Bringing your own toys to the playground-what's the etiquette?

[Anonymous]

It is not a frisbee. It is an Air Hog. OP reposted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you people are missing the essence of her question. He's how I read it: a father and son were playing with a frisbee in a playground where it's customary to let kids roam and play. If OP's kid got anywhere even close to the other kid, the frisbee-playing kid yelled at the 18 month old. I don't think OP wanted the other kid to play with hers. I think she wanted her kid to be able to use the playground without being yelled at by this kid. If it's a huge playground, then I think it's reasonable to say that OP could be expected to keep her kid occupied and away from this pair. But if this is a small playground, I think it's a douche-bag move on the father's part to expect other kids to stay away, especially considering how much room you need to play frisbee. My opinion is that those types of toys are welcome at the playground IF there is a lot of room.

Now you're making excuses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't understand why so many of the responses here are outright nasty, but it explains a lot about the dearth of basic human decency in this area.

Or is this another one of those things where a dad gets credit for parenting no matter what he does. Truth is, the playground is a public place and other kids wanting to look at or play with your toys is a fact of tot life.

Agree with OP that it's annoying when other parents don't get this.

It's the dad credit thing-imagine if a mom was playing frisbee-all the pps would be annoyed. Dad gets credit cause it's soooo sweet to see dad tossing the frisbee with his kid, and his cluelessness is excused.

Your attempt to shoehorn this into a gender paradigm is unavailing. Better luck with your next try!

[Anonymous]

Do you think the father and son should've invited your son to play? That's ridiculous. It's a public park. You did the right thing by redircting your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is not a frisbee. It is an Air Hog. OP reposted.

Air hog was just a hypothetical.

[Anonymous]

The dad should have told the kid to quit screeching about your DS but aside from that he is well within the boundaries of etiquette to bring a frisbee to the playground to play with his son and not include babies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you think the father and son should've invited your son to play? That's ridiculous. It's a public park. You did the right thing by redircting your child.

I think:
1-they shouldn't have brought it. The playground is an oversized tot lot, not really a "park". Might have been more convenient for them to come there than the park, but bringing your private toys to a play area for very young kids is annoying bc young kids are going to be interested.
2-the dad should have said SOMETHING when his kid shrieked "no baby!" whenever my kid looked at him. It was rude and set up an awkward dynamic.
3-the dad could have extended a nice gesture when their damn frisbee kept landing at my son's feet even after I relocated us to the other side of the play equipment. He could have invited my son to get it and hand it back to them. He saw how interested my son was in it. That is what I would have done if my toy was a constant and obvious distraction to another child.

[Anonymous]

Op your second two points are valid but it's crazy to say he shouldn't have brought it, period. And you are really going to need to loosen up on that because when your kid is 6 you're going to be annoyed if some toddler mom is giving him dirty looks for bringing a ball to the playground to PLAY.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone brought their frisbee thing to our small but adequate 0-3 playground. I was there with my 18 mo-we were by ourselves initially. I was happy when another kid showed up with his dad. In fact, I know the kid. He's threeish. He and his dad started playing frisbee. Of course my DS was interested and once he saw them, he didn't want to go down the slides etc. The dad wasn't particularly welcoming, and neither was the kid. As soon as my son stopped what he was doing to watch them, the kid shrieked "no baby no baby!" Every time my son made a move in the direction of the frisbee, I had to grab him and redirect him bc given the reaction when we LOOKED at the kid, I can't imagine the reaction if my son had actually made physical contact with the frisbee. It got especially annoying because I took him to the other side of the playground equipment (and was literally carrying up the steps to the slides because he really wasn't interested and just wanted to play with the other kid), but their frisbee kept landing near us, and I had to correct DS 2-3 times. "Larlo is playing with that toy". "That's Larlo's toy" etc. The only other time I experienced this was at a larger playground, and a dad brought his son and a soccer ball. They were kicking it around, but several kids immediately asked to play, and the dad graciously made a ball game for all of them instead of just trying to play with his son. So anyway, what's the etiquette? I found it quite annoying that this pair showed up to a toddler playground with their own toy. We ended up leaving the playground early because it was such a hassle to keep distracting my kid from their game.

In your shoes, I would have allowed my kid to watch the bigger kid.

Why not??
Your kid wants that toy? Must your kid have everything he wants??
That's what happened to Sam Ellis. He hadn't heard the simple "no" word when he was a tot like your boy.

I don't know who Sam Ellis is. Anyway if you read my post, you will see I said no several times, told him it was the other child's toy, redirected him, and physically moved him to the other side of the play equipment. I have no issue telling my child "no". However, it was annoying to have to do it in this context (although I still did it).

Parenting 101:
Never repeat "no" or you condition or kid to not hear you the first time.

You *need* to google Sam Ellis of North Potomac.
He had also been conditioned by his parents to ignore the word no.

Op here I just googled Sam Ellis and you are a sick and disgusting person and linking something completely inappropriate to my 18 month old child. I'll kindly ask that you refrain from posting such things on this and other threads. I'm sorry I bothered to respond to you and will not do so again.

Mark my works. Allowing children not to "remember" (aka ignore) when his parents have said "no" can have consequences. It's totally unfortunate, but 100% true.

Maybe you're caught up in the emotions of the Emily Doe thing or something, but an 18 month old can't be expected to understand or respond to No every time. Especially if the only social interaction they know is daycare where the toys are for everyone.

[Anonymous]

OP- how do you feel about birthday parties or other gatherings at public parks? Do you feel like they should allow your child to eat food and have a goody bag?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you think the father and son should've invited your son to play? That's ridiculous. It's a public park. You did the right thing by redircting your child.

I think:
1-they shouldn't have brought it. The playground is an oversized tot lot, not really a "park". Might have been more convenient for them to come there than the park, but bringing your private toys to a play area for very young kids is annoying bc young kids are going to be interested.
2-the dad should have said SOMETHING when his kid shrieked "no baby!" whenever my kid looked at him. It was rude and set up an awkward dynamic.
3-the dad could have extended a nice gesture when their damn frisbee kept landing at my son's feet even after I relocated us to the other side of the play equipment. He could have invited my son to get it and hand it back to them. He saw how interested my son was in it. That is what I would have done if my toy was a constant and obvious distraction to another child.

Look, its your responsibility to play with your kid. Dad wanted 1-1 time with his kid. He didn't want to play babysitter to your kid. Your kid is significantly younger. He cannot play the same way a 3 year old can. If he brings toys, they are his, not community toys and certainly not yours. A 3 year old calling you child baby is normal. Maybe the child had developmental delays, such as speech and had limited speech and couldn't not be easily directed. You are setting up an impossible situation expecting dad to care for your child so you can sit back and be on your phone. Play with your own kid and leave the poor man alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP- how do you feel about birthday parties or other gatherings at public parks? Do you feel like they should allow your child to eat food and have a goody bag?

They should be invited. OP may want to keep a bunch of gifts in the trunk in case gifts are expected.

[Anonymous]

1-they shouldn't have brought it. The playground is an oversized tot lot, not really a "park". Might have been more convenient for them to come there than the park, but bringing your private toys to a play area for very young kids is annoying bc young kids are going to be interested.

Dear OP,

If the tot lot is for 0-3 and you think the kid is around 3 than they are allowed to be there. It is a public park then people are allowed to play with their own toys and not want to share. Think of it this way, what if you have two children and they brought a checkers or chess set and only want to play with each other at the park. Would you deny them that fun?

We have "shared" our scooter once and the kid broke it on purpose! Unfortunately, my brother said sure go ahead and play with it when the kid asked to play with my daughter's scooter. I watched her break it and was too shocked to say anything. Last time we said yes to sharing our personal scooter.

I know kids are different but how would you like it if you had a new iphone and someone demanded it because you ought to share. Admit it, you were wrong and you should not be angry with the Dad for doing something completely normal with his kid. Your kid is your problem. Entertain him yourself and bring your own toy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A toy that is being actively played with (like the frisbee here) does not need to be shared. A toy whose owner is not actively playing with it does need to be shared. So if you bring a ride-on toy and your son gets tired of playing with it, he needs to be okay if someone else touches it.

NP here. I absolutely agree with this. But with the caveat that if you're playing w/ the frisbee and your kid is freaking out because someone is LOOKING at him, you need to coach your kid to calm the eff down.

[Anonymous]

OP - DCUM is NEVER unanimous, and in this case, it is. You are wrong. That dad had EVERY right to bring the frisbee to the tot lot.