SAH with Older Kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's really hard to find good care for elementary school kids. Most nannies want the cute cuddly babies and toddlers, not the older kids with opinions and their own friends. Prospective nannies don't even respond to my email when I tell them how old my kids are.

You aren't paying enough. It's a lot easier to take care of older kids.

Actually that wasn't the case for us. I needed help 2 days/week to pick the children up from after school care, bring them home and babysit for 45 minutes. I was paying $50/day for a total of 1.5 hours and the first person quit after a few months, she was taking a full time classes and had a scheduling conflict; and the other one was very unreliable and was almost late to pick up the kids on several occasions even though she worked 4 miles from the school. DD also told me that one of them use to text and drive.

I thought the older ones would be easier also. But we could not find anyone who wanted to do 20 hours/ week in the suburbs. those who wanted to did not have cars ...

[Anonymous]

It's different for different people. Mine DC is in school from 8.45 am to 6 pm. All the classes and homework is done in aftercare. Takes me 5 minutes to pick DC up and drop him off. I would have 9 hours my time if I stayed home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dropping kids off/picking them up, running them around to activities, making them snacks is not a hard job but it is a responsible job.

It's harder when they are younger. Once they get older and can ride the bus or walk home or stay after school for an activity it becomes easier.

Most extracurricular activities take place during evening hours. You really have to look to find a non school related activity that happens directly after school.

??? All my kids activities are right after school: soccer, swim, gymnastics and piano. None are in the evening.

My kid's coaches are working parents so all practices start 5pm or later. We have one practice that is 6:30 to 7:30pm and my oldest practices travel from 6-8pm twice a week.

But my youngest kid doesn't even get off the school bus until 4:15pm so the earliest could be 5pm anyway.

Same here. I think a lot of the "is it difficult or not" is affected by the overall culture of your area and the predominance of working vs. SAH parents. WOH has been easy for us because my kids want to be at extended day because that's where all their friends are. They do a couple extracurricular activities there. Their sports (rec level) all have practices no earlier than 5:30 because the coaches are working parents too. Those sports also only meet 1-2 times a week for practice during M-F plus a game or occasional weekend tournament. If they wanted to do something like dance or gymnastics, we'd have a problem because I know those are not scheduled at convenient times for working parents. They don't do piano lessons but the kids I know who do that have them in the evenings. DD sang in church choir for a while, which is scheduled at 6:30 pm, because parents work. It takes an acknowledgement from all the organizations involved in kids activities that a 4pm activity doesn't work for lots of families.

And on the in-school front, our school very, very rarely has events where they want parents there during the day. Maybe one activity per year per grade asks for volunteers and there is zero expectation that all parents will come. There are no parent-attending holiday parties, except for a Xmas thing in K and a Thanksgiving thing in 1st. Once you are into the upper grades, most families do not have SAHP.

Where are you located? We are in an area with predominately at stay home moms. A lot of practices start around 4:30, they shift schedules around at the last minutes, and there is numerous activities at school where parents volunteers. Initially, I thought this was great because it means the school has a lot of community/parent involvement. However, it's turned out to the more difficult than I thought. DD who is kindergarten told me she was sad that a lot of the other parents are there for various activities and I have only been to 2 class activities and 1 field trip. Lots of playdates take place after school during the week when I cannot participate so my children also feel left out because they are not invited to play dates I invite their friends to play dates during the weekend so I make an effort for that.

[Anonymous]

I work part-time as a high school teacher. It is an awesome schedule... I work about 5 hours a day, get another couple of hours to run errands, prep dinner, or veg out while my kids are still in school, and then have the later afternoons free to drive the kids around to practices, cook dinner, host kids' friends here, send my kids to someone else's house, clean, etc. I feel like I have time to enjoy my kids and their activities. I feel like the weekends are more pleasurable because I can get a lot of errands, laundry, cleaning done during the week. I wish other people had the same opportunity to work part-time. It is wonderful.

[Anonymous]

If I have to pay someone to watch and help my baby or toddler, I can usually find someone who is very good for about $15 to $20 an hour. If I want to have someone watch and help my older elementary child, I'm typically paying about $60 an hour.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I have to pay someone to watch and help my baby or toddler, I can usually find someone who is very good for about $15 to $20 an hour. If I want to have someone watch and help my older elementary child, I'm typically paying about $60 an hour.

$60 an hour? To do what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's different for different people. Mine DC is in school from 8.45 am to 6 pm. All the classes and homework is done in aftercare. Takes me 5 minutes to pick DC up and drop him off. I would have 9 hours my time if I stayed home.

You wouldn't send the kid to aftercare if you worked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's different for different people. Mine DC is in school from 8.45 am to 6 pm. All the classes and homework is done in aftercare. Takes me 5 minutes to pick DC up and drop him off. I would have 9 hours my time if I stayed home.

You wouldn't send the kid to aftercare if you worked.

That was my thought. So, 8:45 to 3:15.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I work part-time as a high school teacher. It is an awesome schedule... I work about 5 hours a day, get another couple of hours to run errands, prep dinner, or veg out while my kids are still in school, and then have the later afternoons free to drive the kids around to practices, cook dinner, host kids' friends here, send my kids to someone else's house, clean, etc. I feel like I have time to enjoy my kids and their activities. I feel like the weekends are more pleasurable because I can get a lot of errands, laundry, cleaning done during the week. I wish other people had the same opportunity to work part-time. It is wonderful.

I agree! Don't SAH full-time, try to find a part-time position instead. Easier said than done, I know, but I think it is the best of both worlds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dropping kids off/picking them up, running them around to activities, making them snacks is not a hard job but it is a responsible job.

It's harder when they are younger. Once they get older and can ride the bus or walk home or stay after school for an activity it becomes easier.

Most extracurricular activities take place during evening hours. You really have to look to find a non school related activity that happens directly after school.

??? All my kids activities are right after school: soccer, swim, gymnastics and piano. None are in the evening.

My kid's coaches are working parents so all practices start 5pm or later. We have one practice that is 6:30 to 7:30pm and my oldest practices travel from 6-8pm twice a week.

But my youngest kid doesn't even get off the school bus until 4:15pm so the earliest could be 5pm anyway.

Same here. I think a lot of the "is it difficult or not" is affected by the overall culture of your area and the predominance of working vs. SAH parents. WOH has been easy for us because my kids want to be at extended day because that's where all their friends are. They do a couple extracurricular activities there. Their sports (rec level) all have practices no earlier than 5:30 because the coaches are working parents too. Those sports also only meet 1-2 times a week for practice during M-F plus a game or occasional weekend tournament. If they wanted to do something like dance or gymnastics, we'd have a problem because I know those are not scheduled at convenient times for working parents. They don't do piano lessons but the kids I know who do that have them in the evenings. DD sang in church choir for a while, which is scheduled at 6:30 pm, because parents work. It takes an acknowledgement from all the organizations involved in kids activities that a 4pm activity doesn't work for lots of families.

And on the in-school front, our school very, very rarely has events where they want parents there during the day. Maybe one activity per year per grade asks for volunteers and there is zero expectation that all parents will come. There are no parent-attending holiday parties, except for a Xmas thing in K and a Thanksgiving thing in 1st. Once you are into the upper grades, most families do not have SAHP.

Where are you located? We are in an area with predominately at stay home moms. A lot of practices start around 4:30, they shift schedules around at the last minutes, and there is numerous activities at school where parents volunteers. Initially, I thought this was great because it means the school has a lot of community/parent involvement. However, it's turned out to the more difficult than I thought. DD who is kindergarten told me she was sad that a lot of the other parents are there for various activities and I have only been to 2 class activities and 1 field trip. Lots of playdates take place after school during the week when I cannot participate so my children also feel left out because they are not invited to play dates I invite their friends to play dates during the weekend so I make an effort for that.

Arlington. I was a SAHM when my oldest was in K-2nd and he felt left out because all his friends were at Extended Day and I was annoyed that soccer practices were at "dinner time". Then I went back to work and I got it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I have to pay someone to watch and help my baby or toddler, I can usually find someone who is very good for about $15 to $20 an hour. If I want to have someone watch and help my older elementary child, I'm typically paying about $60 an hour.

Strange, I pay my very good part-time nanny $18 an hour. Had lots of applicants. My kids are older elementary. Lots of my friends have college students as afterschool nannies (mine is not). Never heard of this being a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dropping kids off/picking them up, running them around to activities, making them snacks is not a hard job but it is a responsible job.

It's harder when they are younger. Once they get older and can ride the bus or walk home or stay after school for an activity it becomes easier.

Most extracurricular activities take place during evening hours. You really have to look to find a non school related activity that happens directly after school.

??? All my kids activities are right after school: soccer, swim, gymnastics and piano. None are in the evening.

My kid's coaches are working parents so all practices start 5pm or later. We have one practice that is 6:30 to 7:30pm and my oldest practices travel from 6-8pm twice a week.

But my youngest kid doesn't even get off the school bus until 4:15pm so the earliest could be 5pm anyway.

Same here. I think a lot of the "is it difficult or not" is affected by the overall culture of your area and the predominance of working vs. SAH parents. WOH has been easy for us because my kids want to be at extended day because that's where all their friends are. They do a couple extracurricular activities there. Their sports (rec level) all have practices no earlier than 5:30 because the coaches are working parents too. Those sports also only meet 1-2 times a week for practice during M-F plus a game or occasional weekend tournament. If they wanted to do something like dance or gymnastics, we'd have a problem because I know those are not scheduled at convenient times for working parents. They don't do piano lessons but the kids I know who do that have them in the evenings. DD sang in church choir for a while, which is scheduled at 6:30 pm, because parents work. It takes an acknowledgement from all the organizations involved in kids activities that a 4pm activity doesn't work for lots of families.

And on the in-school front, our school very, very rarely has events where they want parents there during the day. Maybe one activity per year per grade asks for volunteers and there is zero expectation that all parents will come. There are no parent-attending holiday parties, except for a Xmas thing in K and a Thanksgiving thing in 1st. Once you are into the upper grades, most families do not have SAHP.

Where are you located? We are in an area with predominately at stay home moms. A lot of practices start around 4:30, they shift schedules around at the last minutes, and there is numerous activities at school where parents volunteers. Initially, I thought this was great because it means the school has a lot of community/parent involvement. However, it's turned out to the more difficult than I thought. DD who is kindergarten told me she was sad that a lot of the other parents are there for various activities and I have only been to 2 class activities and 1 field trip. Lots of playdates take place after school during the week when I cannot participate so my children also feel left out because they are not invited to play dates I invite their friends to play dates during the weekend so I make an effort for that.

Better question is where do you live? This isn't the norm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dropping kids off/picking them up, running them around to activities, making them snacks is not a hard job but it is a responsible job.

It's harder when they are younger. Once they get older and can ride the bus or walk home or stay after school for an activity it becomes easier.

Most extracurricular activities take place during evening hours. You really have to look to find a non school related activity that happens directly after school.

??? All my kids activities are right after school: soccer, swim, gymnastics and piano. None are in the evening.

SAHM of three - two teens and one ES. Three schools. I will pick up ES DC at dismissal today to make a 5:00 practice. ES gets out at 4:00.

Also, I am busier now than when my three were younger. A different busy, but I often have to juggle three schedules, not including my own. I earnestly try to be home when middle school arrives at 2:30. HS DC arrives at 3. Youngest doesn't go to ES until 9:00. Time flies.

You have close to six hours a day with no kids home every day. Doesn't sound very crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I have to pay someone to watch and help my baby or toddler, I can usually find someone who is very good for about $15 to $20 an hour. If I want to have someone watch and help my older elementary child, I'm typically paying about $60 an hour.

Strange, I pay my very good part-time nanny $18 an hour. Had lots of applicants. My kids are older elementary. Lots of my friends have college students as afterschool nannies (mine is not). Never heard of this being a problem.

Where/how did you find your nanny?

[Anonymous]

It really depends on if you have flexibility, make good money, and like your job/career. And I guess how many kids you have.

We are two working parents with very flexible schedules and reasonable hours and we have 2 kids. I can see how it would be hard with two biglaw parents or a power couple but we manage fine and have found it easier as they've gotten older. But I make good money and my career is important to me so that helps. We have a good routine and husband is an equal partner. We both have a lot of telework options so most afternoons a parent is home, though kids are in activities/sports etc. so we are often home alone.

If things got out of control with either of our jobs, with older kids and more work experience than when I was younger, I can imagine quitting and setting up my own freelance/consulting business for a few years. But what I really want to avoid is being in my early 50s, both kids out of the house and having no career to turn to because I've been out of the workforce for years. I realize that isn't a concern for everyone, especially if you never liked working or the field you were trained in, etc. but it's huge for me so I'm highly motivated to make it work.