already are not involved in the process of room or tent assignments for sleep away field trips. Sorry that goes against your narrative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FYI - there is a lot more to this policy change than just sports.

https://arlingtonparentcoa.wixsite.com/arlingtonparentcoa/agia-policy-proposal-aps-working-do

I wasn't at the meeting that these notes were taken at but I do find many of the points concerning. It seems as though APS is planning on leaving parents out of the conversation when it comes to transgender students. While I understand that not every student has a good relationship with their parents or feels safe enough with them to talk to them about this issue, I think it's an unfair response to decide to leave all parents out.

Recently with the Ashlawn read across America day event (https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/education/in-a-virginia-school-a-celebration-of-transgender-students-in-a-kindergarten-class/2019/03/03/10fc9f90-3b7e-11e9-a06c-3ec8ed509d15_story.html?utm_term=.b635cbc71edb) I was most surprised to hear about it via Arlington Now and the Washington Post rather than from the school. While my kids aren't in the classrooms that are involved, it would be nice to know that some of their classmates are involved in school sanctioned conversations about the topic so I'm not surprised when they come home asking questions about something they heard from a friend.

It's also concerning to me that students will be the ones who make the final decision about being comfortable rooming with a transgender student. While I think it's good that staff take the kids opinions into consideration, I feel totally comfortable shouldering the blame if my child isn't comfortable with the situation but also doesn't want to say it outright. I think it puts parents and minor students in an awkward situation...

Lots of things to think about and consider. Most of the policies I don't have a huge problem with. I do worry about how necessary it is to start talking to specifically about the topic to kindergarteners without the express permission of parents though.

I would have a real problem with this part of the proposed policy.

? Under no circumstances can a parent refuse to have their child room with a transgender student based on gender identity and/or expression if their child has agreed to the arrangement.

How is that supposed to be acceptable to parents?



?

Parents don’t have to consent to their child going on the trip if they’re not comfortable with the sleeping arrangements.

In 5th grade my kid went with the entire grade to an overnight field trip at the outdoor lob. Parents weren’t, and didn’t need to be, consulted about specific sleeping arrangements ahead of time. I didn’t find out until they got back who was together in the tent with ds. It sounded like the teachers put thought into who went where, and I’m sure in the case of a transgendered girl they would have placed her with female friend(s) or girls that the teacher knew would be ok with the arrangement.

That is not a decision that parents need to be involved with. Keep unnecessary humiliations out of the mix.

How would the teacher know better than the parents if a child would be okay with it. Just because a girl is friends with a transgendered girl doesn’t mean she’s okay sleeping in the same tent with her.

I would say that the teacher has a much better feel for classroom interpersonal dynamics than a parent. Any parent afraid of decisions being made on their child’s behalf by responsible adults on a field trip absolutely has the authority to not allow the child to go on the field trip. That isn’t being taken away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry - but if your whole point is about “are sports fair?m” is your entire argument- I have questions. Will my child’s life change because they are number 2 and not number 1 in the sport really affect them? I get that most of the time an XX WONT WIN AGAINST XY. It’s a small percentage AND in the long run does not really matter.

You must not know much about sports, or maybe your kids is just mediocre but not everyone’s is. Take swimming as an example. The top two finishers in each event at Olympic Trials get to represent the US at the Olympics. The difference between being #2 and #3 is absolutely life changing in that instance. I am in support of trans rights but this gets really tricky when it comes to sports. Even before puberty there are differences between someone born XX and XY due to the prenatal testosterone surge that comes with having a Y chromosome. Sex hormones don’t just affect development during puberty, and I’m not sure hormone suppression during puberty truly mimics the lack of testosterone surge in genetic XX individuals.

[Anonymous]

I'm sending my 8 year old to Girl Scout sleep away camp this summer. The leaders will choose the sleeping arrangements. I don't get a say, except to list a single person who my daughter would prefer to bunk with, but there's no guarantee. That's just how it goes. Why should this be any different? Overnight field trips aren't mandatory. If you don't like it, don't let your kid attend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think “destroying women’s sports” is a little overstating it because transgender folks are a tiny percentage of the population. And it would have to be male to female and play sports and be good. That’s a lot of ands. But, you could just make the guidelines based on sex, not gender. Gender is fluid.

I have boys so no immediate dogs in this fight. My boys wrestle. Girls wrestle in the league as well. Some of them are really really good. They have different strengths than the boys but they definitely have real strengths. Don’t count the girls out.

I agree.
And to the PP who stated “they are women now,” NO, they aren’t biologically female. And that matters in things like sports. And if no one should care about winning, why does the transgender person want/need to compete or try to win? Why is it fair to disadvantage the many XX females, but not the very few XY MTF people? They should be allowed to compete against other biological males.

+1.

Sports is biology, not BS social science.

If a man wants to compete as a woman, there should be a comprehensive battery of tests, at all biological levels, to make sure she is a woman, same as all other women.

Simple and fair.

Currently they do internationally.

In the past the East Germans were famous for giving their women male hormones and winning everything. From a sports perspective, it's similar to what will happen again. In spades, this time, biological men will compete directly against women. It was unfair then, it's unfair now.

Exactly.

The day will come when half of the US women's soccer team cannot play the World Cup because they are not actually women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FYI - there is a lot more to this policy change than just sports.

https://arlingtonparentcoa.wixsite.com/arlingtonparentcoa/agia-policy-proposal-aps-working-do

I wasn't at the meeting that these notes were taken at but I do find many of the points concerning. It seems as though APS is planning on leaving parents out of the conversation when it comes to transgender students. While I understand that not every student has a good relationship with their parents or feels safe enough with them to talk to them about this issue, I think it's an unfair response to decide to leave all parents out.

Recently with the Ashlawn read across America day event (https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/education/in-a-virginia-school-a-celebration-of-transgender-students-in-a-kindergarten-class/2019/03/03/10fc9f90-3b7e-11e9-a06c-3ec8ed509d15_story.html?utm_term=.b635cbc71edb) I was most surprised to hear about it via Arlington Now and the Washington Post rather than from the school. While my kids aren't in the classrooms that are involved, it would be nice to know that some of their classmates are involved in school sanctioned conversations about the topic so I'm not surprised when they come home asking questions about something they heard from a friend.

It's also concerning to me that students will be the ones who make the final decision about being comfortable rooming with a transgender student. While I think it's good that staff take the kids opinions into consideration, I feel totally comfortable shouldering the blame if my child isn't comfortable with the situation but also doesn't want to say it outright. I think it puts parents and minor students in an awkward situation...

Lots of things to think about and consider. Most of the policies I don't have a huge problem with. I do worry about how necessary it is to start talking to specifically about the topic to kindergarteners without the express permission of parents though.

I would have a real problem with this part of the proposed policy.

? Under no circumstances can a parent refuse to have their child room with a transgender student based on gender identity and/or expression if their child has agreed to the arrangement.

How is that supposed to be acceptable to parents?



?

Parents don’t have to consent to their child going on the trip if they’re not comfortable with the sleeping arrangements.

In 5th grade my kid went with the entire grade to an overnight field trip at the outdoor lob. Parents weren’t, and didn’t need to be, consulted about specific sleeping arrangements ahead of time. I didn’t find out until they got back who was together in the tent with ds. It sounded like the teachers put thought into who went where, and I’m sure in the case of a transgendered girl they would have placed her with female friend(s) or girls that the teacher knew would be ok with the arrangement.

That is not a decision that parents need to be involved with. Keep unnecessary humiliations out of the mix.

+1000. I'm a parent, too, but don't think I need to dictate every.single.thing that may or may not happen in my kids' presence. You do not need to be notified in advance of every single word spoken in front of your kids. Jee. The sky won't fall if Larla comes home with a question and you actually have to gather your thoughts before answering.

And I have a fundamental disagreement with those who view it as a sexual matter. Shame. It's a matter of identity, it speaks to the core of the sense of self these kids are trying to develop (as all kids must do.) To immediately ascribe sexual intention is willingly pernicious, and it speaks about you adults more than the kids. You're offended and triggered by a variety of things involving a children's book presented (by all accounts) by thoughtful adults, but tell me if you're also as deeply offended by words -and I won't write them- kids have been using since forever to attack boys for not being stereotypically masculine and girls who might not appear or act feminine enough? That is what offends me and I choose to call out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If this is my same Ashlawn neighbor who posted this same anti-trans faux concern on NextDoor because you just want to hear what other parents think, I think you’re finding out how no one wants your anti-trans views around our kids.

I’m not that same poster (I don’t believe she actually has children who attend Ashlawn). I do think the response she received was unfair and not very understanding from a group of people who pride themselves on being understanding of people who don’t conform to the “norm”?

Why isn’t it okay that I want to be aware that this conversation is taking place in kindergarten so I can have a supporting conversation at home?

I have had plenty of conversations with other parents of young elementary students to know that I’m not alone in my feelings.

Shouldn’t the focus be more on loving people who are different than you are rather than talking about all the ways we can be different?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If this is my same Ashlawn neighbor who posted this same anti-trans faux concern on NextDoor because you just want to hear what other parents think, I think you’re finding out how no one wants your anti-trans views around our kids.

I’m not that same poster (I don’t believe she actually has children who attend Ashlawn). I do think the response she received was unfair and not very understanding from a group of people who pride themselves on being understanding of people who don’t conform to the “norm”?

Why isn’t it okay that I want to be aware that this conversation is taking place in kindergarten so I can have a supporting conversation at home?

I have had plenty of conversations with other parents of young elementary students to know that I’m not alone in my feelings.

Shouldn’t the focus be more on loving people who are different than you are rather than talking about all the ways we can be different?

I’m not pp, but I have absolutely no control over what my kids will hear over the day at school, and I enjoy hearing about and further discussing those things at home. Sometimes an article in the paper triggers a conversation over the dinner table. Recently we had one about the “n” word, based on a WaPo article. We have ongoing conversations that become more nuanced as they get older. They can be about bigotry, trans issues, bullying, politics, the Middle East (we had that one yesterday), you name it. Kids get input from other places. School, friends, movies, videos, parties.

What is important to me is an ongoing conversation at home. One school discussion about a popular work of fiction isn’t going to mean much in the scheme of things, if you are willing to tackle the discussions at home freely. Honestly, I don’t care where my kids are first exposed to what some people think of as weighty issues. The exposure and chance for conversation that stems from that is great.

[Anonymous]

Can someone explain to me the motives of the APS parents’ coalition regarding the APS policy? Is it just the sports thing or is it altogether anti-trans?

[Anonymous]

Difficult issue to deal with.

It seems to me that there are some accomodations that must be made by the trans child/family.

If your child has a physical problem (such as bedwetting), you would likely consider not sending the child to sleepaway camp. If your child has anxiety issues, you might reconsider sleepaway camp. If your child is trans, maybe you should also reconsider. This surely would be the least of the issues.

If your child has extreme allergies, the same.

We all adapt to the needs of our kids. We cannot make everyone else do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Difficult issue to deal with.

It seems to me that there are some accomodations that must be made by the trans child/family.

If your child has a physical problem (such as bedwetting), you would likely consider not sending the child to sleepaway camp. If your child has anxiety issues, you might reconsider sleepaway camp. If your child is trans, maybe you should also reconsider. This surely would be the least of the issues.

If your child has extreme allergies, the same.

We all adapt to the needs of our kids. We cannot make everyone else do so.

Couldn't agree more.