SAHMs: Stop complaining to me about how busy you are

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the context is important.

A SAHM of school aged kids. A SAHM of school aged kids with a housekeeper and nanny. A SAHM to young kids. A WOHM with a nanny/childcare. A WOHM with a nanny and house cleaner. A WOHM who works only 40 verse 40+ hours.

And there is always the husband...that's a wild card. Some of us are single parents, some of us have a workaholic husband (who works long hours so we can afford to be a SAHM), some of us husbands but not that "helpful" of a parent, etc.

Time of year and what is going on that week. Tax time is busy for a lot of people. I was busy this week organizing 3 Valentine’s Day parties for 3 of my children.

[Anonymous]

I don't run into this much except for an old college friend on Facebook. She hasn't worked since she and her husband moved for his job about 3 or 4 years ago. Not sure why, they aren't super high income with just his salary. She posts NONSTOP on FB (multiple multiple times a day) about what she's so busy with - training the dog, taking it to the dog park, clearing the 3rd shelf in the pantry to put down new shelf paper, going to the grocery store, blah blah blah. Also complains really frequently about being tired, especially if someone has the nerve to call her phone and wake her up before noon. She's now expecting, which has prompted a whole nother level of FB word vomit (blow by blow of what has been purchased off the registry, and so on), but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't looking forward to how having to take care of a child is going to blow up her life of leisure. Should make for some entertaining FB viewing for me, at least.

[Anonymous]

OP, I get what you are saying. And while we can't possibly know every detail of someone's situation, if you are a SAHM of 1 kid and talk a lot so that we have a good idea your schedule and it involves going to the gym every day and taking your kid to 2 appointments a week (5 minutes from your house), and the other days taking them to morning preschool, I'm not going to feel too sorry for you when you complain about being busy.

I work part time so I feel like I get to see both worlds and all other things being equal (# of kids, helpful husband, no special needs, etc.) the OP is correct. Besides watching your kids during the day. WOHMs have to do everything SAHMs do in a smaller window of time.

[Anonymous]

Honest question. What do stay at home moms of kids all over the age of 7 do during the day from 9:30-2:30?

[Anonymous]

I’m too busy living my life to listen to how busy you are living yours.

[Anonymous]

I don't think this is fair, and I am not a SAHM.

We live in a society that values busyness and movement. People just want to fit in.

And there ARE different kinds of busy, truly. I am not busy with work, as I am super efficient at what I do. But damn. My dogs and ONE child keep me moving.

I am sure some of you think I have it easy with a low key job and one kid. But sometimes it is just monotonous..

So I never ever judge or compare. Fruitless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honest question. What do stay at home moms of kids all over the age of 7 do during the day from 9:30-2:30?

Whatever I want!

I can never understand the people who want to claim the worst life. I guess you get a martyr prize, but living a nice life is much better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honest question. What do stay at home moms of kids all over the age of 7 do during the day from 9:30-2:30?

We do yoga, and stay in insane shape. We have wild sex with gym instructors, we go shopping all the time, like for hours and hours on end, not for DH and kids, bust for us. We don't cook, we order in, we don't clean, we have housekeepers for that. We then have a nanny pick the kids up so we do not have to listen to naggy tired kids... I mean what is the fun in that. We get our hair and nails done, then we send the nanny home and pretend we are exhausted to avoid sex with DH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a mom and I work. I find ANYONE who complains a lot about how busy they are to be incredibly annoying. I find it's usually a way for people to brag about "how much" they are doing to inflate their own sense of self importance. The SAHM's who are "so busy they don't have time to breathe" are the equivalent of office workers who have "so many important things to do" they are frantically running around, working late etc, trying to show how much harder they're working than everyone else. I don't think this is a contest between working moms and stay at home moms...this is more a question of annoying people versus non annoying people.

Same here. In this area especially, everyone says they are sooooo busy. It’s like a contest for who is busiest and it’s stupid.

SAHM of 3 here. I often say I’m tired and say I feel busy. I’m sorry if this bothers you.

DH is a surgeon and never says he is tired although he works long hours operating on people.

I think it is just small talk.

How are you?
I’m tired. My toddler is sick and hasn’t been sleeping well.

How are the kids?
We are so busy. I am dreading soccer and having to go to soccer 5x per week.

Really don’t think it is a competition of who is busier.

You choose to have 3 kids and a lifestyle with a husband who works a lot. You can afford to get a nanny and housekeeper and lawn service so I'm missing your point and I'm a SAHM. We do sports year round 5 days a week, summer 6 days. That's life with kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honest question. What do stay at home moms of kids all over the age of 7 do during the day from 9:30-2:30?

DCUM. Just like you. Since we’re being honest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honest question. What do stay at home moms of kids all over the age of 7 do during the day from 9:30-2:30?

Why do you care? Watching netflix and eating bonbons.

[Anonymous]

Again, talking about school age kids, not staying home with babies or toddlers. SAHMs if school age kids are not busier than working moms, especially if working mom is juggling with no nannies.

[Anonymous]

You want to be busier than me? Please, go ahead! I don't like being busy.

You want to be more stressed or have a harder life than me? Please! Go right ahead. Being stressed and having a hard life isn't fun for me.

No, I don't complain much. But I do sometimes. What with being a human being and all.

You can keep the Martyr Award though. Your'e so busy. You're sooooooooooo busy!

-WOHM

[Anonymous]

Sorry, once kids are in school, SAHMs are not as busy as working moms.

Agree. But perception can play a big role here too. I can think of days when I had only 2 or 3 things to do, but it felt like that was a lot because they were unusual tasks and I had to remember what special paperwork I needed to bring and map out how long it would take to drive to a place I don't drive to very often, etc. So while a day with 2 or 3 of those types of appointments is objectively less busy than a day at work with 5 meetings and 2 conference calls and 3 projects to deliver before COB, the normal busy workday feels less stressful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a mom and I work. I find ANYONE who complains a lot about how busy they are to be incredibly annoying. I find it's usually a way for people to brag about "how much" they are doing to inflate their own sense of self importance. The SAHM's who are "so busy they don't have time to breathe" are the equivalent of office workers who have "so many important things to do" they are frantically running around, working late etc, trying to show how much harder they're working than everyone else. I don't think this is a contest between working moms and stay at home moms...this is more a question of annoying people versus non annoying people.

Same here. In this area especially, everyone says they are sooooo busy. It’s like a contest for who is busiest and it’s stupid.

SAHM of 3 here. I often say I’m tired and say I feel busy. I’m sorry if this bothers you.

DH is a surgeon and never says he is tired although he works long hours operating on people.

I think it is just small talk.

How are you?
I’m tired. My toddler is sick and hasn’t been sleeping well.

How are the kids?
We are so busy. I am dreading soccer and having to go to soccer 5x per week.

Really don’t think it is a competition of who is busier.

I’m a little annoyed just reading your response. Just cut out starting each answer with “I’m tired”/“We’re busy” and you’ll reduce your annoyability by half.