My mother buys my child the ugliest clothes

[Anonymous]

OP, I watched my mom die of a terminal illness when I was a child in elementary school.

Pick your battles. Be grateful. Grow up, and let the stupid shit go.

The things I would give to have my mom around to buy my kids stuff, however ugly, however wasteful, as an expression of her care and love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I watched my mom die of a terminal illness when I was a child in elementary school.

Pick your battles. Be grateful. Grow up, and let the stupid shit go.

The things I would give to have my mom around to buy my kids stuff, however ugly, however wasteful, as an expression of her care and love.

She is not doing this as an expression of her care and love. She is doing it as a way to tell me that I am doing it incorrectly.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I think your son could use a little color in his life. Boys have a lifetime of only being able to wear a limited color palette, and children love bright colors. You don't, OP, and I get it, but I'm kind of with mom on that issue ...

[Anonymous]

Honestly, my MIL does much worse. Those would be awesome. But I say thank you and smile. And they sit in the drawer and rarely get worn.

[Anonymous]

I have the same type of mother and she also does it to try to control my behavior (and has done so my whole life so it's not only since I became a mother). Arguing, rationalizing, etc. never works with this type of person. So I've learned to keep her at arm's length as much as possible and try to let it slide when I am around her. It is very difficult to do since I see her all of the time, but it's the only thing that works. I feel for you!

[Anonymous]

Just put those things on him when she's around. Humor her and be gracious.

[Anonymous]

"Mom, he has plenty of clothes, so I am donating the overflow to kids who don't. I'm sorry if some of what I donate comes from you. If you don't want things to get donated or you want him to wear something when he visits you, keep it at your house."
"I don't want him to wear shoes unless he's been measured for them at a shoe store. I want to be sure his feet are comfortable."

[Anonymous]

this cannot be a real post

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:this cannot be a real post

Why? Because your mother isn't toxic, and so you can't understand how anyone else's could be?

[Anonymous]

No kidding, and a mother who buys him clothes. And that shirt was cute, nothing wrong with it. I think your acting very badly, and feel sorry for your mother who is throwing her money away on someone who doesn't appreciate anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:this cannot be a real post

Why? Because your mother isn't toxic, and so you can't understand how anyone else's could be?

Exactly. People are totally not getting what OP is saying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No kidding, and a mother who buys him clothes. And that shirt was cute, nothing wrong with it. I think your acting very badly, and feel sorry for your mother who is throwing her money away on someone who doesn't appreciate anything.

And I think your grammar skills are on par with your reading skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've seen a lot of these posts, but she babysits frequently, so she sees if I get rid of them. Seriously, the woman can tell if I put an ugly pair of shoes back in the closet, then she holds them in my face and accuses me of dressing my child poorly.

For example, she recently purchased him this shirt:
http://www.walmart.com/ip/Nickelodeon-Blaze-The-Monster-Machines-Toddler-Boy-Short-Sleeve-Graphic-Tee/44016993

He's barely two. He doesn't watch TV. I find this shirt hideous, so I put it in a box in his closet. She came over and asked where it was, then got all passive aggressive about it being hidden. I've asked her to dial down the clothing purchases - he has way too many clothes anyway - and she says that "someone needs to dress him like a child and not a little adult."

She just bought him these in three different sizes, wtf?
http://www.target.com/p/paw-patrol-toddler-boy-s-sneakers-blue/-/A-17167553#prodSlot=_1_7

I'm at a loss here. Help.

They are absolutely fine. Be grateful, nothing wrong with the shirt or shoes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can understand not liking characters/logos on kids' clothing. I never buy that stuff. But the kids love it when they get it as a gift, and I would never stop them from wearing it. What you linked isn't hideous. They're cute, childish things. You just don't like them. That's fine. But no need to overreact or be a control freak. Say thank you and me on with your life.

I understand this - but saying thank you isn't enough. I have to actually dress him in the clothes she sends, and frequently. That's my issue.

You don't have to, though. You have to deal with her disappointment, maybe, but she isn't in charge of you.

[Anonymous]

Just pretend that you're calm and unflappable. She huffs and puffs, you ignore. She makes snarky comments, you smile pleasantly. If she comes to you with open honest questions, you respond with conversation and possible compromise--because that's how adults behave.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this.