Wife went on a cooking strike

[Anonymous]

Hire a house cleaner and go out to eat every once in a while. Most SAH parents are there for their children not for the housework (hint the "M" in sahm is for Mom not maid). I have always been an indifferent housekeeper at best. Becoming a sahp did not magically turn me into a great housekeeper. Having to do anything 24/7 is draining.

And it wouldn't hurt to pick up a dish or two and put them in the dishwasher. sheesh. She is not your personal maid.

[Anonymous]

Lazy bit$h!! Tell her to bring home $ then you will help out with house work. She watches TV all day with kids?

[Anonymous]

I have WOH, SAH, and Worked from home. All are hard in their own ways.

When I was a SAHM the bulk of my time involved taking my children to nature centers, library story times, free kids music concerts, playgrounds, play dates, swim classes. I wanted to give them a well-rounded experience of music, book, physical activity and socialization. I also did the bulk of shopping, cooking, food prep but when my husband was home he helped! If your wife prioritized cleaning over caring for your child, your house would be spic and span, but your child wouldn’t have a lot of experiences or educational opportunities. You sound like an arse.

[Anonymous]

I’m a sahm mostly to look after the kids. I do most of the housework and all of the cooking. My husband helps with housework and if I don’t feel like cooking, we order in or eat out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hire a house cleaner and go out to eat every once in a while. Most SAH parents are there for their children not for the housework (hint the "M" in sahm is for Mom not maid). I have always been an indifferent housekeeper at best. Becoming a sahp did not magically turn me into a great housekeeper. Having to do anything 24/7 is draining.

And it wouldn't hurt to pick up a dish or two and put them in the dishwasher. sheesh. She is not your personal maid.

+1

[Anonymous]

This is an obvious troll, please stop feeding him.

[Anonymous]

You deserve each other.

[Anonymous]

Grow up, OP. You are an adult and fully capable of helping at home. If you aren’t willing to help then get takeout or send your clothes to the cleaner.

[Anonymous]

Consider yourself lucky OP: I moved out under similar circumstances. The money you are saving on support can surely pay for some takeout or a maid.

[Anonymous]

I’m a SAHM. My DH is a biglaw partner who works 80+ hours a week (for which is he is compensated well). Guess what? He helps out with household chores when he is home. He doesn’t think I am his maid, and he values both of us having downtime as well as nurturing relationships with our kids.

It’s not that hard to be partners with your spouse in the endeavors of parenting and running a home. All it takes is a little effort and recognizing that no one should be on 24-7, which seems to be your expectation.

Also, our kids are getting old enough to absorb that everyone pitches in in a family. We all have chores - even the you Betsy.

[Anonymous]

^^^ youngest.

Stupid iPhone. Her name’s not even Betsy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went on a cooking strike years ago. My husband knows to call and ask what he should get for carry out if I'm hungry. Yes, you should help out a bit and pick up. I hate waking up on weekends and kids and husband have destroyed the house. Yes, I leave it and tell him to clean it up. I do his laundry but if he pissed me off I'd stop. He knows better. Hire her a housekeeper if you don't want to help.

What is the point of the housekeeper if she is literally staying at home all day? It's part of her job to keep a tidy house and prepare meals. Is their child being denied nutrition as well?

Do you do your job 24x7 or do you do it from 8-5 with clearly defined hours after which you leave and go home? Your wife deserves a break too. Staying home isn't that easy and it's not for everyone. Maybe your wife would be happier working part time so she's not cooped up in the house cleaning all day, every day? That would drive anyone insane, especially if the people making the messes aren't helping to clean them.

If she would happier she's free to get a part-time job. No one is forcing her to stay home. But if she wants to stay home as her contribution to the 'partnership' then she needs to cook, clean, and watch the kid.

To the person above who asked about a 9 - 5, its more like 7 - 6 with the commute time but yes I'm expected to put in a 40+ hour work week. I'd expect the same of a spouse who is at home regardless of if the child is napping or at part-time daycare or playing with toys. Anything that falls in that household parameter should be done.

So why do you think her work week should be unlimited while yours has defined hours?

[Anonymous]

Is she hott? Hadn’t been asked yet so I thought I would throw it out there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife is a SAHM. She stopped cooking this week. She keeps the house clean but does not do my laundry. The last two weekends she has taken my son away the entire day to some play place. We had a fight a few weeks ago about housework. My wife thinks I should help out more around the house. She wants me to clean the bathroom and do the dishes more. She complains that I do not clean up our sons toys. My wife knew I wasn't going to do housework when she married me. We have been married for 6 years and suddenly she expects help with housework.

This is a woman that will stop having sex and claim menopause

Get out while you can

She is bad bad news. She has sisters on DCUM that are all
Looking for a sugar daddy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went on a cooking strike years ago. My husband knows to call and ask what he should get for carry out if I'm hungry. Yes, you should help out a bit and pick up. I hate waking up on weekends and kids and husband have destroyed the house. Yes, I leave it and tell him to clean it up. I do his laundry but if he pissed me off I'd stop. He knows better. Hire her a housekeeper if you don't want to help.

What is the point of the housekeeper if she is literally staying at home all day? It's part of her job to keep a tidy house and prepare meals. Is their child being denied nutrition as well?

Do you do your job 24x7 or do you do it from 8-5 with clearly defined hours after which you leave and go home? Your wife deserves a break too. Staying home isn't that easy and it's not for everyone. Maybe your wife would be happier working part time so she's not cooped up in the house cleaning all day, every day? That would drive anyone insane, especially if the people making the messes aren't helping to clean them.

If she would happier she's free to get a part-time job. No one is forcing her to stay home. But if she wants to stay home as her contribution to the 'partnership' then she needs to cook, clean, and watch the kid.

To the person above who asked about a 9 - 5, its more like 7 - 6 with the commute time but yes I'm expected to put in a 40+ hour work week. I'd expect the same of a spouse who is at home regardless of if the child is napping or at part-time daycare or playing with toys. Anything that falls in that household parameter should be done.

I agree with this with one caveat- I think you should get a cleaner for every other week deep clean. It is a lot of work to stay on top of everything all the time. Having someone come to scrub floors helps a lot.

Op - you are going to figure out your compromise. Drawing a line in the sand isn’t how marriages are run.