Dating app lands teen on sex offenders list after girl lied about her age

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We charge 14 year olds as adults all the time. To say that this young lady bears no responsibility in this, despite her blatant dishonesty and trickery is ridiculous. She was in a space meant for adults (dating app), lied about her age, and had consensual (albeit illegal) sex. This is not the same thing as a predator seeking out child victims. She was as much a party to the "crime" as he was, and he does not deserve to have his life ruined as a result.

The justice system by default treats women as perpetual victims and men as violent predators, shielding women from any responsibility for their behavior.

It's interesting that you say that, given that the law is gender-neutral. 14-year-olds (boys or girls) cannot consent; 19-year-olds (men or women) who have sex with 14-year-olds (boys or girls) are committing statutory rape.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I don't get is why he's treated the same as pedophile rapists who are attacking 6 year olds. Or rapists who attack women at night. Even though she was young, this was consensual. What we teach boys is "yes means yes" and she clearly said yes.

No, it wasn't. That is what age of consent means. If you are below the age of consent, you are not old enough to be able to consent. You can agree, but you cannot consent.

Actually the law in Michigan says that you can consent at 13, MD says 14. So she was not below the age of consent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
If you want the age-of-consent laws to say that it's legal to have sex with somebody below the age of consent if a reasonable person would believe that they were old enough to consent, then you should contact your state legislator. Until the law is changed, however, a prudent person will do more than simply take the word of somebody they just met on a dating app that that somebody is old enough to consent.

Correct. But again, the dude is an idiot, not a pedophile, nor a sex offender. There is no reason for this guy to be on a lifetime sex offender registry, nor for him not to be eligible for the Holmes Youthful Trainee Act in Michigan.

Well, he is a sex offender, given that he was convicted of a sex offense. But mostly he is an idiot, and I agree that his punishment did not fit his crime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We charge 14 year olds as adults all the time. To say that this young lady bears no responsibility in this, despite her blatant dishonesty and trickery is ridiculous. She was in a space meant for adults (dating app), lied about her age, and had consensual (albeit illegal) sex. This is not the same thing as a predator seeking out child victims. She was as much a party to the "crime" as he was, and he does not deserve to have his life ruined as a result.

Charge her with what?

And no, she did not have consensual sex. She is 14. She cannot have consensual sex with a 19-year-old.

Lying about her age, if she did this to obtain alcohol it is a crime, why not to obtain sex?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We charge 14 year olds as adults all the time. To say that this young lady bears no responsibility in this, despite her blatant dishonesty and trickery is ridiculous. She was in a space meant for adults (dating app), lied about her age, and had consensual (albeit illegal) sex. This is not the same thing as a predator seeking out child victims. She was as much a party to the "crime" as he was, and he does not deserve to have his life ruined as a result.

The justice system by default treats women as perpetual victims and men as violent predators, shielding women from any responsibility for their behavior.

It's interesting that you say that, given that the law is gender-neutral. 14-year-olds (boys or girls) cannot consent; 19-year-olds (men or women) who have sex with 14-year-olds (boys or girls) are committing statutory rape.

Can you link to a case where a 19 yo girl is a registered sex offender for having sex with a 14 yo boy who lied about his age?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We charge 14 year olds as adults all the time. To say that this young lady bears no responsibility in this, despite her blatant dishonesty and trickery is ridiculous. She was in a space meant for adults (dating app), lied about her age, and had consensual (albeit illegal) sex. This is not the same thing as a predator seeking out child victims. She was as much a party to the "crime" as he was, and he does not deserve to have his life ruined as a result.

Charge her with what?

And no, she did not have consensual sex. She is 14. She cannot have consensual sex with a 19-year-old.

Lying about her age, if she did this to obtain alcohol it is a crime, why not to obtain sex?

It is not illegal to lie about your age. Would you like to make it illegal? If so, start lobbying your state legislature. There might be First Amendment issues, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're talking about a 14 year old here. I don't care how old she looked, a 14 year old is very, very different from a 19 year old. A 14 year old is still a child in many ways and has the thought processes of a child. I would hope that our society would place the protection of children high on its list of priorities.

Sorry, we're more concerned with making sure men can put their penises where they want consequence-free.

How does the sentence given to this boy protect children?

Cases like this have a deterrence value. It encourages other people to be more careful about making sure the people they're having sex with aren't children.

Rubbish. This is utterly unjust, horrifying. It sounds as if it is part of the private prison industry arrangement for mandatory prisoner numbers. I forget what it is actually called. This is just sickening and corrupt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We charge 14 year olds as adults all the time. To say that this young lady bears no responsibility in this, despite her blatant dishonesty and trickery is ridiculous. She was in a space meant for adults (dating app), lied about her age, and had consensual (albeit illegal) sex. This is not the same thing as a predator seeking out child victims. She was as much a party to the "crime" as he was, and he does not deserve to have his life ruined as a result.

Charge her with what?

And no, she did not have consensual sex. She is 14. She cannot have consensual sex with a 19-year-old.

Lying about her age, if she did this to obtain alcohol it is a crime, why not to obtain sex?

It is not illegal to lie about your age. Would you like to make it illegal? If so, start lobbying your state legislature. There might be First Amendment issues, though.

Its already illegal to lie about your age for alcohol so I don't need to lobby for that. The link to the law was already provided.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We charge 14 year olds as adults all the time. To say that this young lady bears no responsibility in this, despite her blatant dishonesty and trickery is ridiculous. She was in a space meant for adults (dating app), lied about her age, and had consensual (albeit illegal) sex. This is not the same thing as a predator seeking out child victims. She was as much a party to the "crime" as he was, and he does not deserve to have his life ruined as a result.

The justice system by default treats women as perpetual victims and men as violent predators, shielding women from any responsibility for their behavior.

It's interesting that you say that, given that the law is gender-neutral. 14-year-olds (boys or girls) cannot consent; 19-year-olds (men or women) who have sex with 14-year-olds (boys or girls) are committing statutory rape.

Can you link to a case where a 19 yo girl is a registered sex offender for having sex with a 14 yo boy who lied about his age?

What's your argument -- that the courts don't prosecute women for statutory rape? or don't put women convicted of statutory rape on the sex offender list? or...?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We charge 14 year olds as adults all the time. To say that this young lady bears no responsibility in this, despite her blatant dishonesty and trickery is ridiculous. She was in a space meant for adults (dating app), lied about her age, and had consensual (albeit illegal) sex. This is not the same thing as a predator seeking out child victims. She was as much a party to the "crime" as he was, and he does not deserve to have his life ruined as a result.

Charge her with what?

And no, she did not have consensual sex. She is 14. She cannot have consensual sex with a 19-year-old.

Lying about her age, if she did this to obtain alcohol it is a crime, why not to obtain sex?

It is not illegal to lie about your age. Would you like to make it illegal? If so, start lobbying your state legislature. There might be First Amendment issues, though.

Its already illegal to lie about your age for alcohol so I don't need to lobby for that. The link to the law was already provided.

It is not illegal to lie about your age for alcohol. The link was to Maryland state law, which provides that it is illegal to provide false ID for the purpose of obtaining alcohol. It's the difference between:

Q: How old are you?
A: 21.

and

Q: Please show ID with proof of age.
A: *provides false ID*

The first is legal. The second is not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We charge 14 year olds as adults all the time. To say that this young lady bears no responsibility in this, despite her blatant dishonesty and trickery is ridiculous. She was in a space meant for adults (dating app), lied about her age, and had consensual (albeit illegal) sex. This is not the same thing as a predator seeking out child victims. She was as much a party to the "crime" as he was, and he does not deserve to have his life ruined as a result.

Charge her with what?

And no, she did not have consensual sex. She is 14. She cannot have consensual sex with a 19-year-old.

My point was not that she should be charged with something, although I think she should, but that there is a discrepancy in how we treat adolescents in this country. If she had murdered him, she would be charged as an adult, the argument being that she knows right from wrong and chose to engage in a very adult act/crime. However, because in this situation the adult act she took part in is sex, she somehow cannot tell right from wrong, cannot be held responsible for her own actions and choices, and a young man's life is ruined because SHE lied.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We charge 14 year olds as adults all the time. To say that this young lady bears no responsibility in this, despite her blatant dishonesty and trickery is ridiculous. She was in a space meant for adults (dating app), lied about her age, and had consensual (albeit illegal) sex. This is not the same thing as a predator seeking out child victims. She was as much a party to the "crime" as he was, and he does not deserve to have his life ruined as a result.

Charge her with what?

And no, she did not have consensual sex. She is 14. She cannot have consensual sex with a 19-year-old.

My point was not that she should be charged with something, although I think she should, but that there is a discrepancy in how we treat adolescents in this country. If she had murdered him, she would be charged as an adult, the argument being that she knows right from wrong and chose to engage in a very adult act/crime. However, because in this situation the adult act she took part in is sex, she somehow cannot tell right from wrong, cannot be held responsible for her own actions and choices, and a young man's life is ruined because SHE lied.

She would probably not be charged as an adult if she murdered somebody, nor should she be charged as an adult, because she is not an adult. What's more, the standard for being charged as an adult is not ability to tell right from wrong, and ability to tell right from wrong is also not the standard for age of consent.

Also, it is not illegal for a 14-year-old to have sex. It is also not illegal for a 14-year-old to lie about her age. However, it is illegal for a 19-year-old to have sex with a 14-year-old. If you think it shouldn't be, then work to change that law.

What ruined the 19-year-old's life? First, having sex with somebody he didn't know was of age. Second, getting the judge he got.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We charge 14 year olds as adults all the time. To say that this young lady bears no responsibility in this, despite her blatant dishonesty and trickery is ridiculous. She was in a space meant for adults (dating app), lied about her age, and had consensual (albeit illegal) sex. This is not the same thing as a predator seeking out child victims. She was as much a party to the "crime" as he was, and he does not deserve to have his life ruined as a result.

Charge her with what?

And no, she did not have consensual sex. She is 14. She cannot have consensual sex with a 19-year-old.

My point was not that she should be charged with something, although I think she should, but that there is a discrepancy in how we treat adolescents in this country. If she had murdered him, she would be charged as an adult, the argument being that she knows right from wrong and chose to engage in a very adult act/crime. However, because in this situation the adult act she took part in is sex, she somehow cannot tell right from wrong, cannot be held responsible for her own actions and choices, and a young man's life is ruined because SHE lied.

She would probably not be charged as an adult if she murdered somebody, nor should she be charged as an adult, because she is not an adult. What's more, the standard for being charged as an adult is not ability to tell right from wrong, and ability to tell right from wrong is also not the standard for age of consent.

Also, it is not illegal for a 14-year-old to have sex. It is also not illegal for a 14-year-old to lie about her age. However, it is illegal for a 19-year-old to have sex with a 14-year-old. If you think it shouldn't be, then work to change that law.

What ruined the 19-year-old's life? First, having sex with somebody he didn't know was of age. Second, getting the judge he got.

Being naive ruined his life.

[Anonymous]

Also, it is not illegal for a 14-year-old to have sex. It is also not illegal for a 14-year-old to lie about her age. However, it is illegal for a 19-year-old to have sex with a 14-year-old. If you think it shouldn't be, then work to change that law.

What ruined the 19-year-old's life? First, having sex with somebody he didn't know was of age. Second, getting the judge he got.

We don't really know what facts the judge had before him when he made his decisions.

There appears to be a bit of a publicity campaign on behalf of this young man, with his family and lawyers speaking to various media outlets. Obviously, the information they are imparting is all very favorable to this young man. It is entirely possible that there is other information that the judge considered that the family is not publicizing. We have no way to know the full story.

He has admitted that he had sex with a 14 year old minor girl as a 19 year old adult male, so those facts appear to be not in contention here; his family is upset at his punishment. Looking at the law, it looks as if, had he been tried in Indiana, he could have had 1-6 years in prison with a possible $10,000 fine, so things actually could have been even worse for him than they are.

[Anonymous]

The judge made statements that suggest that there was an exception that could have applied buy he doesn't like the use of dating apps and therefore didn't apply it in this case.