My cleaning lady stole my engagement ring (and other jewelry) - what to do?

[Anonymous]

You report to the police so that you can file an insurance claim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I always end up finding my "missing" jewelry and feel bad thinking who may have taken it etc...
Keep looking out for it.

+1.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This literally can be as simple as this:

"hi Cleaner Cindy while your cleaning today can you keep an eye out for ________, we can't find it anywhere!"

"OOO sorry Mrs. Boss they are on top of the bathroom window sill, I moved them when I was cleaning last week and forgot to put them back on the dresser."

This. And why aren't you wearing your ring? It's certainly not in danger of being ruined while cleaning your own house!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she stole it, she probably won't show up to clean tomorrow. My friend's cleaning person stole her engagement ring and then disappeared. Shut of her (burner) phone. Ghost. Police couldn't do anything...couldn't find her.

We don't have a cleaning service because of that friends incident.n

Did your friends not have insurance? I can't imagine basing my decisions around such fear.

OP. You are 99% certain that someone stole something of pretty significant value from you but you haven't called the police?

No, you aren't that certain at all. Because 99% is pretty darn certain. I'd question your sanity were you actually CERTAIN that someone robbed you and you didn't report it. But you aren't that certain and that's why you haven't reported it.

I'm not reporting it yet because I don't think they will do anything to recover the items. Why waste my time?

How convenient that you have security cameras everywhere in your house EXCEPT where you keep your valuable UNLOCKED jewelry. An insurance appraiser would probably think you are the culprit here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the jewelry was a family item passed on to you, then it is even more likely to be family that took it. My sister has stolen many things from various family members. However, it is much more likely that you have misplaced the item and won't find it because it's in the vacuum, behind a crevice in the floorboards, or in a pocket of an item you took to the cleaners or goodwill. It's natural to fear someone else is more responsible for your misfortune than you yourself, but it just isn't the case. It's not like you had the maid in the house and saw the ring, then noticed it missing right after she dusted the table it was occupying.

Yes, it may be very well be that I misplaced it. If this helps at all with the analysis, the entire jewelry box containing the ring, the earrings and watch, is missing. So, it's not like I just misplaced one item in a pant pocket or something like that. That box is missing.

Now a whole box of crap is missing. Three pages in and now you share this detail. Losing empathy for you OP

[Anonymous]

One day I asked. MY cleaning lady if she had seen a carved wooden elephant. No monetary value and very little sentimental value. She looked like crazy for it, said her assistant was instructed never to move things, was very apologetic, offered to buy me a new elephant, etc etc. I kept telling her not to worry, it wasn't a big deal, that I thought it was in the house somewhere etc etc.
a couple of weeks go by. She keeps fretting over the elephant. I think she thought I was accusing her which I absolutely was not.
Eventually I found the elephant, in a place that I thought I had already looked but obviously had not.
Moral of story for me: I put that elephant away when we were getting ready for some housepainters, forgot I had even moved it. So, keep looking a while longer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pppssshhhh close family is much more likely to screw you over statically then a house cleaner.

This may be true. I also agree OP should mention to cleaner to keep an eye out for it rather than making accusations right away.

BUT

I know several people who have been ripped off by housecleaners. It's ALWAYS longer-term ones who they 'feel' closer to and not some generic company that sends different people each time. In one case, jewelry with a lot of sentimental and monetary value was lost and never recovered by someone who had been with them for years and they had significantly gone above and beyond to help the cleaners family.

Because of this, I always use a corporate housecleaner and never develop a relationship with the workers although I do tip well.

[Anonymous]

two stories: One is my friend had a babysitter steal some nice clothes. She knew it was the babysitter because she had been in her closet playing with her child. She called the babysitter and said "Look. I know you stole x. I have cameras and I saw you take x. Bring it back immediately or I will call the police and press charges." The babysitter brought in back within 15 minutes and was crying. ( my friend did not have any cameras, but she was confident it was the babysitter)

second story. I had a ring stolen from me. A close friend came to visit over the weekend. A couple days later i noticed it was missing. I called police and they dusted for fingerprints. They told me that it was someone who knew where it was. I was convinced it was the pothead who lived upstairs. convinced. Another friend said " it was your friend Katy who came to visit that weekend." I said no way! she would never ever do that. We are very close. I found out years later that it was that friend who stole it. It was really so obvious, but i just couldn't believe it at the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you certain the door wasn't left unlocked one day and someone came in and took it? That has happened where I live. Thieves don't necessarily make it obvious there was a theft. If the jewelry was in an obvious place like a box on your dresser, it's the first place someone is going to look when they enter your house.

RIGHT??? I love it how OP assumes no outside criminal activity can ever occur in her precious abode where only the help can steal.

Not possible. I have video cameras everywhere (except of course, my bedroom where these items are kept).

And did you review those videos? I had no idea my house was broken into. Was home for hours after it happened and never would have known except for one small detail. I was recovering from a sports injury and kept a heating pad on my dresser. Not only was the pad not there, but I saw the cord sticking out from the closed dresser drawer. Otherwise nothing was noticeably disturbed. Probably would have been days before I realized, had I not been nursing that injury.

Review the video.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would get in touch with her now asking if she has seen it. Mention that you are going crazy looking for it and are hoping she has seen it. Just happen to mention that you really hope she has seen it because if you have to fess up to your husband about it he's going to flip out and involve the police. Perhaps if she think she's helping you avoid "the wrath of your husband" it may miraculously reappear on Thursday! (getting in touch with her now gives her a chance to bring it back on Thursday if she does indeed have it)

You know, that's clever.
Why don't you try that?

[Anonymous]

Did you check behind the drawer, and behind the dresser? (or whatever piece of furniture it was on?)

[Anonymous]

Could you or your husband have put the box somewhere "safe" from the cleaning lady & forgotten? Bottom of laundry basket, inside a pair of tall boats, in the car?

[Anonymous]

I call troll. Typical story embellishment and refusing to answer real questions (like about police/insurance)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the jewelry was a family item passed on to you, then it is even more likely to be family that took it. My sister has stolen many things from various family members. However, it is much more likely that you have misplaced the item and won't find it because it's in the vacuum, behind a crevice in the floorboards, or in a pocket of an item you took to the cleaners or goodwill. It's natural to fear someone else is more responsible for your misfortune than you yourself, but it just isn't the case. It's not like you had the maid in the house and saw the ring, then noticed it missing right after she dusted the table it was occupying.

Yes, it may be very well be that I misplaced it. If this helps at all with the analysis, the entire jewelry box containing the ring, the earrings and watch, is missing. So, it's not like I just misplaced one item in a pant pocket or something like that. That box is missing.

Now a whole box of crap is missing. Three pages in and now you share this detail. Losing empathy for you OP

This is different because it eliminates the possibility of having mislaid a tiny item - I assume you're not so blind as to see past a substantial jewelry box, right?
So file a report ASAP. It's blatant theft. ALSO ask the cleaning lady and ANYBODY ELSE whose been in your house, including family, that you've lost this box. Keep telling them, giving someone time to "find" it again, and then say you've filed a report.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One day I asked. MY cleaning lady if she had seen a carved wooden elephant. No monetary value and very little sentimental value. She looked like crazy for it, said her assistant was instructed never to move things, was very apologetic, offered to buy me a new elephant, etc etc. I kept telling her not to worry, it wasn't a big deal, that I thought it was in the house somewhere etc etc.
a couple of weeks go by. She keeps fretting over the elephant. I think she thought I was accusing her which I absolutely was not.
Eventually I found the elephant, in a place that I thought I had already looked but obviously had not.
Moral of story for me: I put that elephant away when we were getting ready for some housepainters, forgot I had even moved it. So, keep looking a while longer.

NP here. I agree that cleaners have far more to lose than gain from petty theft.

I once had a pair of ceramic candlesticks on my mantle. They had been a housewarming gift from a friend. Black ceramic, taper candlesticks with a hexagonal base, maybe $10-15 for the pair at HomeGoods or similar. My housecleaner broke one while cleaning once. She was so upset. I told her it didn't matter as they were not valuable. She promised to replace them. The next month, she came back and told me that she had tried so hard to find replacements just like them, but they were hard to find. She gave me a pair that were the same shape, but these were crystal and probably cost $25-30 or so each at a department store. I tried to give them back to her asking her to return them, but she was so mortified that I would blame her and fire her and she refused to accept them. Fortunately it was in the fall and I added $50 to her Christmas tip.

Most of the good housekeepers I know value their customers and almost all of the ones that I use get their primary business and new customers from word of mouth referrals. Not only is a housekeeper likely to lose a position if she steals, but she will lose future business.

As for the loss, I'm of the opposite camp. I think losing an entire jewelry box is much more likely to be owner carelessness than theft. An owner can't help but suspect theft when an entire jewelry box goes missing and a housecleaner, especially one that has been with the family for 3 years is unlikely to be so stupid as to not realize that she would be the first suspect.