DS did something wonderful, yet I am a bit upset

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks he's a badass and a mensch? I would be SUPER proud if my 16 year old did that.

Being a hero and being a dead body in morgue is one mistake away

that's absurd. yes, one has to learn when to walk away. but that doesn't mean you never try to help anyone or stop a bad thing that's happening.

And this was one he should’ve walked away

Obviously not. The schmuck gave up his phone and let his pictures be deleted. I assume OP's son properly sized up the situation. JFC we used to send kids 2 years older than him to literally fight wars. Kids are not that stupid.

You have kids?

Yes, I do. Standing up to bullies is one of our family's core values. Yes, I would be terrified to know that he did such a thing (and would counsel him to learn street smarts and de-escalation techniques) but I would never tell him to be a coward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:boy does DCUM lack a backbone and sense of moral imagination. I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

That's what I am thinking, too. Things won't get better for girls and women until more men (like op's ds) stand up for them. If violence erupted, then so be it. Women's health and safety are worth fighting for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks he's a badass and a mensch? I would be SUPER proud if my 16 year old did that.

Being a hero and being a dead body in morgue is one mistake away

that's absurd. yes, one has to learn when to walk away. but that doesn't mean you never try to help anyone or stop a bad thing that's happening.

And this was one he should’ve walked away

Obviously not. The schmuck gave up his phone and let his pictures be deleted. I assume OP's son properly sized up the situation. JFC we used to send kids 2 years older than him to literally fight wars. Kids are not that stupid.

Don’t play Russian roulette with your kid’s life

[Anonymous]

He did WONDERFUL.

And he might not actually have gotten into a fight. It's what he says, but...

Please congratulate him for me!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not illegal to take pictures of strangers in public. Agree that your DS was acting dangerously.

Agreed. Though what that guy did is weird and gross, it likely wasn't illegal. And it sounds like your son was possibly trying to impress the girls in his group as much as any other motivation.

I was going to post that.

His heart was in the right place, but he was mis informed and reckless.

[Anonymous]

If I were a concealed carry owner and some kid(s) approached and demand to see my phone that I was playing with, I cannot say I’d not use it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks he's a badass and a mensch? I would be SUPER proud if my 16 year old did that.

Being a hero and being a dead body in morgue is one mistake away

that's absurd. yes, one has to learn when to walk away. but that doesn't mean you never try to help anyone or stop a bad thing that's happening.

And this was one he should’ve walked away

Obviously not. The schmuck gave up his phone and let his pictures be deleted. I assume OP's son properly sized up the situation. JFC we used to send kids 2 years older than him to literally fight wars. Kids are not that stupid.

You have kids?

Yes, I do. Standing up to bullies is one of our family's core values. Yes, I would be terrified to know that he did such a thing (and would counsel him to learn street smarts and de-escalation techniques) but I would never tell him to be a coward.

Let’s be clear. It’s op’s son who approached this person. That person wasn’t doing anything illegal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks he's a badass and a mensch? I would be SUPER proud if my 16 year old did that.

No. I would think he was kinda being a meathead.

He's defending vulnerable people (the girls who are being made into middle-age p*rn fodder). While yes, I would worry like crazy if I had a brave kid like that, I would never try to convince him that MYOB is the moral and ethical way to go about things. My guess is that he could tell that the creepy schmuck wasn't going to put up a fight.

I'm sorry, I missed the part where the girls were naked on the train.

Also, why were these girls "vulnerable"? Because girls are always vulnerable? Guessing there are at least some girls out there who would have yelled, "WHY ARE YOU TAKING PICTURES OF US, YOU PERVERT?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s how you get killed. Deleted pics can easily recovered too. Dumb kid.

Yes.

I'm with you OP. I'd be proud that your son knew it was wrong and stood up for his friends; however, he should've called the police/security for assistance. If the man hadn't cooperated and punched your son in the head or, worse, pulled out a weapon, your son could be dead.

I'm thankful for you both that it didn't turn out that way, but your DS needs to be warned that he's not the hero in some movie. He needs to leave the cowboy shit at home and call for law enforcement in the future.

Interestingly he is not a cowboy-like at all. He is quite calm and measured in his responses all the time. So, this incident surprised me and worried me.

Come on mom. He is a 16 yo young man with girls with his hormones running wild. Are you really surprised? Tell him to think with his head but his hormones. Consider himself lucky.

Guaranteed he became the hero to those girls & a few of them have crushes on him for defending their honor.

I grew up in NYC & have been taking mass transit alone since middle school. He shouldn't have approached the guy, the best thing he could have done was called for a station attendant, who will call for the police if necessary.

Here's a tip that got us out of a couple of similar situations.
Next time he's in a large group with attractive women & there are more boys than girls, the safest thing to do is (especially if they're standing) have the boys huddle around the girls... like in a football huddle. They don't have to be hovering over them, but standing a little staggered on the outside of the girls makes it more difficult for degenerates to get a good look at them & your son will feel less inclined to have to defend their honor.

[Anonymous]

Your son has no street smarts. What the guy did was perfectly legal. If the girls were uncomfortable in this situation, they should have moved to a different car of the train. You simply can not have any expectation of privacy when you are in public. Your son was very, VERY lucky.

Love,
A NYer who would have laughed in his face at his "request/demand" and never given him my phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:boy does DCUM lack a backbone and sense of moral imagination. I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

That's what I am thinking, too. Things won't get better for girls and women until more men (like op's ds) stand up for them. If violence erupted, then so be it. Women's health and safety are worth fighting for.

Were the girls unsafe? and unhealthy?

it's legal to take pictures of people in public.

Should we take the camera of every asian on the mall taking pictures of blonde kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks he's a badass and a mensch? I would be SUPER proud if my 16 year old did that.

Being a hero and being a dead body in morgue is one mistake away

that's absurd. yes, one has to learn when to walk away. but that doesn't mean you never try to help anyone or stop a bad thing that's happening.

And this was one he should’ve walked away

Obviously not. The schmuck gave up his phone and let his pictures be deleted. I assume OP's son properly sized up the situation. JFC we used to send kids 2 years older than him to literally fight wars. Kids are not that stupid.

You have kids?

Yes, I do. Standing up to bullies is one of our family's core values. Yes, I would be terrified to know that he did such a thing (and would counsel him to learn street smarts and de-escalation techniques) but I would never tell him to be a coward.

Let’s be clear. It’s op’s son who approached this person. That person wasn’t doing anything illegal.

he was being a creeper. public behavior doesn't have to be illegal to be offensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s how you get killed. Deleted pics can easily recovered too. Dumb kid.

Yes.

I'm with you OP. I'd be proud that your son knew it was wrong and stood up for his friends; however, he should've called the police/security for assistance. If the man hadn't cooperated and punched your son in the head or, worse, pulled out a weapon, your son could be dead.

I'm thankful for you both that it didn't turn out that way, but your DS needs to be warned that he's not the hero in some movie. He needs to leave the cowboy shit at home and call for law enforcement in the future.

Interestingly he is not a cowboy-like at all. He is quite calm and measured in his responses all the time. So, this incident surprised me and worried me.

Come on mom. He is a 16 yo young man with girls with his hormones running wild. Are you really surprised? Tell him to think with his head but his hormones. Consider himself lucky.

Guaranteed he became the hero to those girls & a few of them have crushes on him for defending their honor.

I grew up in NYC & have been taking mass transit alone since middle school. He shouldn't have approached the guy, the best thing he could have done was called for a station attendant, who will call for the police if necessary.

Here's a tip that got us out of a couple of similar situations.
Next time he's in a large group with attractive women & there are more boys than girls, the safest thing to do is (especially if they're standing) have the boys huddle around the girls... like in a football huddle. They don't have to be hovering over them, but standing a little staggered on the outside of the girls makes it more difficult for degenerates to get a good look at them & your son will feel less inclined to have to defend their honor.

ffs. that's your solution, as opposed to calling out creeper behavior? coward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:boy does DCUM lack a backbone and sense of moral imagination. I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

That's what I am thinking, too. Things won't get better for girls and women until more men (like op's ds) stand up for them. If violence erupted, then so be it. Women's health and safety are worth fighting for.

Were the girls unsafe? and unhealthy?

it's legal to take pictures of people in public.

Should we take the camera of every asian on the mall taking pictures of blonde kids?

I guess you missed a WHOLE lot of cultural conversation but -- street harassment and creeper behavior in public absolutely impacts girls and women.

[Anonymous]

OP, here's a good article to read with your son and discuss: https://www.citylab.com/life/2015/03/assault-on-the-subway-what-can-a-bystander-do/388700/