Wife went on a cooking strike

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went on a cooking strike years ago. My husband knows to call and ask what he should get for carry out if I'm hungry. Yes, you should help out a bit and pick up. I hate waking up on weekends and kids and husband have destroyed the house. Yes, I leave it and tell him to clean it up. I do his laundry but if he pissed me off I'd stop. He knows better. Hire her a housekeeper if you don't want to help.

What is the point of the housekeeper if she is literally staying at home all day? It's part of her job to keep a tidy house and prepare meals. Is their child being denied nutrition as well?

Do you do your job 24x7 or do you do it from 8-5 with clearly defined hours after which you leave and go home? Your wife deserves a break too. Staying home isn't that easy and it's not for everyone. Maybe your wife would be happier working part time so she's not cooped up in the house cleaning all day, every day? That would drive anyone insane, especially if the people making the messes aren't helping to clean them.

If she would happier she's free to get a part-time job. No one is forcing her to stay home. But if she wants to stay home as her contribution to the 'partnership' then she needs to cook, clean, and watch the kid.

To the person above who asked about a 9 - 5, its more like 7 - 6 with the commute time but yes I'm expected to put in a 40+ hour work week. I'd expect the same of a spouse who is at home regardless of if the child is napping or at part-time daycare or playing with toys. Anything that falls in that household parameter should be done.

No, that's not how it works.

It actually is. Somewhere along the line, stay-at-home moms have placed too much emphasis on intensive motherin and neglected the “homemaker” duties inherent in that role. But part of the job description is to cook and clean.

Op didn't say his wife stopped everything. So she is still cleaning and taking care of the kids. DH lives in the home too and can help out more than he does which sounds like zero right now! I think wife is looking for respect and she isn't getting any from Op. Why doesn't op help out? Just because she is at home doesn't mean her job is never ending ( which is house work btw) he lives there too and should help out.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you need your mommy, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: My wife knew I wasn't going to do housework when she married me.

This was a condition of your marriage? Interesting. People ple choose the strangest hills to die on.

Perfectly said.
Don’t be a stubborn ass.... unless seeing your son only on weekends while paying child support & alimony is something you enjoy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you need your mommy, OP.

Even your Mom would have expected you to do chores and pickup after yourself, OP. Just because your wife is a SAHM doesn’t mean she does EVERYTHING while raising your child while you do nothing at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your wife is lazy and entitled. I've been a SAHM for well over 20 years. Part of my "job" is to manage our home. How is it fair to expect my DH to work a full time, demanding job AND cook and clean? He is wonderful and helps out a lot. But I would never expect him to work 10 hours and come home to cook and clean. What the hell would I be doing all day?

She either needs to step up, or go back to work. When both partners work, splitting household tasks is expected. When one partner is home all day, they do the majority of the work. And yes, I know it's not always easy. I have five kids. But you know what else isn't easy? Working full time outside the and having kids.

1950 called, they want their mantra back.

[Anonymous]

Your wife is putting you on notice OP. My DH had an expectation for me to work full time, take care of the house and the kids. I do all the grocery shopping (to maintain a budget), prep some meals, pay all the bills on time (I love
my credit score too much) and I clean because I don’t want to live like a pig. Here is what I don’t do...my husband’s laundry, clean his office, and clean his closet/sink. When my husband does not have socks or t-shirt to wear, that is not my problem. I make it very clear to him that I am not his personal maid. If he leaves his dishes on the kitchen counter for me to clean up. I tell him “Is there a reason these dishes left for me to clean up? Do I look like a f-ing maid to you?” If the dishes stay on the counter for more than a day, I drop them on the floor in front of him. If they break, it is not my problem and he can clean them up. I also stopped having sex with my DH, because he acts like an entitled ass most of the time. He can go and j**k off somewhere. I don’t give a damn. If I would be you, I would start being very nice to your wife and do your part/pitch in. My DH is getting there, but I had to resort to an irregular warfare. Happy wife, happy life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went on a cooking strike years ago. My husband knows to call and ask what he should get for carry out if I'm hungry. Yes, you should help out a bit and pick up. I hate waking up on weekends and kids and husband have destroyed the house. Yes, I leave it and tell him to clean it up. I do his laundry but if he pissed me off I'd stop. He knows better. Hire her a housekeeper if you don't want to help.

What is the point of the housekeeper if she is literally staying at home all day? It's part of her job to keep a tidy house and prepare meals. Is their child being denied nutrition as well?

Do you do your job 24x7 or do you do it from 8-5 with clearly defined hours after which you leave and go home? Your wife deserves a break too. Staying home isn't that easy and it's not for everyone. Maybe your wife would be happier working part time so she's not cooped up in the house cleaning all day, every day? That would drive anyone insane, especially if the people making the messes aren't helping to clean them.

If she would happier she's free to get a part-time job. No one is forcing her to stay home. But if she wants to stay home as her contribution to the 'partnership' then she needs to cook, clean, and watch the kid.

To the person above who asked about a 9 - 5, its more like 7 - 6 with the commute time but yes I'm expected to put in a 40+ hour work week. I'd expect the same of a spouse who is at home regardless of if the child is napping or at part-time daycare or playing with toys. Anything that falls in that household parameter should be done.

This is obviously written by a man. Notice how he wrote she free to work PART TIME. What's the point of working part time when her husband doesn't do sh**?

Absolutely. I stayed home for almost a year. I took my ass right back to work outside the home. All of a sudden, my then spouse thought that my job was 24/7. It literally never stopped. Meanwhile, he got home from work and propped his feet up. I was constantly moving from 6 am to midnight. The expectations are different. When you work outside the home, there is not as much complaining about things being all over. When you stay at home, the expectation is the house is spotless at all times.

[Anonymous]

haha next will be a cleaning strike followed by a sex strike.

[Anonymous]

an old saying..."it doesn't get done thinking about it" If you lived alone how would it get done? You being lazy would hire a cleaning service I am sure. Do the same for your house. Another old one--"your mother doesn't work here" grow the hell up! yes i am male.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: My wife knew I wasn't going to do housework when she married me.

This was a condition of your marriage? Interesting. People ple choose the strangest hills to die on.

Perfectly said.
Don’t be a stubborn ass.... unless seeing your son only on weekends while paying child support & alimony is something you enjoy?

You know what? Your wife had no idea how much more work a child was going to be. Now you have one, and everyone has to change a little. If you literally never want to lift a finger at home, then hire someone for your "portion," however tiny that is.

[Anonymous]

You are destroying your relationship and ultimately your marriage. You are treating your wife like paid help, not as a life partner. You believe she is your servant, and she correctly resents this. The issue is not doing a chore - rather it’s a pattern of her being “lesser than”, treated as the one who has to do al the housework/childcare/life maintenance issues as you come and go and expect to be treated like a king. You need to stop it unless you don’t mind paying for a divorce and alimony and child support the rest of your life - and still having nobody to be your cook and house cleaner. You should be doing some life support chores in your home, in your life - that’s a reasonable expectation of any adult. You should treat your wife as a life partner, not as your mother or hired help.

[Anonymous]

Color me out of touch and old fashioned, but I think your wife should absolutely be doing those things.

I’m divorced now, but I had a really raw deal in my marriage. We both worked full time, but I did 100% of the housework and most of the child rearing— 4 kids. My husband was relatively easy to leave, because I wasnt reaping a benifit by being with him.

I’d be happy to have you as a husband. Too easy

[Anonymous]

OP, give me her number. I don't cook much either. We can take the kids out to eat together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Color me out of touch and old fashioned, but I think your wife should absolutely be doing those things.

I’m divorced now, but I had a really raw deal in my marriage. We both worked full time, but I did 100% of the housework and most of the child rearing— 4 kids. My husband was relatively easy to leave, because I wasnt reaping a benifit by being with him.

I’d be happy to have you as a husband. Too easy

You should have given him the kids in the divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your wife is putting you on notice OP. My DH had an expectation for me to work full time, take care of the house and the kids. I do all the grocery shopping (to maintain a budget), prep some meals, pay all the bills on time (I love
my credit score too much) and I clean because I don’t want to live like a pig. Here is what I don’t do...my husband’s laundry, clean his office, and clean his closet/sink. When my husband does not have socks or t-shirt to wear, that is not my problem. I make it very clear to him that I am not his personal maid. If he leaves his dishes on the kitchen counter for me to clean up. I tell him “Is there a reason these dishes left for me to clean up? Do I look like a f-ing maid to you?” If the dishes stay on the counter for more than a day, I drop them on the floor in front of him. If they break, it is not my problem and he can clean them up. I also stopped having sex with my DH, because he acts like an entitled ass most of the time. He can go and j**k off somewhere. I don’t give a damn. If I would be you, I would start being very nice to your wife and do your part/pitch in. My DH is getting there, but I had to resort to an irregular warfare. Happy wife, happy life.

You sound horrible. Are you mentally stable or do you have issues?