ILs sleeping in master while staying to watch kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's kind of weird, but you'd be using different linens and everything and you could take the pillows out of the guest room and put them in the master for their stay. Agree with the PP who said you could stash any embarrassing stuff out of the way prior to their arrival.

But who wants to return from a vacation or hospital stay and then immediately have to wash all their sheets in their master bedroom and see someone else's toothpaste stains in their master sinks? Blech.

OP only has one set of sheets? I'm sure ILs can strip the bed for her and replace the linens. Even if OP had to do it herself, she could simply throw the dirty stuff in the laundry area or hamper. It would wait for tomorrow.

My family members are capable of brushing their teeth without leaving gobs of toothpaste around. Even if they couldn't, I'm not in the habit of licking my sink. I wouldn't find toothpaste drippings so terribly offensive that I couldn't spend 30 seconds wiping the sink with a Lysol wipe.

I guess I'm in this situation and I still don't want inlaws in my bed. My inlaws are desperate to come into town while I'm in labor in the hospital and they want to stay in my bed. I'd rather my friends watch my older kid for me and my friends would stay in my guest room. Just because inlaws are watching kids doesn't mean it's some "big favor." I'd rather hire someone. My friends can't watch my DD if my inlaws are staying at my house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Super weird to even consider putting them in the master.

Why don’t you calculate the cost of 24/7 care for 2 kids for a week and see if you want to complain about boundaries. The master is more comfortable. Let the elderly people doing you a huge favor be comfortable.

Pretty sure you're the only one - or one of a VERY few - who thinks that way. Jeff can determine sock puppeting but for OP's debate purposes, most people think it's weird.

Ha no. That was my first post on this thread. But whatever gets you through the day so that you can rationalize that your views are the same as "most people."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is so weird to me. I would, of course, let my in-laws use the master suite if they'd be more comfortable while watching our children for free! I can't fathom how DCUM is perfectly happy to take, take, take free child care but goes crazy at the thought of family members laying their heads on their precious pillows.

(Obviously there is SOMETHING about the guest bedroom that is not great if the IL's are asking to switch up.)

+1 My sister is convinced her guest bedroom is wonderful and doesn't understand why we choose to stay with my parents instead even though it's more cramped over there. The mattress in my sister's guest bedroom is the most ungodly uncomfortable mattress I've ever slept on. Sister has back problems and she likes sleeping on a mattress harder than concrete so to her it's super comfortable. To me? Not so much.

OP, why don't you figure out why your ILs don't think your guest room is comfortable?

[Anonymous]

So because ILs are providing free child care they should get to do whatever they want? Should they be allowed to go through the drawers too? Maybe rearrange furniture? I mean, they’re doing you a favor! Just be grateful!

Isn’t this the same board that says if you do a favor for someone you shouldn’t expect payback because then it’s not really a favor? I don’t know, maybe the ILs don’t really want to babysit and are doing it under duress, but I doubt it. I suspect they’re jumping at the chance to be there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So because ILs are providing free child care they should get to do whatever they want? Should they be allowed to go through the drawers too? Maybe rearrange furniture? I mean, they’re doing you a favor! Just be grateful!

Isn’t this the same board that says if you do a favor for someone you shouldn’t expect payback because then it’s not really a favor? I don’t know, maybe the ILs don’t really want to babysit and are doing it under duress, but I doubt it. I suspect they’re jumping at the chance to be there.

Are you two years old? There is a difference between making your guests who are helping you out in a huge way comfortable and the behavior you describe. The are coming to help. Hopefully they are thrilled to do it, but it doesn’t change the fab fact that they are giving OP a multi day getaway. So, if the master bedroom has the big comfy bed and tv that they desire, why on earth would you begrudge them those comforts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So because ILs are providing free child care they should get to do whatever they want? Should they be allowed to go through the drawers too? Maybe rearrange furniture? I mean, they’re doing you a favor! Just be grateful!

Isn’t this the same board that says if you do a favor for someone you shouldn’t expect payback because then it’s not really a favor? I don’t know, maybe the ILs don’t really want to babysit and are doing it under duress, but I doubt it. I suspect they’re jumping at the chance to be there.

See, this doesn't make sense to me. OP is trusting her in-laws with her home and her children. And yet doesn't trust them to be respectful in the master suite? Unless you are locking everything down from YOUR PARENTS, they could snoop through your drawers any time.

SMDH at people who have no problem leaving their children with someone who they don't trust.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So because ILs are providing free child care they should get to do whatever they want? Should they be allowed to go through the drawers too? Maybe rearrange furniture? I mean, they’re doing you a favor! Just be grateful!

Isn’t this the same board that says if you do a favor for someone you shouldn’t expect payback because then it’s not really a favor? I don’t know, maybe the ILs don’t really want to babysit and are doing it under duress, but I doubt it. I suspect they’re jumping at the chance to be there.

See, this doesn't make sense to me. OP is trusting her in-laws with her home and her children. And yet doesn't trust them to be respectful in the master suite? Unless you are locking everything down from YOUR PARENTS, they could snoop through your drawers any time.

SMDH at people who have no problem leaving their children with someone who they don't trust.

+1

[Anonymous]

Our guest room is in our basement so when my parents or ILs babysit overnight at least one adult normally sleeps in the master. I don't love it but it makes sense for now. DD is currently 6. I think it a couple years it probably won't be as important to have an adult on the same floor as her bedroom.

[Anonymous]

I would never let my in laws sleep in my bedroom! That’s just weird!!! My mil would probably go through my drawers honestly. She use to open my mail... no no no!!! Is the spouse that wants this are these their parents? I just thinks it’s weird either way. Now if I didn’t have a guest room then yeah I can see why people would do that. But gross!

[Anonymous]

My ILs have offered to fly out and watch the kids while we travel but I have never taken them up on it. We don’t have a guest room so they would have to sleep in our room. My MIL is very nosy and would go through our things so I don’t like having people here when we aren’t home.
Since you and your spouse disagree, I would have them stay in the guest room. I wouldn’t be surprised if they used the master though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So because ILs are providing free child care they should get to do whatever they want? Should they be allowed to go through the drawers too? Maybe rearrange furniture? I mean, they’re doing you a favor! Just be grateful!

Isn’t this the same board that says if you do a favor for someone you shouldn’t expect payback because then it’s not really a favor? I don’t know, maybe the ILs don’t really want to babysit and are doing it under duress, but I doubt it. I suspect they’re jumping at the chance to be there.

Are you two years old? There is a difference between making your guests who are helping you out in a huge way comfortable and the behavior you describe. The are coming to help. Hopefully they are thrilled to do it, but it doesn’t change the fab fact that they are giving OP a multi day getaway. So, if the master bedroom has the big comfy bed and tv that they desire, why on earth would you begrudge them those comforts?

Are you an idiot? There is a perfectly COMFORABLE guest room and bathroom for them to use. It’s weird that given a perfectly fine option, with privacy and bathroom, that the ILs are insisting on the master, especially since it makes one of the spouses who sleeps in that bed regularly uncomfortable. It’s that person’s private space, and they are entitled to wanting it private, even if you disagree. It would be different if the master was the only option, but it’s not. And again, them doing her a favor doesn’t equal them getting to do something that makes her or her DH uncomfortable just because it’s what they want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would never let my in laws sleep in my bedroom! That’s just weird!!! My mil would probably go through my drawers honestly. She use to open my mail... no no no!!! Is the spouse that wants this are these their parents? I just thinks it’s weird either way. Now if I didn’t have a guest room then yeah I can see why people would do that. But gross!

Why is it gross? Do you never sleep in any other bed? Do you feel revolted and grossed out when you have to sleep in someone's guest room? Do you think they have purchased a brand new bed for you that they will throw away after you leave? What do you think your parents are going to do in your bed that can't be remedied with a clean mattress pad and sheets?

I assume if your MIL opens your mail then you don't allow her to babysit, either, and I don't blame you.

[Anonymous]

I can’t imagine having someone I trust enough to leave my kids with but don’t trust with my bedroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So because ILs are providing free child care they should get to do whatever they want? Should they be allowed to go through the drawers too? Maybe rearrange furniture? I mean, they’re doing you a favor! Just be grateful!

Isn’t this the same board that says if you do a favor for someone you shouldn’t expect payback because then it’s not really a favor? I don’t know, maybe the ILs don’t really want to babysit and are doing it under duress, but I doubt it. I suspect they’re jumping at the chance to be there.

Are you two years old? There is a difference between making your guests who are helping you out in a huge way comfortable and the behavior you describe. The are coming to help. Hopefully they are thrilled to do it, but it doesn’t change the fab fact that they are giving OP a multi day getaway. So, if the master bedroom has the big comfy bed and tv that they desire, why on earth would you begrudge them those comforts?

Are you an idiot? There is a perfectly COMFORABLE guest room and bathroom for them to use. It’s weird that given a perfectly fine option, with privacy and bathroom, that the ILs are insisting on the master, especially since it makes one of the spouses who sleeps in that bed regularly uncomfortable. It’s that person’s private space, and they are entitled to wanting it private, even if you disagree. It would be different if the master was the only option, but it’s not. And again, them doing her a favor doesn’t equal them getting to do something that makes her or her DH uncomfortable just because it’s what they want.

The guest room is obviously not perfectly comfortable. And the spouse who feels icky for no good reason should just take a deep breath and focus on how grateful they are to have generous and trustworthy grandparents who give them the priceless gift of time alone.

Wanting to have your special private space so you can feel comfy while your parents sleep in a crappy bed or watch the old grainy TV is just unbelievably selfish. I guess making people feel comfortable when they are helping out with your children is not important to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So because ILs are providing free child care they should get to do whatever they want? Should they be allowed to go through the drawers too? Maybe rearrange furniture? I mean, they’re doing you a favor! Just be grateful!

Isn’t this the same board that says if you do a favor for someone you shouldn’t expect payback because then it’s not really a favor? I don’t know, maybe the ILs don’t really want to babysit and are doing it under duress, but I doubt it. I suspect they’re jumping at the chance to be there.

Are you two years old? There is a difference between making your guests who are helping you out in a huge way comfortable and the behavior you describe. The are coming to help. Hopefully they are thrilled to do it, but it doesn’t change the fab fact that they are giving OP a multi day getaway. So, if the master bedroom has the big comfy bed and tv that they desire, why on earth would you begrudge them those comforts?

Are you an idiot? There is a perfectly COMFORABLE guest room and bathroom for them to use. It’s weird that given a perfectly fine option, with privacy and bathroom, that the ILs are insisting on the master, especially since it makes one of the spouses who sleeps in that bed regularly uncomfortable. It’s that person’s private space, and they are entitled to wanting it private, even if you disagree. It would be different if the master was the only option, but it’s not. And again, them doing her a favor doesn’t equal them getting to do something that makes her or her DH uncomfortable just because it’s what they want.

The guest room is obviously not perfectly comfortable. And the spouse who feels icky for no good reason should just take a deep breath and focus on how grateful they are to have generous and trustworthy grandparents who give them the priceless gift of time alone.

Wanting to have your special private space so you can feel comfy while your parents sleep in a crappy bed or watch the old grainy TV is just unbelievably selfish. I guess making people feel comfortable when they are helping out with your children is not important to you.

+1 The namecalling, poor spelling PP clearly doesn't care about being a good host to family.