Affair, told his wife and now he's back

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
i find responses to be pretty similar. there is always the very loud cheated on group that comes here apparently for the sole reason to 1) shame cheaters 2) agitate that cheaters' partners be told about cheating in all and very circumstance. then there are other people who actually approach topics with the goal to help OP, whoever that is and whatever issue she has. their advice might be vary from topic to topic.

1) Cheaters SHOULD be shamed. They are human garbage.
2) Cheaters partners SHOULD always be told. They're usually the last to know.

There is no reason to want to "help" the OP whose issue is she is a cheater who has caused other people a world of pain and now wants to escape the situation she caused without any further pain to herself. She is a disgusting human being.

Are you authorized or somehow qualified to pronounce judgement on other humans? "For the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. " Right?

That verse does not prohibit judgment. It says do not judge hypocritically. As I am not a cheater, it is not at all hypocritical of me to say cheaters are human garbage who are disgusting. Right? Right!

NP, actually that verse does not parse out sins the way you are presenting it here. It's not okay to call someone a disgusting human being because they are an adulterer and you are not. You have your own sins that may not be on the front page right now, but the fact that you have them means you have no room to talk. Counsel others, pray for them, try to guide them to the right path, sure. But calling them human garbage? Nope, that's not your role, no matter what sins you aren't committing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
NP, actually that verse does not parse out sins the way you are presenting it here. It's not okay to call someone a disgusting human being because they are an adulterer and you are not. You have your own sins that may not be on the front page right now, but the fact that you have them means you have no room to talk. Counsel others, pray for them, try to guide them to the right path, sure. But calling them human garbage? Nope, that's not your role, no matter what sins you aren't committing.

Yes, it does parse that way. We are allowed - in fact, commanded - to rebuke sinners. For example,

1 Timothy 5:20 - Them that sin rebuke before all, that others also may fear.

2 Timothy 4:2 - Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine.

2 Timothy 3:16 - All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness.

It is obviously stupid to claim that only people who are completely sinless may judge or rebuke others, because nobody is completely sinless. Of course, immoral Leftists want a world in which no sins can be rebuked, but your efforts to twist the Bible to support that goal are false and will fail.

[Anonymous]

OP, were you surprised when he didn't leave? No judgment, honestly curious. I agree with telling him you can no longer talk to him as long as he's married. He's taking up too much space in your head and doesn't want you to move on. You do not deserve a life of misery because of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, were you surprised when he didn't leave? No judgment, honestly curious. I agree with telling him you can no longer talk to him as long as he's married. He's taking up too much space in your head and doesn't want you to move on. You do not deserve a life of misery because of this.

OP here, no I wasn't surprised. I knew from the start that we both didn't have it in us to leave. There are young kids involved on both sides, established lives, mutual friends. I didn't leave my marriage for him, I left because I didn't want to be married anymore, it was that simple. If I was going to go as far as cheat on my husband, it meant that I didn't want to be married to him, that's just it.

Telling my husband is not something I regret but telling his wife is the biggest mistake that I have ever made, I lost my senses that day and will forever regret that single action.

I don't regret the affair, it was 3 years together, very involved with us meeting and spending time with each other's children. We "house shopped" together, we discussed finances, even saw an accountant a couple of times. Lots of traveling together, etc. I do consider him a kindred spirit that would have been an ideal mate in another lifetime.

It's hard to stop talking to him.

[Anonymous]

Oh my god, you are the worst.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, were you surprised when he didn't leave? No judgment, honestly curious. I agree with telling him you can no longer talk to him as long as he's married. He's taking up too much space in your head and doesn't want you to move on. You do not deserve a life of misery because of this.

OP here, no I wasn't surprised. I knew from the start that we both didn't have it in us to leave. There are young kids involved on both sides, established lives, mutual friends. I didn't leave my marriage for him, I left because I didn't want to be married anymore, it was that simple. If I was going to go as far as cheat on my husband, it meant that I didn't want to be married to him, that's just it.

Telling my husband is not something I regret but telling his wife is the biggest mistake that I have ever made, I lost my senses that day and will forever regret that single action.

I don't regret the affair, it was 3 years together, very involved with us meeting and spending time with each other's children. We "house shopped" together, we discussed finances, even saw an accountant a couple of times. Lots of traveling together, etc. I do consider him a kindred spirit that would have been an ideal mate in another lifetime.

It's hard to stop talking to him.

You have to stop talking to him. If you want to have a normal relationship with a single man you're going to have to cut off affair guy. You're going from being married and having an affair to being the other woman, single with a married man. It's easily one of the loneliest, most self esteem crushing relationships to be in. You could waste years of your life that way. Just cut him off. Yes, it will suck, but you'll be better off in the end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, were you surprised when he didn't leave? No judgment, honestly curious. I agree with telling him you can no longer talk to him as long as he's married. He's taking up too much space in your head and doesn't want you to move on. You do not deserve a life of misery because of this.

OP here, no I wasn't surprised. I knew from the start that we both didn't have it in us to leave. There are young kids involved on both sides, established lives, mutual friends. I didn't leave my marriage for him, I left because I didn't want to be married anymore, it was that simple. If I was going to go as far as cheat on my husband, it meant that I didn't want to be married to him, that's just it.

Telling my husband is not something I regret but telling his wife is the biggest mistake that I have ever made, I lost my senses that day and will forever regret that single action.

I don't regret the affair, it was 3 years together, very involved with us meeting and spending time with each other's children. We "house shopped" together, we discussed finances, even saw an accountant a couple of times. Lots of traveling together, etc. I do consider him a kindred spirit that would have been an ideal mate in another lifetime.

It's hard to stop talking to him.

How come leaving is off the table for him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Telling my husband is not something I regret but telling his wife is the biggest mistake that I have ever made, I lost my senses that day and will forever regret that single action.

You are dangerous, impulsive, selfish, and reckless. I still wish your AP would post. I'm more interested in asking him why he goes for the crazy type who will destroy his marriage again, or worse, given the chance.

[Anonymous]

I really can't believe that this guy came back after four months. After your told his wife.

What in the world was he working out in his head that he reached back out? OP - did you he tell you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Telling my husband is not something I regret but telling his wife is the biggest mistake that I have ever made, I lost my senses that day and will forever regret that single action.

You are dangerous, impulsive, selfish, and reckless. I still wish your AP would post. I'm more interested in asking him why he goes for the crazy type who will destroy his marriage again, or worse, given the chance.

oh quit the hysteria, he destroyed his own marriage. So obviously he must be crazy too. Only a crazy man would go back to a woman that crazy. It takes one to know one.

[Anonymous]

I believe that something is wrong with the relationship if a man/wife cheats.
So I am not the one to judge. Rarely is there such a thing as an innocent one who has to suffer because of the other woman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
NP, actually that verse does not parse out sins the way you are presenting it here. It's not okay to call someone a disgusting human being because they are an adulterer and you are not. You have your own sins that may not be on the front page right now, but the fact that you have them means you have no room to talk. Counsel others, pray for them, try to guide them to the right path, sure. But calling them human garbage? Nope, that's not your role, no matter what sins you aren't committing.

Yes, it does parse that way. We are allowed - in fact, commanded - to rebuke sinners. For example,

1 Timothy 5:20 - Them that sin rebuke before all, that others also may fear.

2 Timothy 4:2 - Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine.

2 Timothy 3:16 - All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness.

It is obviously stupid to claim that only people who are completely sinless may judge or rebuke others, because nobody is completely sinless. Of course, immoral Leftists want a world in which no sins can be rebuked, but your efforts to twist the Bible to support that goal are false and will fail.

No. I didn't start quoting the Bible but I stepped in to correct in when you twisted it. It is not your job to do what you are doing. You should be trying to help the "sinner", not behave as you are behaving. And you know it, but that part isn't convenient.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
NP, actually that verse does not parse out sins the way you are presenting it here. It's not okay to call someone a disgusting human being because they are an adulterer and you are not. You have your own sins that may not be on the front page right now, but the fact that you have them means you have no room to talk. Counsel others, pray for them, try to guide them to the right path, sure. But calling them human garbage? Nope, that's not your role, no matter what sins you aren't committing.

Yes, it does parse that way. We are allowed - in fact, commanded - to rebuke sinners. For example,

1 Timothy 5:20 - Them that sin rebuke before all, that others also may fear.

2 Timothy 4:2 - Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine.

2 Timothy 3:16 - All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness.

It is obviously stupid to claim that only people who are completely sinless may judge or rebuke others, because nobody is completely sinless. Of course, immoral Leftists want a world in which no sins can be rebuked, but your efforts to twist the Bible to support that goal are false and will fail.

No. I didn't start quoting the Bible but I stepped in to correct in when you twisted it. It is not your job to do what you are doing. You should be trying to help the "sinner", not behave as you are behaving. And you know it, but that part isn't convenient.

Even children know that the bible was inspired & written by men who want to wield power over the powerless. I won't fall for that. Doesn't make infidelity right, but, I can empathize instead of judging.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
NP, actually that verse does not parse out sins the way you are presenting it here. It's not okay to call someone a disgusting human being because they are an adulterer and you are not. You have your own sins that may not be on the front page right now, but the fact that you have them means you have no room to talk. Counsel others, pray for them, try to guide them to the right path, sure. But calling them human garbage? Nope, that's not your role, no matter what sins you aren't committing.

Yes, it does parse that way. We are allowed - in fact, commanded - to rebuke sinners. For example,

1 Timothy 5:20 - Them that sin rebuke before all, that others also may fear.

2 Timothy 4:2 - Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine.

2 Timothy 3:16 - All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness.

It is obviously stupid to claim that only people who are completely sinless may judge or rebuke others, because nobody is completely sinless. Of course, immoral Leftists want a world in which no sins can be rebuked, but your efforts to twist the Bible to support that goal are false and will fail.

No. I didn't start quoting the Bible but I stepped in to correct in when you twisted it. It is not your job to do what you are doing. You should be trying to help the "sinner", not behave as you are behaving. And you know it, but that part isn't convenient.

Even children know that the bible was inspired & written by men who want to wield power over the powerless. I won't fall for that. Doesn't make infidelity right, but, [/b]I can empathize instead of judging[b].

+1
Agree completely

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
NP, actually that verse does not parse out sins the way you are presenting it here. It's not okay to call someone a disgusting human being because they are an adulterer and you are not. You have your own sins that may not be on the front page right now, but the fact that you have them means you have no room to talk. Counsel others, pray for them, try to guide them to the right path, sure. But calling them human garbage? Nope, that's not your role, no matter what sins you aren't committing.

Yes, it does parse that way. We are allowed - in fact, commanded - to rebuke sinners. For example,

1 Timothy 5:20 - Them that sin rebuke before all, that others also may fear.

2 Timothy 4:2 - Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine.

2 Timothy 3:16 - All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness.

It is obviously stupid to claim that only people who are completely sinless may judge or rebuke others, because nobody is completely sinless. Of course,
immoral Leftists want a world in which no sins can be rebuked, but your efforts to twist the Bible to support that goal are false and will fail.

Omg, I can't even imagine what you are like in bed. Are you completely alone?