Why is dating so hard once you hit 40?

[Anonymous]

I dont have problmes. Remarried at 42. My new DH has a better career, is taller, and has more hair than DH#1. He even has bitcoin! Got a huge forklift upgrade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Smaller pool, men can date younger women, but you also have less tolerance for BS. You’re probably pickier than you were in your 20s, which isn’t a bad thing.

Of course, the dating paradox---women become less desirable as they get older, yet they get pickier. No wonder there's so many spinsters here whining about not being able to find decent men.

Is it really whining if it's true?

Over the last 6 months, between the sex scandal revelations and the comments of the bystanders and justifiers, all of which have triggered self-reflection about the large role sexual assault, harassment and abuse have played in my own life, my view is that the # of men in the 40+ range who are "decent" is indeed slim.

And, I'm not sure it's really right to call it being "picky" to refuse to include men like these in my dating pool.

Oh please. Millionaires used to having pretty little things at their fingertips on demand are making the news. What does that have to do with your dating life unless you're already excluding the 99% of us who don't have the money to treat people like crap? The fact is women become connoisseurs as they get older, and the few men who meet your standards can pick and choose.

Not rich guy who has pursued women his own age for years.

[Anonymous]

When my brother was 25 he started dating a 35 yo divorced mom with 2 kids. Married her 2 years later.

We (his family) were a bit surprised but hey you never know!

GL OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All the 40 year old divorced dads with kids and baby momma drama - how many of them are getting the childless hot 20 year olds? I suppose if you're the type okay with being used for money, you're golden.

52 year old divorced dad here. Since getting divorced I have dated seven women between the ages of 22 and 29. All were childless, and just one of them had been previously married. I could have easily dated three times that number of young women, but I prefer young lawyers, grad students, and women endowed with intellects, and they are a little harder to find.

I prefer women close to my age for a long-term relationship, but it has been fun revisiting my youth, and my married guy friends love hearing my stories.

Yuuuuuuck

You know none of those girls want to marry your old saggy ass right? You’re a joke to them and their friends.

[Anonymous]

You are no longer young and naive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm sorry you're having a difficult time.

I'm a divorced 40yo man with two kids that are with me half the time.

I have not found dating and sex to be difficult, but I would like to remarry but don't want more children, which has led to many relationships that could have worked ending quickly.

Keep trying. Best of luck.

Hmm. This is interesting to me. I'm a 41 year old woman who is fine with not having my own kids because I figure that ship has sailed - I'm too old. What are bracket are you trying to date? Are you trying to date women in their 30s? Aim for my age or a little older and you will have that problem
Much less.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can hookup every night of the week, but WTF?

The question is, do you? That's how I found a lustful, kind and sweet man 20+ years ago.

It took a number of tries, but the sex was generally quite good and often very exciting. I have no regrets.

[Anonymous]

Early 50's man divorced for 8 years now. At first dating was fun and lots of ONS but always played in my sandbox of plus or minus 10 years. After awhile missed that yearning for just one. A couple LTR and they always broke up due to one of us not feeling it anymore. Conflicts with kids, money and ex's always hurt the relationship. Now that my kids are older and I'm an empty nester, noticed that woman in the same boat are attractive to me.

[Anonymous]

DC area divorced men in the 40-50 age bracket that have their sh** together do not have any issues finding/dating women. My DH still gets phone calls from women he used to date and tells them he is married now with a kid. He is 50 and I am ~10 years younger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DC area divorced men in the 40-50 age bracket that have their sh** together do not have any issues finding/dating women. My DH still gets phone calls from women he used to date and tells them he is married now with a kid. He is 50 and I am ~10 years younger.

Women in this age range also don’t have a problem getting men if they have their shit together.

If you’re in shape, intelligent and kind, and like sex, at any age you’re a unicorn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC area divorced men in the 40-50 age bracket that have their sh** together do not have any issues finding/dating women. My DH still gets phone calls from women he used to date and tells them he is married now with a kid. He is 50 and I am ~10 years younger.

Women in this age range also don’t have a problem getting men if they have their shit together.

If you’re in shape, intelligent and kind, and like sex, at any age you’re a unicorn.

+1 liking spontaneous sex is a key element. However, getting a man to commit is a whole different story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC area divorced men in the 40-50 age bracket that have their sh** together do not have any issues finding/dating women. My DH still gets phone calls from women he used to date and tells them he is married now with a kid. He is 50 and I am ~10 years younger.

Women in this age range also don’t have a problem getting men if they have their shit together.

If you’re in shape, intelligent and kind, and like sex, at any age you’re a unicorn.

+1 liking spontaneous sex is a key element. However, getting a man to commit is a whole different story.

If you're all these things you can find a good guy to commit to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC area divorced men in the 40-50 age bracket that have their sh** together do not have any issues finding/dating women. My DH still gets phone calls from women he used to date and tells them he is married now with a kid. He is 50 and I am ~10 years younger.

Women in this age range also don’t have a problem getting men if they have their shit together.

If you’re in shape, intelligent and kind, and like sex, at any age you’re a unicorn.

+1 liking spontaneous sex is a key element. However, getting a man to commit is a whole different story.

If you're all these things you can find a good guy to commit to you.

This is true, as long as you are willing to skew a little a bit older. Age gaps in relationships tend to increase as people get older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC area divorced men in the 40-50 age bracket that have their sh** together do not have any issues finding/dating women. My DH still gets phone calls from women he used to date and tells them he is married now with a kid. He is 50 and I am ~10 years younger.

Women in this age range also don’t have a problem getting men if they have their shit together.

If you’re in shape, intelligent and kind, and like sex, at any age you’re a unicorn.

+1 liking spontaneous sex is a key element. However, getting a man to commit is a whole different story.

If you're all these things you can find a good guy to commit to you.

This is true, as long as you are willing to skew a little a bit older. Age gaps in relationships tend to increase as people get older.

PP from above; my DH takes great care of himself and is a kind man. I have no regrets marrying an older man. His ex-wife is overweight and cray cray; he had the guts to walk away from an unhappy marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All the 40 year old divorced dads with kids and baby momma drama - how many of them are getting the childless hot 20 year olds? I suppose if you're the type okay with being used for money, you're golden.

Men are used to being judged mostly on their income/status. Though, I agree that it's a bit of a stretch to claim that men in their 40s are getting the "hot 20 year olds."

They're not. I'm closer to 20s than 40s and women my age and under think 40+ is old. 20 something women have their pick and there are too many single, childless, attractive, professional men available in their 20s and 30s.