Unfair monetary treatment between me and step-siblings?
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Anonymous
| Imagine how I feel reading your whining when I had to pay my mom’s mortgage 2 months this year. Count your damn blessings. |
Anonymous
| As per the above PP, I think you also need to consider the OP's mom's perspective. She sounds like she's reliant on her husband and has no business telling him NOT to pamper his daughters. Maybe because his daughters may badmouth her to their dad and that wouldn't be good for OP's mom. It's true that she doesn't have to rub it in OP's face that they do these things for stepsisters, but if they hide it from OP and OP finds out, that's even worse! It's like telling OP that she can't deal with the knowledge of her stepsister's privilege so she shouldn't know. At least everything is out in the open and OP can decide how to handle this. But I honestly think it's to do with unequal finances- the mom can't get nice stuff for OP but her DH can do all that and more for his own daughters. Even if OP's stepdad weren't married to OP's mom, his daughters would still be attending Broadway and getting Macbooks. It's only hurtful to the OP because she knows these people but it's a fact of life that someone will always have more than someone else. |
Anonymous
This isn't about presents. |
Anonymous
1) You didn't have to pay anything, and 2) Count your own- you were able to pay someone else's mortgage, and chose to. Congratulations. |
Anonymous
It’s about a shocking lack of perspective. |
Anonymous
|
It sucks. My mom married a man when she was in her 70s and immediately began lavishing gifts on his family while neglecting her own. We commented on it. It didn't do any good. Once he died they disappeared from her life entirely.
I would still ask her to avoid telling you about their big gifts. |
Anonymous
You’re right. Here the poster telling us we can’t ever complain about anything because someone has it worse! Your invalidating is annoying PP. And you didn’t have to pay a damn thing, you chose. |
Anonymous
No. It is about feeling like her mom has left her too and picked a new, "better" family after her dad died. |
Anonymous
In fairness, if the PP didn't help pay then her mom would probably be moving in with her. As someone who grew up with parents who were poor and still are, I know where she is coming from. I had to support myself and pay the bills from age 16. It would be nice to have parents who had some money sense but hey you play with the cards you're dealt. |
Anonymous
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OP, I think it’s the age thing. See what happens when your step-sisters become financially independent. It’s not fair to compare.
And I will say, as someone who has stepkids, you can’t please everyone, no matter how hard you try. You have your own family now, let this go. Why can’t you just love your mom and be happy she’s in your life? |
Anonymous
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If I married someone when I was in my fifties and had teenage kids, and my new spouse had kids in their twenties already out of the house, I would not see a need to treat them all equally.
If I was in my forties obsessing about what I got for Christmas, I would be ashamed of myself. |
Anonymous
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Op, how old are you?
I don’t think it’s odd he paid for his children and wife to take a trip to NYC. What’s odd, is wondering why you, your DH and your kids weren’t invited and paid for. If you’re 10+ older than these 22 year olds, you are expected to be established and able to pay for things yourself. |
Anonymous
What is a “non bio grandkid”? |
Anonymous
I know! She sounds horrid. They are grandkids. Period. |
Anonymous
| This happens in my family. The annoying thing is how it takes place against a ton of bullsh*t stuff like them saying "we're all one family, isn't it wonderful!!" ... while trying to pretend that we were all treated financially equally. As in, harping on that ONE time they bought me a plane ticket home in college as if that equals anything like they lavish on the younger kids. It's the gaslighting that's annoying. |