Wife went on a cooking strike

[Anonymous]

This is why you always have this conversation before getting married. And again before you have kids, to make sure nothing has changed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is typical spoil entitled SAHM feminist stuff. They have no idea how the real world works. Tell the princess she has to get a job. All these feminists talk big as long as they do not have actually go into the work place and earn their keep. What a lazy woman.

Maybe the DH has no idea how the real world works in the home because he's always had someone doing all the dirty work for him. What makes you think the DW has never worked outside the home? Most mothers now a days have done it all - worked out of the home FT and be a FT mom at home. I think most moms know what the real world is like. Do most dads know what it's like to be a sahp 24/7, 365 day/ year?

And many women will tell OP, it’s a lot easier working outside the home and being in the company of other adults than being at home, 24/7, with young children, cooking, cleaning, etc. it’s called drudgery and never ending for a reason.

PP here.. totally agree. When we moved to a lower col area so one of us could stay home, I gave my DH the option to be that sahp and I'd be the sole breadwinner. We made about the same. He declined. It is drudgery work and thankless to boot. Dealing with kids is so very frustrating. They cannot easily be reasoned with, unlike most adults at work. You can't get a bathroom, lunch break from the kids like you can at work. Some moms I know returned to work to take a break from taking care of the kids. Working, they said, was a lot easier than being at home. And I totally agree.

Work with a bunch of h1bs and you will change your mind. I would take care of kids in an instant if I could .

Ha.. both DH and I work in IT, and DH came on an H1B, so no, I wouldn't change my mind, and neither would DH.

Are you fat ? Why? Desperate?

OP here. Jeez I haven't read through all of responses but I used to be on an H1B as well. We live in a condo so there's no maintenance required.

I have no clue what that ^^PP meant by that statement. Fat? No. Desperate? As in "I must be desperate to have married an H1B immigrant?" No again. He's a catch. When I met him he was in the process of getting a green card, had a gorgeous apartment in a desirable area, cooks, had a cleaning lady, well traveled, made more money than I did (and I was making six figures). When the kids came, he changed their diapers, and cooked their baby food from scratch. He fixes things around the house, and now that the kids are older, is very involved in their activities, more so than some of the real "American" dads I see. And he even did this when I was a sahm. He gets that just because he has a partner who stays at home, it doesn't mean he stops being a dad, husband, partner.

This is what perhaps OP and some of you men don't get. DWs want a partner, not a child or master to serve. When the wohp comes home from work, you think you get to sit down and relax because you've been working all day, and then expect the sahp to continue working to serve you even though that sahp probably has also been working all day, just different kind of work. When does the sahp get to take a break? Maybe that sahp can leave her workplace -- the home -- and go to a coffee shop to take a break when you get home. You expect the sahp to work 24/7 while you get to take a break? It's no wonder so many women don't want to get married or have kids now a days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is typical spoil entitled SAHM feminist stuff. They have no idea how the real world works. Tell the princess she has to get a job. All these feminists talk big as long as they do not have actually go into the work place and earn their keep. What a lazy woman.

Maybe the DH has no idea how the real world works in the home because he's always had someone doing all the dirty work for him. What makes you think the DW has never worked outside the home? Most mothers now a days have done it all - worked out of the home FT and be a FT mom at home. I think most moms know what the real world is like. Do most dads know what it's like to be a sahp 24/7, 365 day/ year?

And many women will tell OP, it’s a lot easier working outside the home and being in the company of other adults than being at home, 24/7, with young children, cooking, cleaning, etc. it’s called drudgery and never ending for a reason.

PP here.. totally agree. When we moved to a lower col area so one of us could stay home, I gave my DH the option to be that sahp and I'd be the sole breadwinner. We made about the same. He declined. It is drudgery work and thankless to boot. Dealing with kids is so very frustrating. They cannot easily be reasoned with, unlike most adults at work. You can't get a bathroom, lunch break from the kids like you can at work. Some moms I know returned to work to take a break from taking care of the kids. Working, they said, was a lot easier than being at home. And I totally agree.

Work with a bunch of h1bs and you will change your mind. I would take care of kids in an instant if I could .

Ha.. both DH and I work in IT, and DH came on an H1B, so no, I wouldn't change my mind, and neither would DH.

Are you fat ? Why? Desperate?

OP here. Jeez I haven't read through all of responses but I used to be on an H1B as well. We live in a condo so there's no maintenance required.

Are you Indian?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your wife is putting you on notice OP. My DH had an expectation for me to work full time, take care of the house and the kids. I do all the grocery shopping (to maintain a budget), prep some meals, pay all the bills on time (I love
my credit score too much) and I clean because I don’t want to live like a pig. Here is what I don’t do...my husband’s laundry, clean his office, and clean his closet/sink. When my husband does not have socks or t-shirt to wear, that is not my problem. I make it very clear to him that I am not his personal maid. If he leaves his dishes on the kitchen counter for me to clean up. I tell him “Is there a reason these dishes left for me to clean up? Do I look like a f-ing maid to you?” If the dishes stay on the counter for more than a day, I drop them on the floor in front of him. If they break, it is not my problem and he can clean them up. I also stopped having sex with my DH, because he acts like an entitled ass most of the time. He can go and j**k off somewhere. I don’t give a damn. If I would be you, I would start being very nice to your wife and do your part/pitch in. My DH is getting there, but I had to resort to an irregular warfare. Happy wife, happy life.

You sound horrible. Are you mentally stable or do you have issues?

Sounds like her issue is that her DH was a man/child who expected a mommy to do all his chores for him even though she also works full time.

I can't imagine NOT going my husband's laundry. How does it work ? You throw his laundry in a separate pile while doing yours? When he does projects around the house, does he slpit them in half as well?

Doubt OP does “projects around the house”. He just goes to work and does nothing at home. If he did stuff around the house, his wife wouldn’t be on strike.

My teenagers do their own laundry as does their dad. Grow ups should be able to do laundry on their own.

Unless he's cleaning the gutters three times a day and shopping for gutter cleaning products once a week, it's not really the equivalent of daily cooking, cleaning, etc. Do you change doorknobs once a week like someone does laundry once a week? hahahahah.

Pretty sure the wife isn't offering to go out and mow the lawn, clean out the gutters, remove the wasps nest, change that janky doorknob etc

So no - when he does project around the house, she isn't helping.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your wife is putting you on notice OP. My DH had an expectation for me to work full time, take care of the house and the kids. I do all the grocery shopping (to maintain a budget), prep some meals, pay all the bills on time (I love
my credit score too much) and I clean because I don’t want to live like a pig. Here is what I don’t do...my husband’s laundry, clean his office, and clean his closet/sink. When my husband does not have socks or t-shirt to wear, that is not my problem. I make it very clear to him that I am not his personal maid. If he leaves his dishes on the kitchen counter for me to clean up. I tell him “Is there a reason these dishes left for me to clean up? Do I look like a f-ing maid to you?” If the dishes stay on the counter for more than a day, I drop them on the floor in front of him. If they break, it is not my problem and he can clean them up. I also stopped having sex with my DH, because he acts like an entitled ass most of the time. He can go and j**k off somewhere. I don’t give a damn. If I would be you, I would start being very nice to your wife and do your part/pitch in. My DH is getting there, but I had to resort to an irregular warfare. Happy wife, happy life.

You sound horrible. Are you mentally stable or do you have issues?

Sounds like her issue is that her DH was a man/child who expected a mommy to do all his chores for him even though she also works full time.

I can't imagine NOT going my husband's laundry. How does it work ? You throw his laundry in a separate pile while doing yours? When he does projects around the house, does he slpit them in half as well?

Doubt OP does “projects around the house”. He just goes to work and does nothing at home. If he did stuff around the house, his wife wouldn’t be on strike.

My teenagers do their own laundry as does their dad. Grow ups should be able to do laundry on their own.

Unless he's cleaning the gutters three times a day and shopping for gutter cleaning products once a week, it's not really the equivalent of daily cooking, cleaning, etc. Do you change doorknobs once a week like someone does laundry once a week? hahahahah.

Pretty sure the wife isn't offering to go out and mow the lawn, clean out the gutters, remove the wasps nest, change that janky doorknob etc

So no - when he does project around the house, she isn't helping.[/quote]

Show me where op said he did any of these jobs, pp? He said he lived in a condo so I am assuming there is no lawn mowing for one

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife is a SAHM. She stopped cooking this week. She keeps the house clean but does not do my laundry. The last two weekends she has taken my son away the entire day to some play place. We had a fight a few weeks ago about housework. My wife thinks I should help out more around the house. She wants me to clean the bathroom and do the dishes more. She complains that I do not clean up our sons toys. My wife knew I wasn't going to do housework when she married me. We have been married for 6 years and suddenly she expects help with housework.

WTF.

how did you paper that up? who wants to marry a pig who has no pride in their home or family enough to do housework. you deserve to live in a shitshack or you can piss away your after-tax income on housekeepers, drivers and nannies in order to be prima donna.

That's nonsense. If he wasn't married, there wouldn't be a need for a larger house or a nanny. And there also wouldn't be a need to have his money going to two other people. Totally different setup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is not saying he does not help. He is saying DW wants him to do more chores which can be difficult on a daily basis if he comes home tired from working an entire day.

He is tired from working for an entire day, while she is obviously fresh as a daisy from a day spent running around after a toddler, cleaning and straightening the house, cooking, etc, with no mental or physical time for herself. No doubt she is also the one who gets up with the kid at night and early every morning. Got it.

That's crap. They live in an apartment. How much work could it be to clean and straighten up a two-bedroom place? Cooking? What cooking? The husband isn't there. Breakfast takes ten minutes. Lunch is not a factor. Dinner is easy, take out chicken in the morning, throw it in to roast an hour before dinner. Make rice and a green veg while the chicken roasts. God you people make it sound like it's gallows labor. How do you know the child is a toddler? And if he IS a toddler, he has a nice long nap mid-day. Truth is, the wife has a very easy, if lonely, setup. And in any case, the child will go to preschool soon and then it's elementary time. Enough with the martyr act already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is not saying he does not help. He is saying DW wants him to do more chores which can be difficult on a daily basis if he comes home tired from working an entire day.

He is tired from working for an entire day, while she is obviously fresh as a daisy from a day spent running around after a toddler, cleaning and straightening the house, cooking, etc, with no mental or physical time for herself. No doubt she is also the one who gets up with the kid at night and early every morning. Got it.

She can take a nap during the day.

How is she supposed to nap when the house needs cleaning and the food needs cooking? If she is truly doing this stuff, then she has a full-time job or more. In which case they have both worked a full day when DH gets home and he can get off his ass and do his part.

It's threads like these that make me thankful that my husband and I work jobs with similar hours and similar earnings and then also split everything roughly 50-50 at home. We each took extended maternity/paternity leaves with both kids and agreed that staying home is hard from a mental perspective. Too easy for the stay at home parent to be on 24/7 while the working parent gets a break.

Neither the cooking nor the cleaning happen nonstop, especially not in an apartment where the husband is away for most of the day. What does she have to cook beyond dinner, which takes barely an hour?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP should have married someone from his home country. Or is your foreign born wife become sick of you doing nothing around the house? That would mean you really do nothing at home other than breathe.

Usually in countries where the guy does nothing at home, they still live with their extended family and his mom helps around the house with cooking and child care. In the USA, with only a SAHM, this situation where the husband does not do anything at home is untenable.

Get some paid help or get your mother to live with you, OP.

No foreign born MIL would think a wife who stays home in an apartment with only one child needs help.

[Anonymous]

What did your mom say, OP? Did she make you dinner and iron your work shirts?

[Anonymous]

The OP is trolling all of you. Please, for the love of God, stop posting on this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, I suggest you give your wife a weekend away and take your kids for an entire weekend, Friday night to Sunday night. During that time plan and shop for a week’s worth of meals, cook all their meals, do the dishes, do 2 loads of laundry including folding and putting it away, fill out some camp forms and in between all of that—take your kids to the park and the pool. Come back and let us know what you think about your wife’s complaints then.

Make up your mind already, the wife either has one toddler or two camp-age children. Which is it?

[Anonymous]

I don't know any man who cleans toys. Just sayin'.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went on a cooking strike years ago. My husband knows to call and ask what he should get for carry out if I'm hungry. Yes, you should help out a bit and pick up. I hate waking up on weekends and kids and husband have destroyed the house. Yes, I leave it and tell him to clean it up. I do his laundry but if he pissed me off I'd stop. He knows better. Hire her a housekeeper if you don't want to help.

What is the point of the housekeeper if she is literally staying at home all day? It's part of her job to keep a tidy house and prepare meals. Is their child being denied nutrition as well?

Do you do your job 24x7 or do you do it from 8-5 with clearly defined hours after which you leave and go home? Your wife deserves a break too. Staying home isn't that easy and it's not for everyone. Maybe your wife would be happier working part time so she's not cooped up in the house cleaning all day, every day? That would drive anyone insane, especially if the people making the messes aren't helping to clean them.

If she would happier she's free to get a part-time job. No one is forcing her to stay home. But if she wants to stay home as her contribution to the 'partnership' then she needs to cook, clean, and watch the kid.

To the person above who asked about a 9 - 5, its more like 7 - 6 with the commute time but yes I'm expected to put in a 40+ hour work week. I'd expect the same of a spouse who is at home regardless of if the child is napping or at part-time daycare or playing with toys. Anything that falls in that household parameter should be done.

You clean the bathrooms at your work?

[Anonymous]

“Honey, you’re right. I should listen to you more. Please make dinner again. I will wash the dishes.”

Marriage is about letting her think she has the upper hand, which she does.