DS did something wonderful, yet I am a bit upset

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks he's a badass and a mensch? I would be SUPER proud if my 16 year old did that.

No. I would think he was kinda being a meathead.

He's defending vulnerable people (the girls who are being made into middle-age p*rn fodder). While yes, I would worry like crazy if I had a brave kid like that, I would never try to convince him that MYOB is the moral and ethical way to go about things. My guess is that he could tell that the creepy schmuck wasn't going to put up a fight.

I'm sorry, I missed the part where the girls were naked on the train.

Also, why were these girls "vulnerable"? Because girls are always vulnerable? Guessing there are at least some girls out there who would have yelled, "WHY ARE YOU TAKING PICTURES OF US, YOU PERVERT?"

Girls do not have to be naked to feel uncomfortable. These girls are 15/16 years old; its quite inappropriate for a 50+ man taking their picture in the subway. Since it was so weird, they probably could not think of ways to stop it.

How do you know how old the man was?

DS told me the man must be above 50.

He was lucky he didn’t approach this 50+ man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not illegal to take pictures of strangers in public. Agree that your DS was acting dangerously.

Agreed. Though what that guy did is weird and gross, it likely wasn't illegal. And it sounds like your son was possibly trying to impress the girls in his group as much as any other motivation.

DS does not need to impress the girls in their group. They have been friends for years (pretty much have grown up together) and DS is super well-liked by the girls for his calm demeanor. So, I do not think his motivation was anything but to stop this weirdo taking his friends' picture in the subway; especially since the girls were uncomfortable. My only issue was he should not have confronted this older man alone - I do not know if there was security person he could have approached (not familiar about how that works in NY metro).

Ok, mom.

I do not know why you have to roll your eyes in an anonymous forum. This is what I know from the girls who visit our home often. Their group meets every week in one kid's home and we know all the boys and girls in that group. So, I am fairly certain he does not have to impress any of the girls in their group. In fact, I am also told by all the parents of the kids how DS is responsible and helpful when he visits their homes.

Yes, I think, it was stupid for him to confront a stranger in a subway, even though his reasons were right. I will not second guess his reason, even when I do not agree with how he handled it. I am still proud of him.

DP. It's fine to be proud of him. I'm just not sure how you can really truly know whether HE feels like he has to impress one (or more) of the girls. He might like one of the girls who was being photographed and that could have played a part in why he confronted the man. Most 16yo boys do not discuss their feelings for girls with their mothers, so I question how you can be so sure this had nothing to do with it.

It's not like he'd be the first guy to do something dumb to get a girl's attention, however mild-mannered and responsible he may otherwise be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks he's a badass and a mensch? I would be SUPER proud if my 16 year old did that.

No. I would think he was kinda being a meathead.

He's defending vulnerable people (the girls who are being made into middle-age p*rn fodder). While yes, I would worry like crazy if I had a brave kid like that, I would never try to convince him that MYOB is the moral and ethical way to go about things. My guess is that he could tell that the creepy schmuck wasn't going to put up a fight.

I'm sorry, I missed the part where the girls were naked on the train.

Also, why were these girls "vulnerable"? Because girls are always vulnerable? Guessing there are at least some girls out there who would have yelled, "WHY ARE YOU TAKING PICTURES OF US, YOU PERVERT?"

Girls do not have to be naked to feel uncomfortable. These girls are 15/16 years old; its quite inappropriate for a 50+ man taking their picture in the subway. Since it was so weird, they probably could not think of ways to stop it.

How do you know how old the man was?

DS told me the man must be above 50.

He was lucky he didn’t approach this 50+ man.

Why, you also have the habit of taking pictures of unknown teenager girls in subway?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not illegal to take pictures of strangers in public. Agree that your DS was acting dangerously.

Agreed. Though what that guy did is weird and gross, it likely wasn't illegal. And it sounds like your son was possibly trying to impress the girls in his group as much as any other motivation.

DS does not need to impress the girls in their group. They have been friends for years (pretty much have grown up together) and DS is super well-liked by the girls for his calm demeanor. So, I do not think his motivation was anything but to stop this weirdo taking his friends' picture in the subway; especially since the girls were uncomfortable. My only issue was he should not have confronted this older man alone - I do not know if there was security person he could have approached (not familiar about how that works in NY metro).

Ok, mom.

I do not know why you have to roll your eyes in an anonymous forum. This is what I know from the girls who visit our home often. Their group meets every week in one kid's home and we know all the boys and girls in that group. So, I am fairly certain he does not have to impress any of the girls in their group. In fact, I am also told by all the parents of the kids how DS is responsible and helpful when he visits their homes.

Yes, I think, it was stupid for him to confront a stranger in a subway, even though his reasons were right. I will not second guess his reason, even when I do not agree with how he handled it. I am still proud of him.

DP. It's fine to be proud of him. I'm just not sure how you can really truly know whether HE feels like he has to impress one (or more) of the girls. He might like one of the girls who was being photographed and that could have played a part in why he confronted the man. Most 16yo boys do not discuss their feelings for girls with their mothers, so I question how you can be so sure this had nothing to do with it.

It's not like he'd be the first guy to do something dumb to get a girl's attention, however mild-mannered and responsible he may otherwise be.

Well, you may not believe me, but my DS discusses his feelings with me. I have told him since he was a child that I will always believe him unless he is proven untrustworthy by facts. I also have told him that I may not agree with his actions, but will not judge him as a person. So, he has told me his thoughts about the girls and boys (friends) pretty candidly, up until now. There is always a first time; but I have no reason to destruct what he says so far.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not illegal to take pictures of strangers in public. Agree that your DS was acting dangerously.

Agreed. Though what that guy did is weird and gross, it likely wasn't illegal. And it sounds like your son was possibly trying to impress the girls in his group as much as any other motivation.

+1 Yep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not illegal to take pictures of strangers in public. Agree that your DS was acting dangerously.

Agreed. Though what that guy did is weird and gross, it likely wasn't illegal. And it sounds like your son was possibly trying to impress the girls in his group as much as any other motivation.

DS does not need to impress the girls in their group. They have been friends for years (pretty much have grown up together) and DS is super well-liked by the girls for his calm demeanor. So, I do not think his motivation was anything but to stop this weirdo taking his friends' picture in the subway; especially since the girls were uncomfortable. My only issue was he should not have confronted this older man alone - I do not know if there was security person he could have approached (not familiar about how that works in NY metro).

Ok, mom.

I do not know why you have to roll your eyes in an anonymous forum. This is what I know from the girls who visit our home often. Their group meets every week in one kid's home and we know all the boys and girls in that group. So, I am fairly certain he does not have to impress any of the girls in their group. In fact, I am also told by all the parents of the kids how DS is responsible and helpful when he visits their homes.

Yes, I think, it was stupid for him to confront a stranger in a subway, even though his reasons were right. I will not second guess his reason, even when I do not agree with how he handled it. I am still proud of him.

DP. It's fine to be proud of him. I'm just not sure how you can really truly know whether HE feels like he has to impress one (or more) of the girls. He might like one of the girls who was being photographed and that could have played a part in why he confronted the man. Most 16yo boys do not discuss their feelings for girls with their mothers, so I question how you can be so sure this had nothing to do with it.

It's not like he'd be the first guy to do something dumb to get a girl's attention, however mild-mannered and responsible he may otherwise be.

Well, you may not believe me, but my DS discusses his feelings with me. I have told him since he was a child that I will always believe him unless he is proven untrustworthy by facts. I also have told him that I may not agree with his actions, but will not judge him as a person. So, he has told me his thoughts about the girls and boys (friends) pretty candidly, up until now. There is always a first time; but I have no reason to destruct what he says so far.

I would not be proud of my son if he told me this story. Know why? You said in your original post there were other boys ready to jump in if things escalated. You're saying that your son and his friends were prepared to get physical if need be to get someone to delete photos taken in public, legally. If that situation had escalated, there is a decent chance your son and his friends could have been on the wrong side of the law. I would not be proud that he was prepared to be some kind of subway vigilante because some rando took a few pics. Also, sidebar: these girls need to toughen up. It's a nasty world for girls out there. If someone taking pictures of you in public is the worst it gets, be grateful.

[Anonymous]

Imagine being charged with assault. You can forget college goodbye!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not illegal to take pictures of strangers in public. Agree that your DS was acting dangerously.

Agreed. Though what that guy did is weird and gross, it likely wasn't illegal. And it sounds like your son was possibly trying to impress the girls in his group as much as any other motivation.

DS does not need to impress the girls in their group. They have been friends for years (pretty much have grown up together) and DS is super well-liked by the girls for his calm demeanor. So, I do not think his motivation was anything but to stop this weirdo taking his friends' picture in the subway; especially since the girls were uncomfortable. My only issue was he should not have confronted this older man alone - I do not know if there was security person he could have approached (not familiar about how that works in NY metro).

Ok, mom.

I do not know why you have to roll your eyes in an anonymous forum. This is what I know from the girls who visit our home often. Their group meets every week in one kid's home and we know all the boys and girls in that group. So, I am fairly certain he does not have to impress any of the girls in their group. In fact, I am also told by all the parents of the kids how DS is responsible and helpful when he visits their homes.

Yes, I think, it was stupid for him to confront a stranger in a subway, even though his reasons were right. I will not second guess his reason, even when I do not agree with how he handled it. I am still proud of him.

DP. It's fine to be proud of him. I'm just not sure how you can really truly know whether HE feels like he has to impress one (or more) of the girls. He might like one of the girls who was being photographed and that could have played a part in why he confronted the man. Most 16yo boys do not discuss their feelings for girls with their mothers, so I question how you can be so sure this had nothing to do with it.

It's not like he'd be the first guy to do something dumb to get a girl's attention, however mild-mannered and responsible he may otherwise be.

Well, you may not believe me, but my DS discusses his feelings with me. I have told him since he was a child that I will always believe him unless he is proven untrustworthy by facts. I also have told him that I may not agree with his actions, but will not judge him as a person. So, he has told me his thoughts about the girls and boys (friends) pretty candidly, up until now. There is always a first time; but I have no reason to destruct what he says so far.

I would not be proud of my son if he told me this story. Know why? You said in your original post there were other boys ready to jump in if things escalated. You're saying that your son and his friends were prepared to get physical if need be to get someone to delete photos taken in public, legally. If that situation had escalated, there is a decent chance your son and his friends could have been on the wrong side of the law. I would not be proud that he was prepared to be some kind of subway vigilante because some rando took a few pics. Also, sidebar: these girls need to toughen up. It's a nasty world for girls out there. If someone taking pictures of you in public is the worst it gets, be grateful.

You are part of the problem. Girls wouldn't need to toughen up if people called out these perverts and stopped them each time. Why should we allow these men to treat girls and women this way?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks he's a badass and a mensch? I would be SUPER proud if my 16 year old did that.

No. I would think he was kinda being a meathead.

He's defending vulnerable people (the girls who are being made into middle-age p*rn fodder). While yes, I would worry like crazy if I had a brave kid like that, I would never try to convince him that MYOB is the moral and ethical way to go about things. My guess is that he could tell that the creepy schmuck wasn't going to put up a fight.

I'm sorry, I missed the part where the girls were naked on the train.

Also, why were these girls "vulnerable"? Because girls are always vulnerable? Guessing there are at least some girls out there who would have yelled, "WHY ARE YOU TAKING PICTURES OF US, YOU PERVERT?"

Girls do not have to be naked to feel uncomfortable. These girls are 15/16 years old; its quite inappropriate for a 50+ man taking their picture in the subway. Since it was so weird, they probably could not think of ways to stop it.

How do you know how old the man was?

DS told me the man must be above 50.

He was lucky he didn’t approach this 50+ man.

Why, you also have the habit of taking pictures of unknown teenager girls in subway?

No but anyone who approach me with a demand, i would consider him having a hostile intention

[Anonymous]

Mother of 2 boys here, and I would be proud of the intent but not of the action. First, it's stupid to get into anything with a stranger, especially when that involves physically wresting a possession from their hands. The fact that he didn't think through the possible consequences would be a big reality check for me about my son's judgment.

Also, it seems immensly paternalistic to step in and try to handle this on behalf of the girls. The PP who said they probably couldn't think of anything to stop it needs to learn how to use her voice, and encourage her daughters to do the same. OP, your son should have supported his friends, not stepped in to play the (male) hero.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not illegal to take pictures of strangers in public. Agree that your DS was acting dangerously.

Agreed. Though what that guy did is weird and gross, it likely wasn't illegal. And it sounds like your son was possibly trying to impress the girls in his group as much as any other motivation.

DS does not need to impress the girls in their group. They have been friends for years (pretty much have grown up together) and DS is super well-liked by the girls for his calm demeanor. So, I do not think his motivation was anything but to stop this weirdo taking his friends' picture in the subway; especially since the girls were uncomfortable. My only issue was he should not have confronted this older man alone - I do not know if there was security person he could have approached (not familiar about how that works in NY metro).

Ok, mom.

I do not know why you have to roll your eyes in an anonymous forum. This is what I know from the girls who visit our home often. Their group meets every week in one kid's home and we know all the boys and girls in that group. So, I am fairly certain he does not have to impress any of the girls in their group. In fact, I am also told by all the parents of the kids how DS is responsible and helpful when he visits their homes.

Yes, I think, it was stupid for him to confront a stranger in a subway, even though his reasons were right. I will not second guess his reason, even when I do not agree with how he handled it. I am still proud of him.

DP. It's fine to be proud of him. I'm just not sure how you can really truly know whether HE feels like he has to impress one (or more) of the girls. He might like one of the girls who was being photographed and that could have played a part in why he confronted the man. Most 16yo boys do not discuss their feelings for girls with their mothers, so I question how you can be so sure this had nothing to do with it.

It's not like he'd be the first guy to do something dumb to get a girl's attention, however mild-mannered and responsible he may otherwise be.

Well, you may not believe me, but my DS discusses his feelings with me. I have told him since he was a child that I will always believe him unless he is proven untrustworthy by facts. I also have told him that I may not agree with his actions, but will not judge him as a person. So, he has told me his thoughts about the girls and boys (friends) pretty candidly, up until now. There is always a first time; but I have no reason to destruct what he says so far.

I would not be proud of my son if he told me this story. Know why? You said in your original post there were other boys ready to jump in if things escalated. You're saying that your son and his friends were prepared to get physical if need be to get someone to delete photos taken in public, legally. If that situation had escalated, there is a decent chance your son and his friends could have been on the wrong side of the law. I would not be proud that he was prepared to be some kind of subway vigilante because some rando took a few pics. Also, sidebar: these girls need to toughen up. It's a nasty world for girls out there. If someone taking pictures of you in public is the worst it gets, be grateful.

You are part of the problem. Girls wouldn't need to toughen up if people called out these perverts and stopped them each time. Why should we allow these men to treat girls and women this way?

They were in a large group. Girls had equal opportunity to call out the old dude on his behavior.

[Anonymous]

^^^would you be comfortable engaging with a dude who is creeping on you? I sure as sh*t wasn't when I was a teenager. As a young adult, I called a guy out for creeping and he punched me in my head.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That’s how you get killed. Deleted pics can easily recovered too. Dumb kid.

Exactly. Probably has his phone set to automatically upload new pics to the cloud. Those “deleted” pics are still that dude’s spank bank material.

It was a good lesson for the girls that most men are trash and as wimen, they are just seen as objects.

I literally saw a guy stab another guy because he confronted the first guy for not giving up his seat for a pregnant lady. The dude waited until the next stop, stabbed the guy and ran off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not illegal to take pictures of strangers in public. Agree that your DS was acting dangerously.

Agreed. Though what that guy did is weird and gross, it likely wasn't illegal. And it sounds like your son was possibly trying to impress the girls in his group as much as any other motivation.

+1 Yep.

+100 Girls and women do not need your son defending them. You said this is his first time he has shown toxic masculinity- confronting people and threatening violence?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not illegal to take pictures of strangers in public. Agree that your DS was acting dangerously.

Agreed. Though what that guy did is weird and gross, it likely wasn't illegal. And it sounds like your son was possibly trying to impress the girls in his group as much as any other motivation.

DS does not need to impress the girls in their group. They have been friends for years (pretty much have grown up together) and DS is super well-liked by the girls for his calm demeanor. So, I do not think his motivation was anything but to stop this weirdo taking his friends' picture in the subway; especially since the girls were uncomfortable. My only issue was he should not have confronted this older man alone - I do not know if there was security person he could have approached (not familiar about how that works in NY metro).

Ok, mom.

I do not know why you have to roll your eyes in an anonymous forum. This is what I know from the girls who visit our home often. Their group meets every week in one kid's home and we know all the boys and girls in that group. So, I am fairly certain he does not have to impress any of the girls in their group. In fact, I am also told by all the parents of the kids how DS is responsible and helpful when he visits their homes.

Yes, I think, it was stupid for him to confront a stranger in a subway, even though his reasons were right. I will not second guess his reason, even when I do not agree with how he handled it. I am still proud of him.

DP. It's fine to be proud of him. I'm just not sure how you can really truly know whether HE feels like he has to impress one (or more) of the girls. He might like one of the girls who was being photographed and that could have played a part in why he confronted the man. Most 16yo boys do not discuss their feelings for girls with their mothers, so I question how you can be so sure this had nothing to do with it.

It's not like he'd be the first guy to do something dumb to get a girl's attention, however mild-mannered and responsible he may otherwise be.

Well, you may not believe me, but my DS discusses his feelings with me. I have told him since he was a child that I will always believe him unless he is proven untrustworthy by facts. I also have told him that I may not agree with his actions, but will not judge him as a person. So, he has told me his thoughts about the girls and boys (friends) pretty candidly, up until now. There is always a first time; but I have no reason to destruct what he says so far.

I would not be proud of my son if he told me this story. Know why? You said in your original post there were other boys ready to jump in if things escalated. You're saying that your son and his friends were prepared to get physical if need be to get someone to delete photos taken in public, legally. If that situation had escalated, there is a decent chance your son and his friends could have been on the wrong side of the law. I would not be proud that he was prepared to be some kind of subway vigilante because some rando took a few pics. Also, sidebar: these girls need to toughen up. It's a nasty world for girls out there. If someone taking pictures of you in public is the worst it gets, be grateful.

You are part of the problem. Girls wouldn't need to toughen up if people called out these perverts and stopped them each time. Why should we allow these men to treat girls and women this way?

They were in a large group. Girls had equal opportunity to call out the old dude on his behavior.

Yes, exactly.

Legally speaking, had your son and the other boys thrown punches, they would have been arrested and in the wrong. As long as they were not upskirt pictures, it was not illegal. You can even take photos of young kids in public if you want.