Dating app lands teen on sex offenders list after girl lied about her age

[Anonymous]

It should be a jail-able offense to lie about your age

[Anonymous]

I saw this in the off-topic forum, but I think it's relevant for many parents of teenagers.
http://dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/490270.page

Parents need to warn their teenagers about this type of danger.

A 19-year-old Indiana man landed on the sex offender registry in two states after using an app to hook up with a girl who lied about her age.
Zach Anderson of Elkhart, Ind., used the "Hot or Not" app to connect with a 14-year-old Michigan girl who told him she was 17, CNN reported. Anderson had sex with the girl, and was later arrested.
A judge sentenced Anderson to six months in jail and five years probation — and placed him on the sex offender list in both Indiana and Michigan for 25 years.
As a result, Zach is not allowed to live at home with his 15-year-old brother and his parents. He is forbidden to go to the mall or walk around the park.

thats a lot of distance....bet there is a lot more to the story...at 19 I would not have known a 14 year old existed...guys a creep.

[Anonymous]

Similarly, if you watched porn that you thought was legal, but was really a 14 year old who lied about her age, should you go to jail?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a DD and DS. The girl bears some responsibility here. Yes, she is only 14. But at that age she knows right from wrong. She's 14, not 7. She lied about her age, and went on an app that is not meant for underage kids. I think girls who do this type of thing should also be punished some how, like doing community service. Poor guy's life is now ruined.

I agree.

And she deliberated represented herself as an older teen.

Physically and behavior wise there is virtually no difference between a 14 year old high school student and a 17 year old high school student (females)

They are much more indistiguishable in most instances than boys of the same age spread.

She needs to be punished and he should be taken off the sex offender registry.

A 14 year old is a child. It does not matter if he or she looks older or acts older or even lies about his or her age. The law takes into account that 14 year olds might do these things and therefore makes it illegal for adults to have sex with them. Our society protects children whom we deem too young to consent to having sex with adults. That's why it is called statutory rape. It is rape because the statute says it is.

Our legislators have voted for these laws because they believe that is what the people they represent want. Different states have different laws. If you would like the state involved here to change their laws, and you are a resident of the state, write to them and ask them to change the law.

If she is too young to consent then she shoukd also be too young to get birth control or abortions without her parents' consent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a DD and DS. The girl bears some responsibility here. Yes, she is only 14. But at that age she knows right from wrong. She's 14, not 7. She lied about her age, and went on an app that is not meant for underage kids. I think girls who do this type of thing should also be punished some how, like doing community service. Poor guy's life is now ruined.

I agree.

And she deliberated represented herself as an older teen.

Physically and behavior wise there is virtually no difference between a 14 year old high school student and a 17 year old high school student (females)

They are much more indistiguishable in most instances than boys of the same age spread.

She needs to be punished and he should be taken off the sex offender registry.

A 14 year old is a child. It does not matter if he or she looks older or acts older or even lies about his or her age. The law takes into account that 14 year olds might do these things and therefore makes it illegal for adults to have sex with them. Our society protects children whom we deem too young to consent to having sex with adults. That's why it is called statutory rape. It is rape because the statute says it is.

Our legislators have voted for these laws because they believe that is what the people they represent want. Different states have different laws. If you would like the state involved here to change their laws, and you are a resident of the state, write to them and ask them to change the law.

If she is too young to consent then she shoukd also be too young to get birth control or abortions without her parents' consent.

She's old enough to consent with a peer, someone who is much closer in age. When the age difference is that large, there's a power gap, and that's when true consent comes into question. Hence statutory rape laws.

These things are not analogous to birth control and abortion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Similarly, if you watched porn that you thought was legal, but was really a 14 year old who lied about her age, should you go to jail?

Didn't that kind of happen with Tracy Lords? She was underage, not sure about the exact age. But yea, no one got arrested for viewing the porn, that I heard of anyways. I think they did take all the videos down, though.

This kind of thing happens all the time in the porn industry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a DD and DS. The girl bears some responsibility here. Yes, she is only 14. But at that age she knows right from wrong. She's 14, not 7. She lied about her age, and went on an app that is not meant for underage kids. I think girls who do this type of thing should also be punished some how, like doing community service. Poor guy's life is now ruined.

I agree.

And she deliberated represented herself as an older teen.

Physically and behavior wise there is virtually no difference between a 14 year old high school student and a 17 year old high school student (females)

They are much more indistiguishable in most instances than boys of the same age spread.

She needs to be punished and he should be taken off the sex offender registry.

A 14 year old is a child. It does not matter if he or she looks older or acts older or even lies about his or her age. The law takes into account that 14 year olds might do these things and therefore makes it illegal for adults to have sex with them. Our society protects children whom we deem too young to consent to having sex with adults. That's why it is called statutory rape. It is rape because the statute says it is.

Our legislators have voted for these laws because they believe that is what the people they represent want. Different states have different laws. If you would like the state involved here to change their laws, and you are a resident of the state, write to them and ask them to change the law.

If she is too young to consent then she shoukd also be too young to get birth control or abortions without her parents' consent.

She's old enough to consent with a peer, someone who is much closer in age. When the age difference is that large, there's a power gap, and that's when true consent comes into question. Hence statutory rape laws.

These things are not analogous to birth control and abortion.

Right. These are very different situations.

There is a big difference between a 14 year old and a 19 year old. A 19 year old is a man or a woman and is old enough to have a full time job or join the military. That five year gap between 14 and 19 is huge and a lot of growing up takes place in those years. A 19 year old should be aware of these laws and go out of his or her way to avoid coming even close to committing statutory rape. A 14 year old is still a child, particularly compared to a 19 year old, and as such is under the protection of statutory rape laws.

[Anonymous]

I would like someone to answer the fake ID question from a PP. Obviously it is the right, legal, morally necessary thing to make sure the person you're having sex with can and does grant competent consent. However, here we have one partner lying and claiming to be of age to do exactly that. If the young man had taken steps to verify somehow, such as asking for proof of age, how would the law react had the girl presented false identification? At what point has the adult truly done their due diligence to comply with laws protecting our children in good faith, if there are clear incidents where some underage individuals are determined to deceive in an effort to engage in acts they are not legally permitted to consent to?

I'm curious to see if anyone thinks there could be a point at which the underage partner could be the one in the wrong, from either a legal or moral standpoint?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It should be a jail-able offense to lie about your age

There will be a lot of "29"-year-olds in jail, then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would like someone to answer the fake ID question from a PP. Obviously it is the right, legal, morally necessary thing to make sure the person you're having sex with can and does grant competent consent. However, here we have one partner lying and claiming to be of age to do exactly that. If the young man had taken steps to verify somehow, such as asking for proof of age, how would the law react had the girl presented false identification? At what point has the adult truly done their due diligence to comply with laws protecting our children in good faith, if there are clear incidents where some underage individuals are determined to deceive in an effort to engage in acts they are not legally permitted to consent to?

I'm curious to see if anyone thinks there could be a point at which the underage partner could be the one in the wrong, from either a legal or moral standpoint?

There is no due diligence in these cases and it is only the legal standpoint that matters, since we are discussing a legal case. The fact that one person is a legal adult according to the law and the other is an underage minor according to the law makes an act of sex between them statutory rape. It is rape because the statute says it is. The fact that it is statutory rape has no relation to any statement or act of the underage minor, it is the fact that one person is a minor and one an adult according to the parameters of the law of the state involved that makes it rape.

The law recognizes that children are immature and so we protect them from their own immaturity with statutory rape laws. The legal adult in the situation bears the full culpability. Our society places a priority on the protection of children and that is the purpose of statutory rape laws.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would like someone to answer the fake ID question from a PP. Obviously it is the right, legal, morally necessary thing to make sure the person you're having sex with can and does grant competent consent. However, here we have one partner lying and claiming to be of age to do exactly that. If the young man had taken steps to verify somehow, such as asking for proof of age, how would the law react had the girl presented false identification? At what point has the adult truly done their due diligence to comply with laws protecting our children in good faith, if there are clear incidents where some underage individuals are determined to deceive in an effort to engage in acts they are not legally permitted to consent to?

I'm curious to see if anyone thinks there could be a point at which the underage partner could be the one in the wrong, from either a legal or moral standpoint?

There is no due diligence in these cases and it is only the legal standpoint that matters, since we are discussing a legal case. The fact that one person is a legal adult according to the law and the other is an underage minor according to the law makes an act of sex between them statutory rape. It is rape because the statute says it is. The fact that it is statutory rape has no relation to any statement or act of the underage minor, it is the fact that one person is a minor and one an adult according to the parameters of the law of the state involved that makes it rape.

The law recognizes that children are immature and so we protect them from their own immaturity with statutory rape laws. The legal adult in the situation bears the full culpability. Our society places a priority on the protection of children and that is the purpose of statutory rape laws

On one hand that's understandable and probably good. But if someone can lie, say they can legally take an action, provide false documentation when someone else attempts to verify this, and still it is the other person who is in trouble for eventually going ahead with the action... does that truly make sense? Unless you either know the person's family or attended some portion of K-12 education, which is age-separated, together, how can anyone truly verify another person's age and legal ability to engage in adult activities given that provision of what may genuinely appear to be a proof of age document is not sufficient if that document is false ?

I have had the same question in the past for businesses that are charged for providing alcohol to underage people with fake ID's however it is slightly more understandable to me that a business can be required to train its employees to recognize fake proof of age. I just think it's a bit unrealistic to require every legal adult to be able to do so.

Of course children should be protected from people who would take advantage of them, however this doesn't seem like such a clear-cut situation to me if I'm interpreting the facts correctly.

Most dating sites require users to agree to TOS stating they are legally of age, so if someone on a dating site who has integrity to follow the regulations takes that in good faith it seems to me a bit harsh to expect the person to basically be able to read minds.

I'm conflicted on this one. Minors can't consent, so going after someone below the age of consent is flat out wrong, but it also feels to me like this young man was fairly effectively trapped through no active fault of his own. I didn't get the impression that he purposefully went looking for an underage individual, knowingly had sexual relations with an underage individual, or even necessarily would have consented to the activity had he known the girl's true age. Is it possible that his consent was violated as well by provision of false information about his partner by said partner? I don't think either party gave competent consent in this case. This is all kinds of messed up, IMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would like someone to answer the fake ID question from a PP. Obviously it is the right, legal, morally necessary thing to make sure the person you're having sex with can and does grant competent consent. However, here we have one partner lying and claiming to be of age to do exactly that. If the young man had taken steps to verify somehow, such as asking for proof of age, how would the law react had the girl presented false identification? At what point has the adult truly done their due diligence to comply with laws protecting our children in good faith, if there are clear incidents where some underage individuals are determined to deceive in an effort to engage in acts they are not legally permitted to consent to?

I'm curious to see if anyone thinks there could be a point at which the underage partner could be the one in the wrong, from either a legal or moral standpoint?

There is no due diligence in these cases and it is only the legal standpoint that matters, since we are discussing a legal case. The fact that one person is a legal adult according to the law and the other is an underage minor according to the law makes an act of sex between them statutory rape. It is rape because the statute says it is. The fact that it is statutory rape has no relation to any statement or act of the underage minor, it is the fact that one person is a minor and one an adult according to the parameters of the law of the state involved that makes it rape.

The law recognizes that children are immature and so we protect them from their own immaturity with statutory rape laws. The legal adult in the situation bears the full culpability. Our society places a priority on the protection of children and that is the purpose of statutory rape laws

On one hand that's understandable and probably good. But if someone can lie, say they can legally take an action, provide false documentation when someone else attempts to verify this, and still it is the other person who is in trouble for eventually going ahead with the action... does that truly make sense? Unless you either know the person's family or attended some portion of K-12 education, which is age-separated, together, how can anyone truly verify another person's age and legal ability to engage in adult activities given that provision of what may genuinely appear to be a proof of age document is not sufficient if that document is false ?

I have had the same question in the past for businesses that are charged for providing alcohol to underage people with fake ID's however it is slightly more understandable to me that a business can be required to train its employees to recognize fake proof of age. I just think it's a bit unrealistic to require every legal adult to be able to do so.

Of course children should be protected from people who would take advantage of them, however this doesn't seem like such a clear-cut situation to me if I'm interpreting the facts correctly.

Most dating sites require users to agree to TOS stating they are legally of age, so if someone on a dating site who has integrity to follow the regulations takes that in good faith it seems to me a bit harsh to expect the person to basically be able to read minds.

I'm conflicted on this one. Minors can't consent, so going after someone below the age of consent is flat out wrong, but it also feels to me like this young man was fairly effectively trapped through no active fault of his own. I didn't get the impression that he purposefully went looking for an underage individual, knowingly had sexual relations with an underage individual, or even necessarily would have consented to the activity had he known the girl's true age. Is it possible that his consent was violated as well by provision of false information about his partner by said partner? I don't think either party gave competent consent in this case. This is all kinds of messed up, IMO.

I don't see the point in going through mental contortions to blame children for the crimes of adults. The laws in these situations are clear. The laws are written to protect children, from their own immaturity as well as from predatory adults. The responsibility is on the adult to ascertain that the other person is a legal adult. If the adult has any doubt whatsoever, they shouldn't do it, whether it is selling alcohol or having sex.

[Anonymous]

Laws should have some common sense, too.

Let's make the parents of the 14 yr old responsible for the 14 yr old's actions. They should be held accountable for not supervising her enough. Some states hold parents accountable for kids skipping school. I say we should do the same since 14 yr olds are not capable of knowing right from wrong, apparently, or being held accountable for their actions, which caused a man's life to be ruined.

I'm a woman btw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Laws should have some common sense, too.

Let's make the parents of the 14 yr old responsible for the 14 yr old's actions. They should be held accountable for not supervising her enough. Some states hold parents accountable for kids skipping school. I say we should do the same since 14 yr olds are not capable of knowing right from wrong, apparently, or being held accountable for their actions, which caused a man's life to be ruined.

I'm a woman btw.

That's just not the way this type of law works. It is a "statutory offense," which means that the very fact of having sex with a minor makes it rape.

It is not the 14 year old child that ruined this man's life. No one forced him to drive across state lines and meet this child and have sex with her. Those were all voluntary actions on his part and it appears he is being held accountable under the law as it stands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Laws should have some common sense, too.

Let's make the parents of the 14 yr old responsible for the 14 yr old's actions. They should be held accountable for not supervising her enough. Some states hold parents accountable for kids skipping school. I say we should do the same since 14 yr olds are not capable of knowing right from wrong, apparently, or being held accountable for their actions, which caused a man's life to be ruined.

I'm a woman btw.

Here is what ruined the man's life:

1. having sex with a 14-year-old he hooked up with on a "dating" app
2. getting a judge who refused to put him in a first-time offender program

I, personally, think that there's plenty of common sense to a law that says that 14-year-olds are too young to be legally able to consent to sex.