Am I reading too much into it? Weird relationship between my dad and SIL

[Anonymous]

My BIL was 20 years older than his SIL and behaved a lot like OP describes the two in her posts. They had an affair and it tore two families apart.

Your father needs to quit giving his DIL attention. I would make mother put a stop to it and them coming over. Your brother needs to keep his wife under control. She sounds slutty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Omg this is OP no I am not a troll . They live at my parents house Friday to Monday as in over the weekend. SIL calls my dad daily during the week to check in. They have a very close relationship they talk and share things. I said before that I am a little jealous and feel left out because they keep talking to each other like I am not even there. I am not part of any conversations. This is completely separate from the butt smacking. How do bikinis get wet? There are numerous ways to accomplish this. One can urinate but a more common approach is to partake in swimming. Anyways I decided that I am reading way too much into the whole thing. My dad has issues with boundaries. My SIL isn't shy about her body and feels confident to display her ass for the world to see. And I am just jealous and a prude.

Jealous? Of what? You want to be the one who gives your dad an erection?

This is so fucked up I can't even keep reading this damn thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg this is OP no I am not a troll . They live at my parents house Friday to Monday as in over the weekend. SIL calls my dad daily during the week to check in. They have a very close relationship they talk and share things. I said before that I am a little jealous and feel left out because they keep talking to each other like I am not even there. I am not part of any conversations. This is completely separate from the butt smacking. How do bikinis get wet? There are numerous ways to accomplish this. One can urinate but a more common approach is to partake in swimming. Anyways I decided that I am reading way too much into the whole thing. My dad has issues with boundaries. My SIL isn't shy about her body and feels confident to display her ass for the world to see. And I am just jealous and a prude.

Jealous? Of what? You want to be the one who gives your dad an erection?

This is so fucked up I can't even keep reading this damn thread.

Some PPs seem to be deliberately trying to misunderstand the OP. She can be jealous of SIL because SIL gets attention generally and is confident and personable without specifically wanting *sexual* attention from her dad. Geez, people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg this is OP no I am not a troll . They live at my parents house Friday to Monday as in over the weekend. SIL calls my dad daily during the week to check in. They have a very close relationship they talk and share things. I said before that I am a little jealous and feel left out because they keep talking to each other like I am not even there. I am not part of any conversations. This is completely separate from the butt smacking. How do bikinis get wet? There are numerous ways to accomplish this. One can urinate but a more common approach is to partake in swimming. Anyways I decided that I am reading way too much into the whole thing. My dad has issues with boundaries. My SIL isn't shy about her body and feels confident to display her ass for the world to see. And I am just jealous and a prude.

Jealous? Of what? You want to be the one who gives your dad an erection?

This is so fucked up I can't even keep reading this damn thread.

Some PPs seem to be deliberately trying to misunderstand the OP. She can be jealous of SIL because SIL gets attention generally and is confident and personable without specifically wanting *sexual* attention from her dad. Geez, people.

Why is OP minimizing what is going on here? It is totally inappropriate and she is ultimately blaming herself "I'm jealous and a prude" and "I am reading way too much into the whole thing." Um, no, you're not, OP. It is disgusting times a thousand.

SIL walks around in front of her FIL in skimpy clothes (no pants) and calls him at work? And OP and her own mother are quietly stewing. Sounds like SIL isn't the only one who needs to put on a pair of big girl pants!

[Anonymous]

OP, why have you had jealousy issues with your sil in the past? Please don't let your fear of your family allow you to this behavior is normal. It is creepy!!! How can you bee so sure nothing sexual is going on?

[Anonymous]

20 years ago I used to babysit for a wealthy family. It was his second marriage and her first. The wife was much younger than the husband and the children from his first marriage were her peers age wise.

The husband had an affair with his son's wife.

It tore the entire family apart.

[Anonymous]

This is op to answer why I had jealousy issues in the past. Brother is the only boy in the family and Growing up he was reverted while my sisters and I got second pickings. When SIL entered the family she basked in Brother's glory while my sisters and I are still treated as second class citizens.

[Anonymous]

Revered not reverted

[Anonymous]

I agree that other posters are being intentionally obtuse. She wants her father to have a meaningful interaction with her. Be interested in her life and family. That had nothing to do with all of the obviously inappropriate sexual behavior happening between dad and sil.
If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck. It's a fucking duck. You aren't clouded by jealousy. Shit is going down on some level ( possibly just emotionally). You, however, have no credibility here. Drop it.
You need some therapy. You have some richly deserved Daddy issues. This can't be your problem. You're Dh and kids come first. This shit show isn't yours to clean up.

[Anonymous]

This whole thing is disgusting and I'd have a really hard time maintaining a relationship with my dad if he acted like this. And I would not have my kids around an aunt who's wearing just a thong or lacey panties at the pool. We are not nudists and you can always borrow extra shorts if you've run out - sisters share clothes. They don't flash each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is op to answer why I had jealousy issues in the past. Brother is the only boy in the family and Growing up he was reverted while my sisters and I got second pickings. When SIL entered the family she basked in Brother's glory while my sisters and I are still treated as second class citizens.

Bright side OP:

Your bro grew to be workaholic, in a shitty marriage, to a trashy gal.
Your parents neglect might have been to your benefit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here I know that there is nothing sexual going on between them but I just feel very weird like they have some sort of platonic connection Or an emotional affair in DCUM lingo. My brother is spending most of the vacation on his laptop he is working. So today we were at the beach and one of her kids got cranky so she left to put him to bed. My dad was upset that she did not tell him that they are leaving. He also Keeps commenting on her tan and appearance in general. I have never vacationed Witt her before but apparently she is a little uninhibited. She came back to the beach in a shirt And lace underwear because all her bikinis were wet. Just totally weirded out by the whole thing.

BS! No way she did this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is op to answer why I had jealousy issues in the past. Brother is the only boy in the family and Growing up he was reverted while my sisters and I got second pickings. When SIL entered the family she basked in Brother's glory while my sisters and I are still treated as second class citizens.

Bright side OP:

Your bro grew to be workaholic, in a shitty marriage, to a trashy gal.
Your parents neglect might have been to your benefit.

NP here. This is the best way to look at it. In order to and avoid any comparisons or accusations that you're jealous I definitely would keep the issue at what the issue is: the inappropriate sexual nature of their interactions. Not just a jealousy over a close relationship. I hear what you're saying here you don't want to have a sexual relationship with him obviously but you're picking up on every little thing to feel like you're being ignored. I'd rather be ignored than looked at by my dad in this way though as I'm sure you would. I would distance myself from them and not vacation. It doesn't sound like your dad is likely to complain about that but if he does I would just tell him you were very uncomfortable with the sexual nature of the relationship. Expect denial and embarrassment and anger and I would just deal with that and say here's some examples, giving the panty examples, the touch examples etc.

Honestly, if it were to get bad with accusations I would show them the link to this post because then it'll really affect them the fact that this many people thought you were a troll because their behavior is so incredibly inappropriate it is not to be believed.

I don't think you were victim blaming. It's not your business whether she was abused or not or whether she is simply a lonely manipulator or not. But especially if you have children I would not want them to witness these inappropriate interactions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree that other posters are being intentionally obtuse. She wants her father to have a meaningful interaction with her. Be interested in her life and family. That had nothing to do with all of the obviously inappropriate sexual behavior happening between dad and sil.
If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck. It's a fucking duck. You aren't clouded by jealousy. Shit is going down on some level ( possibly just emotionally). You, however, have no credibility here. Drop it.
You need some therapy. You have some richly deserved Daddy issues. This can't be your problem. You're Dh and kids come first. This shit show isn't yours to clean up.

Good post. OP, I'm sorry you have to deal with this BS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks it's creepy that OP is jealous that her father is flirting and being sexual at her SIL? You want your dad to touch your butt, OP? That's not right.

Yeah, it's weird. In one post, op said she feels like sil has replaced her.