Bringing your own toys to the playground-what's the etiquette?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Obviously I know there's no obligation to play with my kid. My question is more about whether it is annoying when people bring their own toys to a toddler playground with the expectation that it is not going to be a distraction/object of interest for other kids. For example, there are plenty of times that I have thought about bringing a toy to story time for my child, but I've always refrained because I don't want the toy to be an object of contention.

Story time is significantly different from a PLAYground. Jeez.

Ok, well, there are numerous times I've thought about bringing a toy to the playground but have not done so because I don't want it to be an object of contention-for example he loves his ride on toy, and we don't have a lot of space to "ride on", but I feel that if I brought it to a 0-3 playground, it would be disruptive.

[Anonymous]

They were playing with a "big kid" toy that was not appropriate for your baby to play with. Most likely, dad gave the preschooler a lecture when he saw your kid how he had to be very careful not to throw it at your baby because frisbees being thrown are not safe for little babies and toddlers.

Your kid could not throw the frisbee, catch th frisbee or play with it in a remotely appropriate way. There is a very good chance that if ge go a hold of it he would have a meltdown if they tried to get it back. Since your kid was too young to safely or reasonably play with the frisbee the way they were playing, of course they didn't want to include him.

This is on you. Everyone does not need to change their play so an uninvited baby can join in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't think I've ever seen a sign at any toddler playground prohibiting the presence of outside toys or playthings.
Perhaps it's a simple matter of the general public not properly adhering to this "rule" because there isn't one.
You know what...
This is your moment OP.
This is your chance to make a difference in the world.
I encourage you to start a grassroots campaign to Keep Toddler Playgrounds Free From Distraction By Other Kids Things and just start putting up signs everywhere and you can start standing outside libraries to gather signatures to try and initiate some legislature making it a crime punishable by a fine and possibly community service to bring (GASP!!!) a "frisbee thing" to a public playground...
The horror
You can do it OP we're all behind you!!

You think you're witty but you are not.

One could easily argue I got more sense than the OP who swears #IAMTHECENTEROFTHEUNIVERSE

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the context matters a little. Dad and kid were playing / engaging in a specific activity together, which is different than kid playing alone or with certain other kids but not sharing. Could be family lives in an apartment or space with no adequate backyard to play frisbee in.

While I agree it's annoying, not being able to do things that others are doing, or have things that others have is really a life lesson that all kids need to learn eventually. They really can't always get what they want, especially when it's someone else's.

In close in suburbs very few backyards are big enough to play frisbee in. It's all about reasonable use of a public space and sharing space. The above comment demonstrates the inherent tension among possessiveness re toys, private property rights, socialization, projection, and sharing that seems to confuse so many parents in this area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Obviously I know there's no obligation to play with my kid. My question is more about whether it is annoying when people bring their own toys to a toddler playground with the expectation that it is not going to be a distraction/object of interest for other kids. For example, there are plenty of times that I have thought about bringing a toy to story time for my child, but I've always refrained because I don't want the toy to be an object of contention.

Story time is significantly different from a PLAYground. Jeez.

Ok, well, there are numerous times I've thought about bringing a toy to the playground but have not done so because I don't want it to be an object of contention-for example he loves his ride on toy, and we don't have a lot of space to "ride on", but I feel that if I brought it to a 0-3 playground, it would be disruptive.

Right. But recognize that many kids bring scooters, bikes, etc., to these places. Do what is best for your kid in a reasonable manner. You are struggling, it seems, to find that balance. It's not easy.

[Anonymous]

I take toys to the park but I warn 3 year old dd that other kids might want to look at and play with her toys and I always encourage her to share for a reasonable time. I've noticed this is how other families operate around here too. If she wants to take a toy that I know she won't let others touch, I say no.

[Anonymous]

Op here, just out of curiosity, if the toy was not a frisbee but one of those remote controlled helicopters-would your answer still be the same? Again, my issue isn't that people have to play with my kid (I'd hardly expect anyone to let my kid touch a remote/helicopter) but that bringing your own toys to a small 0-3 playground is distracting and annoying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here, just out of curiosity, if the toy was not a frisbee but one of those remote controlled helicopters-would your answer still be the same? Again, my issue isn't that people have to play with my kid (I'd hardly expect anyone to let my kid touch a remote/helicopter) but that bringing your own toys to a small 0-3 playground is distracting and annoying.

I would question whether a remote controlled toy of that nature would be appropriate--safety concerns there. It would depend on the space I guess. No way I would bring that, though.

[Anonymous]

My kid is six, so I don't remember where I learned this but kids at that age don't have the cognitive development for sharing or playing with each other. I think that starts around age 2.5 to 3 and takes awhile to get baked in.

Which is the reason we never brought toys to the playground - it was a guaranteed meltdown. Maybe that dad gets it and it's the reason he didn't attempt to share, because he can't control it.

That's a little sad because it has to be learned. When my kid wanted to start bringing toys to the playground, the rule before we left the house was that he had to share and if he couldn't, I would hold the toy. Plus, littler kids were always people that he had to look out for, because they're still learning. Turned out that he likes sharing and to this day always walks up to other kids and asks if they want to play.

[Anonymous]

Sorry OP. Issue here is that your kid was too little to engage in the activity. I think you would be getting different replies about what is reasonable for the other parent to have done if your child were older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here, just out of curiosity, if the toy was not a frisbee but one of those remote controlled helicopters-would your answer still be the same? Again, my issue isn't that people have to play with my kid (I'd hardly expect anyone to let my kid touch a remote/helicopter) but that bringing your own toys to a small 0-3 playground is distracting and annoying.

I would question whether a remote controlled toy of that nature would be appropriate--safety concerns there. It would depend on the space I guess. No way I would bring that, though.

Agree re safety but actually I think a frisbee is a completely inappropriate toy to bring to a tot lot for safety reasons. It's a hard disc that you throw, and unlike a ball, it's hard to throw it straight. I'm 40 and still haven't mastered getting the frisbee from point A to point B. The path of a frisbee is unpredictable if not thrown correctly.

[Anonymous]

We don't bring toys mostly because I don't want to navigate the drama around them. The only toys I get really annoyed by are the toy guns/water guns, especially when bigger kids climb all over the little kid equipment playing with them. I wish DPR would enact a "no toy gun" policy (I know, slippery slope, two sticks can be a "gun").

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here, just out of curiosity, if the toy was not a frisbee but one of those remote controlled helicopters-would your answer still be the same? Again, my issue isn't that people have to play with my kid (I'd hardly expect anyone to let my kid touch a remote/helicopter) but that bringing your own toys to a small 0-3 playground is distracting and annoying.

Answer stays the same.

Unless they were landing it on the actual equipmemt, it was fine for other parent to bring the Air Hog to the playground and wrong for you to get uoset about it.

[Anonymous]

I'm ok with a frisbee. When my son was little I used to be so annoyed at the people who brought huge flashy toy trucks to roll around the sandbox and then spent the whole time trying to keep other kids away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Someone brought their frisbee thing to our small but adequate 0-3 playground. I was there with my 18 mo-we were by ourselves initially. I was happy when another kid showed up with his dad. In fact, I know the kid. He's threeish. He and his dad started playing frisbee. Of course my DS was interested and once he saw them, he didn't want to go down the slides etc. The dad wasn't particularly welcoming, and neither was the kid. As soon as my son stopped what he was doing to watch them, the kid shrieked "no baby no baby!" Every time my son made a move in the direction of the frisbee, I had to grab him and redirect him bc given the reaction when we LOOKED at the kid, I can't imagine the reaction if my son had actually made physical contact with the frisbee. It got especially annoying because I took him to the other side of the playground equipment (and was literally carrying up the steps to the slides because he really wasn't interested and just wanted to play with the other kid), but their frisbee kept landing near us, and I had to correct DS 2-3 times. "Larlo is playing with that toy". "That's Larlo's toy" etc. The only other time I experienced this was at a larger playground, and a dad brought his son and a soccer ball. They were kicking it around, but several kids immediately asked to play, and the dad graciously made a ball game for all of them instead of just trying to play with his son. So anyway, what's the etiquette? I found it quite annoying that this pair showed up to a toddler playground with their own toy. We ended up leaving the playground early because it was such a hassle to keep distracting my kid from their game.

In your shoes, I would have allowed my kid to watch the bigger kid.

Why not??
Your kid wants that toy? Must your kid have everything he wants??
That's what happened to Sam Ellis. He hadn't heard the simple "no" word when he was a tot like your boy.