DS did something wonderful, yet I am a bit upset

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not illegal to take pictures of strangers in public. Agree that your DS was acting dangerously.

Agreed. Though what that guy did is weird and gross, it likely wasn't illegal. And it sounds like your son was possibly trying to impress the girls in his group as much as any other motivation.

DS does not need to impress the girls in their group. They have been friends for years (pretty much have grown up together) and DS is super well-liked by the girls for his calm demeanor. So, I do not think his motivation was anything but to stop this weirdo taking his friends' picture in the subway; especially since the girls were uncomfortable. My only issue was he should not have confronted this older man alone - I do not know if there was security person he could have approached (not familiar about how that works in NY metro).

[Anonymous]

My DS is 29 and took on a supervisor who was harassing women. I'm hugely proud of him, even though it cost him points with the bosses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would talk to a local police officer., tell him the story and ask him or her to talk to your DS. It worked out for you DS, but could have ended very differently.

Oh, I am absorbing all the suggestions to talk to him calmly again. This sounds great. We have a very good police officer family friend - I would ask him to DS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not illegal to take pictures of strangers in public. Agree that your DS was acting dangerously.

Agreed. Though what that guy did is weird and gross, it likely wasn't illegal. And it sounds like your son was possibly trying to impress the girls in his group as much as any other motivation.

DS does not need to impress the girls in their group. They have been friends for years (pretty much have grown up together) and DS is super well-liked by the girls for his calm demeanor. So, I do not think his motivation was anything but to stop this weirdo taking his friends' picture in the subway; especially since the girls were uncomfortable. My only issue was he should not have confronted this older man alone - I do not know if there was security person he could have approached (not familiar about how that works in NY metro).

No, he should not have confronted this man, period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not illegal to take pictures of strangers in public. Agree that your DS was acting dangerously.

Agreed. Though what that guy did is weird and gross, it likely wasn't illegal. And it sounds like your son was possibly trying to impress the girls in his group as much as any other motivation.

DS does not need to impress the girls in their group. They have been friends for years (pretty much have grown up together) and DS is super well-liked by the girls for his calm demeanor. So, I do not think his motivation was anything but to stop this weirdo taking his friends' picture in the subway; especially since the girls were uncomfortable. My only issue was he should not have confronted this older man alone - I do not know if there was security person he could have approached (not familiar about how that works in NY metro).

Ok, mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not illegal to take pictures of strangers in public. Agree that your DS was acting dangerously.

Agreed. Though what that guy did is weird and gross, it likely wasn't illegal. And it sounds like your son was possibly trying to impress the girls in his group as much as any other motivation.

DS does not need to impress the girls in their group. They have been friends for years (pretty much have grown up together) and DS is super well-liked by the girls for his calm demeanor. So, I do not think his motivation was anything but to stop this weirdo taking his friends' picture in the subway; especially since the girls were uncomfortable. My only issue was he should not have confronted this older man alone - I do not know if there was security person he could have approached (not familiar about how that works in NY metro).

Ok, mom.

Why do you doubt the idea that there are good guys? Good guys exist, and they are generally good as teens as well. My younger brother is like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks he's a badass and a mensch? I would be SUPER proud if my 16 year old did that.

Being a hero and being a dead body in morgue is one mistake away

Sadly, correct.

[Anonymous]

"Would have". He didn't fight them, Op. Choose to think the best. Don't dissect the details, especially told by a teen, especially if it leads you to be critical. It's just not worth it. Not worth speculating. Especially not worth speculating since he is soon to be his own person, an adult, responsible for himself. Choose to think the best, in part, because it is the way forward to having a good adult to adult relationship with your DS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not illegal to take pictures of strangers in public. Agree that your DS was acting dangerously.

Agreed. Though what that guy did is weird and gross, it likely wasn't illegal. And it sounds like your son was possibly trying to impress the girls in his group as much as any other motivation.

DS does not need to impress the girls in their group. They have been friends for years (pretty much have grown up together) and DS is super well-liked by the girls for his calm demeanor. So, I do not think his motivation was anything but to stop this weirdo taking his friends' picture in the subway; especially since the girls were uncomfortable. My only issue was he should not have confronted this older man alone - I do not know if there was security person he could have approached (not familiar about how that works in NY metro).

Ok, mom.

Why do you doubt the idea that there are good guys? Good guys exist, and they are generally good as teens as well. My younger brother is like this.

+1. My cousin who is serving 15 years at the moment (falsely accused of course) is like that too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not illegal to take pictures of strangers in public. Agree that your DS was acting dangerously.

Agreed. Though what that guy did is weird and gross, it likely wasn't illegal. And it sounds like your son was possibly trying to impress the girls in his group as much as any other motivation.

DS does not need to impress the girls in their group. They have been friends for years (pretty much have grown up together) and DS is super well-liked by the girls for his calm demeanor. So, I do not think his motivation was anything but to stop this weirdo taking his friends' picture in the subway; especially since the girls were uncomfortable. My only issue was he should not have confronted this older man alone - I do not know if there was security person he could have approached (not familiar about how that works in NY metro).

Ok, mom.

I do not know why you have to roll your eyes in an anonymous forum. This is what I know from the girls who visit our home often. Their group meets every week in one kid's home and we know all the boys and girls in that group. So, I am fairly certain he does not have to impress any of the girls in their group. In fact, I am also told by all the parents of the kids how DS is responsible and helpful when he visits their homes.

Yes, I think, it was stupid for him to confront a stranger in a subway, even though his reasons were right. I will not second guess his reason, even when I do not agree with how he handled it. I am still proud of him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not illegal to take pictures of strangers in public. Agree that your DS was acting dangerously.

Agreed. Though what that guy did is weird and gross, it likely wasn't illegal. And it sounds like your son was possibly trying to impress the girls in his group as much as any other motivation.

DS does not need to impress the girls in their group. They have been friends for years (pretty much have grown up together) and DS is super well-liked by the girls for his calm demeanor. So, I do not think his motivation was anything but to stop this weirdo taking his friends' picture in the subway; especially since the girls were uncomfortable. My only issue was he should not have confronted this older man alone - I do not know if there was security person he could have approached (not familiar about how that works in NY metro).

Ok, mom.

Why do you doubt the idea that there are good guys? Good guys exist, and they are generally good as teens as well. My younger brother is like this.

Yeah, I'm not sure how you got from the eyeroll that I don't think "good guys exist." Bizarre leap of logic. My point is that mom can't possibly know for sure that her son's motivations didn't have at least something to do with impressing girls.

Also, it's a little Victorian how he's to be praised for swooping in here. Like these girls were on the fainting couch and needed their big, strong male friend to confront a stranger on a NYC subway and DEMAND his phone. I am from NYC, and I am AMAZED this gross picture-taking guy--yes, I do think that dude was gross and deserved a smack--that this gross picture-taking guy did not tell some 16-year-old kid to shove it up his a$$.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks he's a badass and a mensch? I would be SUPER proud if my 16 year old did that.

No. I would think he was kinda being a meathead.

He's defending vulnerable people (the girls who are being made into middle-age p*rn fodder). While yes, I would worry like crazy if I had a brave kid like that, I would never try to convince him that MYOB is the moral and ethical way to go about things. My guess is that he could tell that the creepy schmuck wasn't going to put up a fight.

I'm sorry, I missed the part where the girls were naked on the train.

Also, why were these girls "vulnerable"? Because girls are always vulnerable? Guessing there are at least some girls out there who would have yelled, "WHY ARE YOU TAKING PICTURES OF US, YOU PERVERT?"

Girls do not have to be naked to feel uncomfortable. These girls are 15/16 years old; its quite inappropriate for a 50+ man taking their picture in the subway. Since it was so weird, they probably could not think of ways to stop it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks he's a badass and a mensch? I would be SUPER proud if my 16 year old did that.

No. I would think he was kinda being a meathead.

He's defending vulnerable people (the girls who are being made into middle-age p*rn fodder). While yes, I would worry like crazy if I had a brave kid like that, I would never try to convince him that MYOB is the moral and ethical way to go about things. My guess is that he could tell that the creepy schmuck wasn't going to put up a fight.

I'm sorry, I missed the part where the girls were naked on the train.

Also, why were these girls "vulnerable"? Because girls are always vulnerable? Guessing there are at least some girls out there who would have yelled, "WHY ARE YOU TAKING PICTURES OF US, YOU PERVERT?"

Girls do not have to be naked to feel uncomfortable. These girls are 15/16 years old; its quite inappropriate for a 50+ man taking their picture in the subway. Since it was so weird, they probably could not think of ways to stop it.

How do you know how old the man was?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks he's a badass and a mensch? I would be SUPER proud if my 16 year old did that.

No. I would think he was kinda being a meathead.

He's defending vulnerable people (the girls who are being made into middle-age p*rn fodder). While yes, I would worry like crazy if I had a brave kid like that, I would never try to convince him that MYOB is the moral and ethical way to go about things. My guess is that he could tell that the creepy schmuck wasn't going to put up a fight.

I'm sorry, I missed the part where the girls were naked on the train.

Also, why were these girls "vulnerable"? Because girls are always vulnerable? Guessing there are at least some girls out there who would have yelled, "WHY ARE YOU TAKING PICTURES OF US, YOU PERVERT?"

Girls do not have to be naked to feel uncomfortable. These girls are 15/16 years old; its quite inappropriate for a 50+ man taking their picture in the subway. Since it was so weird, they probably could not think of ways to stop it.

How do you know how old the man was?

DS told me the man must be above 50.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DS is 29 and took on a supervisor who was harassing women. I'm hugely proud of him, even though it cost him points with the bosses.

Not close to the same situation. Not at all.