"deeply in love"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread makes me profoundly sad.
I am pretty good at making the best of my situation but I don't have love like this, and I guess I never have. So that means I never will.
I try and surround myself with the other good things in my life - I am blessed with fantastic children, friends, community, career. We are lucky to have a very comfortable life.
But boy do I wonder what it would feel like.

I just love you so much. Thought I was the only one. The hardest part of going out with other couples is seeing that affection and deep regard they have for each other. I have a friend who ended a friendship over this. The friend's DH was so helpful, sweet, and kind it turned her stomach. Only the belief that most marriages are like ours allows us to keep slogging through.

Yeah it’s painful to be around these people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does it mean to me?

I got really lucky. I started dating my future husband at 18, almost 19. We got married when I was 23, he was 27. We’ve been married for 13 years and have 3 beautiful, healthy, happy children. He is my very best friend, my partner in raising our children, and the absolute rock of my life. We genuinely enjoy each other’s company and just click in that way. We see the world in similar ways, we come from similar backgrounds and have the same goals and values, and have a similar sense of humor. Even now all these years later there’s no one else I’d rather just hang out and shoot the shit with.

I admire and respect him so much. He has a pretty demanding high powered job and I find it very impressive. And he’s the *best* father: openly loving and affectionate, hands on, involved and interested in every aspect of their lives the same way I am. I’m a SAHM now but when he’s home he’s in it 50/50 with me or else giving me a break because he’s such a generous, caring husband. I’ve known him for more than half my life now. Sometimes the weight of that history feels a little surreal. We are not the same people we were at 18/22 but luckily we grew up together.

And since people asked about sex, the sex is better than its ever been. We typically have sex 2x week which, judging by this board, is pretty good for a couple who has been monagamous for 18 years! And it’s always great. I almost always O twice.

Would I tell people we are “deeply in love”? Honestly no because I agree with the PP that that sounds really corny and cliched and like you’re bragging. But I do realize we have a really great marriage and a lot to be thankful for. I definitely got really lucky.

Even though I am currently going through a divorce from my DH that I met in high school, what you wrote really makes me smile. You are truly lucky, incredibly humble and very blessed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does it mean to me?

I got really lucky. I started dating my future husband at 18, almost 19. We got married when I was 23, he was 27. We’ve been married for 13 years and have 3 beautiful, healthy, happy children. He is my very best friend, my partner in raising our children, and the absolute rock of my life. We genuinely enjoy each other’s company and just click in that way. We see the world in similar ways, we come from similar backgrounds and have the same goals and values, and have a similar sense of humor. Even now all these years later there’s no one else I’d rather just hang out and shoot the shit with.

I admire and respect him so much. He has a pretty demanding high powered job and I find it very impressive. And he’s the *best* father: openly loving and affectionate, hands on, involved and interested in every aspect of their lives the same way I am. I’m a SAHM now but when he’s home he’s in it 50/50 with me or else giving me a break because he’s such a generous, caring husband. I’ve known him for more than half my life now. Sometimes the weight of that history feels a little surreal. We are not the same people we were at 18/22 but luckily we grew up together.

And since people asked about sex, the sex is better than its ever been. We typically have sex 2x week which, judging by this board, is pretty good for a couple who has been monagamous for 18 years! And it’s always great. I almost always O twice.

Would I tell people we are “deeply in love”? Honestly no because I agree with the PP that that sounds really corny and cliched and like you’re bragging. But I do realize we have a really great marriage and a lot to be thankful for. I definitely got really lucky.

Even though I am currently going through a divorce from my DH that I met in high school, what you wrote really makes me smile. You are truly lucky, incredibly humble and very blessed.

Aww thanks. That is sweet of you to say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And can I say, to those who say they don't "flaunt it" - thank you.
Not that you should have to change your behavior to accommodate those in shitty marriages, but I really do appreciate the non-flaunting cause the flaunting couples make me feel so awful. I have defriended a couple over it. Not because they did anything wrong st all and I feel so bad admitting this. But I literally could not take it. We vacationed with them multiple times and I just could not do it anymore. I have never felt so bad about my life and my marriage.

No one owes you anything. Sorry if that’s harsh but if you don’t leave a sh*t marriage it’s your own fault. Sounds like you could use a therapist for your self esteem issues.

Can you read? She didn't say anyone owed her anything and she said she's embarrassed to admit the defriending and felt bad. Do you get some sort of joy out of kicking people when they are down? And the decision to stay in a not-perfect marriage when you have kids does not mean you have self esteem issues, moron.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does it mean to me?

I got really lucky. I started dating my future husband at 18, almost 19. We got married when I was 23, he was 27. We’ve been married for 13 years and have 3 beautiful, healthy, happy children. He is my very best friend, my partner in raising our children, and the absolute rock of my life. We genuinely enjoy each other’s company and just click in that way. We see the world in similar ways, we come from similar backgrounds and have the same goals and values, and have a similar sense of humor. Even now all these years later there’s no one else I’d rather just hang out and shoot the shit with.

I admire and respect him so much. He has a pretty demanding high powered job and I find it very impressive. And he’s the *best* father: openly loving and affectionate, hands on, involved and interested in every aspect of their lives the same way I am. I’m a SAHM now but when he’s home he’s in it 50/50 with me or else giving me a break because he’s such a generous, caring husband. I’ve known him for more than half my life now. Sometimes the weight of that history feels a little surreal. We are not the same people we were at 18/22 but luckily we grew up together.

And since people asked about sex, the sex is better than its ever been. We typically have sex 2x week which, judging by this board, is pretty good for a couple who has been monagamous for 18 years! And it’s always great. I almost always O twice.

Would I tell people we are “deeply in love”? Honestly no because I agree with the PP that that sounds really corny and cliched and like you’re bragging. But I do realize we have a really great marriage and a lot to be thankful for. I definitely got really lucky.

When you say you "click" I wonder how much that has to do with who you are as people and the fact that you've been together for 18 years since you were 18, kwim? If you've been with the same person all of your adult life and you have a good marriage now, it makes sense to think that you guys went through those various phases together and that those experiences shaped you in similar ways.

In other words, what I'm wondering is if couples who get together young have a better chance in the long run because they have an opportunity to grow together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does it mean to me?

I got really lucky. I started dating my future husband at 18, almost 19. We got married when I was 23, he was 27. We’ve been married for 13 years and have 3 beautiful, healthy, happy children. He is my very best friend, my partner in raising our children, and the absolute rock of my life. We genuinely enjoy each other’s company and just click in that way. We see the world in similar ways, we come from similar backgrounds and have the same goals and values, and have a similar sense of humor. Even now all these years later there’s no one else I’d rather just hang out and shoot the shit with.

I admire and respect him so much. He has a pretty demanding high powered job and I find it very impressive. And he’s the *best* father: openly loving and affectionate, hands on, involved and interested in every aspect of their lives the same way I am. I’m a SAHM now but when he’s home he’s in it 50/50 with me or else giving me a break because he’s such a generous, caring husband. I’ve known him for more than half my life now. Sometimes the weight of that history feels a little surreal. We are not the same people we were at 18/22 but luckily we grew up together.

And since people asked about sex, the sex is better than its ever been. We typically have sex 2x week which, judging by this board, is pretty good for a couple who has been monagamous for 18 years! And it’s always great. I almost always O twice.

Would I tell people we are “deeply in love”? Honestly no because I agree with the PP that that sounds really corny and cliched and like you’re bragging. But I do realize we have a really great marriage and a lot to be thankful for. I definitely got really lucky.

When you say you "click" I wonder how much that has to do with who you are as people and the fact that you've been together for 18 years since you were 18, kwim? If you've been with the same person all of your adult life and you have a good marriage now, it makes sense to think that you guys went through those various phases together and that those experiences shaped you in similar ways.

In other words, what I'm wondering is if couples who get together young have a better chance in the long run because they have an opportunity to grow together.

Statistically speaking they are more likely to divorce because they grow up and become different people. Maybe its like adversity in childhood, most end up effed up but the ones who make it out alright turn out to be exceptional?

But I married at 27 to my DH and feel deeply in love with him (we met when I was 22 though so hey maybe?)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And can I say, to those who say they don't "flaunt it" - thank you.
Not that you should have to change your behavior to accommodate those in shitty marriages, but I really do appreciate the non-flaunting cause the flaunting couples make me feel so awful. I have defriended a couple over it. Not because they did anything wrong st all and I feel so bad admitting this. But I literally could not take it. We vacationed with them multiple times and I just could not do it anymore. I have never felt so bad about my life and my marriage.

FWIW flaunters usually do not have it. Every flaunter I know flaunts in every relationship they are in and hasn't found one that stuck.

I agree with this. The flaunters are usually grasping for straws. I wouldn't expect ANYBODY to actually say they were deeply in love (and, this board is anonymous, so it doesn't count. You can't flaunt here). The women I've known who most like to tell others how much they love and depend on their husbands are usually in couples counseling, watching their dh have an affair, or otherwise distracted by their own relationship bitchiness. Men don't seem to "flaunt" it the same way.

I remember one, I barely knew her, I'd met her twice. First time had been 7 years before, and I didn't particularly click with her. The second time we'd been in closer contact over the phone and facebook working on a project. But she came to my house to help me with something, and we were chatting as we worked and she opened up about how much she loved her husband, how she couldn't do without him, etc. etc. What in the world? It was weird and uncomfortable. I found out a few months later more about her and her husband, and they'd been in couples counseling a number of times, and he was having an affair when I'd been talking with this woman. So things couldn't have been as rosy as she made out. So weird that she'd have been trying to convince a stranger that she was so deeply in love with her husband, and he her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And can I say, to those who say they don't "flaunt it" - thank you.
Not that you should have to change your behavior to accommodate those in shitty marriages, but I really do appreciate the non-flaunting cause the flaunting couples make me feel so awful. I have defriended a couple over it. Not because they did anything wrong st all and I feel so bad admitting this. But I literally could not take it. We vacationed with them multiple times and I just could not do it anymore. I have never felt so bad about my life and my marriage.

FWIW flaunters usually do not have it. Every flaunter I know flaunts in every relationship they are in and hasn't found one that stuck.

I agree with this. The flaunters are usually grasping for straws. I wouldn't expect ANYBODY to actually say they were deeply in love (and, this board is anonymous, so it doesn't count. You can't flaunt here). The women I've known who most like to tell others how much they love and depend on their husbands are usually in couples counseling, watching their dh have an affair, or otherwise distracted by their own relationship bitchiness. Men don't seem to "flaunt" it the same way.

I remember one, I barely knew her, I'd met her twice. First time had been 7 years before, and I didn't particularly click with her. The second time we'd been in closer contact over the phone and facebook working on a project. But she came to my house to help me with something, and we were chatting as we worked and she opened up about how much she loved her husband, how she couldn't do without him, etc. etc. What in the world? It was weird and uncomfortable. I found out a few months later more about her and her husband, and they'd been in couples counseling a number of times, and he was having an affair when I'd been talking with this woman. So things couldn't have been as rosy as she made out. So weird that she'd have been trying to convince a stranger that she was so deeply in love with her husband, and he her.

I agree. The couples I know who seem like they are most in love are those who don't really talk about their marriages at all but they've been together for a long time (decades) and still treat each other well in public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does it mean to me?

I got really lucky. I started dating my future husband at 18, almost 19. We got married when I was 23, he was 27. We’ve been married for 13 years and have 3 beautiful, healthy, happy children. He is my very best friend, my partner in raising our children, and the absolute rock of my life. We genuinely enjoy each other’s company and just click in that way. We see the world in similar ways, we come from similar backgrounds and have the same goals and values, and have a similar sense of humor. Even now all these years later there’s no one else I’d rather just hang out and shoot the shit with.

I admire and respect him so much. He has a pretty demanding high powered job and I find it very impressive. And he’s the *best* father: openly loving and affectionate, hands on, involved and interested in every aspect of their lives the same way I am. I’m a SAHM now but when he’s home he’s in it 50/50 with me or else giving me a break because he’s such a generous, caring husband. I’ve known him for more than half my life now. Sometimes the weight of that history feels a little surreal. We are not the same people we were at 18/22 but luckily we grew up together.

And since people asked about sex, the sex is better than its ever been. We typically have sex 2x week which, judging by this board, is pretty good for a couple who has been monagamous for 18 years! And it’s always great. I almost always O twice.

Would I tell people we are “deeply in love”? Honestly no because I agree with the PP that that sounds really corny and cliched and like you’re bragging. But I do realize we have a really great marriage and a lot to be thankful for. I definitely got really lucky.

When you say you "click" I wonder how much that has to do with who you are as people and the fact that you've been together for 18 years since you were 18, kwim? If you've been with the same person all of your adult life and you have a good marriage now, it makes sense to think that you guys went through those various phases together and that those experiences shaped you in similar ways.

In other words, what I'm wondering is if couples who get together young have a better chance in the long run because they have an opportunity to grow together.

Not according to the statistics. College educated people who get married between 25-34 statistically divorce the least.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does it mean to me?

I got really lucky. I started dating my future husband at 18, almost 19. We got married when I was 23, he was 27. We’ve been married for 13 years and have 3 beautiful, healthy, happy children. He is my very best friend, my partner in raising our children, and the absolute rock of my life. We genuinely enjoy each other’s company and just click in that way. We see the world in similar ways, we come from similar backgrounds and have the same goals and values, and have a similar sense of humor. Even now all these years later there’s no one else I’d rather just hang out and shoot the shit with.

I admire and respect him so much. He has a pretty demanding high powered job and I find it very impressive. And he’s the *best* father: openly loving and affectionate, hands on, involved and interested in every aspect of their lives the same way I am. I’m a SAHM now but when he’s home he’s in it 50/50 with me or else giving me a break because he’s such a generous, caring husband. I’ve known him for more than half my life now. Sometimes the weight of that history feels a little surreal. We are not the same people we were at 18/22 but luckily we grew up together.

And since people asked about sex, the sex is better than its ever been. We typically have sex 2x week which, judging by this board, is pretty good for a couple who has been monagamous for 18 years! And it’s always great. I almost always O twice.

Would I tell people we are “deeply in love”? Honestly no because I agree with the PP that that sounds really corny and cliched and like you’re bragging. But I do realize we have a really great marriage and a lot to be thankful for. I definitely got really lucky.

When you say you "click" I wonder how much that has to do with who you are as people and the fact that you've been together for 18 years since you were 18, kwim? If you've been with the same person all of your adult life and you have a good marriage now, it makes sense to think that you guys went through those various phases together and that those experiences shaped you in similar ways.

In other words, what I'm wondering is if couples who get together young have a better chance in the long run because they have an opportunity to grow together.

PP here. I don't know, I guess that makes sense. To be honest, I say I got really lucky because what I was looking for at 18 in a boyfriend was not necessarily what I would have been looking for in a potential husband at 30 something, you know? All of that stuff about money, kids, career, lifestyle choices, etc. etc. that's so important now couldn't have been further from my mind at the time. We started dating for the usual reasons 18 year olds do (physical attraction, lol) and continued because we liked each other.

When I met him, I was immediately attracted to him and fell hard right away. I thought he was sooo cute, so nice, he was obviously really smart and hard working, I liked his friends, I liked his family, and my friends adored him. He was just a really really nice, cute guy. And for me, it was the first time I'd eve been head over heels like that for someone. I'd dated a little bit before him but it was nothing like this. For him to be attracted back to me felt like a small miracle. I was really really into him and super swoony about him for a long time, even years into our marriage (I think I kind of got over a lot of that butterfly giddy stuff after we started having kids, lol). I didn't even really notice other guys as being attractive until well into our marriage. I don't know, I think it was just luck that it all worked out the way it did. And really I credit a lot of it to him. He is *such* a nice, kind person. Sometimes I wonder what he is doing with me because I feel like he is such a catch and a little out of my league.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does it mean to me?

I got really lucky. I started dating my future husband at 18, almost 19. We got married when I was 23, he was 27. We’ve been married for 13 years and have 3 beautiful, healthy, happy children. He is my very best friend, my partner in raising our children, and the absolute rock of my life. We genuinely enjoy each other’s company and just click in that way. We see the world in similar ways, we come from similar backgrounds and have the same goals and values, and have a similar sense of humor. Even now all these years later there’s no one else I’d rather just hang out and shoot the shit with.

I admire and respect him so much. He has a pretty demanding high powered job and I find it very impressive. And he’s the *best* father: openly loving and affectionate, hands on, involved and interested in every aspect of their lives the same way I am. I’m a SAHM now but when he’s home he’s in it 50/50 with me or else giving me a break because he’s such a generous, caring husband. I’ve known him for more than half my life now. Sometimes the weight of that history feels a little surreal. We are not the same people we were at 18/22 but luckily we grew up together.

And since people asked about sex, the sex is better than its ever been. We typically have sex 2x week which, judging by this board, is pretty good for a couple who has been monagamous for 18 years! And it’s always great. I almost always O twice.

Would I tell people we are “deeply in love”? Honestly no because I agree with the PP that that sounds really corny and cliched and like you’re bragging. But I do realize we have a really great marriage and a lot to be thankful for. I definitely got really lucky.

When you say you "click" I wonder how much that has to do with who you are as people and the fact that you've been together for 18 years since you were 18, kwim? If you've been with the same person all of your adult life and you have a good marriage now, it makes sense to think that you guys went through those various phases together and that those experiences shaped you in similar ways.

In other words, what I'm wondering is if couples who get together young have a better chance in the long run because they have an opportunity to grow together.

Not according to the statistics. College educated people who get married between 25-34 statistically divorce the least.

That's interesting, that they've done studies that break it down like that. I had read that people who marry early tend to divorce more but it's interesting that that's not necessarily true for college educated people who marry early in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does it mean to me?

I got really lucky. I started dating my future husband at 18, almost 19. We got married when I was 23, he was 27. We’ve been married for 13 years and have 3 beautiful, healthy, happy children. He is my very best friend, my partner in raising our children, and the absolute rock of my life. We genuinely enjoy each other’s company and just click in that way. We see the world in similar ways, we come from similar backgrounds and have the same goals and values, and have a similar sense of humor. Even now all these years later there’s no one else I’d rather just hang out and shoot the shit with.

I admire and respect him so much. He has a pretty demanding high powered job and I find it very impressive. And he’s the *best* father: openly loving and affectionate, hands on, involved and interested in every aspect of their lives the same way I am. I’m a SAHM now but when he’s home he’s in it 50/50 with me or else giving me a break because he’s such a generous, caring husband. I’ve known him for more than half my life now. Sometimes the weight of that history feels a little surreal. We are not the same people we were at 18/22 but luckily we grew up together.

And since people asked about sex, the sex is better than its ever been. We typically have sex 2x week which, judging by this board, is pretty good for a couple who has been monagamous for 18 years! And it’s always great. I almost always O twice.

Would I tell people we are “deeply in love”? Honestly no because I agree with the PP that that sounds really corny and cliched and like you’re bragging. But I do realize we have a really great marriage and a lot to be thankful for. I definitely got really lucky.

When you say you "click" I wonder how much that has to do with who you are as people and the fact that you've been together for 18 years since you were 18, kwim? If you've been with the same person all of your adult life and you have a good marriage now, it makes sense to think that you guys went through those various phases together and that those experiences shaped you in similar ways.

In other words, what I'm wondering is if couples who get together young have a better chance in the long run because they have an opportunity to grow together.

PP here. I don't know, I guess that makes sense. To be honest, I say I got really lucky because what I was looking for at 18 in a boyfriend was not necessarily what I would have been looking for in a potential husband at 30 something, you know? All of that stuff about money, kids, career, lifestyle choices, etc. etc. that's so important now couldn't have been further from my mind at the time. We started dating for the usual reasons 18 year olds do (physical attraction, lol) and continued because we liked each other.

When I met him, I was immediately attracted to him and fell hard right away. I thought he was sooo cute, so nice, he was obviously really smart and hard working, I liked his friends, I liked his family, and my friends adored him. He was just a really really nice, cute guy. And for me, it was the first time I'd eve been head over heels like that for someone. I'd dated a little bit before him but it was nothing like this. For him to be attracted back to me felt like a small miracle. I was really really into him and super swoony about him for a long time, even years into our marriage (I think I kind of got over a lot of that butterfly giddy stuff after we started having kids, lol). I didn't even really notice other guys as being attractive until well into our marriage. I don't know, I think it was just luck that it all worked out the way it did. And really I credit a lot of it to him. He is *such* a nice, kind person. Sometimes I wonder what he is doing with me because I feel like he is such a catch and a little out of my league.

This is so sweet. I think ideally everyone should feel this way about their spouse.