Bringing your own toys to the playground-what's the etiquette?

[Anonymous]

Of course they can bring their own toy. No, they don't have to share while they are actively playing with it. No one ever has to share (whether they are playing with it or not)...but offering turns is always nice and appreciated. To little kids, babies are annoying and can ruin games because they want to grab everything and 'get in the way'. The father was there to play with his kid, not yours. That's just kind of how it goes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Obviously I know there's no obligation to play with my kid. My question is more about whether it is annoying when people bring their own toys to a toddler playground with the expectation that it is not going to be a distraction/object of interest for other kids. For example, there are plenty of times that I have thought about bringing a toy to story time for my child, but I've always refrained because I don't want the toy to be an object of contention.

Okay...so when you're at Starbucks, and another person is using their laptop, does this mean you get to use it too? Or do you get so distracted by said laptop that you can't order your coffee or hold a conversation with someone? Of course not, because you have learned that other people have their things and you have yours. That a life lesson.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Obviously I know there's no obligation to play with my kid. My question is more about whether it is annoying when people bring their own toys to a toddler playground with the expectation that it is not going to be a distraction/object of interest for other kids. For example, there are plenty of times that I have thought about bringing a toy to story time for my child, but I've always refrained because I don't want the toy to be an object of contention.

Okay...so when you're at Starbucks, and another person is using their laptop, does this mean you get to use it too? Or do you get so distracted by said laptop that you can't order your coffee or hold a conversation with someone? Of course not, because you have learned that other people have their things and you have yours. That a life lesson.

She's also not 18 months old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not a frisbee. It is an Air Hog. OP reposted.

Air hog was just a hypothetical.

Fisbee was the hypothetical.

OP posted later and said it was a helicopter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course they can bring their own toy. No, they don't have to share while they are actively playing with it. No one ever has to share (whether they are playing with it or not)...but offering turns is always nice and appreciated. To little kids, babies are annoying and can ruin games because they want to grab everything and 'get in the way'. The father was there to play with his kid, not yours. That's just kind of how it goes.

+1. Totally shocked at the number of people thinking the father was wrong. Unless the frisbee was coming close enough to hit a kid on the playground equipment, it was just a nice outing. There is also nothing wrong with a 3 year old not wanting to include a much younger child. Maybe this was their outing because they have a younger sibling at home. To a 3 year old an 18 month old is a baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Obviously I know there's no obligation to play with my kid. My question is more about whether it is annoying when people bring their own toys to a toddler playground with the expectation that it is not going to be a distraction/object of interest for other kids. For example, there are plenty of times that I have thought about bringing a toy to story time for my child, but I've always refrained because I don't want the toy to be an object of contention.

Okay...so when you're at Starbucks, and another person is using their laptop, does this mean you get to use it too? Or do you get so distracted by said laptop that you can't order your coffee or hold a conversation with someone? Of course not, because you have learned that other people have their things and you have yours. That a life lesson.

Stupid post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1-they shouldn't have brought it. The playground is an oversized tot lot, not really a "park". Might have been more convenient for them to come there than the park, but bringing your private toys to a play area for very young kids is annoying bc young kids are going to be interested.

Dear OP,

If the tot lot is for 0-3 and you think the kid is around 3 than they are allowed to be there. It is a public park then people are allowed to play with their own toys and not want to share. Think of it this way, what if you have two children and they brought a checkers or chess set and only want to play with each other at the park. Would you deny them that fun?

We have "shared" our scooter once and the kid broke it on purpose! Unfortunately, my brother said sure go ahead and play with it when the kid asked to play with my daughter's scooter. I watched her break it and was too shocked to say anything. Last time we said yes to sharing our personal scooter.

I know kids are different but how would you like it if you had a new iphone and someone demanded it because you ought to share. Admit it, you were wrong and you should not be angry with the Dad for doing something completely normal with his kid. Your kid is your problem. Entertain him yourself and bring your own toy!

You just proved my whole point. Don't bring your personal stuff to the playground. I get that in your case a scooter or bike is different because it is a mode of transportation, but I think bringing toys into the mix just messes up the playground dynamics and creates issues when there should be no issues all. This is especially true in a tot lot for very young kids who are interested in absolutely everything. Fwiw I don't think the dad should have babysat or entertained my kid. I was actively playing with him and continued to do so when the frisbee arrived.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Someone brought their frisbee thing to our small but adequate 0-3 playground. I was there with my 18 mo-we were by ourselves initially. I was happy when another kid showed up with his dad. In fact, I know the kid. He's threeish. He and his dad started playing frisbee. Of course my DS was interested and once he saw them, he didn't want to go down the slides etc. The dad wasn't particularly welcoming, and neither was the kid. As soon as my son stopped what he was doing to watch them, the kid shrieked "no baby no baby!" Every time my son made a move in the direction of the frisbee, I had to grab him and redirect him bc given the reaction when we LOOKED at the kid, I can't imagine the reaction if my son had actually made physical contact with the frisbee. It got especially annoying because I took him to the other side of the playground equipment (and was literally carrying up the steps to the slides because he really wasn't interested and just wanted to play with the other kid), but their frisbee kept landing near us, and I had to correct DS 2-3 times. "Larlo is playing with that toy". "That's Larlo's toy" etc. The only other time I experienced this was at a larger playground, and a dad brought his son and a soccer ball. They were kicking it around, but several kids immediately asked to play, and the dad graciously made a ball game for all of them instead of just trying to play with his son. So anyway, what's the etiquette? I found it quite annoying that this pair showed up to a toddler playground with their own toy. We ended up leaving the playground early because it was such a hassle to keep distracting my kid from their game.

In your shoes, I would have allowed my kid to watch the bigger kid.

Why not??
Your kid wants that toy? Must your kid have everything he wants??
That's what happened to Sam Ellis. He hadn't heard the simple "no" word when he was a tot like your boy.

I don't know who Sam Ellis is. Anyway if you read my post, you will see I said no several times, told him it was the other child's toy, redirected him, and physically moved him to the other side of the play equipment. I have no issue telling my child "no". However, it was annoying to have to do it in this context (although I still did it).

Parenting 101:
Never repeat "no" or you condition or kid to not hear you the first time.

You *need* to google Sam Ellis of North Potomac.
He had also been conditioned by his parents to ignore the word no.

Op here I just googled Sam Ellis and you are a sick and disgusting person and linking something completely inappropriate to my 18 month old child. I'll kindly ask that you refrain from posting such things on this and other threads. I'm sorry I bothered to respond to you and will not do so again.

Mark my works. Allowing children not to "remember" (aka ignore) when his parents have said "no" can have consequences. It's totally unfortunate, but 100% true.

Maybe you're caught up in the emotions of the Emily Doe thing or something, but an 18 month old can't be expected to understand or respond to No every time. Especially if the only social interaction they know is daycare where the toys are for everyone.

FYI, many adults don't seem to "understand or respond to no."
Perhaps if their parents had begun to teach them when they were tots, the world would be a better place.

[Anonymous]

Pray tell us OP what do you think would happen if you told this Dad he shouldn't bring toys for his kid to play with at the playground? Who is going to enforce this law? You are still in the wrong. You can't control other people especially when they did nothing wrong. Yes, it stinks for you but, the world does not revolve around you or your 18 month old...sorry!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pray tell us OP what do you think would happen if you told this Dad he shouldn't bring toys for his kid to play with at the playground? Who is going to enforce this law? You are still in the wrong. You can't control other people especially when they did nothing wrong. Yes, it stinks for you but, the world does not revolve around you or your 18 month old...sorry!

Pray tell me PP what I did wrong? I just think it's annoying. You don't have to be sorry.

[Anonymous]

Be sure and tell us all the juicy details of how you got your ass-whupped when you tried to tell someone that they can't bring personal stuff to the playground OP...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Be sure and tell us all the juicy details of how you got your ass-whupped when you tried to tell someone that they can't bring personal stuff to the playground OP...

Why would I bring it up to the father? It was just an annoying event that I posted about. Not every annoying event in one's life requires action and confrontation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - DCUM is NEVER unanimous, and in this case, it is. You are wrong. That dad had EVERY right to bring the frisbee to the tot lot.

Um, no, it is not unanimous in this case.

Of course the dad has every right to bring a toy to a playground, but he should come with the expectation that other kids are going to be interested in it and set that expectation with his kid, too. His kid is old enough to learn about social interaction in a public place; an 18 month old, not so much.

It's weird and unsettling to me that so many here believe that a basic decency like generosity - about a $5 toy, no less - is "wrong."

[Anonymous]

Geez OP, really? Your kid is barely old enough to walk and now you want to dictate how all other families use the "tot lot"?

Public playgrounds are, by definition, public. If you can't figure out how to manage your own kid yet, take a parenting class - don't demand the world stop any activity that might be inconvenient for you or your child.

BTW I'd love to know what playground is restricted to the 0-3 set as you say. Most of the younger kid play areas I've seen in the MoCo/DC area are geared toward 5 and under.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Geez OP, really? Your kid is barely old enough to walk and now you want to dictate how all other families use the "tot lot"?

Public playgrounds are, by definition, public. If you can't figure out how to manage your own kid yet, take a parenting class - don't demand the world stop any activity that might be inconvenient for you or your child.

BTW I'd love to know what playground is restricted to the 0-3 set as you say. Most of the younger kid play areas I've seen in the MoCo/DC area are geared toward 5 and under.

It's a tot lot in our housing complex, curious George.