Multi-generation Princeton double-legacy. DC doesn't want to go there...help

[Anonymous]

For what it's worth, my DH was in a similar position 10+ years ago. His parents convinced him to apply to Princeton as his back-up school. He ended up going to Yale.

He was very, very happy at Yale. He was also glad he had applied to Princeton, in case he didn't get into Yale in the end.

Back off the kid, let him know he can make his own decision (assuming he can?) - then in the end encourage him to apply to Princeton as a back-up option.

Once he's admitted to schools he can start visiting and thinking about the decision more seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let's say you are a Firestone or Pyne or Rockefeller or Whatever. On that case ds already has a million advantages. It will make zero difference if he goes to Princeton or to Lake Forest College or spends four years shepherding in Ireland. He will have a privileged life regardless. This decision has virtually no bearing on the trajectory of ds' life. It's just that you guys want this, that's all.

Wow, you know your Princetonian families. All you needed to throw in was Dodge, Henry and/or Whitman, and you'd have Bingo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let's say you are a Firestone or Pyne or Rockefeller or Whatever. On that case ds already has a million advantages. It will make zero difference if he goes to Princeton or to Lake Forest College or spends four years shepherding in Ireland. He will have a privileged life regardless. This decision has virtually no bearing on the trajectory of ds' life. It's just that you guys want this, that's all.

Wow, you know your Princetonian families. All you needed to throw in was Dodge, Henry and/or Whitman, and you'd have Bingo.

Fords are a Princeton too.

[Anonymous]

I think the OP's family's concern is less Princeton per se than the fact that he might not get into any other elite schools.

I don't blame your son for being wary of P. It's known as least pleasant of of the HYS due to the grade inflation and the setting. As a result, it attracts a lot of prestige-driven kids who were rejected from the other three.

I doubt P would give him a big advantage in life compared to, say, Columbia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the OP's family's concern is less Princeton per se than the fact that he might not get into any other elite schools.

I don't blame your son for being wary of P. It's known as least pleasant of of the HYS due to the grade inflation and the setting. As a result, it attracts a lot of prestige-driven kids who were rejected from the other three.

I doubt P would give him a big advantage in life compared to, say, Columbia.

So students are against grade inflation? An idyllic campus? And a focus on undergraduate students?

I'd hardly say Princeton is considered the least pleasant of those schools (Harvard has a rep as being fairly miserable), but I could certainly see why OP might prefer another school.

[Anonymous]

oh the plight of the american aristocracy...I feel for you. Not really.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let's say you are a Firestone or Pyne or Rockefeller or Whatever. On that case ds already has a million advantages. It will make zero difference if he goes to Princeton or to Lake Forest College or spends four years shepherding in Ireland. He will have a privileged life regardless. This decision has virtually no bearing on the trajectory of ds' life. It's just that you guys want this, that's all.

Wow, you know your Princetonian families. All you needed to throw in was Dodge, Henry and/or Whitman, and you'd have Bingo.

Fords are a Princeton too.

I m the OP. No, we are not quite on that level. We do not have a nationally famous family name and we are not legendary industrialists or something. Sure, we are privileged but not quite what you are describing. I would rather see my kids scrubbing toilets than live off the family money as you say. That is neither how we were raised nor how we have raised our kids.

Anyway thanks everyone for your perspective and input.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the OP's family's concern is less Princeton per se than the fact that he might not get into any other elite schools.

I don't blame your son for being wary of P. It's known as least pleasant of of the HYS due to the grade inflation and the setting. As a result, it attracts a lot of prestige-driven kids who were rejected from the other three.

I doubt P would give him a big advantage in life compared to, say, Columbia.

Princeton seemed way more pleasant to me than Harvard, which seemed cold in every sense of the word, and Stanford was just too far away. I did think Yale was fantastic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know this is a real first-world problem but here we go. Our family has a multi-generation tradition at Princeton. By multi-generation I mean starting with my husbands great-great-grandfather in the 19th century. On my side, my father, grandfather and myself attended.

Our child is rebelling and says he does not want to apply there at all. He is a junior currently. If he applies, his profile plus our legacy status practically guarantees him admission. We have had many extended family members with less impressive profiles get in because of our legacy status, so I am pretty sure DC would get in.

My husband and father in-law are furious, every day is a battle between them and DC. I think my kid just wants to strike out on his own and not follow the family tradition. However I also wish he would keep up the tradition and practically speaking this is his best chance at a elite school. I wish I could find a way to persuade him to consider at least applying or at the very least find a way to diffuse the situation. It is getting toxic.

I call major troll. Anyone who really attended Princeton would know that this is an incorrect use of the word "myself."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the OP's family's concern is less Princeton per se than the fact that he might not get into any other elite schools.

I don't blame your son for being wary of P. It's known as least pleasant of of the HYS due to the grade inflation and the setting. As a result, it attracts a lot of prestige-driven kids who were rejected from the other three.

I doubt P would give him a big advantage in life compared to, say, Columbia.

PP here. That was supposed to be grade deflation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know this is a real first-world problem but here we go. Our family has a multi-generation tradition at Princeton. By multi-generation I mean starting with my husbands great-great-grandfather in the 19th century. On my side, my father, grandfather and myself attended.

Our child is rebelling and says he does not want to apply there at all. He is a junior currently. If he applies, his profile plus our legacy status practically guarantees him admission. We have had many extended family members with less impressive profiles get in because of our legacy status, so I am pretty sure DC would get in.

My husband and father in-law are furious, every day is a battle between them and DC. I think my kid just wants to strike out on his own and not follow the family tradition. However I also wish he would keep up the tradition and practically speaking this is his best chance at a elite school. I wish I could find a way to persuade him to consider at least applying or at the very least find a way to diffuse the situation. It is getting toxic.

I call major troll. Anyone who really attended Princeton would know that this is an incorrect use of the word "myself."

+1
It is really ignorant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It will serve him right not to apply OP and end up somewhere sub-par. You are really exaggerating to think he is a "shoe in" for Princeton. It is #1 on USNWR. I think you'd be surprised how many legacies don't get in.

He might end up at UMBC ...

Can you even imagine what they'll be saying about that at the club?

What is this from?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the OP's family's concern is less Princeton per se than the fact that he might not get into any other elite schools.

I don't blame your son for being wary of P. It's known as least pleasant of of the HYS due to the grade inflation and the setting. As a result, it attracts a lot of prestige-driven kids who were rejected from the other three.

I doubt P would give him a big advantage in life compared to, say, Columbia.

Princeton seemed way more pleasant to me than Harvard, which seemed cold in every sense of the word, and Stanford was just too far away. I did think Yale was fantastic.

Cross-admits tell a very different story. Princeton loses big against each of H,Y, and S.

[Anonymous]

Back off. Let him do it himself, and then kick himself for not taking advantage of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It will serve him right not to apply OP and end up somewhere sub-par. You are really exaggerating to think he is a "shoe in" for Princeton. It is #1 on USNWR. I think you'd be surprised how many legacies don't get in.

He might end up at UMBC ...

Can you even imagine what they'll be saying about that at the club?

What is this from?

Trading Places! (And no, I'm not the one who posted it.)