That's not really how it works, but there is a chance you will make a baby when you have sex wanted or not. If you make the kid the law says your responsible. That's fact. So if you absolutely want to not have a kid and still have sex, your best bet is to look into permanent birth control. But the pp you're responding to sound like the "girl is responsible for bc " and " Id don't like condoms" type. |
| I don't know anybody who has done this. Do they advertise after the fact? |
When there are two people both using BC the odds of an unintended pregnancy go drop down to very low risk. You do not need to sterilize yourself to not have a baby. |
In your first sentence you demonstrate a nice superiority bias ("bad things happen to other people because they brought it on themselves, but not me!"). Unless you are a mind-reader, you can never be sure what someone else is thinking, even those "good guys" that you picked out using your superior insight (according to you). You then proceed to blame the victims, which is easier to do since you've already decided that they brought their misfortune on themselves. |
Uh, if it would absolutely be a horrible idea for you to have a baby with the person you are having sex with - you use protection yourself. If you are putting the responsibility into someone else's hands, you will need to live with the consequences of that choice. A woman who lies about being on BCP or a man who would deliberately remove a condom during sex are bad news. Women do have a choice to terminate an unintended pregnancy or choose adoption even if that is not a choice that they would ever want to make. The man has no say in the matter- unless the woman allows him to help make the decision. Of course, a woman who intentionally LIES like that is probably not the type to allow the man any say.... Be responsible for yourself. |
You are being willfully obtuse. People often have sex with people with whom they are not prepared to have children, but that's not same as "it would absolutely be a horrible idea." Maybe they are early in the dating process, maybe they like each other, but don't plan to get married. Life isn't so black and white. |
Yes, exactly! Which is why they need to take responsibility for their own BC and not pin the responsibility on a person that they may barely know. If it would be a bad idea for YOU to have a baby with THAT person (or ANY person), you make sure that you use BC yourself. If you aren't willing to protect your own interests don't expect anyone else to. |
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Only the young lady I met on the Metro crying about her boyfriend leaving her. I told her that babies solve problems like this. She actually believed it, and five months later she was showing.
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I know of a few women IRL who have done this. In one of the cases, the woman is bitter because it didn't work and now she's a single mom.
But I also agree that if a man doesn't use a condom, then he's an idiot and I'm not really sympathetic. The reality is that if you don't want to have a baby, you need to make sure to use birth control and not just trust that the other person is taking measures to prevent it. Sure, accidents happen, but condoms are 98 percent effective in preventing pregnancy. |
| Well, prior to getting married I was dating my now DW who was in the US on a green card. She got pregnant. I was content to stay single but she said we needed to get married because . . . well . . . something about the child's citizenship status in her home country. It sounded kind of important, like the child's status could be lessened if the child ever decided to live in that country as an adult. So we got married. A couple years after we were married DW said, oops, she was wrong about the need to get married. And oh by the way, now that we are married I can get a better, longer term green card (marriage visa) than the one I have. I wonder if I was taken on a ride, in more ways than one. |
| It happens a lot. In small towns you hear about it. |
| Sort of true. I got married because I was prego. But I didn't really feel need to marry otherwise. |
| My parents did that but it wasn't uncommon in the 50s. I got pregnant 5 years after getting married - focused on my career first. |
There is no "better, longer term" green card. A green card means permanent residency. Permanent means "forever". There is nothing longer than "forever." There is no such thing as "marriage visa". |