SAHMs: Stop complaining to me about how busy you are

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You'd have a lot more time on your hands if you weren't so busy judging everyone's life choices.

Mic drop

Shut up, OP. You sound ridiculous and immature.

[Anonymous]

OP, do you even realize how many threads there are on DCUM? That is a LOT of reading to keep up with. I barely have time to take a shower!!!! I am busy.

[Anonymous]

WOHM who don’t need the money - stop complaining about your nanny, your housekeeper and your poor child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not disrespecting your choice...just saying please don't complain to me about how busy you are. My kids are school age, so all of us have child care during the school day. I come home and finish working at home with my kids at home. No nanny. One SAHM could not believe I have to go grocery shopping on the weekends.

Why do you? I'm a divorced Mom with 80% custody. Groceries get delivered on Mondays. It takes 3 minutes to edit my list from the week before.

Look I was at home for 10 years and I love, love being back to work. I respect the shit out of the friends I have of both ilks, they are awesome moms all around. Honestly I feel lucky to be back to work. I loved being home when my children were young but I have a whole new set of things to talk about on a CONSTANT basis. Even though I was a very active mom who was involved with everything, I didn't realize that my world had gotten very narrow. I may have read the news, but the news didnt affect me, really. Now I feel like I live IN the world again.

Again, I loved being home and love working with school age kids. Cleaning people come Friday. Use your time where your SPOUSE can hang out with your kids more efficiently. You sound like a complete drag of a martyr.

[Anonymous]

Your mistake is assuming that everyone has the same strengths and weaknesses as you do.

I hope I don't complain about it, but I AM busy. For me. I don't multitask well and I have anxiety, so my level of busy is not yours.

You don't need a medal, you're already earning more money than I am

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1) I am a nurse, single mom of one. I switched my working hours to 12-hour shifts on Saturdays and Sundays, only. By committing to this I get paid nearly as much as working 8 hours M-F. That way I get 5 days off with my DS! Lots of time to shop, housework, etc. I have an all-day sitter on Saturday for my son, and my mom takes him on Sundays. I only pay for one day of child-care!

2) I also know a personal trainer who switched all her clients and classes to weekends, similar hours to mine. She subs as well and always, alwyas, has more work offers than she can take in her 2 days. Therefore she has her 2 kids during the week with no work interruptions. Ex- husband, parents, and in-laws take the kids on weekends when mom is working, so no one gets burned out with child-caring.

3) real estate agent friend does similar to #2. She shows houses Sat-Sun and does paperwork at home during the week. Lots of time with her kids.

4) Lawyer friend left her large firm and has a few well-paying clients so she works from home about 30 hours a week. No need for commute, work clothes, etc.
So much more time for her 2 kids. Her clients are aware of her intentional situation. She always turns away business.

OP, can you adjust your schedule, to give yourself more time with your kids? It does not happen overnight, but you can work out a time frame to adjust your schedule.

This sounds ok when your kids is preschool age and under but once school starts, I would have hated to have missed the weekend. Too many events are scheduled on weekends -activities, classes, sports, parties, socializing, and I would hate to spend years telling people "sorry I have to work" every single weekend.

Yeah, well, maybe you missed the single mom part but its likely her children are with her spouse. I too am a single mom (of three in ES) and I make my life work for me much like this PP. Nurse, you sound awesome, way to go for crafting the life you want, and offering up several scenarios whereby OP could take the reigns and create a life that she feels content with so she doesn't need to dwell on the choices of others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1) I am a nurse, single mom of one. I switched my working hours to 12-hour shifts on Saturdays and Sundays, only. By committing to this I get paid nearly as much as working 8 hours M-F. That way I get 5 days off with my DS! Lots of time to shop, housework, etc. I have an all-day sitter on Saturday for my son, and my mom takes him on Sundays. I only pay for one day of child-care!

2) I also know a personal trainer who switched all her clients and classes to weekends, similar hours to mine. She subs as well and always, alwyas, has more work offers than she can take in her 2 days. Therefore she has her 2 kids during the week with no work interruptions. Ex- husband, parents, and in-laws take the kids on weekends when mom is working, so no one gets burned out with child-caring.

3) real estate agent friend does similar to #2. She shows houses Sat-Sun and does paperwork at home during the week. Lots of time with her kids.

4) Lawyer friend left her large firm and has a few well-paying clients so she works from home about 30 hours a week. No need for commute, work clothes, etc.
So much more time for her 2 kids. Her clients are aware of her intentional situation. She always turns away business.

OP, can you adjust your schedule, to give yourself more time with your kids? It does not happen overnight, but you can work out a time frame to adjust your schedule.

This sounds ok when your kids is preschool age and under but once school starts, I would have hated to have missed the weekend. Too many events are scheduled on weekends -activities, classes, sports, parties, socializing, and I would hate to spend years telling people "sorry I have to work" every single weekend.

Yeah, well, maybe you missed the single mom part but its likely her children are with her spouse. I too am a single mom (of three in ES) and I make my life work for me much like this PP. Nurse, you sound awesome, way to go for crafting the life you want, and offering up several scenarios whereby OP could take the reigns and create a life that she feels content with so she doesn't need to dwell on the choices of others.

Sorry, the beginning of my post is janky. I meant the nurse said she was single, PP. I miss weekends (thankfully only every other, and thats it) and don't go to my kids events because my abusive ex is there. Sometimes missing things isn't a choice, but finding healthy income earning ways to cope with it surely is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Your mistake is assuming that everyone has the same strengths and weaknesses as you do.

I hope I don't complain about it, but I AM busy. For me. I don't multitask well and I have anxiety, so my level of busy is not yours.

You don't need a medal, you're already earning more money than I am

Its not that it at all. Its that you don't seem to be identifying YOUR strengths and weaknesses well, as the life you have crafted doesn't seem to give you pleasure. I'd identify what your strengths and weaknesses ARE, then formulate a system that works for you so that you get the time and efficiency level that YOU need to be happy. I wish you luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hahahaha! I SAH when my kids were young and now I work out of the home. I was way more exhausted when I SAH. Yes you do everything that a SAH parent does....except care for your children 8-10 hours a day. So that’s 8-10 hours your kids aren’t needing you for a food/diaper change, 8-10 hours they aren’t making a mess in your living room, 8-10 hours a day you don’t have to hear them cry and/or whine.

Not true. My kids are school age. We all have our kids at school during the day. I work during the day and work more when my kids get home - with no nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wonderful that you can stay at home. Wonderful that you have that choice. I'm sure you keep yourself busy. But...I do everything you do, and work full time (including volunteering at the school by rationing time off). I respect you and your choice but DO NOT complain to me about how busy you are. Thank you.

You don’t do everything I do. You don’t watch your young children all day.

It is all relative. My good friend just got remarried and has no kids. She just moved near her new husband’s work and isn’t working. She tells me how busy she is and I think it is laughable.

I can relate to being a working mom and SAHM as well as a part time working mom. I used to have a part time work from home job. It paid well and sounded like a dream job. It was actually the worst because I wanted to participate in all my kids’ activities so I would often do my work at night. I was dead tired. My office job where I got to work in a beautiful office near tons of retail and restaurants was a HUGE break from being home.

My kids are school age, not babies or toddlers. It is exhausting to take care of babies and toddlers. I was a SAHM when they were that young. Now my kids are in school all day and I am still working when they get home. My request is that SAHMs with school age kids stop complaining they are so busy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Your mistake is assuming that everyone has the same strengths and weaknesses as you do.

I hope I don't complain about it, but I AM busy. For me. I don't multitask well and I have anxiety, so my level of busy is not yours.

You don't need a medal, you're already earning more money than I am

Its not that it at all. Its that you don't seem to be identifying YOUR strengths and weaknesses well, as the life you have crafted doesn't seem to give you pleasure. I'd identify what your strengths and weaknesses ARE, then formulate a system that works for you so that you get the time and efficiency level that YOU need to be happy. I wish you luck.

PP you replied to. Sorry, but I find you rather funny and pathetic.

I am happy. I accept my strengths and weaknesses. I have ADHD and anxiety, and it runs in the family. I manage quite well within my limitations.
I am certain that you have limitations too, physical or mental, and it seems you are happy working with what you have.
One day you will understand that people who are different than you are not dying to be you, or unhappy about their fate.

[Anonymous]

I’ve yet to meet a person who doesn’t think they are busy. Everyone’s life is important and consuming to them.

I used to think I was super busy...and then I had kids. But back then I probably spent a lot more time at the office than I do now. It’s all relative.

[Anonymous]

Maybe I’m pathetic, but I don’t grocery shop on weekends with the mutts


Excuse. Excuse. Acronyms. Excuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wonderful that you can stay at home. Wonderful that you have that choice. I'm sure you keep yourself busy. But...I do everything you do, and work full time (including volunteering at the school by rationing time off). I respect you and your choice but DO NOT complain to me about how busy you are. Thank you.

You don’t do everything I do. You don’t watch your young children all day.

It is all relative. My good friend just got remarried and has no kids. She just moved near her new husband’s work and isn’t working. She tells me how busy she is and I think it is laughable.

I can relate to being a working mom and SAHM as well as a part time working mom. I used to have a part time work from home job. It paid well and sounded like a dream job. It was actually the worst because I wanted to participate in all my kids’ activities so I would often do my work at night. I was dead tired. My office job where I got to work in a beautiful office near tons of retail and restaurants was a HUGE break from being home.

My kids are school age, not babies or toddlers. It is exhausting to take care of babies and toddlers. I was a SAHM when they were that young. Now my kids are in school all day and I am still working when they get home. My request is that SAHMs with school age kids stop complaining they are so busy.

Some of us are busy. I think school aged are far harder than little ones. I go multiple times a week to caretake for my MIL... now that is a miserable responsibility spending an hour trying to get food into her and doing hygiene as the nursing home sucks. If I didn't have to do that, I wouldn't be busy but not all SAHM's are what they seem. And, my parents are now needing help too..somehow they expect me to do it vs. paying for help when they can afford it. Life sucks.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, once kids are in school, SAHMs are not as busy as working moms.