Bringing your own toys to the playground-what's the etiquette?

[Anonymous]

A toy that is being actively played with (like the frisbee here) does not need to be shared. A toy whose owner is not actively playing with it does need to be shared. So if you bring a ride-on toy and your son gets tired of playing with it, he needs to be okay if someone else touches it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I take toys to the park but I warn 3 year old dd that other kids might want to look at and play with her toys and I always encourage her to share for a reasonable time. I've noticed this is how other families operate around here too. If she wants to take a toy that I know she won't let others touch, I say no.

But again, people don't know the full story. Maybe there's a new baby at home and this was a new, special "big boy" toy that he got to go burn off some energy with dad while mom rested at home. A kid at that age is not necessarily equipped to share, especially with another baby, when his whole life is changing at home.

Or maybe that's not the case at all, but it shouldn't matter. It's a public playground, and ultimately, people can use it as they see fit (as long as it's safe) even if they're annoying others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone brought their frisbee thing to our small but adequate 0-3 playground. I was there with my 18 mo-we were by ourselves initially. I was happy when another kid showed up with his dad. In fact, I know the kid. He's threeish. He and his dad started playing frisbee. Of course my DS was interested and once he saw them, he didn't want to go down the slides etc. The dad wasn't particularly welcoming, and neither was the kid. As soon as my son stopped what he was doing to watch them, the kid shrieked "no baby no baby!" Every time my son made a move in the direction of the frisbee, I had to grab him and redirect him bc given the reaction when we LOOKED at the kid, I can't imagine the reaction if my son had actually made physical contact with the frisbee. It got especially annoying because I took him to the other side of the playground equipment (and was literally carrying up the steps to the slides because he really wasn't interested and just wanted to play with the other kid), but their frisbee kept landing near us, and I had to correct DS 2-3 times. "Larlo is playing with that toy". "That's Larlo's toy" etc. The only other time I experienced this was at a larger playground, and a dad brought his son and a soccer ball. They were kicking it around, but several kids immediately asked to play, and the dad graciously made a ball game for all of them instead of just trying to play with his son. So anyway, what's the etiquette? I found it quite annoying that this pair showed up to a toddler playground with their own toy. We ended up leaving the playground early because it was such a hassle to keep distracting my kid from their game.

In your shoes, I would have allowed my kid to watch the bigger kid.

Why not??
Your kid wants that toy? Must your kid have everything he wants??
That's what happened to Sam Ellis. He hadn't heard the simple "no" word when he was a tot like your boy.

I don't know who Sam Ellis is. Anyway if you read my post, you will see I said no several times, told him it was the other child's toy, redirected him, and physically moved him to the other side of the play equipment. I have no issue telling my child "no". However, it was annoying to have to do it in this context (although I still did it).

[Anonymous]

I'm going to back up OP here a bit (though i'll assume some info).

If dad brought this frisbee to a small playground area (compared with a larger open park space), AND dad knows that he has the type of kid (like, maybe 50% of kids) that freaks when other kids even look at their toy, then dad and the 3 year old are partially at fault for this situation. Having a kid who does NOT freak out about other kids playing with his toys, i have always found it super annoying when other kids bring flashy stuff to the park and then do freak out about my kid touching their toy (esp because my kid at that age didn't even understand the concept of crazy possessiveness, given that he was not prone to it). My kid as a 2-3 year old was all about sharing, what's yours is mine etc because he just didn't care that much. SO it was super frustrating for us to encounter other kids who insisted on bringing their toys to the park but did not share this mentality. If you kid can't bear to have another kid come near him and his toy, it's your responsibility to keep the toy at home because your kid is the one with the problem.

That said, if the OP's situation played out at a field park where they were a bit removed from other kids, then totally fine. But it sounds like they were in a small space with other kids right around them.

I'm with OP. This isn't about OP's kid being the center of the universe. This is about the other kid being the center of the universe, because how dare anyone look at his toy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone brought their frisbee thing to our small but adequate 0-3 playground. I was there with my 18 mo-we were by ourselves initially. I was happy when another kid showed up with his dad. In fact, I know the kid. He's threeish. He and his dad started playing frisbee. Of course my DS was interested and once he saw them, he didn't want to go down the slides etc. The dad wasn't particularly welcoming, and neither was the kid. As soon as my son stopped what he was doing to watch them, the kid shrieked "no baby no baby!" Every time my son made a move in the direction of the frisbee, I had to grab him and redirect him bc given the reaction when we LOOKED at the kid, I can't imagine the reaction if my son had actually made physical contact with the frisbee. It got especially annoying because I took him to the other side of the playground equipment (and was literally carrying up the steps to the slides because he really wasn't interested and just wanted to play with the other kid), but their frisbee kept landing near us, and I had to correct DS 2-3 times. "Larlo is playing with that toy". "That's Larlo's toy" etc. The only other time I experienced this was at a larger playground, and a dad brought his son and a soccer ball. They were kicking it around, but several kids immediately asked to play, and the dad graciously made a ball game for all of them instead of just trying to play with his son. So anyway, what's the etiquette? I found it quite annoying that this pair showed up to a toddler playground with their own toy. We ended up leaving the playground early because it was such a hassle to keep distracting my kid from their game.

In your shoes, I would have allowed my kid to watch the bigger kid.

Why not??
Your kid wants that toy? Must your kid have everything he wants??
That's what happened to Sam Ellis. He hadn't heard the simple "no" word when he was a tot like your boy.

I don't know who Sam Ellis is. Anyway if you read my post, you will see I said no several times, told him it was the other child's toy, redirected him, and physically moved him to the other side of the play equipment. I have no issue telling my child "no". However, it was annoying to have to do it in this context (although I still did it).

Parenting 101:
Never repeat "no" or you condition or kid to not hear you the first time.

You *need* to google Sam Ellis of North Potomac.
He had also been conditioned by his parents to ignore the word no.

[Anonymous]

This is horrible to think in this day and age we still have to suffer the annoying idiosyncrasies of idiots who have the audacity to focus solely on having fun with their child and give no thought or consideration whatsoever to ensuring that other's children are having fun too. How DARE he!!
I'm with you OP this senseless selfishness has got to stop I mean your child is the alpha and the omega, the fate of our very future as a society rests solely in your child's hands why if rude parents like that frisbee dad had it their way they'd never give your child a second thought when preparing to enjoy a lovely summer day with their own bundle of joy.
Sigh...this needs to stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone brought their frisbee thing to our small but adequate 0-3 playground. I was there with my 18 mo-we were by ourselves initially. I was happy when another kid showed up with his dad. In fact, I know the kid. He's threeish. He and his dad started playing frisbee. Of course my DS was interested and once he saw them, he didn't want to go down the slides etc. The dad wasn't particularly welcoming, and neither was the kid. As soon as my son stopped what he was doing to watch them, the kid shrieked "no baby no baby!" Every time my son made a move in the direction of the frisbee, I had to grab him and redirect him bc given the reaction when we LOOKED at the kid, I can't imagine the reaction if my son had actually made physical contact with the frisbee. It got especially annoying because I took him to the other side of the playground equipment (and was literally carrying up the steps to the slides because he really wasn't interested and just wanted to play with the other kid), but their frisbee kept landing near us, and I had to correct DS 2-3 times. "Larlo is playing with that toy". "That's Larlo's toy" etc. The only other time I experienced this was at a larger playground, and a dad brought his son and a soccer ball. They were kicking it around, but several kids immediately asked to play, and the dad graciously made a ball game for all of them instead of just trying to play with his son. So anyway, what's the etiquette? I found it quite annoying that this pair showed up to a toddler playground with their own toy. We ended up leaving the playground early because it was such a hassle to keep distracting my kid from their game.

In your shoes, I would have allowed my kid to watch the bigger kid.

Why not??
Your kid wants that toy? Must your kid have everything he wants??
That's what happened to Sam Ellis. He hadn't heard the simple "no" word when he was a tot like your boy.

I don't know who Sam Ellis is. Anyway if you read my post, you will see I said no several times, told him it was the other child's toy, redirected him, and physically moved him to the other side of the play equipment. I have no issue telling my child "no". However, it was annoying to have to do it in this context (although I still did it).

Parenting 101:
Never repeat "no" or you condition or kid to not hear you the first time.

You *need* to google Sam Ellis of North Potomac.
He had also been conditioned by his parents to ignore the word no.

The OP's 18 month old is going to grow up to be a drunk driver because at 18 months old he doesn't remember everything the first time? You're nuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone brought their frisbee thing to our small but adequate 0-3 playground. I was there with my 18 mo-we were by ourselves initially. I was happy when another kid showed up with his dad. In fact, I know the kid. He's threeish. He and his dad started playing frisbee. Of course my DS was interested and once he saw them, he didn't want to go down the slides etc. The dad wasn't particularly welcoming, and neither was the kid. As soon as my son stopped what he was doing to watch them, the kid shrieked "no baby no baby!" Every time my son made a move in the direction of the frisbee, I had to grab him and redirect him bc given the reaction when we LOOKED at the kid, I can't imagine the reaction if my son had actually made physical contact with the frisbee. It got especially annoying because I took him to the other side of the playground equipment (and was literally carrying up the steps to the slides because he really wasn't interested and just wanted to play with the other kid), but their frisbee kept landing near us, and I had to correct DS 2-3 times. "Larlo is playing with that toy". "That's Larlo's toy" etc. The only other time I experienced this was at a larger playground, and a dad brought his son and a soccer ball. They were kicking it around, but several kids immediately asked to play, and the dad graciously made a ball game for all of them instead of just trying to play with his son. So anyway, what's the etiquette? I found it quite annoying that this pair showed up to a toddler playground with their own toy. We ended up leaving the playground early because it was such a hassle to keep distracting my kid from their game.

In your shoes, I would have allowed my kid to watch the bigger kid.

Why not??
Your kid wants that toy? Must your kid have everything he wants??
That's what happened to Sam Ellis. He hadn't heard the simple "no" word when he was a tot like your boy.

I don't know who Sam Ellis is. Anyway if you read my post, you will see I said no several times, told him it was the other child's toy, redirected him, and physically moved him to the other side of the play equipment. I have no issue telling my child "no". However, it was annoying to have to do it in this context (although I still did it).

Parenting 101:
Never repeat "no" or you condition or kid to not hear you the first time.

You *need* to google Sam Ellis of North Potomac.
He had also been conditioned by his parents to ignore the word no.

Op here I just googled Sam Ellis and you are a sick and disgusting person and linking something completely inappropriate to my 18 month old child. I'll kindly ask that you refrain from posting such things on this and other threads. I'm sorry I bothered to respond to you and will not do so again.

[Anonymous]

I can't understand why so many of the responses here are outright nasty, but it explains a lot about the dearth of basic human decency in this area.

Or is this another one of those things where a dad gets credit for parenting no matter what he does. Truth is, the playground is a public place and other kids wanting to look at or play with your toys is a fact of tot life.

Agree with OP that it's annoying when other parents don't get this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't understand why so many of the responses here are outright nasty, but it explains a lot about the dearth of basic human decency in this area.

Or is this another one of those things where a dad gets credit for parenting no matter what he does. Truth is, the playground is a public place and other kids wanting to look at or play with your toys is a fact of tot life.

Agree with OP that it's annoying when other parents don't get this.

It's the dad credit thing-imagine if a mom was playing frisbee-all the pps would be annoyed. Dad gets credit cause it's soooo sweet to see dad tossing the frisbee with his kid, and his cluelessness is excused.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone brought their frisbee thing to our small but adequate 0-3 playground. I was there with my 18 mo-we were by ourselves initially. I was happy when another kid showed up with his dad. In fact, I know the kid. He's threeish. He and his dad started playing frisbee. Of course my DS was interested and once he saw them, he didn't want to go down the slides etc. The dad wasn't particularly welcoming, and neither was the kid. As soon as my son stopped what he was doing to watch them, the kid shrieked "no baby no baby!" Every time my son made a move in the direction of the frisbee, I had to grab him and redirect him bc given the reaction when we LOOKED at the kid, I can't imagine the reaction if my son had actually made physical contact with the frisbee. It got especially annoying because I took him to the other side of the playground equipment (and was literally carrying up the steps to the slides because he really wasn't interested and just wanted to play with the other kid), but their frisbee kept landing near us, and I had to correct DS 2-3 times. "Larlo is playing with that toy". "That's Larlo's toy" etc. The only other time I experienced this was at a larger playground, and a dad brought his son and a soccer ball. They were kicking it around, but several kids immediately asked to play, and the dad graciously made a ball game for all of them instead of just trying to play with his son. So anyway, what's the etiquette? I found it quite annoying that this pair showed up to a toddler playground with their own toy. We ended up leaving the playground early because it was such a hassle to keep distracting my kid from their game.

In your shoes, I would have allowed my kid to watch the bigger kid.

Why not??
Your kid wants that toy? Must your kid have everything he wants??
That's what happened to Sam Ellis. He hadn't heard the simple "no" word when he was a tot like your boy.

I don't know who Sam Ellis is. Anyway if you read my post, you will see I said no several times, told him it was the other child's toy, redirected him, and physically moved him to the other side of the play equipment. I have no issue telling my child "no". However, it was annoying to have to do it in this context (although I still did it).

Parenting 101:
Never repeat "no" or you condition or kid to not hear you the first time.

You *need* to google Sam Ellis of North Potomac.
He had also been conditioned by his parents to ignore the word no.

Op here I just googled Sam Ellis and you are a sick and disgusting person and linking something completely inappropriate to my 18 month old child. I'll kindly ask that you refrain from posting such things on this and other threads. I'm sorry I bothered to respond to you and will not do so again.

Mark my works. Allowing children not to "remember" (aka ignore) when his parents have said "no" can have consequences. It's totally unfortunate, but 100% true.

[Anonymous]

Wait I'm confused. Where was the dad supposed to play frisbee with his kid? Most of us don't have huge (or any) backyards. A public park seems like the perfect place, and not sure why you think a "private toy" needs to be shared in a public setting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait I'm confused. Where was the dad supposed to play frisbee with his kid? Most of us don't have huge (or any) backyards. A public park seems like the perfect place, and not sure why you think a "private toy" needs to be shared in a public setting.

Exactly. -10:04

[Anonymous]

I think you people are missing the essence of her question. He's how I read it: a father and son were playing with a frisbee in a playground where it's customary to let kids roam and play. If OP's kid got anywhere even close to the other kid, the frisbee-playing kid yelled at the 18 month old. I don't think OP wanted the other kid to play with hers. I think she wanted her kid to be able to use the playground without being yelled at by this kid. If it's a huge playground, then I think it's reasonable to say that OP could be expected to keep her kid occupied and away from this pair. But if this is a small playground, I think it's a douche-bag move on the father's part to expect other kids to stay away, especially considering how much room you need to play frisbee. My opinion is that those types of toys are welcome at the playground IF there is a lot of room.

[Anonymous]

Bring your own toys. We don't share and teach our child that. When we did they got broken or didn't get returned. Why do you think someone should share their property? I find that strange. A 3 year old isn't going to want to play with an 18 month old.