SAHMs: Stop complaining to me about how busy you are

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The progression of this thread is funny:

OP feels entitled to free labor from SAHMs:

The SAHMs say “No I can’t... I’m busy...”

OP launches into a tirade about how the SAHMs have nothing better to do and they should be giving her a lot more unpaid volunteer work.
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Lots of SAHMs say they don’t like other moms assuming that they will be back up child care, or volunteers, etc. It’s rude. Basically, they remind OP that she’s not entitled to these women’s time.
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WOHM freak out and say the NEVER ask SAHMs for ANYTHING! This is a myth of epic proportions! This never happens!
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Mkay...

I'm a WOHM. I have never asked a SAHM for anything. Believe me or not, I really don't care. All the WOHMs I know are the same.

Yup. We pay for reliable childcare. We use leave time for emergencies. We have a backup plan. We can't afford to rely on favors from anyone.
That's pretty much the way it works for everyone I know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The progression of this thread is funny:

OP feels entitled to free labor from SAHMs:

The SAHMs say “No I can’t... I’m busy...”

OP launches into a tirade about how the SAHMs have nothing better to do and they should be giving her a lot more unpaid volunteer work.
.
.
.
Lots of SAHMs say they don’t like other moms assuming that they will be back up child care, or volunteers, etc. It’s rude. Basically, they remind OP that she’s not entitled to these women’s time.
.
.
WOHM freak out and say the NEVER ask SAHMs for ANYTHING! This is a myth of epic proportions! This never happens!
.
.
.
Mkay...

I'm a WOHM. I have never asked a SAHM for anything. Believe me or not, I really don't care. All the WOHMs I know are the same.

Yup. We pay for reliable childcare. We use leave time for emergencies. We have a backup plan. We can't afford to rely on favors from anyone.
That's pretty much the way it works for everyone I know.

NP, and same. What's the problem with that? Isn't that the way it should be. I have plenty of WOHP friends and SAHP friends. I would gladly help any of them out in a bind. Thankfully, I've never had to go outside of my very reliable, professional child care center for kid help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The progression of this thread is funny:

OP feels entitled to free labor from SAHMs:

The SAHMs say “No I can’t... I’m busy...”

OP launches into a tirade about how the SAHMs have nothing better to do and they should be giving her a lot more unpaid volunteer work.
.
.
.
Lots of SAHMs say they don’t like other moms assuming that they will be back up child care, or volunteers, etc. It’s rude. Basically, they remind OP that she’s not entitled to these women’s time.
.
.
WOHM freak out and say the NEVER ask SAHMs for ANYTHING! This is a myth of epic proportions! This never happens!
.
.
.
Mkay...

I'm a WOHM. I have never asked a SAHM for anything. Believe me or not, I really don't care. All the WOHMs I know are the same.

Yup. We pay for reliable childcare. We use leave time for emergencies. We have a backup plan. We can't afford to rely on favors from anyone.
That's pretty much the way it works for everyone I know.

NP, and same. What's the problem with that? Isn't that the way it should be. I have plenty of WOHP friends and SAHP friends. I would gladly help any of them out in a bind. Thankfully, I've never had to go outside of my very reliable, professional child care center for kid help.

There is no problem. It works for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is my day. It isn't as busy as when I was working, but I don't feel bored or listless.

4 kids. Ages 4, 7, 9&10.
Three days a week I wake up at 4:30 and meet friends to workout. The other two days I sleep in.
6:45. Get DD7 up
While she’s getting dressed I also get dressed for the day.
7:15. Eat breakfast with DD7 and DS4. Wake up DS9 and DS10.
7:30 take DD to school.
7:45-8:15 Help boys get ready, pack lunches, clean up breakfast.
8:15- DS 9&10 to school. MWF, DS4 to preschool.
9:00 M&F go down to volunteer at a free clinic. W watch TV or shop. T have friends for coffee/play date. Th take DS4 to swim.
11:30 pick up DS4 from school MWF
12:00. Lunch. Usually out somewhere like the zoo or the playground
1:30. Home. Read to/with DS. Clean/fold laundry while he plays play dough. Sometimes he takes a nap.
3pm. Pick kids up from school
3:30-5pm. Play games, talk to kids about their day. Get dinner prepped.
5:30 dinner. DH home.
6:00 kids do homework and play.
6:30 activities. T, Th swimming, W music and religious Ed. Friday gymnastics and martial arts
8:00 kids get ready for bed, brush teeth, stories (we still read even to the older boys), kids read on their own
9:00 lights out for all kids
10:00 DH and I go to bed

Sounds like a pretty sweet gig. I hope you recognize how lucky you are.

Lucky? Or pp and her husband make choices (and possibly sacrifices) to have that lifestyle?

I'm not pp, but I stay home with a somewhat similar schedule. I can't tell you how many working moms will tell me they "just can't afford" to not work, as they climb into their brand new Escalade, plan their vacation to Maldives, and completely remodel their kitchen for the 3rd time in 5 years.

Well I’m a wohm and I don’t think PP is ‘lucky.’ Fine if it works for her though but I work because I want to make sure I use my education (I have a phd), am financially independent, and am fully involved in the world beyond just the sphere of my family as a role model for my daughters. My family doesn’t need the money and I choose to work not for the kitchen remodel or escalade or whatever but for the reasons I just stated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is my day. It isn't as busy as when I was working, but I don't feel bored or listless.

4 kids. Ages 4, 7, 9&10.
Three days a week I wake up at 4:30 and meet friends to workout. The other two days I sleep in.
6:45. Get DD7 up
While she’s getting dressed I also get dressed for the day.
7:15. Eat breakfast with DD7 and DS4. Wake up DS9 and DS10.
7:30 take DD to school.
7:45-8:15 Help boys get ready, pack lunches, clean up breakfast.
8:15- DS 9&10 to school. MWF, DS4 to preschool.
9:00 M&F go down to volunteer at a free clinic. W watch TV or shop. T have friends for coffee/play date. Th take DS4 to swim.
11:30 pick up DS4 from school MWF
12:00. Lunch. Usually out somewhere like the zoo or the playground
1:30. Home. Read to/with DS. Clean/fold laundry while he plays play dough. Sometimes he takes a nap.
3pm. Pick kids up from school
3:30-5pm. Play games, talk to kids about their day. Get dinner prepped.
5:30 dinner. DH home.
6:00 kids do homework and play.
6:30 activities. T, Th swimming, W music and religious Ed. Friday gymnastics and martial arts
8:00 kids get ready for bed, brush teeth, stories (we still read even to the older boys), kids read on their own
9:00 lights out for all kids
10:00 DH and I go to bed

Sounds like a pretty sweet gig. I hope you recognize how lucky you are.

Lucky? Or pp and her husband make choices (and possibly sacrifices) to have that lifestyle?

I'm not pp, but I stay home with a somewhat similar schedule. I can't tell you how many working moms will tell me they "just can't afford" to not work, as they climb into their brand new Escalade, plan their vacation to Maldives, and completely remodel their kitchen for the 3rd time in 5 years.

Well I’m a wohm and I don’t think PP is ‘lucky.’ Fine if it works for her though but I work because I want to make sure I use my education (I have a phd), am financially independent, and am fully involved in the world beyond just the sphere of my family as a role model for my daughters. My family doesn’t need the money and I choose to work not for the kitchen remodel or escalade or whatever but for the reasons I just stated.

I’m guessing you have your PhD in something “asbergery” because you show very little ability to empathize or see things from a perspective other than your own. I’m guessing either physics? or something really dumb like PR. But you are all wrapped up in your identity as someone better than someone who chooses to be the main caregiver of their child, so you are belittling other people that do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is my day. It isn't as busy as when I was working, but I don't feel bored or listless.

4 kids. Ages 4, 7, 9&10.
Three days a week I wake up at 4:30 and meet friends to workout. The other two days I sleep in.
6:45. Get DD7 up
While she’s getting dressed I also get dressed for the day.
7:15. Eat breakfast with DD7 and DS4. Wake up DS9 and DS10.
7:30 take DD to school.
7:45-8:15 Help boys get ready, pack lunches, clean up breakfast.
8:15- DS 9&10 to school. MWF, DS4 to preschool.
9:00 M&F go down to volunteer at a free clinic. W watch TV or shop. T have friends for coffee/play date. Th take DS4 to swim.
11:30 pick up DS4 from school MWF
12:00. Lunch. Usually out somewhere like the zoo or the playground
1:30. Home. Read to/with DS. Clean/fold laundry while he plays play dough. Sometimes he takes a nap.
3pm. Pick kids up from school
3:30-5pm. Play games, talk to kids about their day. Get dinner prepped.
5:30 dinner. DH home.
6:00 kids do homework and play.
6:30 activities. T, Th swimming, W music and religious Ed. Friday gymnastics and martial arts
8:00 kids get ready for bed, brush teeth, stories (we still read even to the older boys), kids read on their own
9:00 lights out for all kids
10:00 DH and I go to bed

Sounds like a pretty sweet gig. I hope you recognize how lucky you are.

Lucky? Or pp and her husband make choices (and possibly sacrifices) to have that lifestyle?

I'm not pp, but I stay home with a somewhat similar schedule. I can't tell you how many working moms will tell me they "just can't afford" to not work, as they climb into their brand new Escalade, plan their vacation to Maldives, and completely remodel their kitchen for the 3rd time in 5 years.

Well I’m a wohm and I don’t think PP is ‘lucky.’ Fine if it works for her though but I work because I want to make sure I use my education (I have a phd), am financially independent, and am fully involved in the world beyond just the sphere of my family as a role model for my daughters. My family doesn’t need the money and I choose to work not for the kitchen remodel or escalade or whatever but for the reasons I just stated.

I’m guessing you have your PhD in something “asbergery” because you show very little ability to empathize or see things from a perspective other than your own. I’m guessing either physics? or something really dumb like PR. But you are all wrapped up in your identity as someone better than someone who chooses to be the main caregiver of their child, so you are belittling other people that do.

This is one of the dumbest comments I’ve ever seen on this website and that is saying something.
- not pp

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is my day. It isn't as busy as when I was working, but I don't feel bored or listless.

4 kids. Ages 4, 7, 9&10.
Three days a week I wake up at 4:30 and meet friends to workout. The other two days I sleep in.
6:45. Get DD7 up
While she’s getting dressed I also get dressed for the day.
7:15. Eat breakfast with DD7 and DS4. Wake up DS9 and DS10.
7:30 take DD to school.
7:45-8:15 Help boys get ready, pack lunches, clean up breakfast.
8:15- DS 9&10 to school. MWF, DS4 to preschool.
9:00 M&F go down to volunteer at a free clinic. W watch TV or shop. T have friends for coffee/play date. Th take DS4 to swim.
11:30 pick up DS4 from school MWF
12:00. Lunch. Usually out somewhere like the zoo or the playground
1:30. Home. Read to/with DS. Clean/fold laundry while he plays play dough. Sometimes he takes a nap.
3pm. Pick kids up from school
3:30-5pm. Play games, talk to kids about their day. Get dinner prepped.
5:30 dinner. DH home.
6:00 kids do homework and play.
6:30 activities. T, Th swimming, W music and religious Ed. Friday gymnastics and martial arts
8:00 kids get ready for bed, brush teeth, stories (we still read even to the older boys), kids read on their own
9:00 lights out for all kids
10:00 DH and I go to bed

Sounds like a pretty sweet gig. I hope you recognize how lucky you are.

Lucky? Or pp and her husband make choices (and possibly sacrifices) to have that lifestyle?

I'm not pp, but I stay home with a somewhat similar schedule. I can't tell you how many working moms will tell me they "just can't afford" to not work, as they climb into their brand new Escalade, plan their vacation to Maldives, and completely remodel their kitchen for the 3rd time in 5 years.

Well I’m a wohm and I don’t think PP is ‘lucky.’ Fine if it works for her though but I work because I want to make sure I use my education (I have a phd), am financially independent, and am fully involved in the world beyond just the sphere of my family as a role model for my daughters. My family doesn’t need the money and I choose to work not for the kitchen remodel or escalade or whatever but for the reasons I just stated.

Your PhD must not be in logic. PP is lucky because she's doing what makes her happy. Being lucky means you have a choice to choose to do what you want.

-WOHM who also doesn't need the money

[Anonymous]

I am a sahm. I hope I don't complain about being too busy but I do have randomly busy weekends or weeks here and there. Of course those might be the times people need more from me and I have to say I'm busy. I know it sounds awful since I don't work but I do try to help out and say yes whenever I can. I've offered and covered for child care or pick ups at almost every request unless I'm out of town. It really isn't requested that often at all and I never mind it.

I have heard people say wohms think it's a dig to say "I don't know how you do it all" so I've never said it but I feel that way and I think it daily. I marvel that they get way more done than me on a daily basis. I am building a house, my kids are in extracurriculars, I'm planning for summer, volunteering and preparing to move but I know many wohms who have done the same while working and to me it's been a bit overwhelming. I always see the posts complaining about sahms here and I just wish I lived somewhere where sahms were more common to even have a sense of stereotyping them, it's very rare in my area. Everyone works and I feel like I have to almost apologize for not working also.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not disrespecting your choice...just saying please don't complain to me about how busy you are. My kids are school age, so all of us have child care during the school day. I come home and finish working at home with my kids at home. No nanny. One SAHM could not believe I have to go grocery shopping on the weekends.

My staff does my grocery. I could not be bothered. I work less than any SAHM, WOHM, single woman, infertile woman, pregnant women, retired woman, woman sold into sex-slavery, women whose kids have been snatched away from them by ICE - in the entire world. Go on - hate me if you want.

- Ivanka

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wonderful that you can stay at home. Wonderful that you have that choice. I'm sure you keep yourself busy. But...I do everything you do, and work full time (including volunteering at the school by rationing time off). I respect you and your choice but DO NOT complain to me about how busy you are. Thank you.

You are absolutely a work horse. Carry on. I am sipping on my mid-morning latte!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Your mistake is assuming that everyone has the same strengths and weaknesses as you do.

I hope I don't complain about it, but I AM busy. For me. I don't multitask well and I have anxiety, so my level of busy is not yours.

You don't need a medal, you're already earning more money than I am

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is my day. It isn't as busy as when I was working, but I don't feel bored or listless.

4 kids. Ages 4, 7, 9&10.
Three days a week I wake up at 4:30 and meet friends to workout. The other two days I sleep in.
6:45. Get DD7 up
While she’s getting dressed I also get dressed for the day.
7:15. Eat breakfast with DD7 and DS4. Wake up DS9 and DS10.
7:30 take DD to school.
7:45-8:15 Help boys get ready, pack lunches, clean up breakfast.
8:15- DS 9&10 to school. MWF, DS4 to preschool.
9:00 M&F go down to volunteer at a free clinic. W watch TV or shop. T have friends for coffee/play date. Th take DS4 to swim.
11:30 pick up DS4 from school MWF
12:00. Lunch. Usually out somewhere like the zoo or the playground
1:30. Home. Read to/with DS. Clean/fold laundry while he plays play dough. Sometimes he takes a nap.
3pm. Pick kids up from school
3:30-5pm. Play games, talk to kids about their day. Get dinner prepped.
5:30 dinner. DH home.
6:00 kids do homework and play.
6:30 activities. T, Th swimming, W music and religious Ed. Friday gymnastics and martial arts
8:00 kids get ready for bed, brush teeth, stories (we still read even to the older boys), kids read on their own
9:00 lights out for all kids
10:00 DH and I go to bed

Sounds like a pretty sweet gig. I hope you recognize how lucky you are.

Lucky? Or pp and her husband make choices (and possibly sacrifices) to have that lifestyle?

I'm not pp, but I stay home with a somewhat similar schedule. I can't tell you how many working moms will tell me they "just can't afford" to not work, as they climb into their brand new Escalade, plan their vacation to Maldives, and completely remodel their kitchen for the 3rd time in 5 years.

Well I’m a wohm and I don’t think PP is ‘lucky.’ Fine if it works for her though but I work because I want to make sure I use my education (I have a phd), am financially independent, and am fully involved in the world beyond just the sphere of my family as a role model for my daughters. My family doesn’t need the money and I choose to work not for the kitchen remodel or escalade or whatever but for the reasons I just stated.

Who asked you? Really? Who. Asked. You. You don't think butting in here to tear someone else down just because another person calling her lucky and it triggered you isn't the height of rudeness?

A person can be a role model in all sorts of ways. I'm sure the quoted PP is a role model for her children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is my day. It isn't as busy as when I was working, but I don't feel bored or listless.

4 kids. Ages 4, 7, 9&10.
Three days a week I wake up at 4:30 and meet friends to workout. The other two days I sleep in.
6:45. Get DD7 up
While she’s getting dressed I also get dressed for the day.
7:15. Eat breakfast with DD7 and DS4. Wake up DS9 and DS10.
7:30 take DD to school.
7:45-8:15 Help boys get ready, pack lunches, clean up breakfast.
8:15- DS 9&10 to school. MWF, DS4 to preschool.
9:00 M&F go down to volunteer at a free clinic. W watch TV or shop. T have friends for coffee/play date. Th take DS4 to swim.
11:30 pick up DS4 from school MWF
12:00. Lunch. Usually out somewhere like the zoo or the playground
1:30. Home. Read to/with DS. Clean/fold laundry while he plays play dough. Sometimes he takes a nap.
3pm. Pick kids up from school
3:30-5pm. Play games, talk to kids about their day. Get dinner prepped.
5:30 dinner. DH home.
6:00 kids do homework and play.
6:30 activities. T, Th swimming, W music and religious Ed. Friday gymnastics and martial arts
8:00 kids get ready for bed, brush teeth, stories (we still read even to the older boys), kids read on their own
9:00 lights out for all kids
10:00 DH and I go to bed

Sounds like a pretty sweet gig. I hope you recognize how lucky you are.

Lucky? Or pp and her husband make choices (and possibly sacrifices) to have that lifestyle?

I'm not pp, but I stay home with a somewhat similar schedule. I can't tell you how many working moms will tell me they "just can't afford" to not work, as they climb into their brand new Escalade, plan their vacation to Maldives, and completely remodel their kitchen for the 3rd time in 5 years.

Well I’m a wohm and I don’t think PP is ‘lucky.’ Fine if it works for her though but I work because I want to make sure I use my education (I have a phd), am financially independent, and am fully involved in the world beyond just the sphere of my family as a role model for my daughters. My family doesn’t need the money and I choose to work not for the kitchen remodel or escalade or whatever but for the reasons I just stated.

Who asked you? Really? Who. Asked. You. You don't think butting in here to tear someone else down just because another person calling her lucky and it triggered you isn't the height of rudeness?

A person can be a role model in all sorts of ways. I'm sure the quoted PP is a role model for her children.

Pp here who wrote out my schedule. I thought that she said I was lucky because I am a SAHM, still have enough money for four kids, and have very little housework in my schedule. .
I volunteer at a free clinic a couple of days a week. Right now, that’s enough for me. I will work more at another stage of life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wonderful that you can stay at home. Wonderful that you have that choice. I'm sure you keep yourself busy. But...I do everything you do, and work full time (including volunteering at the school by rationing time off). I respect you and your choice but DO NOT complain to me about how busy you are. Thank you.

You are absolutely a work horse. Carry on. I am sipping on my mid-morning latte!

Lol. Because people who work never get a latte during the day!! Oh you're so lucky, I wish I was you.