Bringing your own toys to the playground-what's the etiquette?
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Anonymous
| Someone brought their frisbee thing to our small but adequate 0-3 playground. I was there with my 18 mo-we were by ourselves initially. I was happy when another kid showed up with his dad. In fact, I know the kid. He's threeish. He and his dad started playing frisbee. Of course my DS was interested and once he saw them, he didn't want to go down the slides etc. The dad wasn't particularly welcoming, and neither was the kid. As soon as my son stopped what he was doing to watch them, the kid shrieked "no baby no baby!" Every time my son made a move in the direction of the frisbee, I had to grab him and redirect him bc given the reaction when we LOOKED at the kid, I can't imagine the reaction if my son had actually made physical contact with the frisbee. It got especially annoying because I took him to the other side of the playground equipment (and was literally carrying up the steps to the slides because he really wasn't interested and just wanted to play with the other kid), but their frisbee kept landing near us, and I had to correct DS 2-3 times. "Larlo is playing with that toy". "That's Larlo's toy" etc. The only other time I experienced this was at a larger playground, and a dad brought his son and a soccer ball. They were kicking it around, but several kids immediately asked to play, and the dad graciously made a ball game for all of them instead of just trying to play with his son. So anyway, what's the etiquette? I found it quite annoying that this pair showed up to a toddler playground with their own toy. We ended up leaving the playground early because it was such a hassle to keep distracting my kid from their game. |
Anonymous
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I get what you are saying, OP but, the boy and his father are not obligated to play with your son. It is not your playground but a public playground therefore they have ever right to come to the playground and play with their toy by themselves. The world doesn't revolve around you or your son and the sooner you both get it the better it will be.
Funny story: My daughter was about 2 and we were also at a public playground. A little girl had a ball and my daughter just looked at it and the girl immediately yelled that's my ball or something like that. I was about to tell my daughter, "that's her ball and we have one at home" when my daughter said " that ball is pretty but it isn't special" I thought it was a perfect response. We were leaving the park anyway and my daughter was quiet so only we could hear her. We still laugh about it today! |
Anonymous
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We tell our 3 yo that any toys that come to the park must be shared - for example, sand toys. I would be thrilled if several kids wanted to kick a ball around, so long as they were capable of playing at the same level. I'd be annoyed if some 5 year olds wanted to play soccer with our ball, because DD couldn't keep up with them: they'd basically be taking her ball. Similarly, I wouldn't expect an 18 MO to be able to play Frisbee with a 3 yo. In your situation I would have let my toddler pick up and return the Frisbee to the older child (never mind the yelling, which the dad should have corrected) but not expected to join the game.
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Anonymous
| I agree with the first PP. No one else is obligated to share their toys with or okay with your child. |
Anonymous
| Get your own Frisbee. |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
| No OP, the father and son were not obligated to include your baby in their frisbee throwing. Your expectations are ridiculous, not simply because an 18m old cannot actually play frisbee. Families have a right to come to a public park and not have to entertain your kid. Sheesh. |
Anonymous
| Obviously I know there's no obligation to play with my kid. My question is more about whether it is annoying when people bring their own toys to a toddler playground with the expectation that it is not going to be a distraction/object of interest for other kids. For example, there are plenty of times that I have thought about bringing a toy to story time for my child, but I've always refrained because I don't want the toy to be an object of contention. |
Anonymous
| I used to find it annoying when DD was younger, but with lots of opportunities to work on it, it is ni big deal now. Lots of things that used to ruin an outing aren't a big deal anymore. |
Anonymous
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I think the context matters a little. Dad and kid were playing / engaging in a specific activity together, which is different than kid playing alone or with certain other kids but not sharing. Could be family lives in an apartment or space with no adequate backyard to play frisbee in.
While I agree it's annoying, not being able to do things that others are doing, or have things that others have is really a life lesson that all kids need to learn eventually. They really can't always get what they want, especially when it's someone else's. |
Anonymous
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Don't think I've ever seen a sign at any toddler playground prohibiting the presence of outside toys or playthings.
Perhaps it's a simple matter of the general public not properly adhering to this "rule" because there isn't one. You know what... This is your moment OP. This is your chance to make a difference in the world. I encourage you to start a grassroots campaign to Keep Toddler Playgrounds Free From Distraction By Other Kids Things and just start putting up signs everywhere and you can start standing outside libraries to gather signatures to try and initiate some legislature making it a crime punishable by a fine and possibly community service to bring (GASP!!!) a "frisbee thing" to a public playground... The horror You can do it OP we're all behind you!! |
Anonymous
A kid eating french fries abt public park is distracting. A kid celebrating his birthday, doing a piñata, handing cake and favors out at a public park is distracting. The other father was great for taking his kid out on a nice day to play with him. You asked a question. Got fairly unanimous answers. I hope you'll acknowledge you're not assessing the situation appropriately. |
Anonymous
You think you're witty but you are not. |
Anonymous
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OP, I don't allow my kids to bring anything, but bubbles from home and they know the bubbles are for sharing.
In your case I would have let my 18 month old watch them or go home if your toddler was no longer interested in playing bring him home, in stead of carrying him up equipment. Be a little less controlling about these types of outings. As others have said no one is obligated to play with your kid. I do agree that bringing toys to the playground and parents who prevent their kids from interacting with other kids are annoying. |
Anonymous
Story time is significantly different from a PLAYground. Jeez. |