"deeply in love"

[Anonymous]

What does it mean to me?

I got really lucky. I started dating my future husband at 18, almost 19. We got married when I was 23, he was 27. We’ve been married for 13 years and have 3 beautiful, healthy, happy children. He is my very best friend, my partner in raising our children, and the absolute rock of my life. We genuinely enjoy each other’s company and just click in that way. We see the world in similar ways, we come from similar backgrounds and have the same goals and values, and have a similar sense of humor. Even now all these years later there’s no one else I’d rather just hang out and shoot the shit with.

I admire and respect him so much. He has a pretty demanding high powered job and I find it very impressive. And he’s the *best* father: openly loving and affectionate, hands on, involved and interested in every aspect of their lives the same way I am. I’m a SAHM now but when he’s home he’s in it 50/50 with me or else giving me a break because he’s such a generous, caring husband. I’ve known him for more than half my life now. Sometimes the weight of that history feels a little surreal. We are not the same people we were at 18/22 but luckily we grew up together.

And since people asked about sex, the sex is better than its ever been. We typically have sex 2x week which, judging by this board, is pretty good for a couple who has been monagamous for 18 years! And it’s always great. I almost always O twice.

Would I tell people we are “deeply in love”? Honestly no because I agree with the PP that that sounds really corny and cliched and like you’re bragging. But I do realize we have a really great marriage and a lot to be thankful for. I definitely got really lucky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Much of this seems more like sexual attraction than “deeply in love.” I hear the latter phrase used mostly by people who have left their first spouses for someone new, though, so maybe I’m jaded.

I'm surprised that is what you're reading into it. I feel like that is not it at all, it has almost nothing to do with sex. Sex is more a manifestation of it or a way to feel it in a more undiluted way but it is not sexual attraction.

It is just feeling 100% at ease and at one with another person. I feel completely accepted and completely accepting, and it is much more that those things are in the way I think and communicate and act than between the sheets.

I think what you are describing is initial relationship infatuation, that is a cousin of this feeling but not the same thing.

I was also surprised by the earlier comment. I feel super lucky to have met my DH and like others, I don't like to talk about how in love we are because no one else really gets it. My SIL mocks how affectionate DH is towards me, but her marriage was openly one of timing - I think after feeling what I've felt for the DH...I could never go that route. It's not just the sex, but it's this bond that you can't shake.

Same here. Truly no one gets it. I've seen hundreds of happy marriages, but none are like mine so I rarely mention how happy and blissful our marriage is. What's even sadder is that a friend stayed with us for a month by herself while they were moving. She filed for divorce after because she saw what marriage could be like and compared it to hers.

LOL. Yes. You are the only one. How odd that this is how you think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does it mean to me?

I got really lucky. I started dating my future husband at 18, almost 19. We got married when I was 23, he was 27. We’ve been married for 13 years and have 3 beautiful, healthy, happy children. He is my very best friend, my partner in raising our children, and the absolute rock of my life. We genuinely enjoy each other’s company and just click in that way. We see the world in similar ways, we come from similar backgrounds and have the same goals and values, and have a similar sense of humor. Even now all these years later there’s no one else I’d rather just hang out and shoot the shit with.

I admire and respect him so much. He has a pretty demanding high powered job and I find it very impressive. And he’s the *best* father: openly loving and affectionate, hands on, involved and interested in every aspect of their lives the same way I am. I’m a SAHM now but when he’s home he’s in it 50/50 with me or else giving me a break because he’s such a generous, caring husband. I’ve known him for more than half my life now. Sometimes the weight of that history feels a little surreal. We are not the same people we were at 18/22 but luckily we grew up together.

And since people asked about sex, the sex is better than its ever been. We typically have sex 2x week which, judging by this board, is pretty good for a couple who has been monagamous for 18 years! And it’s always great. I almost always O twice.

Would I tell people we are “deeply in love”? Honestly no because I agree with the PP that that sounds really corny and cliched and like you’re bragging. But I do realize we have a really great marriage and a lot to be thankful for. I definitely got really lucky.

YOU ARE BLESSED AND VERY VERY LUCKY!

[Anonymous]

I don't know. It rings kind of odd to me, like "I love him/her to death"...uhhhhh??

[Anonymous]

I shared this mutually with an ex, when we were both very young. Divorced and saw the ex again, who is also now divorced. It’s still there. It’s real. I don’t know if it would work with him now, but I do know that once you experience Love like that, everything else is subpar, even if it’s great. There is something about the deep mutual magnetism that is so rare, it’s hard to forget. I’ve learned to live with that and still be content, but I absolutely think it’s necessary for the 1+1=3

[Anonymous]

This thread makes me profoundly sad.
I am pretty good at making the best of my situation but I don't have love like this, and I guess I never have. So that means I never will.
I try and surround myself with the other good things in my life - I am blessed with fantastic children, friends, community, career. We are lucky to have a very comfortable life.
But boy do I wonder what it would feel like.

[Anonymous]

And can I say, to those who say they don't "flaunt it" - thank you.
Not that you should have to change your behavior to accommodate those in shitty marriages, but I really do appreciate the non-flaunting cause the flaunting couples make me feel so awful. I have defriended a couple over it. Not because they did anything wrong st all and I feel so bad admitting this. But I literally could not take it. We vacationed with them multiple times and I just could not do it anymore. I have never felt so bad about my life and my marriage.

[Anonymous]

If something happened to my DH I'd be heartbroken. I will leave it at that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And can I say, to those who say they don't "flaunt it" - thank you.
Not that you should have to change your behavior to accommodate those in shitty marriages, but I really do appreciate the non-flaunting cause the flaunting couples make me feel so awful. I have defriended a couple over it. Not because they did anything wrong st all and I feel so bad admitting this. But I literally could not take it. We vacationed with them multiple times and I just could not do it anymore. I have never felt so bad about my life and my marriage.

FWIW flaunters usually do not have it. Every flaunter I know flaunts in every relationship they are in and hasn't found one that stuck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Corny

I can’t imagine saying that on social media or worse irl and not feeling like a vain asshole whose head is permanently glued to my navel.

And this is coming from someone who’s been happily married for 15 years!

I say happy or good marriage, etc. No reason to break out the purple prose.

I'm a a PP that says I have it. I would never use those words to describe it out loud, even with DH let alone on social media. Because yes, super corny. And frankly I put basically nothing about my relationship on social media because it is mine and not for public consumption.

But I feel something special with him and always have. And this phrase rings true with that feeling. That's all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread makes me profoundly sad.
I am pretty good at making the best of my situation but I don't have love like this, and I guess I never have. So that means I never will.
I try and surround myself with the other good things in my life - I am blessed with fantastic children, friends, community, career. We are lucky to have a very comfortable life.
But boy do I wonder what it would feel like.

Ehhh. Some people just aren't like this (corny and flowery). That doesn't mean the love is any less real. Just that you don't live in a Hallmark commercial.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If something happened to my DH I'd be heartbroken. I will leave it at that.

Is there anyone in a decent marriage who doesn't feel like that? If that is the test, I think many people feel like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread makes me profoundly sad.
I am pretty good at making the best of my situation but I don't have love like this, and I guess I never have. So that means I never will.
I try and surround myself with the other good things in my life - I am blessed with fantastic children, friends, community, career. We are lucky to have a very comfortable life.
But boy do I wonder what it would feel like.

I just love you so much. Thought I was the only one. The hardest part of going out with other couples is seeing that affection and deep regard they have for each other. I have a friend who ended a friendship over this. The friend's DH was so helpful, sweet, and kind it turned her stomach. Only the belief that most marriages are like ours allows us to keep slogging through.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And can I say, to those who say they don't "flaunt it" - thank you.
Not that you should have to change your behavior to accommodate those in shitty marriages, but I really do appreciate the non-flaunting cause the flaunting couples make me feel so awful. I have defriended a couple over it. Not because they did anything wrong st all and I feel so bad admitting this. But I literally could not take it. We vacationed with them multiple times and I just could not do it anymore. I have never felt so bad about my life and my marriage.

No one owes you anything. Sorry if that’s harsh but if you don’t leave a sh*t marriage it’s your own fault. Sounds like you could use a therapist for your self esteem issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does it mean to me?

I got really lucky. I started dating my future husband at 18, almost 19. We got married when I was 23, he was 27. We’ve been married for 13 years and have 3 beautiful, healthy, happy children. He is my very best friend, my partner in raising our children, and the absolute rock of my life. We genuinely enjoy each other’s company and just click in that way. We see the world in similar ways, we come from similar backgrounds and have the same goals and values, and have a similar sense of humor. Even now all these years later there’s no one else I’d rather just hang out and shoot the shit with.

I admire and respect him so much. He has a pretty demanding high powered job and I find it very impressive. And he’s the *best* father: openly loving and affectionate, hands on, involved and interested in every aspect of their lives the same way I am. I’m a SAHM now but when he’s home he’s in it 50/50 with me or else giving me a break because he’s such a generous, caring husband. I’ve known him for more than half my life now. Sometimes the weight of that history feels a little surreal. We are not the same people we were at 18/22 but luckily we grew up together.

And since people asked about sex, the sex is better than its ever been. We typically have sex 2x week which, judging by this board, is pretty good for a couple who has been monagamous for 18 years! And it’s always great. I almost always O twice.

Would I tell people we are “deeply in love”? Honestly no because I agree with the PP that that sounds really corny and cliched and like you’re bragging. But I do realize we have a really great marriage and a lot to be thankful for. I definitely got really lucky.

Wow! You are so so lucky!