Dating app lands teen on sex offenders list after girl lied about her age

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Laws should have some common sense, too.

Let's make the parents of the 14 yr old responsible for the 14 yr old's actions. They should be held accountable for not supervising her enough. Some states hold parents accountable for kids skipping school. I say we should do the same since 14 yr olds are not capable of knowing right from wrong, apparently, or being held accountable for their actions, which caused a man's life to be ruined.

I'm a woman btw.

That's just not the way this type of law works. It is a "statutory offense," which means that the very fact of having sex with a minor makes it rape.

It is not the 14 year old child that ruined this man's life. No one forced him to drive across state lines and meet this child and have sex with her. Those were all voluntary actions on his part and it appears he is being held accountable under the law as it stands.

FFS he thought she was older. I'm not saying he should go scott free, but in these cases, some common sense should apply.

I have a DS and DD. If this situation happened to either of them, I'd be pissed at both of them. If I knew that my dd lied about her age and went on a dating app for adults, I'd hold her responsible for her role, too, and that man for his (or my DS).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Laws should have some common sense, too.

Let's make the parents of the 14 yr old responsible for the 14 yr old's actions. They should be held accountable for not supervising her enough. Some states hold parents accountable for kids skipping school. I say we should do the same since 14 yr olds are not capable of knowing right from wrong, apparently, or being held accountable for their actions, which caused a man's life to be ruined.

I'm a woman btw.

That's just not the way this type of law works. It is a "statutory offense," which means that the very fact of having sex with a minor makes it rape.

It is not the 14 year old child that ruined this man's life. No one forced him to drive across state lines and meet this child and have sex with her. Those were all voluntary actions on his part and it appears he is being held accountable under the law as it stands.

FFS he thought she was older. I'm not saying he should go scott free, but in these cases, some common sense should apply.

I have a DS and DD. If this situation happened to either of them, I'd be pissed at both of them. If I knew that my dd lied about her age and went on a dating app for adults, I'd hold her responsible for her role, too, and that man for his (or my DS).

But she wasn't.

And yes, if my children did this, I'd be mad too. But that is a parent-child issue. It is not a legal issue. Here is the legal issue: a 19-year-old having sex with a 14-year-old, which is illegal for the 19-year-old to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Laws should have some common sense, too.

Let's make the parents of the 14 yr old responsible for the 14 yr old's actions. They should be held accountable for not supervising her enough. Some states hold parents accountable for kids skipping school. I say we should do the same since 14 yr olds are not capable of knowing right from wrong, apparently, or being held accountable for their actions, which caused a man's life to be ruined.

I'm a woman btw.

That's just not the way this type of law works. It is a "statutory offense," which means that the very fact of having sex with a minor makes it rape.

It is not the 14 year old child that ruined this man's life. No one forced him to drive across state lines and meet this child and have sex with her. Those were all voluntary actions on his part and it appears he is being held accountable under the law as it stands.

FFS he thought she was older. I'm not saying he should go scott free, but in these cases, some common sense should apply.

I have a DS and DD. If this situation happened to either of them, I'd be pissed at both of them. If I knew that my dd lied about her age and went on a dating app for adults, I'd hold her responsible for her role, too, and that man for his (or my DS).

But she wasn't.

And yes, if my children did this, I'd be mad too. But that is a parent-child issue. It is not a legal issue. Here is the legal issue: a 19-year-old having sex with a 14-year-old, which is illegal for the 19-year-old to do.

Yea, I know she wasn't, but the point was, he thought she was because she was on an adult-only dating site and told him she was 18. The law should have some common sense. How can he be a child predator if he thought he was having sex with an adult? He wasn't interested in a child; he was interested in an adult.

So, if I unknowingly bought a bag of cocaine because someone else told me it was sugar, I should still be labeled a criminal.. because, it doesn't matter that I didn't know. It's what the law states? It's ludicrous.

Again, not saying he should go free, but being labeled a child predator for the rest of his life makes no sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Laws should have some common sense, too.

Let's make the parents of the 14 yr old responsible for the 14 yr old's actions. They should be held accountable for not supervising her enough. Some states hold parents accountable for kids skipping school. I say we should do the same since 14 yr olds are not capable of knowing right from wrong, apparently, or being held accountable for their actions, which caused a man's life to be ruined.

I'm a woman btw.

That's just not the way this type of law works. It is a "statutory offense," which means that the very fact of having sex with a minor makes it rape.

It is not the 14 year old child that ruined this man's life. No one forced him to drive across state lines and meet this child and have sex with her. Those were all voluntary actions on his part and it appears he is being held accountable under the law as it stands.

FFS he thought she was older. I'm not saying he should go scott free, but in these cases, some common sense should apply.

I have a DS and DD. If this situation happened to either of them, I'd be pissed at both of them. If I knew that my dd lied about her age and went on a dating app for adults, I'd hold her responsible for her role, too, and that man for his (or my DS).

I have a son and a daughter, too, but this has nothing to do with how I would feel about either of their actions in a situation like this. The law is not about feelings or how we think things should be. The facts of this case are that this young man broke the law of the state in which he had sex with an underage minor and was found guilty of statutory rape. It doesn't matter what he thought or what she said.

If you don't like Indiana's laws and you are a resident of Indiana, write to your legislators and let them know what you would like changed.

[Anonymous]

^ so basically, laws should be enforced even if it doesn't make any sense. Got it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Laws should have some common sense, too.

Let's make the parents of the 14 yr old responsible for the 14 yr old's actions. They should be held accountable for not supervising her enough. Some states hold parents accountable for kids skipping school. I say we should do the same since 14 yr olds are not capable of knowing right from wrong, apparently, or being held accountable for their actions, which caused a man's life to be ruined.

I'm a woman btw.

That's just not the way this type of law works. It is a "statutory offense," which means that the very fact of having sex with a minor makes it rape.

It is not the 14 year old child that ruined this man's life. No one forced him to drive across state lines and meet this child and have sex with her. Those were all voluntary actions on his part and it appears he is being held accountable under the law as it stands.

FFS he thought she was older. I'm not saying he should go scott free, but in these cases, some common sense should apply.

I have a DS and DD. If this situation happened to either of them, I'd be pissed at both of them. If I knew that my dd lied about her age and went on a dating app for adults, I'd hold her responsible for her role, too, and that man for his (or my DS).

I have a son and a daughter, too, but this has nothing to do with how I would feel about either of their actions in a situation like this. The law is not about feelings or how we think things should be. The facts of this case are that this young man broke the law of the state in which he had sex with an underage minor and was found guilty of statutory rape. It doesn't matter what he thought or what she said.

If you don't like Indiana's laws and you are a resident of Indiana, write to your legislators and let them know what you would like changed.

Not an Indiana resident, but I think what I would like changed is the part where the law apparently requires people to refrain from doing things they not only didn't realize they were doing but thought they had taken steps to actively not be doing, and yet holds them responsible for someone else deceiving them into doing a thing without their knowledge.

Anyone who deliberately has sex with someone they know to be underage, or who should likely have suspected was underage, yeah, absolutely, that's morally and legally wrong and they should be held accountable. But if this girl was representing her age as above the legal age of consent on an app where the presumption is that those who are present are in fact of age, I'm not sure what else the boy was supposed to do here or how it's appropriate, logical, or reasonable for the law to have somehow expected him to know what this girl was lying about or not.

[Anonymous]

^ your argument is too reasonable for the law.

If a cop did what this girl did, it would be called entrapment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Yea, I know she wasn't, but the point was, he thought she was because she was on an adult-only dating site and told him she was 18. The law should have some common sense. How can he be a child predator if he thought he was having sex with an adult? He wasn't interested in a child; he was interested in an adult.

So, if I unknowingly bought a bag of cocaine because someone else told me it was sugar, I should still be labeled a criminal.. because, it doesn't matter that I didn't know. It's what the law states? It's ludicrous.

Again, not saying he should go free, but being labeled a child predator for the rest of his life makes no sense.

He's not a child predator. He's a 19-year-old who had sex with a 14-year-old, which is illegal, and which should (in my opinion) be illegal.

Should he be on the child predator list for the rest of his life? I don't think so. But that's a separate issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ your argument is too reasonable for the law.

If a cop did what this girl did, it would be called entrapment.

And if a pig had wings, it would be a pigeon. But, in fact, a pig doesn't have wings, and a cop didn't do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Not an Indiana resident, but I think what I would like changed is the part where the law apparently requires people to refrain from doing things they not only didn't realize they were doing but thought they had taken steps to actively not be doing, and yet holds them responsible for someone else deceiving them into doing a thing without their knowledge.

Anyone who deliberately has sex with someone they know to be underage, or who should likely have suspected was underage, yeah, absolutely, that's morally and legally wrong and they should be held accountable. But if this girl was representing her age as above the legal age of consent on an app where the presumption is that those who are present are in fact of age, I'm not sure what else the boy was supposed to do here or how it's appropriate, logical, or reasonable for the law to have somehow expected him to know what this girl was lying about or not.

There is a very simple way to avoid having sex with people who are underage, namely: only have sex with people of whom you are absolutely, positively certain that they are of age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Yea, I know she wasn't, but the point was, he thought she was because she was on an adult-only dating site and told him she was 18. The law should have some common sense. How can he be a child predator if he thought he was having sex with an adult? He wasn't interested in a child; he was interested in an adult.

So, if I unknowingly bought a bag of cocaine because someone else told me it was sugar, I should still be labeled a criminal.. because, it doesn't matter that I didn't know. It's what the law states? It's ludicrous.

Again, not saying he should go free, but being labeled a child predator for the rest of his life makes no sense.

He's not a child predator. He's a 19-year-old who had sex with a 14-year-old, which is illegal, and which should (in my opinion) be illegal.

Should he be on the child predator list for the rest of his life? I don't think so. But that's a separate issue.

I'm not arguing that a 19yr old having sex with a 14 yr old shouldn't be illegal. In this case, the guy is now labeled a child sex predator, and that's wrong. That's what I think is wrong here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Not an Indiana resident, but I think what I would like changed is the part where the law apparently requires people to refrain from doing things they not only didn't realize they were doing but thought they had taken steps to actively not be doing, and yet holds them responsible for someone else deceiving them into doing a thing without their knowledge.

Anyone who deliberately has sex with someone they know to be underage, or who should likely have suspected was underage, yeah, absolutely, that's morally and legally wrong and they should be held accountable. But if this girl was representing her age as above the legal age of consent on an app where the presumption is that those who are present are in fact of age, I'm not sure what else the boy was supposed to do here or how it's appropriate, logical, or reasonable for the law to have somehow expected him to know what this girl was lying about or not.

There is a very simple way to avoid having sex with people who are underage, namely: only have sex with people of whom you are absolutely, positively certain that they are of age.

And if the 14 yr old had a fake ID? How else would you be absolutely positive other than asking the parents? And how would you know if the parents were really her parents? You'd have to have her take a DNA test to make sure she is who she she says she is then cross check it with birth certificate records.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Not an Indiana resident, but I think what I would like changed is the part where the law apparently requires people to refrain from doing things they not only didn't realize they were doing but thought they had taken steps to actively not be doing, and yet holds them responsible for someone else deceiving them into doing a thing without their knowledge.

Anyone who deliberately has sex with someone they know to be underage, or who should likely have suspected was underage, yeah, absolutely, that's morally and legally wrong and they should be held accountable. But if this girl was representing her age as above the legal age of consent on an app where the presumption is that those who are present are in fact of age, I'm not sure what else the boy was supposed to do here or how it's appropriate, logical, or reasonable for the law to have somehow expected him to know what this girl was lying about or not.

There is a very simple way to avoid having sex with people who are underage, namely: only have sex with people of whom you are absolutely, positively certain that they are of age.

Given previous discussion in this thread, my simple question to you is: how do you know?

Relying on whether someone looks old enough is obviously no help.

Looking for partners in supposed "adults only" venues isn't enough... see this situation and similar.

Checking ID isn't enough, apparently... if the person's ID is fake, you're still responsible.

How can you be "absolutely, positively" certain the person from class, the dating website, the bar, or really anywhere other than work is exactly who they and their ID say they are?

I'm lucky to have known my SO since high school, and since we were in the same grade I did not ever have this problem, but given this and similar incidents it certainly seems to me to be a potential problem. Our laws should have a bit of common sense.

[Anonymous]

I just don't get all the mental gymnastics trying to make this not the young man's fault. It is statutory rape. Trying to make it sound as though it is impossible to ever know how old someone is is just silly. Meeting up with someone you've exchanged messages with online, driving across state lines to meet her and then having sex with her is a bad idea all around. A 19 year old should know better. This situation turned out to not only be a bad idea, but also illegal.

[Anonymous]

He didn't just think she was of age - she openly, in writing, misrepresented her age on purpose. Even if we now make all people carry copies of birth certificates to double check age, it wouldn't work with girls like this who deliberately lie.

I guess all people now need to be tattooed at birth to avoid this.

Or preach celibacy. No need to worry if you just keep your pants on!