Fiance - Cat Tension

[Anonymous]

I think you all just have to try to deal with it. Be sure to communicate to your fiance that you know he's not a cat guy and that the cats are not reacting well and how much you appreciate him accommodating them for you.

I wouldn't make him to anything for the cats - they're your pets. At least for the very long beginning, you do all the care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks all for several very helpful suggestions.

I absolutely do not intend on giving up the cats. The cats used to be fine around DF before he moved in, the aggression and the repeated swiping started only once he moved in. They are also fine around most visitors.

I have had DF give them treats but that hasn't resolved the situation so far. I'm not currently considering therapy or putting cameras in the house.

Did you read the above posts as just "have him give treats" and that's all? That alone won't fix everything. Really hoping you see that as just a first step. You got plenty of advice beyond therapy for him or cameras in the house.

[Anonymous]

I am not a pet person and my husband had cats when I moved in with him 11 years ago. One of them is still alive and I've lived with a cat or two ever since. My husband mostly tries to be as accommodating of me as possible when it comes to the cats--e.g., he does all the cat feeding/litterbox unless he's traveling, he's responsible for finding a cat sitter if we will be out of town, he will sometimes move to sleeping in the living room in the middle of the night with the cat if the cat is keeping me up at night. He has also agreed that when this last cat dies we will not get more cats.

One of the cats would chase me around and bite my ankles for what seemed like years. When I finally relaxed more around the cat and gave him more attention, he stopped doing it. I still would rather not have cats but I've learned to live with them.

My husband offered to get rid of the cats (and had someone who would take them), but I knew it would be devastating to him.

[Anonymous]

Op. You are destined to be a lonely cat lady.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not a pet person and my husband had cats when I moved in with him 11 years ago. One of them is still alive and I've lived with a cat or two ever since. My husband mostly tries to be as accommodating of me as possible when it comes to the cats--e.g., he does all the cat feeding/litterbox unless he's traveling, he's responsible for finding a cat sitter if we will be out of town, he will sometimes move to sleeping in the living room in the middle of the night with the cat if the cat is keeping me up at night. He has also agreed that when this last cat dies we will not get more cats.

One of the cats would chase me around and bite my ankles for what seemed like years. When I finally relaxed more around the cat and gave him more attention, he stopped doing it. I still would rather not have cats but I've learned to live with them.

My husband offered to get rid of the cats (and had someone who would take them), but I knew it would be devastating to him.

.

I would never date a guy who is into cats. Huge red flag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are all these PP who are cat haters posting in this thread and giving advice on how to deal with cats.

why do women post and overtake a thread when an OP solicits advice/feedback from men?

[Anonymous]

This thread shows everything wrong with DCUM Relationship advice. The answer to every relationship question is:

1. Its 100% the man's fault
2. Put him in therapy
3. Dump him or break up with him
4. He is a wolf in sheep's clothing

Sounds like most women on here are either bored or really damaged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Omg, do NOT get rid of the cats! Ignore that poster.

Have your DH feed the cats and offer them treats, over and over. He has to build their trust. Cats HATE change. It will take time.

Exactly, what a horrible thing to suggest. Irresponsible pet owners do garbage like that.

He chose to accept this as a package deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not a pet person and my husband had cats when I moved in with him 11 years ago. One of them is still alive and I've lived with a cat or two ever since. My husband mostly tries to be as accommodating of me as possible when it comes to the cats--e.g., he does all the cat feeding/litterbox unless he's traveling, he's responsible for finding a cat sitter if we will be out of town, he will sometimes move to sleeping in the living room in the middle of the night with the cat if the cat is keeping me up at night. He has also agreed that when this last cat dies we will not get more cats.

One of the cats would chase me around and bite my ankles for what seemed like years. When I finally relaxed more around the cat and gave him more attention, he stopped doing it. I still would rather not have cats but I've learned to live with them.

My husband offered to get rid of the cats (and had someone who would take them), but I knew it would be devastating to him.

.

I would never date a guy who is into cats. Huge red flag.

LOL It's the people that don't like pets that raise the most red flags.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he makes a good faith effort to bond with the cats and one or both try to scratch his eyes out, get rid of the cat or cats. Trust me, if you have a baby and the cats abuse the baby you will get rid of them.

Tell that to my neighbor whose dog bit two kids, including her own baby, and she still has the dog.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not a pet person and my husband had cats when I moved in with him 11 years ago. One of them is still alive and I've lived with a cat or two ever since. My husband mostly tries to be as accommodating of me as possible when it comes to the cats--e.g., he does all the cat feeding/litterbox unless he's traveling, he's responsible for finding a cat sitter if we will be out of town, he will sometimes move to sleeping in the living room in the middle of the night with the cat if the cat is keeping me up at night. He has also agreed that when this last cat dies we will not get more cats.

One of the cats would chase me around and bite my ankles for what seemed like years. When I finally relaxed more around the cat and gave him more attention, he stopped doing it. I still would rather not have cats but I've learned to live with them.

My husband offered to get rid of the cats (and had someone who would take them), but I knew it would be devastating to him.

.

I would never date a guy who is into cats. Huge red flag.

LOL It's the people that don't like pets that raise the most red flags.

I'm fine with a guy having a dog. Not cats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he makes a good faith effort to bond with the cats and one or both try to scratch his eyes out, get rid of the cat or cats. Trust me, if you have a baby and the cats abuse the baby you will get rid of them.

Tell that to my neighbor whose dog bit two kids, including her own baby, and she still has the dog.

It's called pet training. She needs to take her dog to a trainer or group training. Obviously don't leave the dog alone with a baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he makes a good faith effort to bond with the cats and one or both try to scratch his eyes out, get rid of the cat or cats. Trust me, if you have a baby and the cats abuse the baby you will get rid of them.

Tell that to my neighbor whose dog bit two kids, including her own baby, and she still has the dog.

Your neighbor is insane. Any dog that bit my baby would be euthanized the same day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he makes a good faith effort to bond with the cats and one or both try to scratch his eyes out, get rid of the cat or cats. Trust me, if you have a baby and the cats abuse the baby you will get rid of them.

Tell that to my neighbor whose dog bit two kids, including her own baby, and she still has the dog.

Your neighbor is insane. Any dog that bit my baby would be euthanized the same day.

That is insane. The dog is an animal and animals do unpredictable things. The onus would be on you for leaving your baby in that situation.

[Anonymous]

Op I don't want to go all conspiracy theorist on you but I really think he is hitting the cats. Be careful.