Reply to DS did something wonderful, yet I am a bit upset

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's not illegal to take pictures of strangers in public.  Agree that your DS was acting dangerously.[/quote]

Agreed. Though what that guy did is weird and gross, it likely wasn't illegal. And it sounds like your son was possibly trying to impress the girls in his group as much as any other motivation. [/quote]

DS does not need to impress the girls in their group. They have been friends for years (pretty much have grown up together) and [b]DS is super well-liked by the girls for his calm demeanor. [/b]So, I do not think his motivation was anything but to stop this weirdo taking his friends' picture in the subway; especially since the girls were uncomfortable. My only issue was he should not have confronted this older man alone - I do not know if there was security person he could have approached (not familiar about how that works in NY metro).[/quote]

Ok, mom.  :roll: [/quote]

I do not know why you have to roll your eyes in an anonymous forum. This is what I know from the girls who visit our home often. Their group meets every week in one kid's home and we know all the boys and girls in that group. So, I am fairly certain he does not have to impress any of the girls in their group. In fact, I am also told by all the parents of the kids how DS is responsible and helpful when he visits their homes.

Yes, I think, it was stupid for him to confront a stranger in a subway, even though his reasons were right. I will not second guess his reason, even when I do not agree with how he handled it. I am still proud of him. [/quote]

DP.  It's fine to be proud of him.  I'm just not sure how you can really truly know whether HE feels like he has to impress one (or more) of the girls. He might like one of the girls who was being photographed and that could have played a part in why he confronted the man.  Most 16yo boys do not discuss their feelings for girls with their mothers, so I question how you can be so sure this had nothing to do with it.

It's not like he'd be the first guy to do something dumb to get a girl's attention, however mild-mannered and responsible he may otherwise be. [/quote]

Well, you may not believe me, but my DS discusses his feelings with me. I have told him since he was a child that I will always believe him unless he is proven untrustworthy by facts. I also have told him that I may not agree with his actions, but will not judge him as a person. So, he has told me his thoughts about the girls and boys (friends) pretty candidly, up until now. There is always a first time; but I have no reason to destruct what he says so far.[/quote]

I would not be proud of my son if he told me this story. Know why? You said in your original post there were other boys ready to jump in if things escalated. You're saying that your son and his friends were prepared to get physical if need be to get someone to delete photos taken in public, legally. If that situation had escalated, there is a decent chance your son and his friends could have been on the wrong side of the law. I would not be proud that he was prepared to be some kind of subway vigilante because some rando took a few pics. Also, sidebar: these girls need to toughen up. It's a nasty world for girls out there. If someone taking pictures of you in public is the worst it gets, be grateful.[/quote]

You are part of the problem. Girls wouldn't need to toughen up if people called out these perverts and stopped them each time. Why should we allow these men to treat girls and women this way?[/quote]

They were in a large group. Girls had equal opportunity to call out the old dude on his behavior. [/quote]

Yes, exactly.

Legally speaking, had your son and the other boys thrown punches, they would have been arrested and in the wrong.  As long as they were not upskirt pictures, it was not illegal. You can even take photos of young kids in public if you want. [/quote]

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